Mating in Captivity Audiobook By Esther Perel cover art

Mating in Captivity

Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic

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Mating in Captivity

By: Esther Perel
Narrated by: Esther Perel
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About this listen

Esther Perel takes on tough questions, grappling with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

In her 20 years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on?

In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn't always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.

While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel's take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the "X" back in sex.

©2006 Esther Perel (P)2006 HarperCollins Publishers
Marriage & Long-Term Partnerships Personal Development Psychology Sex Instruction Well-being Essentials
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Critic reviews

"As revelatory as it is straightforward....Perel sanctions fantasy and play and offers the estranged modern couple a unique richness of experience." (Publishers Weekly)

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What listeners say about Mating in Captivity

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Ignore the naysaying. The book is fantastic.

Do you want committed, connected love to stay hot? Do you think it’s impossible, but wish it weren’t? Haven’t you seen the rare couples for whom it is true? Listen to the book. Ester Perel is a jewel with a very good point.

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    3 out of 5 stars

Very anecdotal

I appreciate much of this book. But it felt like at least 90% of it was anecdotal- which makes it interesting but made me wish for more direct or applicable insight from the author.

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A Long Term Success Manual for All Couples

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

First, take a listen to Esther Perel's TED talks to see if you like her voice. I found listening to Esther Perel not only instructive but hypnotic. Her many many examples of clients she has helped through her counseling provides all sorts of useful scenarios (and hangups) as well as resolutions that couples have achieved no matter what they were struggling with.

Which character – as performed by Esther Perel – was your favorite?

The narrator

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

The bottomline is that eroticism is key to happy relationships. It's not all about sex. You will learn how to have the excitement and tension and lust in your committed relationship that you might be tempted to find outside of your partnership. She'll teach you how to spark what keeps us alive in the long run within your long-term relationships.

Any additional comments?

Have an open mind as you listen. You might be tempted to think "that's not our problem." But it probably is. And looking inward as you listen will really help.

It's nice that she tells stories about couples who are both straight and gay. She also touches on polyamory / open relationships.

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A must read for anyone in a relationship

This book is fascinating and helpful. Ester Perel is so amazing and insightful in such a real-life way. She has a no BS way of breaking things down. Even when an issue in the book is not something that directly applies to your situation, the information and insight she gives are gold. Highly recommend this for couples, especially if your in a funk.

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Great content.

The book itself is very interesting, as I expected, having listened to Esther's other works.
The narration, though, was somewhat flat. I don't know if it's because I compared it with Esther's audible series of interviews with couples, but I found it a little monotone. Like she was just reading the book without really feeling, living it. Which is weird, since she's the author. It's great content nonetheless, and worth listening to.

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I've gained a different perspective on my sexuality.

I love the non American perspective Esther brings to the discussion of sex and our preoccupation with the penis. The clitoral complex rarely gets any of the lime light. Think"She Comes First." Amazing book.

Through this book I've been able to come to terms with my actions as a monogamous married man of 10 years and why things are the way they are in the bedroom. I can make them better, I think.

Amazing book if one is willing to do some soul searching and non-egoic perusal of one's beliefs and preprogramming from childhood.

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Must Read for anyone in a relationship

Fascinating. Great, imaginative, realistic ideas for maintaining passion in a committed relationship. I couldn't put it down.

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Recommended to many friends!

Very powerful book for couples. I appreciate how Esther is so bold but understanding. Don't let the title intimidate you!

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Masterful

So far out of all the books and workshops I've done, she's the best! She gets it. She gets me. I feel like there really is a way for me to have love, desire, spontaneity, passion, security, fulfillment, in a long term relationship. Thank you Ester, God bless you!

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Fantastic

Interesting, poignant, and refreshing. Perel's voice and diction is hypnotic! Looking forward to her upcoming book which I hope she narrates once again.

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