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Bless Your Heart
- Narrated by: Stephanie Németh-Parker
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
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Publisher's summary
A crackling mystery-horror novel with big-hearted characters and Southern charm with a bite, Bless Your Heart is a gasp-worthy delight from start to finish from debut author Lindy Ryan.
Rise and shine. The Evans women have some undead to kill.
It’s 1999 in Southeast Texas and the Evans women, owners of the only funeral parlor in town, are keeping steady with…normal business. The dead die, you bury them. End of story. That’s how Ducey Evans has done it for the last eighty years, and her progeny—Lenore the experimenter and Grace, Lenore’s soft-hearted daughter, have run Evans Funeral Parlor for the last fifteen years without drama. Ever since That Godawful Mess that left two bodies in the ground and Grace raising her infant daughter Luna, alone.
But when town gossip Mina Jean Murphy’s body is brought in for a regular burial and she rises from the dead instead, it’s clear that the Strigoi—the original vampire—are back. And the Evans women are the ones who need to fight back to protect their town.
As more folks in town turn up dead and Deputy Roger Taylor begins asking way too many questions, Ducey, Lenore, Grace, and now Luna, must take up their blades and figure out who is behind the Strigoi’s return. As the saying goes, what rises up, must go back down. But as unspoken secrets and revelations spill from the past into the present, the Evans family must face that sometimes, the dead aren’t the only things you want to keep buried.
A crackling mystery-horror novel with big-hearted characters and Southern charm with a bite, Bless Your Heart is a gasp-worthy delight from start to finish.
"A gloriously gruesome, compulsively readable debut that is as grizzly as it is clever and heartfelt."—Rachel Harrison
A Macmillan Audio production from Minotaur Books.
Critic reviews
“Such a brilliant blend of banter and dread. Authored with the confidence of a storyteller who knows every inch, cadence, and beat of their tale. Instantly cinematic. And if you’re anything like me, you’re going to wish you were part of the Evans family, working at the Evans Funeral Home, just so you can spend more time with these people. Lindy Ryan is on fire with this book.” (Josh Malerman, New York Times bestselling author of Bird Box and Daphne)
"The Evans women have arrived and these Southern belle slayers are carving out a spot in our undead hearts. Lindy Ryan has harnessed the charm and horror of a Romero-helmed Steel Magnolias, equal parts Carson McCullers and Bram Stoker. Bless her heart." (Clay McLeod Chapman, author of Ghost Eaters)
"Lindy Ryan is among the most electrifying voices in the horror genre today. Her writing is devastating, beautiful, and horrifying in all the best ways. With her new novel, she's created a group of characters you won't ever forget set in a world that's sure to get under your skin. Bless Your Heart is everything you could want in a horror novel and more. Highly recommended." (Gwendolyn Kiste, Three-time Bram Stoker Awards®-winning author of The Rust Maidens and Reluctant Immortals)
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- By marcie on 05-25-24
By: Wendy Walker
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Oregon
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Ed Harris
- Length: 1 hr and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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It was 1970 in a defeated Rhode Island fishing town. Vietnam and Nixon dominated the national news. Both the near and distant future looked bleak. But they were five inseparable high school friends with something incredible in common: an unwavering resolve to look after each other no matter what hell life threw at them. And they were on a mission. The plan was simple: Go off the grid before they turned 18 to avoid the draft. They’d sell some grass, stack some cash, then head west and start a commune. What could possibly go wrong?
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This really hit home.
- By Ray Beaulieu on 05-26-24
By: Don Winslow
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Tansy Bloom, Monster Hunter
- By: L. J. Weller
- Narrated by: Tanya Reynolds
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Three months ago, Tansy Bloom quit monster hunting. Since then, she’s been trying to live a normal life (whatever that means), but ending up single, unemployed, and living on a boat outside her godfather’s pub definitely wasn’t part of the plan. So, when Tansy’s ex-husband – fellow monster hunter Rex Barclay – turns up like a bad penny and asks for her help with his latest investigation, Tansy reluctantly agrees. At first, the job appears to be a straightforward monster hunt – following a spate of large creature sightings, Rex believes a werewolf is on the loose in Norfolk.
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Great storytelling
- By Anonymous User on 07-13-24
By: L. J. Weller
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Her Second Husband
- By: Jane E. James
- Narrated by: Claire Rushbrook
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
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Then: Linda has it all: a gorgeous home, a devoted husband, two loving daughters. But she throws it all away to chase an impossible dream. Now: Linda is alone and penniless, living in a shabby rented flat. With nothing to lose, she signs up to a dating app for the over 50s. But the one man who responds to her profile, a man calling himself Tony Fortin, is not who he says he is. Linda recognises him immediately. He’s Marcus, her second husband. But that’s impossible. Marcus died eight months ago. He drowned off the coast of Corfu.
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Tedious Read
- By Jazzyjane on 07-13-24
By: Jane E. James
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The Worst of You
- By: Sarah Richards
- Narrated by: Sarah Desjardins
- Length: 10 hrs and 51 mins
- Original Recording
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In The Worst of You, just-wed architects Timo and Nia flee a murder scene, setting in motion a chain reaction of lies and betrayals that threaten to unravel everything they have built together. Twisted and propulsive, this thriller is told from the alternating perspectives of the couple and those close to them on Williwaw Island, each with their own motive to use the outcome of the murder case to their advantage. When a huge storm sweeps up the coast, trapping everyone on tiny Williwaw Island, it’s a race against time—and the elements — to stop the murderer from striking again.
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A boring drawn out simplistic plot
- By RJD on 05-31-24
By: Sarah Richards
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Home Is Where the Bodies Are
- By: Jeneva Rose
- Narrated by: January LaVoy, Cassandra Campbell, Brittany Pressley, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
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After their mother passes, three estranged siblings reunite to sort out her estate. Beth, the oldest, never left home. She stayed with her mom, caring for her until the very end. Nicole, the middle child, has been kept at arm’s length due to her ongoing battle with a serious drug addiction. Michael, the youngest, lives out of state and hasn’t been back to their small Wisconsin town since their father ran out on them seven years before.
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Perfect Audio.
- By Black Women Read Too on 05-19-24
By: Jeneva Rose
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Sherlock Holmes: The Definitive Collection
- By: Arthur Conan Doyle, Stephen Fry - introductions
- Narrated by: Stephen Fry
- Length: 71 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Ever since he made his first appearance in A Study In Scarlet, Sherlock Holmes has enthralled and delighted millions of fans throughout the world. Now Audible is proud to present Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes, read by Stephen Fry. A lifelong fan of Doyle's detective fiction, Fry has narrated the definitive collection of Sherlock Holmes - four novels and four collections of short stories. And, exclusively for Audible, Stephen has written and narrated eight insightful introductions, one for each title.
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Chapter Guide!
- By Katya Rice on 05-25-18
By: Arthur Conan Doyle, and others
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While some people escape into books or music, Liv Spyers escapes through her camera’s lens, which inspires her to jump into things she might otherwise have no business tackling—like moving to New York City. Hustling to make her dreams come true as a portrait photographer, she runs a studio below her grandparents’ brownstone and key shop, where she also lives and works. Everything changes in a flash, however, when elite events photographer Regina Montague invites Liv to shoot with her at New York City’s most exclusive socialite event of the year—the Holiday Debutante Ball!
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It was supposed to be a romantic getaway weekend in New York City. Breanna’s new boyfriend, Ty, took care of everything—the train tickets, the dinner reservations, the rented four-story luxury rowhouse in Jersey City with a beautiful view of the Manhattan skyline. But when Bree comes downstairs their final morning, she’s shocked. There’s a stranger laying dead in the foyer, and Ty is nowhere to be found.
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Hector Santinio is the younger son of Alejo and Mercedes, who moved to New York from Cuba in the mid-1940s. The family of four shares their modest apartment with extended relatives in Harlem, where homesickness and nostalgia are dispelled by nights of dancing and raucous parties. But life’s realities are nevertheless harsh in the Santinio family’s adoptive land.
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The Sleepwalkers
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Still reeling from the chaos of their wedding, Evelyn and Richard arrive on a tiny Greek island for their honeymoon. It’s the end of the season and a storm is imminent. Determined to make the best of it, they check into the sun-soaked rooms of Villa Rosa. Already feeling insecure after seeing the “beautiful people,” the seemingly endless number of young models and musicians lounging along the Mediterranean, Evelyn is wary of the hotel’s owner, Isabella, who seems to only have eyes for Richard.
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interesting
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King Nyx
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Anna Fort wants to be a supportive wife, even if that means accompanying her husband for the winter of 1918 to a remote, frozen island estate so he can finish his book as the guest of an eccentric millionaire. When she learns three girls are missing from a school run by their host, Anna realizes finding them is up to her—even if that means risking her husband’s career, and possibly her life.
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What listeners say about Bless Your Heart
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Heather L.
- 05-27-24
Creepy summer listen. I loved it!
I highly recommend! It’s funny, sassy, a little creepy, with some mystery, and a twist. Too fun!
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- Lisa M.
- 05-27-24
The beginning of a fun saga
Fun story, well written and very well read. I could see every character and look forward to more adventures with these strong, smart and courageous women.
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- Kia
- 05-20-24
Fantastic experience!
Really loved this book, and the production of the audio book was done really well. Highly recommend!
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- L. Garcia
- 05-03-24
Fast read, fun mystery
Good storyline, well developed characters and good twist. Listened to it in three days! Looking forward to the next book.
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- Jamie Toepel
- 05-15-24
Bless y’all’s heart!
What a fantastic debut! This story is unique and feels classic at the same time! 4 generations of Texas women run a small town funeral home, where they “take care of” the restless dead! It made me laugh, it made me cry! Fantastic narration! Highly recommend!
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- Andrea Dethmers
- 04-19-24
Loved this book!
Never thought a book about dark creatures could also be so funny and emotional. I loved the bond the family had and how the characters all interacted with one another.
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- Dawn Major
- 05-31-24
Comic Horror
Great narration. Great story. Great characters. Just loved everything about this book, but especially the all female protagonists.
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-30-24
Like true blood meets practical magic
I usually hate fun reads. Like I love a super long heavy plot but this book was just sooooo good. The narrater deserves an award and all the characters were interesting and compelling. I want more
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- M
- 05-19-24
I can't wait for the next one!
This book follows Luna through being a teenager in the 1990s. Her family is a little odd but they stick together and run the town's funeral parlor. I need the next in the series asap.
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