
Bitter Is the New Black
Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office
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Narrated by:
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Jamie Heinlein
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By:
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Jen Lancaster
About this listen
This is the smart-mouthed, soul-searching story of a woman trying to figure out what happens next when she's gone from six figures to unemployment checks and she stops to reconsider some of the less-than-rosy attitudes and values she thought she'd never have to answer for when times were good. Filled with caustic wit and unusual insight, it's a rollicking listen as speedy and unpredictable as the trajectory of a burst balloon.
©2006 Jen Lancaster (P)2009 PenguinListeners also enjoyed...
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Such a Pretty Fat
- One Narcissist's Quest to Discover If Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, Or Why Pi e Is Not the Answer
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jamie Heinlein
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
-
Story
To whom the fat rolls...I'm tired of books where a self-loathing heroine is teased to the point where she starves herself skinny in hopes of a fabulous new life. And I hate the message that women can't possibly be happy until we all fit into our skinny jeans. I don't find these stories uplifting; they make me want to hug these women and take them out for fizzy champagne drinks and cheesecake and explain to them that until they figure out their insides, their outsides don't matter.
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Hilarious Commentary on Weight Loss!
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
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- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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Welcome to the United States of Anxiety
- Observations from a Reforming Neurotic
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
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Jen Lancaster is here to take a hard look at our elevating anxieties, and with self-deprecating wit and levelheaded wisdom, she charts a path out of the quagmire that keeps us frightened of the future and ashamed of our imperfectly perfect human lives. Take a deep breath, and her advice, and you just might get through a holiday dinner without wanting to disown your uncle.
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Not relatable
- By shelly on 11-03-20
By: Jen Lancaster
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Pretty in Plaid
- By: Jen Lancaster
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- Length: 7 hrs and 57 mins
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In Pretty in Plaid, Jen Lancaster reveals how she developed the hubris that perpetually gets her into trouble. Using fashion icons of her youth to tell her hilarious and insightful stories, readers will meet the girl she used to be. Jen Lancaster was a badge-hungry Junior Girl Scout with a knack for extortion, an aspiring sorority girl who didn't know her Coach from her Louis Vuitton, and a budding executive who found herself bewildered by her first encounter with a fax machine.
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She Always Makes Me Laugh
- By Debra Garfinkle on 04-01-13
By: Jen Lancaster
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The Woman in Me
- By: Britney Spears
- Narrated by: Michelle Williams, Britney Spears - introduction
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
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Story
In June 2021, the whole world was listening as Britney Spears spoke in open court. The impact of sharing her voice—her truth—was undeniable, and it changed the course of her life and the lives of countless others. The Woman in Me reveals for the first time her incredible journey—and the strength at the core of one of the greatest performers in pop music history. Written with remarkable candor and humor, Spears’s groundbreaking book illuminates the enduring power of music and love—and the importance of a woman telling her own story, on her own terms, at last.
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Lack of transparency
- By Lori K on 10-31-23
By: Britney Spears
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I Regret Nothing
- A Memoir
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all - sometimes with disastrous results...Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is - yikes! - middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day.
-
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The Smug Is Strong With This One
- By T. Filowitz on 05-24-15
By: Jen Lancaster
-
Such a Pretty Fat
- One Narcissist's Quest to Discover If Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, Or Why Pi e Is Not the Answer
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jamie Heinlein
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
To whom the fat rolls...I'm tired of books where a self-loathing heroine is teased to the point where she starves herself skinny in hopes of a fabulous new life. And I hate the message that women can't possibly be happy until we all fit into our skinny jeans. I don't find these stories uplifting; they make me want to hug these women and take them out for fizzy champagne drinks and cheesecake and explain to them that until they figure out their insides, their outsides don't matter.
-
-
Hilarious Commentary on Weight Loss!
- By Sara on 09-21-09
By: Jen Lancaster
-
Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
-
-
self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
-
Welcome to the United States of Anxiety
- Observations from a Reforming Neurotic
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jen Lancaster is here to take a hard look at our elevating anxieties, and with self-deprecating wit and levelheaded wisdom, she charts a path out of the quagmire that keeps us frightened of the future and ashamed of our imperfectly perfect human lives. Take a deep breath, and her advice, and you just might get through a holiday dinner without wanting to disown your uncle.
-
-
Not relatable
- By shelly on 11-03-20
By: Jen Lancaster
-
Pretty in Plaid
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- Narrated by: Jamie Heinlein
- Length: 7 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
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In Pretty in Plaid, Jen Lancaster reveals how she developed the hubris that perpetually gets her into trouble. Using fashion icons of her youth to tell her hilarious and insightful stories, readers will meet the girl she used to be. Jen Lancaster was a badge-hungry Junior Girl Scout with a knack for extortion, an aspiring sorority girl who didn't know her Coach from her Louis Vuitton, and a budding executive who found herself bewildered by her first encounter with a fax machine.
-
-
She Always Makes Me Laugh
- By Debra Garfinkle on 04-01-13
By: Jen Lancaster
-
The Woman in Me
- By: Britney Spears
- Narrated by: Michelle Williams, Britney Spears - introduction
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In June 2021, the whole world was listening as Britney Spears spoke in open court. The impact of sharing her voice—her truth—was undeniable, and it changed the course of her life and the lives of countless others. The Woman in Me reveals for the first time her incredible journey—and the strength at the core of one of the greatest performers in pop music history. Written with remarkable candor and humor, Spears’s groundbreaking book illuminates the enduring power of music and love—and the importance of a woman telling her own story, on her own terms, at last.
-
-
Lack of transparency
- By Lori K on 10-31-23
By: Britney Spears
-
I Regret Nothing
- A Memoir
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all - sometimes with disastrous results...Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is - yikes! - middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day.
-
-
The Smug Is Strong With This One
- By T. Filowitz on 05-24-15
By: Jen Lancaster
-
My Fair Lazy
- One Reality Television Addict's Attempt to Discover If Not Being a Dumb Ass Is t he New Black, or, a Culture-Up Manifesto
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jamie Heinlein
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Readers and listeners have followed Jen Lancaster through job loss, sucky city living, weight loss attempts, and 1980s nostalgia. Now Jen chronicles her efforts to achieve cultural enlightenment, with some hilarious missteps and genuine moments of inspiration along the way. And she does so by any means necessary: reading canonical literature, viewing classic films, attending the opera, researching artisan cheeses, and even enrolling in etiquette classes to improve her social graces.
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Disappointing ... Both Narration and Story
- By Jennifer on 05-06-12
By: Jen Lancaster
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Jeneration X
- One Reluctant Adult's Attempt to Unarrest Her Arrested Development; Or, Why It's Never Too Late for Her Dumb Ass to Learn Why Froot Loops Are Not for Dinner
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Such a Pretty Fat, Jen Lancaster learned how to come to terms with her body. In My Fair Lazy, she expanded her mind. Now, the New York Times best-selling author gives herself - and her generation - a kick in the X, by facing her greatest challenge to date: acting her age. Jen is finally ready to put away childish things (except her Barbie Styling Head, of course) and embrace the investment-making, mortgage-carrying, life insurance-having adult she's become.
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Super Jen Lancaster Fans Be Warned...
- By Amazon Customer on 05-02-12
By: Jen Lancaster
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The Tao of Martha
- My Year of LIVING; Or, Why I'm Never Getting All That Glitter Off of the Dog
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
One would think that with Jen Lancaster’s impressive list of bestselling self-improvement memoirs that she would have it all together by now. One would be wrong. Jen’s still a little rough around the edges. Suffice it to say, she’s no Martha Stewart. And that is exactly why Jen is going to Martha up and live her life according to the advice of America’s overachieving older sister - the woman who turns lemons into lavender-infused lemonade.
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Not as light as previous books, still witty
- By Dogs & Horses on 05-10-15
By: Jen Lancaster
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Housemoms
- A Novel
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Maria McCann, EJ Lavery, Jeremy Carlisle Parker
- Length: 9 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
How fast can charity fundraiser CeCe Barclay’s unimpeachable society life come tumbling down? One minute she’s speaking before Chicago’s glitterati. The next, her financier husband is wanted for embezzlement. Her assets seized and her fall mortifyingly public, CeCe grasps for refuge—and employment—as a sorority housemom at Eli Whitney University, her daughter Hayden’s alma mater.
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Had potential, but fell flat
- By Desiree Paulhamus on 01-04-25
By: Jen Lancaster
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The Best of Enemies
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan, Emily Rankin
- Length: 11 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Bridesmaids meets Big Little Lies in a novel told from the alternating perspectives of two women who define the term frenemies - from New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster. Jacqueline Jordan knows conflict. A fearless journalist, she’s spent the past decade embedded in the world’s hot spots, writing about the fall of nations and the rise of despots. But if you were to inquire about who topped Jack’s enemy list, she’d not hesitate to answer: Kitty Carricoe.
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Unexpected pleasure with engaging dialgoue
- By Anne A. Kennedy on 09-14-15
By: Jen Lancaster
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If You Were Here
- A Novel
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jamie Heinlein
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
The fiction debut of the New York Times best-selling author of My Fair Lazy. Told in the uproariously entertaining voice readers have come to expect from Jen Lancaster, If You Were Here follows Amish-zombie-teen- romance author Mia and her husband Mac (and their pets) through the alternately frustrating, exciting, terrifying - but always funny - process of buying and renovating their first home in the Chicago suburbs that John hughes's movies made famous.
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A Jen Lancaster disappointment
- By Carolyn on 10-28-11
By: Jen Lancaster
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By the Numbers
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Allyson Ryan
- Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Actuary Penny Sinclair has a head for business, and she always makes rational decisions. Knowing that 60 percent of spouses cheat and 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, she wasn't too surprised when her husband had an affair. (That he did so with a woman their daughter's age? Well, that part did sting a bit.) She just made sure she got everything in the divorce, including their lovely old Victorian house. And as soon as her younger daughter has her hipster-fabulous wedding in the backyard, she's trading it in for a condo in downtown Chicago....
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Narrator is bland, slow. Story is good.
- By Dogs & Horses on 07-10-16
By: Jen Lancaster
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Lessons in Chemistry
- A Novel
- By: Bonnie Garmus
- Narrated by: Miranda Raison, Bonnie Garmus, Pandora Sykes
- Length: 11 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Chemist Elizabeth Zott is not your average woman. In fact, Elizabeth Zott would be the first to point out that there is no such thing as an average woman. But it’s the early 1960s and her all-male team at Hastings Research Institute takes a very unscientific view of equality. Except for one: Calvin Evans; the lonely, brilliant, Nobel–prize nominated grudge-holder who falls in love with—of all things—her mind. True chemistry results.
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Making my 3 adult daughters read this
- By Teresa H. on 04-07-22
By: Bonnie Garmus
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Why Not Me?
- By: Mindy Kaling
- Narrated by: Mindy Kaling, Greg Daniels, B. J. Novak
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
-
Story
In Why Not Me?, Kaling shares insightful, deeply personal stories about falling in love at work, seeking new friendships in lonely places, attempting to be the first person in history to lose weight without any behavior modification whatsoever, and believing that you have a place in Hollywood when you’re constantly reminded that no one looks like you.
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sad to even be writing this review :(
- By Brandin on 10-02-15
By: Mindy Kaling
-
Can You Keep a Secret?
- By: Sophie Kinsella
- Narrated by: Kate Reading
- Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Meet Emma Corrigan, a young woman with a huge heart, an irrepressible spirit, and a few little secrets.
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SO MUCH FUN
- By J. Smith on 04-14-04
By: Sophie Kinsella
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11-22-63
- A Novel
- By: Stephen King
- Narrated by: Craig Wasson
- Length: 30 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
On November 22, 1963, three shots rang out in Dallas, President Kennedy died, and the world changed. What if you could change it back? In this brilliantly conceived tour de force, Stephen King - who has absorbed the social, political, and popular culture of his generation more imaginatively and thoroughly than any other writer - takes listeners on an incredible journey into the past and the possibility of altering it.
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I Owe Stephen King An Apology
- By Kelly - Write Well Academy on 04-16-12
By: Stephen King
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Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
- By: Mindy Kaling
- Narrated by: Mindy Kaling, Michael Schur, B. J. Novak
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck–impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence “Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I’ll shut up about it?”
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If you like Mindy, you'll enjoy this listen.
- By Lisa on 01-04-12
By: Mindy Kaling
Critic reviews
“Hilarious.” (InStyle)
“A humorous and inspiring approach to navigating middle age.” (Booklist)
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Once upon a time, Dr. Emily Nichols—the academic kind, not the physician kind—was an eco-crusader who was shot with water cannons, hunted by poachers, and chased by a bulldozer. Now? Action Emily lives in a bland condo with gray walls and teaches disengaged students at a university alongside a risk-allergic boyfriend, asking herself every day: How did I get here?
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The characters were very whiney and too formulated
- By gisele Pope on 05-07-25
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Such a Pretty Fat
- One Narcissist's Quest to Discover If Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, Or Why Pi e Is Not the Answer
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To whom the fat rolls...I'm tired of books where a self-loathing heroine is teased to the point where she starves herself skinny in hopes of a fabulous new life. And I hate the message that women can't possibly be happy until we all fit into our skinny jeans. I don't find these stories uplifting; they make me want to hug these women and take them out for fizzy champagne drinks and cheesecake and explain to them that until they figure out their insides, their outsides don't matter.
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self absorbed
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By: Jen Lancaster
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Bright Lights, Big Ass
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She can be very funny.
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-
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In Pretty in Plaid, Jen Lancaster reveals how she developed the hubris that perpetually gets her into trouble. Using fashion icons of her youth to tell her hilarious and insightful stories, readers will meet the girl she used to be. Jen Lancaster was a badge-hungry Junior Girl Scout with a knack for extortion, an aspiring sorority girl who didn't know her Coach from her Louis Vuitton, and a budding executive who found herself bewildered by her first encounter with a fax machine.
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The characters were very whiney and too formulated
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By: Jen Lancaster
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Such a Pretty Fat
- One Narcissist's Quest to Discover If Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, Or Why Pi e Is Not the Answer
- By: Jen Lancaster
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To whom the fat rolls...I'm tired of books where a self-loathing heroine is teased to the point where she starves herself skinny in hopes of a fabulous new life. And I hate the message that women can't possibly be happy until we all fit into our skinny jeans. I don't find these stories uplifting; they make me want to hug these women and take them out for fizzy champagne drinks and cheesecake and explain to them that until they figure out their insides, their outsides don't matter.
-
-
Hilarious Commentary on Weight Loss!
- By Sara on 09-21-09
By: Jen Lancaster
-
Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
-
-
self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
-
Bright Lights, Big Ass
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She can be very funny.
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Mixed Review
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Funny
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Loved it!
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What made the experience of listening to Bitter Is the New Black the most enjoyable?
Just the story itself , just reminds me of my life... I like the sassiness and how she got through it.What does Jamie Heinlein bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
Her voice and they way she narrated it, is just very entertainingI can totally relate
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Funny and Snarky
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Hilarious
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I'd love to meet Jen!
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Amazing!
Loved it!
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Any additional comments?
I enjoyed listening to this book! The main character evolved into a wonderful mature person by the end!I Enjoyed This Book!
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Better than I'd hoped.
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