Before I Forget
Love, Hope, Help, and Acceptance in Our Fight Against Alzheimer's
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About this listen
"I know where I'm going. I'm still myself. I just can't remember things as well as I once did. So on short trips, I work hard not to be confused. I'll say to myself, What are we going to do? How long are we staying? It's like I'm talking to my other self - the self I used to be. She tells me, This is what we need to buy - not that. I'm conscious of that other self guiding me now."
Restaurateur, magazine publisher, celebrity chef, and nationally known lifestyle maven B. Smith is struggling at 66 with a tag she never expected to add to that string: Alzheimer's patient. She's not alone. Every 67 seconds someone newly develops it, and millions of lives are affected by its aftershocks.
B. and her husband, Dan, working with Vanity Fair contributing editor Michael Shnayerson, unstintingly share their unfolding story. Crafted in short chapters that interweave their narrative with practical and helpful advice, listeners learn about dealing with Alzheimer's day-to-day challenges: the family realities and tensions, ways of coping, coming research that may tip the scale, as well as lessons learned along the way.
At its heart, Before I Forget is a love story illuminating a love of family, life, and hope.
©2016 B. Smith and Dan Gasby (P)2016 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"...An enduring love story." (Publisher's Weekly)
"A brave and important story, told with candor, love and useful information. Before I Forget offers a real glimpse into what Alzheimer’s actually looks like in a loved one, and sheds a hopeful light on why this disease needs much more research, funding, and attention." (Kimberly Williams-Paisley, actor and author of Where the Light Gets In)
"What an amazing couple and what an amazing book! It is medically and scientifically accurate, and yet places this devastating disease in the context of a beautiful and intimate relationship. We must do better as a community, in our families and within our government in responding to this disease. African-Americans are especially called upon to get more involved in the research as this disease disproportionately impacts us." (Dr. David Satcher, former surgeon general of the United States)
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Story
The noted research psychiatrist explores how life's disappointments and difficulties provide us with the lessons we need to become better, bigger, and more resilient human beings. Adversity is an irreducible fact of life. Although we can and should learn from all experiences, both positive and negative best-selling author Dr. Norman E. Rosenthal believes that adversity is by far the best teacher most of us will ever encounter.
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Book ruined by the narrator
- By David C. on 12-07-22
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The Naked Lady Who Stood on Her Head
- A Psychiatrist's Stories of His Most Bizarre Cases
- By: Gary Small M.D., Gigi Vorgan
- Narrated by: Marc Cashman
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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True stories are more bizarre than any fiction, and Dr. Gary Small knows this best. After 30 distinguished years of psychiatry and groundbreaking research on the human brain, Dr. Small has seen it all - now he is ready to open his office doors for the first time and tell all about the most mysterious, intriguing, and bizarre patients of his career. The Naked Lady Who Stood on Her Head is a spellbinding record of the doctor's most bewildering cases.
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90% Useless Information
- By Think B4 Eating on 10-01-10
By: Gary Small M.D., and others
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Changing the Way We Die
- Compassionate End-of-Life Care and the Hospice Movement
- By: Sheila Himmel, Fran Smith
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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There’s a quiet revolution happening in the way we die. More than 1.5 million Americans a year die in hospice care - nearly 44 percent of all deaths - and a vast industry has sprung up to meet the growing demand. Once viewed as a New Age indulgence, hospice is now a $14 billion business and one of the most successful segments in health care. Changing the Way We Die, by award-winning journalists Fran Smith and Sheila Himmel, is the first book to take a broad, penetrating look at the hospice landscape.
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Sadly, not very engaging.
- By Debra S. Long on 06-16-18
By: Sheila Himmel, and others
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Because I Come from a Crazy Family
- The Making of a Psychiatrist
- By: Edward M. Hallowell
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 13 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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When Edward M. Hallowell was 11, a voice out of nowhere told him he should become a psychiatrist. A mental health professional of the time would have called this psychosis. But young Edward (Ned) took it in stride, despite not quite knowing what "psychiatrist" meant. With a psychotic father, an alcoholic mother, an abusive stepfather, and two so-called learning disabilities of his own, Ned was accustomed to unpredictable behaviour from those around him and to a mind he felt he couldn't always control.
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Love and connection permeates through this book!
- By Steve Steinmetz on 06-29-18
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Truth Doesn't Have a Side
- My Alarming Discovery About the Danger of Contact Sports
- By: Dr. Bennet Omalu, Mark Tabb, Will Smith - foreword
- Narrated by: Ron Butler
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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One day in 2002 the 50-year old body of former Pittsburgh Steeler and hall of famer Mike Webster was laid on a cold table in front of pathologist Dr. Bennet Omalu. Webster's body looked to Omalu like the body of a much older man, and the circumstances of his behavior prior to his death were clouded in mystery. But when Omalu cut into Webster's brain, it appeared to be normal. Something didn't add up.
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Truly Enlightening
- By Marie on 01-31-20
By: Dr. Bennet Omalu, and others
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Brainstorm
- Detective Stories from the World of Neurology
- By: Suzanne O'Sullivan
- Narrated by: Christine Williams
- Length: 8 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Brainstorm follows the stories of people whose medical diagnoses are so strange even their doctor struggles to know how to solve them. A man who sees cartoon characters running across the room; a girl whose world suddenly seems completely distorted, as though she were Alice in Wonderland; another who transforms into a ragdoll whenever she even thinks about moving. The brain is the most complex structure in the universe. Neurologists must puzzle out life-changing diagnoses from the tiniest of clues, the ultimate medical detective work.
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Not As Compelling...
- By Douglas on 11-08-18
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The Woman Who Fooled the World
- By: Beau Donelly, Nick Toscano
- Narrated by: James Saunders
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Belle Gibson convinced the world she had healed herself from terminal brain cancer with a healthy diet. She built a global business based upon her claims. There was just one problem: she'd never had cancer. In 2015, journalists uncovered the truth: this hero of the wellness world, with over 200,000 followers, international book deals and a best-selling smartphone app, was a fraud.
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Must listen
- By NutriGal on 02-10-18
By: Beau Donelly, and others
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A Bittersweet Season
- Caring for Our Aging Parents - And Ourselves
- By: Jane Gross
- Narrated by: Kate Reading
- Length: 15 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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In telling the intimate story of caring for her aged and ailing mother, Jane Gross offers indispensable, and often surprising, advice for the rapidly increasing number of adult children responsible for aging parents. Gross deftly weaves the specifics of her personal experience with a comprehensive resource for effectively managing the lives of one's own parents while keeping sanity and strength intact.
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Exceptional, thought-provoking, liberating!
- By Anne on 08-10-11
By: Jane Gross
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Your Heart, My Hands
- An Immigrant's Remarkable Journey to Become One of America's Preeminent Cardiac Surgeons
- By: Arun K. Singh MD, John Hanc - contributor, Delos Cosgrove MD - foreword
- Narrated by: Shridhar Solanki
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Leaving a life marked by crippling setbacks and his father's doubt, in 1967 a 20-something doctor from India arrived in America with only five dollars and the desire to claim his American dream. Faced with an entirely new culture, racism, and the lasting effects of disabling childhood injuries, through hard work and perseverance he overcame all odds. Now having performed over 15,000 open-heart surgeries, more than nearly every surgeon in history, Dr. Singh reflects on his most memorable patients and his incredible personal life.
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Remarkable!
- By Stacey on 12-01-22
By: Arun K. Singh MD, and others
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Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them)
- A Practical Perspective on Death and Dying
- By: Sallie Tisdale
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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You get ready to die the way you get ready for a trip. Start by realizing you don't know the way. Listen to a few travel guides. Study the language, look at maps, gather equipment. Let yourself imagine what it will be like. Pack your bags. This book is one of those travel guides - a guide to preparing for your own death and the deaths of people close to you. The fact of death is hard to believe. Sallie Tisdale explores our fears and all the ways death and talking about death make us uncomfortable - but she also explores its intimacies and joys.
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I thought I had more time...
- By Alyssa on 09-09-19
By: Sallie Tisdale
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The Family Gene
- A Mission to Turn My Deadly Inheritance into a Hopeful Future
- By: Joselin Linder
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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When Joselin Linder was in her 20s, her legs started to swell. She thought little of it until her health problems started to compound in ways that baffled her doctors. Diagnosed with extreme liver blockage and dangerous levels of lymph fluid, Joselin turned to the most similar case she could think of - her father's.
By: Joselin Linder
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This Close to Happy
- A Reckoning with Depression
- By: Daphne Merkin
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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This Close to Happy is the rare, vividly personal account of what it feels like to suffer from clinical depression, written from a woman's perspective and informed by an acute understanding of the implications of this disease over a lifetime. Taking off from essays on depression she has written for The New Yorker and The New York Times Magazine, Daphne Merkin casts her eye back to her beginnings to try to sort out the root causes of her affliction.
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I should be the last person to recommend this book
- By Mariaposa on 03-04-17
By: Daphne Merkin
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The Boy Who Loved Too Much
- A True Story of Pathological Friendliness
- By: Jennifer Latson
- Narrated by: Heather Auden
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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What would it be like to see everyone as a friend? Twelve-year-old Eli D'Angelo has a genetic disorder that obliterates social inhibitions, making him irrepressibly friendly, indiscriminately trusting, and unconditionally loving toward everyone he meets. It also makes him enormously vulnerable. Eli lacks the innate skepticism that will help his peers navigate adolescence more safely - and vastly more successfully.
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Williams Syndrome
- By Sharlotte on 09-20-19
By: Jennifer Latson
What listeners say about Before I Forget
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Sharlotte
- 05-15-17
Excellent!
This was the most comprehensive personal account on Alzheimer's I've read. My parent recently died from dementia and a good portion of this book contained information I learned along the way--the hard way. This is an important book for everyone. Brain disease hits hard in most families at an alarming rate with our population living longer than ever before. What you need to know is in this book--you won't need to painstakingly search for it like I did. I would just add that having tried all the currently available drugs, none made any difference whatsoever, despite the claims of advertisements you see everywhere. Please support ongoing studies and research.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Gillian
- 01-29-16
Poignant Memoir, Stirring Call to Action
This is part love story, part call to action, part information for the un- or newly initiated. And it's all good. Parts of it get very technical, but it's all interesting, and of course it's evened out and Alzheimer's is given its face by showing what it's doing to B and Dan. They are unstintingly open with their lives, and it's heartbreaking.
It is also, however, galling at times. Dan, and he is honest about it, picks a lot of battles that are ridiculous. How about not having how you feel about the entirety of your day hinge upon whether your wife can find her purse easily or not? Or maybe have a lot of purses everywhere? I don't know, I know it's hard; we have it now in our family too, and you have to be creative and oh so resilient. And you have to, as Dan says, over and over, "remind yourself that you can't reason with someone who has lost the ability to reason."
Now where Dan HAS picked a battle and is truly, truly awesome, is in the fight to raise awareness of and money for research for Alzheimer's. That man has some spectacular ideas, and really, he has conviction to no end.
In this memoir, only the narration falters a bit, as Dan reads his own words, bit by bit, haltingly at times, but when he's casual, he's golden. And when B. speaks, you just love her. You just want the best for her, and you just hate the disease.
This is a spectacular book, a bit technical, but filled with warmth, tears, and laughter too.
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9 people found this helpful
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- Bryan Barnhill
- 06-03-16
Very, very, very informative .
I loved the story. As an African American, I chose to share this book to share with my book club. We all can think of someone we know and or love with the disease. Alzheimer's affects us more than we realize. I hope to help bring more awareness to Alzheimer's Disease and the many causal factors. I'm also hoping generate more interest and participation in clinical trials. Thank you for sharing your story. MB.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Sandra
- 03-23-16
Unforgettable
Thoroughly enjoyed this personal, heartfelt, informative memoir of our much loved role model and family's continuing journey.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Katisha
- 06-01-23
Comforting & educational
This book is just what I needed as my husband & I embark upon this journey. There is a wealth of information as to what to expect as your loved one’s life changes. I appreciated the medical info as well as tips of how to cope as a caregiver. It also got us to participate in a new trial as an African-American. I’m definitely going to help educate others. Thank you!!
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- Firefly
- 05-11-16
Learned so much!
Touching story about how dementia progresses. Lots of advice on how to cope as the caregiver. In a sense a love story.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Joy Letang
- 11-17-19
Very Good Book
An insight into the glimpse of a couple struggling with Alzheimers disease such a hard disease to deal with hoping they will find a cure soon no one should have to live like an Alzheimers patients t and their caregivers.
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- Teri
- 01-29-16
Brave story
eye opener, family story, treatment facts, hopeful, tender moments between real people and not perfect ones. thank you for letting us into your home.
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- Beverly Rouse
- 11-03-17
The Caregivers Point of View
I read this because it was a book club read. I am glad I did. It is a very open and honest view of the challenge of dealing with early onset Alzheimers. Dan Gatsby provides a very open and heartbreaking story of the journey of identifying B. Smith's alzheimers diagnosis and the challenge of being the caregiver for someone you love. The narration by B. Smith gives you the perspective from the person who has the disease. Must read for anyone affected by this disease.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Nicole
- 02-04-19
We can't fix what we don't face.
I listened because... with all of the controversy I wanted to get a clearer understanding. I was definitely enlightened! Important lesson...be very, very slow to judge the journey of others. The book was thought provoking ...and enlightening on a number of levels. Narration left a little to be desired... but overall I highly recommend it!
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1 person found this helpful