Agnes and the Hitman
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Narrated by:
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Sandra Burr
About this listen
Agnes Crandall's life goes awry when a dognapper invades her kitchen one night, seriously hampering her attempts to put on a wedding that she's staked her entire net worth on. Then a hero climbs through her bedroom window. His name is Shane - no last name, just Shane - and he has his own problems: He's got a big hit scheduled, a rival trying to take him out, and an ex-mobster uncle asking him to protect some little kid named Agnes. When he finds out that Agnes isn't so little, that his uncle has forgotten to mention a missing five million bucks he might have lost in Agnes' house, and that his last hit was a miss, Shane's life isn't looking so good, either. Then a bunch of lowlifes come looking for the money, a string of hitmen show up for Agnes, and some wedding guests gather with the intent to throw more than rice. Agnes and Shane have their hands full with greed, florists, treachery, flamingos, mayhem, mothers of the bride, and - most dangerous of all - each other.
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Lindsey is getting into her groove as the director of the Briar Creek Public Library when a New York editor visits town, creating quite a buzz. Lindsey's friend Beth wants to sell the editor her children's book, but Beth's boyfriend, a famous author, gets in the way. When they go to confront him, he's found murdered - and Beth is the prime suspect. Lindsey has to act fast - before they throw the book at the wrong person.
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Loved it
- By Beatrice on 09-13-15
By: Jenn McKinlay
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The Ritual Bath
- The First Peter Decker and Rina Lazarus Novel
- By: Faye Kellerman
- Narrated by: Mitchell Greenberg
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Detective Peter Decker of the LAPD is stunned when he gets the report. Someone has shattered the sanctuary of a remote yeshiva community in the California hills with an unimaginable crime. One of the women was brutally raped as she returned from the mikvah, the bathhouse where the cleansing ritual is performed.
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Good Read
- By Eva Gannon on 08-21-08
By: Faye Kellerman
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Raven Stole the Moon
- A Novel
- By: Garth Stein
- Narrated by: Jennifer Van Dyck
- Length: 12 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Jenna Rosen returns to the place in Alaska where her young son, Bobby, disappeared without a trace two years before. Jenna is determined to lay to rest the aching mystery of his death. But ancient legends may have had a hand in Bobby’s fate, forcing Jenna to sift through her own Native American ancestry to uncover the truth.
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I love this book
- By Em mom of 3 on 08-27-18
By: Garth Stein
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The Good Luck Girls of Shipwreck Lane
- By: Kelly Harms
- Narrated by: Reay Kaplan, Suehyla El-Attar
- Length: 10 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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When their lives and personalities intersect, however, they discover that more than just a million-dollar dream home awaits them at the water’s edge. These three women (oh yes, Aunt Midge comes along for the ride!) arrive at their newfound mansion only to uncover what exactly it means to truly be "home." Filled with wit and charm, The Good Luck Girls of Shipwreck Lane is Kelly Harms's enchanting and heartfelt debut - a testament to the many, many ways love finds us, the power of a home-cooked meal, and just what it means to be lucky.
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good plot but the swearing was too much for me
- By Arianne on 02-13-20
By: Kelly Harms
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No Time for Goodbye
- By: Linwood Barclay
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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The house was deathly quiet. That was the first sign that something was terribly wrong. Fourteen-year-old Cynthia Bigge woke that morning to find herself alone. Her family - mother, father, and brother - had vanished without a word, without a note, without a trace. Twenty-five years later, Cynthia is still looking for answers. Now she is about to learn the devastating truth.
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No Time for Goodbye gets 5*s all around
- By shelley on 06-25-14
By: Linwood Barclay
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Blood Stains
- By: Sharon Sala
- Narrated by: Gayle Hendrix
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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At the reading of her father's will, Maria Slade receives shocking news—as a four-year-old, she'd witnessed her prostitute mother's murder and been taken into hiding by the well-meaning preacher who'd raised her as his own. Maria remembers none of that. But now she's determined to flush her mother's killer out of hiding and discover the identity of her birth father. She heads to Tulsa, Oklahoma, where she meets Detective Bodie Scott.
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Narration NOT RIGHT!!!!!!!!
- By Donna Thomas on 02-16-13
By: Sharon Sala
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Heartbreaker
- Buchanan-Renard-MacKenna, Book 1
- By: Julie Garwood
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 13 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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In the still shadows of the confessional, a madman tauntingly reveals his plan for a murder he is going to commit, pulling Father Thomas Madden into a twisted game by disclosing his next intended victim: Tom's sister, Laurant. In a frantic race to protect her, Tom calls upon his best friend, elite FBI agent Nick Buchanan, to track the predator who is closing in on Laurant. Now, as an electrifying attraction grows between Laurant and Nick, so does the danger - and one false move will cost both of them everything that matters.
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No struggle here.
- By Tom on 04-09-16
By: Julie Garwood
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give me a different voice!
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One-Note Narration
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Glad I got to read her first effort!
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The Windy City isn't quite ready for Phoebe Somerville - the outrageous, curvaceous New York knockout who has just inherited the Chicago Stars football team. And Phoebe is definitely not prepared for the Stars' head coach Dan Celebow, a sexist jock taskmaster with a one-track mind. Celebow is everything Phoebe abhors. And the sexy new boss is everything Dan despises - a meddling bimbo who doesn't know a pigskin from a pitcher's mound.
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Man the end of this book had me pacing!
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The Price of Scandal
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He didn't kiss me back like a gentleman. No, Derek Price slammed my back into the front door. A beast off his leash. Emily Stanton's perfect life just became a disaster. She has a trust fund brother looking for a handout, a father who is more board member than dad, and a mother who thinks she should give up on this whole billionaire CEO thing and meet a man with a pre-nup and a yacht. Oh, and then there's that "misunderstanding" with law enforcement witnessed by Miami's paparazzi.
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DNF
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By: Lucy Score
What listeners say about Agnes and the Hitman
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- Bonnie
- 08-14-10
Love Jennifer Crusie But
The story was fun and enjoyable EXCEPT that there are many times the characters are thinking, and the narration is in an echo chamber. It is very hard to understand what they are saying (thinking) I have hearing problems and it was even hard with my noise canceling head phones. If you are going to make a character think, try a whisper, not an echo chamber. I know I missed a lot because of this, that is why only 3 stars. It wasn't the narrators it was the production.
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21 people found this helpful
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- Book Pig
- 09-05-18
Pure Crusie and Mayer magic!
Been a fan of Jennifer Crusie for decades, love her zany characters and zippy storytelling, I’m slow to try out new authors. Nevertheless I was wanting to read a new JC book and decided to give “Wild Ride” a try. Boy was I happy that I did! The JC magic was there and Mayer provided an additional layer in terms of the male character’s voice and background (Mayer is former military) and it made a wonderful story. Agnes and the Hitman did not disappoint. Perhaps to some the career choice of Shane is off-putting, but come on people it’s fiction! To me Agnes did not come across as whiny as some reviewers said, I believe being abandoned by her parents and subsequent failed relationships made her feel insecure in between bouts of anger. I really enjoyed reading these two people, who at the beginning feel abandoned and lost, come together and find each other, and together with their crazy family members find love and belonging and contentment.
As for the narration - I LOVED Sandra Burr’s interpretation of the character’s voices. She was able to inject unique nuances and tones with each character - quite a feat when JC and BM tends to have many characters! As for the thought bubbles or echo tunnel voices, it was a bit strange in the beginning but I got used to it really quick and appreciated it because you can clearly hear when the characters are thinking, rather than speaking. It was part of the charm. I did not find Burr’s depiction of Agnes to be ditzy, she didn’t come across breathing the words, but I can see those familiar with JC’s previous female characters are usually quite ballsy, and perhaps the nickname “Cranky Agnes” prejudiced some people’s perception of how Agnes should have come a crossed.
Bottom line, I love the story, love the narration and am enjoying playing it again and again because it is so entertaining.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Christina
- 12-19-12
So Much Fun!
What made the experience of listening to Agnes and the Hitman the most enjoyable?
Burr does a really excellent job of portraying Agnes, and captures the pacing of the story perfectly.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Agnes and the Hitman?
Without a doubt my favorite scene was when the bridge shows up.
What does Sandra Burr bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
This is a hard one for me to answer, because I read the story before I listened to it. I do feel she did justice to some of the trickier parts, such as the Agnes' inner dialogue.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
Both! Of the 3 that Crusie and Mayer wrote together, this is by far my favorite.
Any additional comments?
In this book you get the fabulous bantering dialogue that Jennifer Crusie does better than almost anyone, but it's the contrast/compliment of the quirky Agnes and the solid, stoic Shane as written by Bob Mayer that makes this book so perfect.
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Overall
- Patricia
- 08-25-08
Absolutely Delicious!
One of the most thoroughly engaging and humorous books I have read in ages. Set in the South, this story takes place in just a few days time, as a wedding extraordinaire is about to be sabotaged by the most devious, malicious, manipulative little bombshell of a Southern Belle done wrong. Throw in some G-Men, mobsters and a heroine with guts and you have a wonderful ensemble of colorful, quirky characters that are the most entertaining group of nut-jobs you could want. I found this reminiscent of an Elmore Leonard tale and would have to say that reading Agnes and the Hitman was just an absolute romp!
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- Lorinda
- 04-29-12
Fun listen
What a cute little book. Agnes is a non-traditional character. Enjoyed her "conversations" with her anger control therapist although they were difficult to hear because of the recording style.
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- Barbara
- 03-26-12
Couldn't stop listening!
I really enjoyed the character of cranky Agnes. Her misfit family are all interesting and the story continues to move along well. The narration was good, although the "echo chamber thoughts" were something new to me and I had to get used to them. The book has a great, light-hearted appeal to it. I recommend it for listening to while doing things around the house or while on vacation.
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- Merry
- 12-01-17
Laughter at murder and mayhem?
I can't believe I continually laughed out loud. Anger issues kept the heroine slightly off balance, using her frying pan to get her point across and protect her dog. Her fabulous cooking won everyone's heart, especially that of a certain hit man. The New Jersey mob and a do or die wedding, this book has it all.
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- Debra
- 10-26-20
Agnes
Loved reading this story, love listening to it. Laugh every time over the raspberry sauce. The first few chapters will have you rolling. Enjoy!!!
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- Nosizwe Martin
- 10-06-23
Humour and fun
This is the second Jennifer Cruzie book I’ve listened to, and that’s narrated by Sandra Burr.
I loved this story and Sandra Burr did a great job with the tempo, ambiance and the voices.
This zany story is made all the better with the humour and fun incorporated in the telling.
I disliked, tho, the manner of the thought bubbles….pitched too low to hear clearly and it just irritated me. But that’s solely a production issue, nothing to do with the story or narration.
It’s a light and, ultimately, happy book.
If you need that for a few days, listen to this.
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- Anonymous User
- 05-24-24
Outstanding book!
Just a wonderful book. The characters are easy to fall in love with and the story moves along at a great pace.
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