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Beauty Queens
- Narrated by: Libba Bray
- Length: 14 hrs and 33 mins
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Publisher's summary
The 50 contestants in the Miss Teen Dream pageant thought this was going to be a fun trip to the beach, where they could parade in their state-appropriate costumes and compete in front of the cameras. But sadly, their airplane had another idea, crashing on a desert island and leaving the survivors stranded with little food, little water, and practically no eyeliner. What’s a beauty queen to do? Continue to practice for the talent portion of the program - or wrestle snakes to the ground? Get a perfect tan - or learn to run wild? And what should happen when the sexy pirates show up? Welcome to the heart of non-exfoliated darkness.
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✫✫ 5 Stars ✫✫
- By 🎧 Cyndi Marie 🎧 on 02-02-18
By: JA Huss
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The New Moon's Arms
- By: Nalo Hopkinson
- Narrated by: Gin Hammond
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Calamity is confronting two big transitions: the death of her beloved father and the beginning of menopause, a physical shift that has rekindled her gift for finding lost things. Suddenly, she is getting hot flashes that seem to forge objects out of thin air, most notably a four-year old boy. As Calamity takes the child into her care, she discovers that all is not as it seems. Then, Calamity must reawaken to the mysteries surrounding her own childhood and the early disappearance of her mother.
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What a joy
- By newmoon on 07-05-19
By: Nalo Hopkinson
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Alex, Approximately
- By: Jenn Bennett
- Narrated by: Amy Melissa Bentley
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Classic movie buff Bailey "Mink" Rydell has spent months crushing on a witty film geek she only knows online by "Alex". Two coasts separate the teens until Bailey moves in with her dad, who lives in the same California surfing town as her online crush. Faced with doubts (what if he's a creep in real life - or worse?), Bailey doesn't tell Alex she's moved to his hometown. Or that she's landed a job at the local tourist-trap museum. Or that she's being heckled daily by the irritatingly hot museum security guard, Porter Roth - a.k.a. her new arch-nemesis.
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Great But Don't Read the Synopsis!
- By Lorna on 09-26-17
By: Jenn Bennett
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Bleeding Violet
- By: Dia Reeves
- Narrated by: Suzy Jackson
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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With a head plagued by hallucinations, a medicine cabinet full of pills, and a closet stuffed with frilly, violet dresses, Hanna's tired of being the outcast, the weird girl, the freak. So she runs away to Portero, Texas, in search of a new home. But Portero is a stranger town than Hanna expects. She discovers secrets that would terrify any normal soul. Good thing for Hanna, she's far from normal. As this crazy girl meets an even crazier town, only two things are certain: Anything can happen, and no one is safe.
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Didn't like it. Sorry, not sorry
- By Cii'Em on 02-15-16
By: Dia Reeves
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Love at First Sight
- A Cupid, Texas Novel, Book 1
- By: Lori Wilde
- Narrated by: C. J. Critt
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Natalie McCleary couldn't believe her eyes - a lean-muscled, darkly tanned, nearly naked man stood in her path...and then it hit her: love. Everyone always told her it would hit like a thunderbolt, and she never believed them. But now she knew: practical, sensible Natalie was head over heels in love - with a stranger. But ex-Navy SEAL Dade Vega wasn't about to be a stranger for long.
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Enjoyable romance, but not memorable.
- By Karen on 06-01-13
By: Lori Wilde
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Bewitching
- By: Alex Flinn
- Narrated by: Casey Holloway
- Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Once, I put a curse on a beastly and arrogant high school boy. That one turned out all right. Others didn’t. I go to a new school now - one where no one knows that I should have graduated long ago. I’m not still here because I’m stupid; I just don’t age. You see, I’m immortal. And I pretty much know everything after hundreds of years - except for when to take my powers and butt out. Now a girl named Emma needs me. I probably shouldn’t get involved, but her gorgeous stepsister is conniving to the core.
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Emma and Kendra
- By Elizabeth Gordon on 07-12-16
By: Alex Flinn
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Because You Love to Hate Me
- 13 Tales of Villainy
- By: Ameriie - editor
- Narrated by: Ameriie, Kevin T. Collins, Julia Whelan
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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In this unique YA anthology, 13 acclaimed, best-selling authors team up with 13 influential BookTubers to reimagine fairy tales from the oft-misunderstood villains' points of view. These fractured, unconventional spins on classics like Medusa, Sherlock Holmes, and 'Jack and the Beanstalk' provide a behind-the-curtain look at villains' acts of vengeance, defiance, and rage - and the pain, heartbreak, and sorrow that spurned them on. No fairy tale will ever seem quite the same again!
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I enjoyed more than I expected
- By Doha on 08-30-17
By: Ameriie - editor
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Witches of East End
- By: Melissa de la Cruz
- Narrated by: Katie Schorr
- Length: 7 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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The three Beauchamp women—Joanna and her daughters Freya and Ingrid—live in North Hampton, out on the tip of Long Island. Their beautiful, mist-shrouded town seems almost stuck in time, and all three women lead seemingly quiet, uneventful existences. But they are harboring a mighty secret—they are powerful witches banned from using their magic. Joanna can resurrect people from the dead and heal the most serious of injuries....
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Actually a nice, light listen
- By Theodore on 03-15-12
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Unearthly
- By: Cynthia Hand
- Narrated by: Samantha Quan
- Length: 10 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Clara Gardner has recently learned that she's part angel. Having angel blood run through her veins not only makes her smarter, stronger, and faster than humans (a word, she realizes, that no longer applies to her), but it means she has a purpose, something she was put on this earth to do. Figuring out what that is, though, isn't easy.
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Fantastic story, horrible narrator.
- By BookMama on 08-26-11
By: Cynthia Hand
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Allison Hewitt Is Trapped
- A Zombie Novel
- By: Madeleine Roux
- Narrated by: Piper Goodeve
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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One woman's story as she blogs about - and fights back against - the zombie apocalypse.
Allison Hewitt and her five colleagues at the Brooks and Peabody Bookstore are trapped together when the zombie outbreak hits. Allison reaches out for help through her blog, writing on her laptop. It may also be her only chance to reach her mother. But as the reality of their situation sinks in, Allison's blog becomes a harrowing account of her edge-of-the-seat adventures.
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lots of potential but disappointing
- By Linda B on 04-29-11
By: Madeleine Roux
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Stories
- All-New Tales
- By: Neil Gaiman - author/editor, Al Sarrantonio - editor, Joe Hill, and others
- Narrated by: Anne Bobby, Jonathan Davis, Katherine Kellgren, and others
- Length: 18 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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The best stories pull readers in and keep them turning the pages, eager to discover more—to find the answer to the question: "And then what happened?" The true hallmark of great literature is great imagination, and as Neil Gaiman and Al Sarrantonio prove with this outstanding collection, when it comes to great fiction, all genres are equal.
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Something for Everyone
- By Nicole on 05-24-17
By: Neil Gaiman - author/editor, and others
What listeners say about Beauty Queens
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Ashley
- 02-05-14
Great fun.
The first part of this story is BRILLIANT. Absolutely hilarious, great satire. The ending (well really as soon as the pirates .. yes pirates... show up) its starts to get a little bit too 'out there' for me.
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- pinkcoffeecake
- 01-25-16
FEMTASTIC!
What did you love best about Beauty Queens?
I loved how this book was narrated! The author does an amazing job and it really brings it to life.
What did you like best about this story?
This story has no one main character. It follows many without being confusing.
What about Libba Bray’s performance did you like?
Mrs. Bray narrates this book with style. She brings it to life with voices and special effects.
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
I love how this book is so crazy! It was a wild ride and I laughed the whole way.
Any additional comments?
This is a credit well spent! Highly recommended
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- naruvoll
- 11-12-18
Great laughs with a ton of heart
As a heads up, YA isn’t usually my genre. I tend to stick fast to Fantasy and Sci-fi. And I am older. But I am so glad I branched out for this one. This book was magnificent and the author proved a truly wonderful reader who made her own book sing. I smiled most of the book and laughed out loud often. It made the drive to work a joy and made it feel too short.
While a few of the girls get lost in the shuffle of the large ensemble cast, the majority of them are completely endearing and you want to see them succeed and bond. Which made for a happy but not saccharine story of friendship.
Definitely recommend. 5 stars on all fronts.
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- Jeanie M. Phillips
- 02-24-13
Laugh out loud funny
Any additional comments?
I struggled with this book at first- so many stereotypes, so many cliches. Once I let that go I just enjoyed the hilarity. This book is supposed to be over the top and once I embraced the exaggeration it made me laugh out loud. I still chuckle just thinking about the characters in this book.
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- O. Lindy
- 12-20-19
The audio performance kept me in it
The best thing about this book is Libba Bray's narration. The character voices she did were spot on and entertaining BUT the plot of the book was silly and over-the-top and many of the chapters could have used editing (do editors even exist anymore? So many books would be better with judicious editing). I walked away from the book several times when it veered too far into the absurd but kept coming back in hopes it would right itself. It didn't, unfortunately. Worth a credit? I guess. I did laugh out loud a couple of times and enjoyed the voice acting of the author. Some books, like this one, seem tailor made for Audible - I just wish the plot had been better.
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-16-18
Funny, Satirical, Ultimately Cheesy
I hoped that the excellent satire of act 1 would develop into something a little deeper. It did, but in a very cheesy "be yourself!" way, that I would have liked even less as a teenager. The characters aren't really developed past tagline personalities, with the slight exception of Petra. The way that the trauma of almost dying several times would actually affect a bunch of teenagers is completely ignored. But it's good fun, and the satire is funny enough to make it worthwhile.
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- Lara
- 02-14-14
OMG! This is most horrible and awesome book ever..
Where does Beauty Queens rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
It's currently at the top of my list...I loved the quirky and twisted tale, but I also appreciated the deeper issues addressed throughout the insanity and chaos.
Who was your favorite character and why?
Can't pick one...they all rock...even the bad guys.
What does Libba Bray bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
She is the reason I loved this book...the book is quirky and fun all on its own, but Libba and her portrayal of her characters MADE the book. I loved her, loved her voices...
If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?
Not a freakin' clue...
Any additional comments?
I have a serious and many say unhealthy hatred of doughnuts...they are so beyond gross...the smell, the taste, the texture...YUCK!!! Totally random I know, but if you listen through to the very last second it will make total sense.
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Overall
- Adri
- 01-25-16
Good!
It provided for a good escape from reality and had some funny parts to it.
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- Dianne
- 11-11-12
Not for very young adults
I would recommend the first six chapters of the book. They are laugh-out-loud funny and satirical. But after that the book bogs down with too many politically correct messages to convey, a silly story line, and the outrageous humor gets dimmed. The language and sexual suggestions make this a book for older teens, not younger teens The narration is outstanding and I looked forward to each time the characters of Taylor and Tiara spoke.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Kaitlyn
- 05-14-13
A funny, lighthearted read
If you’ve listened to books by Libba Bray before, how does this one compare?
I've read Libba Bray's A Great and Terrible Beauty series, and this book was written in a completely different tone, its hard to compare them. It was fun and lighthearted and seems to be Libba Bray just writing for the fun of it!
Which character – as performed by Libba Bray – was your favorite?
The narration was absolutely great! All the characters had their own very distinct and hilarious voices that really made the book fun to listen to!
Any additional comments?
The book was a pretty fun listen, my only criticism is that after a while the not-so-subtle "see guys, I'm a feminist!" lessons get a bit old, but keeping in mind that I am not of the intended teenage audience (to which some of these ideas may be new) it still didn't detract from my enjoyment of the book!
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2 people found this helpful