Beowulf for Cretins
A Love Story
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Narrated by:
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Christine Williams
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By:
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Ann McMan
About this listen
2019 LAMMIE Award Winner: Best Lesbian Romance!
English professor and aspiring novelist Grace Warner spends her days teaching four sections of Beowulf for Cretins to bored and disinterested students at one of New England's “hidden ivy” colleges. Not long after she is dumped by her longtime girlfriend, Grace meets the engaging and mysterious Abbie on a cross-country flight. Sparks fly on and off the plane as the two strangers give in to one night of reckless passion with no strings attached and no contact information exchanged.
Back home at St. Albans, the college rocks Grace's world when it announces the appointment of a new president, the first woman in its 165-year history. Cue Abbie - and cue Grace's collision course with a neurotic dog named Grendel, a fractious rival for tenure, and a woman called Ochre, in what very well might be Grace's last real shot at happiness.
This full-length novel reimagines and expands on the short story “Falling from Grace”, which was originally published in the award-winning story collection Sidecar, by Ann McMan.
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Graciela "Ace" Jones is mad-mad at her best friend Lilly who cancels their annual trip to Panama City for mysterious reasons; at her boss Catherine for "riding her ass like a fat lady on a Rascal scooter;" at her friend Chloe's abusive husband; and especially at Mason McKenzie, the love of her life, who has shown up with a marriage proposal three years too late.
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What a fun read.
- By Donna on 04-13-12
By: Stephanie McAfee
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The Wrong Sister
- By: T. E. Woods
- Narrated by: Angela Dawe
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
From behind the wheel of her car, Tess Kincaid glimpses a woman walking down a Madison, Wisconsin, street. They've never met, but Tess sees the same features every time she looks in the mirror. Tess introduces herself and discovers that she and her doppelganger, Mimi, have more than appearance in common. They even share the same birthday. Mimi - confident and outgoing where Tess is understated and shy - is convinced they're twins, separated shortly after birth. When a body is discovered in a local marsh, Tess is entangled in a search for the truth....
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Nothing like anything T E Woods has written B4!!!
- By shelley on 03-01-18
By: T. E. Woods
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Barefoot Season
- A Blackberry Island Novel, Book 1
- By: Susan Mallery
- Narrated by: Sarah Grace
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Michelle Sanderson may appear to be a strong, independent woman, but on the inside, she’s still the wounded girl who fled home years ago. A young army vet, Michelle returns to the quaint Blackberry Island Inn to claim her inheritance and recover from the perils of war. Instead, she finds the owner’s suite occupied by the last person she wants to see. Carly Williams and Michelle were once inseparable, until a shocking betrayal destroyed their friendship. And now Carly is implicated in the financial disaster lurking behind the inn’s cheerful veneer.
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Narrator Ruins It
- By Gale Ann on 03-25-13
By: Susan Mallery
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Ready to Run
- I Do, I Don’t, Book 1
- By: Lauren Layne
- Narrated by: Amy Melissa Bentley
- Length: 6 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Jordan Carpenter thinks she's finally found the perfect candidate for Jilted, a new dating show about runaway grooms: firefighter Luke Elliott, a known player who's left not one but three brides at the altar. She ends up on a flight to Montana to recruit him in person. It's not Manhattan, but at least the locals in Lucky Hollow seem friendly...except for Luke, who's more intense - and way hotter - than the slick womanizer Jordan expected. Eager to put the past behind him, Luke has zero intention of following this gorgeous, fast-talking city girl back to New York.
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I Fought to Finish This, Took Me Days!
- By Erica Walker on 06-27-22
By: Lauren Layne
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Easy
- Contours of the Heart, Book 1
- By: Tammara Webber
- Narrated by: Tara Sands
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A girl who believes trust can be misplaced, promises are made to be broken, and loyalty is an illusion. A boy who believes truth is relative, lies can mask unbearable pain, and guilt is eternal. Will what they find in each other validate their conclusions, or disprove them all?
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Easy and Enjoyable Listen
- By Katherine on 02-18-13
By: Tammara Webber
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Save Me
- By: Kristyn Kusek Lewis
- Narrated by: Nan McNamara
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Daphne Mitchell has always believed in cause and effect, right and wrong, good and bad. The good: her dream job as a doctor; Owen, her childhood sweetheart and now husband; the beautiful farmhouse they're restoring together. In fact most of her life has been good - until the day Owen comes home early from work to tell her he's fallen head over heels for someone else.
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story
- By ngoza on 08-10-15
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Coming Home
- Chesapeake Diaries Series #1
- By: Mariah Stewart
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 8 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the wake of his wife's murder, agent Grady Shields turned his back on the FBI - and everything else-to retreat into the vast solitude of Montana, grieve for his lost love, and forget the world. But after years in seclusion, his sister's wedding draws him to St. Dennis, a peaceful town on the Chesapeake Bay. Though he swears he isn't interested in finding love again, Grady can't ignore the mutual sparks that fly when he meets Vanessa Keaton.
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Graet New Series from Audible
- By casey on 08-25-12
By: Mariah Stewart
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Temporary
- By: Sarah Mayberry, Sarina Bowen
- Narrated by: Shane East, Emma Wilder
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The most beautiful man I've ever seen is the same one who can ruin everything. The first time I lay eyes on Callan Walker, I know he'll be trouble. With his smug grin, hot Aussie accent, and thousand-dollar shoes, he's just the kind of rich guy who always gets what he wants. And he wants two things: a night of sin, and my cooperation as he outmaneuvers his powerful mother to take control of his uncle's estate. I can't afford either one. I'm the only thing standing between my little sister and the foster care system.
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Was tired of "She's poor. He's rich. Sex."
- By Amazon Customer on 06-14-18
By: Sarah Mayberry, and others
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By Any Other Name
- By: Lauren Kate
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
What she doesn't know about love could fill a book. With a successful career as a romance editor, and an engagement to a man who checks off all ninety-nine boxes on her carefully curated list, Lanie's more than good. She's killing it. Then she’s given the opportunity of a lifetime: to work with world-renowned author and her biggest inspiration in love and life—the Noa Callaway.
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Cute
- By Kenz on 12-07-22
By: Lauren Kate
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Queen Bee of Mimosa Branch
- By: Haywood Smith
- Narrated by: Anne Gartlan
- Length: 14 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Southern housewife Linwood Breedlove Scott was happily content in her comfortable 30-year marriage, but when her husband cleans out their bank accounts and runs off with a stripper, her life takes a hilarious, yet touching, right turn into reality. With no place to go but home, she's forced back to her eccentric family she escaped by marrying at 19. But despite her newly dependent situation, Lin begins to stand on her own two feet and wake up to the joys - and perils - of life as a single woman.
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Haywood Smith is royal with this book!
- By Dave on 12-09-12
By: Haywood Smith
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The Never Never Sisters
- By: L. Alison Heller
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Marriage counselor Paige Reinhardt is counting down the days to summer, eager to reconnect with her workaholic husband at their cozy rental cottage in the Hamptons. But soon a mysterious crisis at Dave's work ruins their getaway plans. Paige is still figuring out how to handle the unexplained chill in her marriage when her troubled sister suddenly returns after a two-decade silence. Now, instead of enjoying the lazy summer days along the ocean, Paige is navigating the rocky waters of a forgotten bond with her sister in the sweltering city heat.
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Julia Whelan makes it worth the credit.
- By Ellen Zelda on 09-15-15
By: L. Alison Heller
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Weekend Warriors
- Sisterhood, Book 1
- By: Fern Michaels
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
On the surface, these seven women are as different as can be - but each has had her share of bad luck, from cheating husbands to sexist colleagues to a legal system that often doesn't do its job. Now, drawn together by tragedy, they're forging a bond that will help them right the wrongs committed against them and discover an inner strength they didn't know they had. The Sisterhood is learning that when bad things happen, you can roll over and play dead...or you can get up fighting...
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Weekend Warriors
- By Ms Mare on 04-04-09
By: Fern Michaels
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Books Can Be Deceiving
- By: Jenn McKinlay
- Narrated by: Allyson Ryan
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Lindsey is getting into her groove as the director of the Briar Creek Public Library when a New York editor visits town, creating quite a buzz. Lindsey's friend Beth wants to sell the editor her children's book, but Beth's boyfriend, a famous author, gets in the way. When they go to confront him, he's found murdered - and Beth is the prime suspect. Lindsey has to act fast - before they throw the book at the wrong person.
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Loved it
- By Beatrice on 09-13-15
By: Jenn McKinlay
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Excellent!
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Librarian Syd Murphy flees the carnage of a failed marriage by accepting an 18-month position in Jericho - a small town in the Appalachian Mountains of Virginia. Her plans to hide out and heal her wounds fall by the wayside as she gets drawn into the daily lives of the quirky locals. She becomes fast friends with Maddie Stevenson, the enigmatic physician who has returned to the backcountry community to take over her late father's medical practice.
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As Good As Advertised
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Annalise Finch is content - she has a job she enjoys, lives close to her family and friends, and spends most Wednesday nights drinking wine with her grandma. According to her grandma, though, she has lost her sparkle, and the only solution is to join a site to hook up with other women. The only problem (aside from a meddling grandma with a dirty mind) is Annalise doesn’t like women. At least, that’s what she always thought, but when she meets Brinley Adams, she starts to question everything.
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Excellent book for a baby lesbian
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In the Shadow of the Past
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In the shadowy world of 1940s New York City, a sultry spy falls for the one woman she shouldn't. When reporter Jenny Ryan’s father is murdered, her burning need for justice drives her to take on a ruthless tycoon. But her plan goes awry when she falls for the criminal’s alluring mistress, OSS agent Kathryn Hammond. Kathryn is more than just a popular nightclub singer with a glamorous façade. She’s an undercover spy, trapped stateside in a dead-end assignment while the war rages on in Europe.
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Hurry with part 2 & 3!!!
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Her Royal Happiness
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When tabloid darling Princess Alice, the first out member of the British royal family, meets an opinionated single mother, the encounter goes viral. It seems the anti-monarchist education specialist Sara has a view on all things and doesn't mind sharing. So when Alice later has to ask Sara to help diagnose her young nephew's learning difficulties, it's awkward. At least until they discover how they click together. With the press sniffing around and Alice desperate to protect her nephew's privacy, they agree to claim they're dating. Then their fake dates start to feel like much more.
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Well written and great narrator, but not for me
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Excellent!
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When sculptor and author Barb Davis is given an NEA grant to pair original feminist sculptures with searing first-person essays on transitions in women's lives, she organizes a two-week writing retreat with 12 of the best, brightest, and most notorious lesbian authors in the business. But in between regularly scheduled happy hours and writing sessions, the women enter a tournament bass fishing competition, receive life coaching from a wise-cracking fish named Phoebe, and uncover a subterranean world of secrets.
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Librarian Syd Murphy flees the carnage of a failed marriage by accepting an 18-month position in Jericho - a small town in the Appalachian Mountains of Virginia. Her plans to hide out and heal her wounds fall by the wayside as she gets drawn into the daily lives of the quirky locals. She becomes fast friends with Maddie Stevenson, the enigmatic physician who has returned to the backcountry community to take over her late father's medical practice.
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As Good As Advertised
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Annalise Finch is content - she has a job she enjoys, lives close to her family and friends, and spends most Wednesday nights drinking wine with her grandma. According to her grandma, though, she has lost her sparkle, and the only solution is to join a site to hook up with other women. The only problem (aside from a meddling grandma with a dirty mind) is Annalise doesn’t like women. At least, that’s what she always thought, but when she meets Brinley Adams, she starts to question everything.
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Excellent book for a baby lesbian
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By: Erica Lee
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In the Shadow of the Past
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In the shadowy world of 1940s New York City, a sultry spy falls for the one woman she shouldn't. When reporter Jenny Ryan’s father is murdered, her burning need for justice drives her to take on a ruthless tycoon. But her plan goes awry when she falls for the criminal’s alluring mistress, OSS agent Kathryn Hammond. Kathryn is more than just a popular nightclub singer with a glamorous façade. She’s an undercover spy, trapped stateside in a dead-end assignment while the war rages on in Europe.
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Hurry with part 2 & 3!!!
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Well written and great narrator, but not for me
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One sunny Spring morning, EJ's simple life is turned upside down when the town's master gardener unceremoniously hands her a stack of handwritten letters that have all been addressed to a nonexistent person at the garden. This simple act sets in motion a chain of events that will lead EJ on a life-altering quest to uncover the identity of the mysterious letter writer―and into a surprising head-on confrontation with the harsh realities of the racial injustice that is as deeply rooted in the life of her community as the ancient herbs cultivated in the Moravian garden.
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Perfection
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From the moment I learned my father was the head of the biggest crime family in Boston, I vowed I would never have anything to do with his “business.” Until Rowan. When our eyes locked for the first time across that crowded room, her emerald eyes lit an unstoppable fire in me. And when she showed me the warm heart she’s hidden from the world, I knew I couldn’t live without her. But there’s a twisted war between our rival families. Her father is taking out my loved ones like it’s a sport.
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Great narration that bring the characters to life!
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Don't Call Me Hero
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Overall
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It’s been over a year since Cassidy Miller retired from the United States Marine Corps, but try telling that to her nightmares. She knew that coming back after eight years in a war zone wouldn’t be easy, but she’d underestimated the real difficulties of transitioning back to civilian life. War is hell, but the aftermath is endless. Looking for a fresh start, she’s left her friends and career in Minneapolis to be a police officer in northern Minnesota. It’s in the tiny town of Embarrass where she learns more about Julia Desjardin.
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I love the books but the narration...
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The Brutal Truth
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Australian crime reporter Maddie Grey is out of her depth in New York, miserable, and secretly drawn to her powerful, twice-married media mogul boss, Elena Bartell, who eats failing newspapers for breakfast. As work takes them to Australia, Maddie is goaded into a brief, seemingly harmless bet with her enigmatic boss - where they have to tell the complete truth to each other. It backfires catastrophically.
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Very surprising!
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Chance Encounters
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Overall
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Ally Brenner, a driven project manager from Vancouver, boards a flight to Amsterdam, focused solely on landing a career-changing contract. Little does she know that her carefully planned world is about to be turned upside down by Candice Blackwater, a charismatic and successful investor. Candice, intrigued by Ally's infectious laughter and beauty, orchestrates a chance encounter that sets in motion a series of events neither of them could have predicted. As Candice's charm chips away at Ally's defenses, the two navigate a turbulent journey of desire and self-discovery.
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Was OK
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By: Lise Gold
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Crossing the Line
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Newly appointed judge Jordan Blake is done with romance. But on a rare night out, she becomes captivated by Sierra, a woman half her age. Unable to resist her charms, the usually cautious Jordan gives in to a reckless night of passion. Law student Sierra Fuentes doesn't expect to see Jordan again. Pleasantly surprised when she ends up her intern, Sierra sees an opportunity to continue their steamy affair. If only Jordan would stop caring about the rules. With Sierra in her chambers, Jordan vows to keep their relationship strictly professional... even if she can't stop thinking about that night
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Fell Flat
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By: J.J. Arias
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Under the Stars with You
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Six months ago, Ty Sutherland dropped out of an online sex chat group. It was anonymous. No one knew their real identity. And it was a space where they could finally be themselves. Unfortunately, it was also a space where they fell in love with a woman whose name they promised to forget. Leslie Brandt would like to forget the online sex chat group she joined on a whim. In real life, she's a successful realtor with a professional image to maintain. She'd never want anyone to know the kinky things she's fantasized about—even if maybe she wishes some of those things could actually happen.
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Looking for non-binary? Looking for b/f?
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Dust
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When it comes to finding dirt, Evan Reed is the best in the business. She’s a “dust-buster” - a paid operative hired by political campaigns to vet candidates for national office. She’s also a foulmouthed and cranky ex-Catholic - attempting to raise a 14-year-old daughter on her own. When she is hired to investigate the background of a squeaky-clean and charismatic junior senator who might just be the next president, the last thing she expects to uncover is a murder.
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If you like Hoosier Daddy...
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Jones
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When six childhood friends get together for their annual girl's weekend at the beach in Port Aransas, none could have believed it would be for the very last time. Nina Evans had been saddled with organizing the weekend each year, pulling five of her oldest friends together for a few nights of fun and reminiscing, the one time a year they saw each other. Each year was much the same—laughter, dancing, and lots of drinking. This time was no different. That is, until Jones walked out of the dance club with a stranger.
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So good..
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The Fixer
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A naïve activist is hired by a corporate villain but doesn't realize it. Cue one awkward farce, a twisty puzzle, and the slowest of slow burns in this opposites-attract, ice queen romance. Nine years ago, aloof, icy Michelle Hastings chose career over love. She's now living with that choice as she rules a secret corporation catering to the rich and powerful. Enter Eden Lawless. The guileless activist finds it a bit weird being employed by a mystery organization to bring down a corrupt mayor. But, hey, she's up for a challenge. Much harder is getting her beautiful new boss out of her head.
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Panda invasion! All the stars!
- By Irene on 12-14-23
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The Black Bird of Chernobyl
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Story
Everything about Lilah Stohler is dark: her clothes, her mood, and her outlook on life and death. That last part is important because Lilah’s father has just retired and left her in charge of Stohler’s Funeral Home. But Abel Stohler knows his daughter’s comfort level rests “downstairs”, so he hires one Sparkle Lee Sink to help Lilah manage the living part of the business of death. Sparkle is everything that Lilah isn’t—an empathetic marketing whiz who is a true people person.
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Clever Story!
- By CameeW on 09-10-24
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Something to Talk About
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Overall
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Performance
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Hollywood powerhouse Jo is photographed making her assistant Emma laugh on the red carpet, and just like that, the tabloids declare them a couple. The so-called scandal couldn't come at a worse time - threatening Emma's promotion and Jo's new movie. As the gossip spreads, it starts to affect all areas of their lives. Paparazzi are following them outside the office, coworkers are treating them differently, and a "source" is feeding information to the media. But their only comment is “no comment”.
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Not My Cup of Tea
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By: Meryl Wilsner
What listeners say about Beowulf for Cretins
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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- Idalys
- 08-03-18
Very sweet
Sweet, romantic and funny at times. Also, super PG. The reviews claiming passionate and sensual are a little misleading. The author skips love scenes entirely. They don’t even wake up next to each other. A few kisses and then skips to the next day every time. Still enjoyed the book, but if you were hoping for at least little steaminess you won’t find it here.
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Overall
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Story
- Janie
- 07-22-18
For Cretins!
I love all of Ann McMan’s books. She brings genuineness to all of her quirky characters! I almost started listening to this again as soon as I finished it. As in The Jericho series you will love the characters of St. Albans! I highly recommend this book. I would have given it 10 stars if I could. Christine Williams brings truth to all characters and is spot on!
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- Lauren M. Herrick
- 10-20-20
Excellent
I loved everything about this, from the story to the narration. A must listen for Lesfic fans, and one of the best from Ann McMan
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- JM
- 08-02-18
I loved both the story & the narrator
The dialogue was witty. The story was a bit slow but far from boring. Main characters & side characters are likable. The narrator Christine did a great job!
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- Becca
- 01-04-22
Extremely Entertaining!
I laughed out loud many times, loved the character development and would highly recommend!!
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- H D.
- 07-22-18
Wonderful book
Another fantastic book by Ann MaMan! Christine Williams delivery of the narration is again icing on the cake! I strongly recommend all of the books written by MaMan and performed by Williams. The delivery of the dry wit and emotions is beautifully done.
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- Nikkol
- 01-11-19
Fun Story
Christine Williams could read the want ads and I would listen for hours! Ann McMan never disappoints and the narration of course was stellar.
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- Kelli M
- 08-01-18
Another Winner!
I don't know how she does it but, I hope Ann Mcman never stops writing. I have read all her books or listened to them on Audible and have never been disappointed. I actually read this one first and found out it was on Audible and couldn't resist getting it , especially having a wonderful Narrator in Michelle Williams....it was wonderful and I am impatiently waiting for her next book. Just get it....it's a no brainer!
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- Melisa
- 11-28-20
Romance & a lot of fun!
This was such a fun, witty romance. Ann McMan writes some of the most entertaining dialogue I’ve ever read. You can’t go wrong with this one.
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- liz
- 01-23-19
Favorite.
My favorite Ann McMan/Christine Williams combo and my story of comfort and peace when ever I need it. I wish there was more of it.
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