Childless Living
The Joys and Challenges of Life Without Children
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Narrated by:
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Lisette Schuitemaker
About this listen
An exploration of the self-fulfilling lives of people who, by chance or choice, have no children of their own
- Investigates the life choices people make around having children and alternate ways of finding purpose in life
- Based on a global survey and more than 50 in-depth interviews with childless and childfree women and men aged 19 to 91 from different cultures and walks of life
- Enables listeners to place their own circumstances in a larger context as they gain insight in the worldwide trend of people who lead a self-fulfilling, childless life
Not having children is on the rise in many countries across the globe. August 1 has been named International Childfree Day, with a Childfree Woman and Man of the Year Award. Yet being childless is a subject not much talked about—the focus tends to be on having families and raising children, in rural, town, or city life. Let’s talk about not having children, about what people like us do with our time, about how we spend our money, and—most of all—how we find purpose and fulfilment in our lives.
Never attracted to family life herself, Lisette Schuitemaker began openly discussing why people didn’t have children and how that was for them, resulting in intimate conversations with childless women and men and surprising insights. Inspired to delve further, she interviewed non-parenting people aged 19 to 91 across the globe. She found that no story was like the other and that many had been waiting to be listened to with sensitivity. She heard stories across the spectrum, from exhilarating to painful, from people still on the fence to the childfree who have always known starting a family was not for them. Complementing her interview findings with a worldwide survey and recent research, the author paints a rich picture of the individual lives of childless and childfree women and men.
This book is for everyone who has not gone the way of parenthood, who has close family or friends who lead self-directed lives without offspring, and for all those who are still contemplating this essential life choice. The stories in this book also testify that not having children of your own in no way means the joys (and trials) of children pass you by altogether. This book shows that it is OK to celebrate not only the parenting way of life and the children who come to those who love them, but also those who are brave enough to follow the lesser known path of non-parenting.
©2019 Lisette Schuitemaker. All Rights Reserved. (P)2019 Inner Traditions Audio. All Rights ReservedListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"In Childless Living, Lisette Schuitemaker creatively takes readers through the seasonsof the lives of those who have no children by choice or circumstance and offers worthyinsights for fulfilling life journeys that don’t include parenthood. It will inspire rumination and reflection, no matter what season of life you’re in!" (Laura Carroll, author of Families of Two and The Baby Matrix)
“As most of her work, this latest offering of Lisette Schuitemaker is an affront to conventional thinking. She offers a radical reformulation of what is described, in many cultures, as ‘a curse’, as ‘lacking’, or ‘a barrenness.’ She challenges definitions of women asguarantors of reproductivity and as responsible for the continuation of the tribe at theexpense of choice. Instead, courageously, she hugely expands our understanding of generativity as a choiceful and joyful embracing of what circumstance or biology seeminglyimposes upon all women. Highly recommended.” (Bernd Leygraf, consultant, psychotherapist, and founder and director of Naos Institute)
“Childless Living is a beautifully crafted and wisely written book addressing an ever-growing section of our society, which has traditionally been looked down upon as lacking. As the real-life examples based on rigorous research by the author show, life is notless for not having had children. I wish this book had been around when I was needingsome clear guidance that I was not weird for feeling ambivalent about having children.It would have saved me many hours of therapy!” (Jane Duncan Rogers, author of Before I Go and founder of Before I Go Solutions)
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Story
Author David Brooks explores the four commitments that define a life of meaning and purpose: to a spouse and family, to a vocation, to a philosophy or faith, and to a community. Our personal fulfillment depends on how well we choose and execute these commitments. Brooks looks at a range of people who have lived joyous, committed lives, and who have embraced the necessity and beauty of dependence. He gathers their wisdom on how to choose a partner, how to pick a vocation, how to live out a philosophy, and how we can begin to integrate our commitments into one overriding purpose.
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Pursue meaning, reject hyper-individualism
- By Adam Shields on 05-07-19
By: David Brooks
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All the Single Ladies
- Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation
- By: Rebecca Traister
- Narrated by: Candace Thaxton, Rebecca Traister - introduction
- Length: 11 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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In a provocative, groundbreaking work, National Magazine Award finalist Rebecca Traister, "the most brilliant voice on feminism in this country" (Anne Lamott), traces the history of unmarried women in America who, through social, political, and economic means, have radically shaped our nation.
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Excellent book, destroyed by narration
- By Theresa Holleran on 03-06-16
By: Rebecca Traister
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Coming Apart
- By: Daphne Rose Kingma, Katherine Woodward Thomas - foreword
- Narrated by: Ann Richardson
- Length: 6 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Next to the death of a loved one, the ending of a relationship is the most painful experience most people will ever go through. Coming Apart is a first aid kit for getting through the ending. It is a tool that will enable you to live through the end of your relationship with your self-esteem intact.
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Title does not reflect the content
- By NeVi on 04-25-21
By: Daphne Rose Kingma, and others
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Your Turn
- How to Be an Adult
- By: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Narrated by: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Length: 20 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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What does it mean to be an adult? In the 20th century, psychologists came up with five markers of adulthood: finish your education, get a job, leave home, marry, and have children. Since then, every generation has been held to those same markers. Yet so much has changed about the world and living in it since that sequence was formulated. All of those markers are choices, and they’re all valid, but any one person’s choices along those lines do not make them more or less an adult.
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Not the book that was advertised
- By M. Rogers on 04-13-21
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The Feminine Mystique
- By: Betty Friedan
- Narrated by: Parker Posey
- Length: 15 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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The book that changed the consciousness of a country - and the world. Landmark, groundbreaking, classic - these adjectives barely describe the earthshaking and long-lasting effects of Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique. This is the book that defined "the problem that has no name", that launched the Second Wave of the feminist movement, and has been awakening women and men with its insights into social relations, which still remain fresh, ever since.
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A landmark book of its time and relevant now
- By Anthony on 01-23-15
By: Betty Friedan
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Committed
- A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
- By: Elizabeth Gilbert
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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At the end of her best-selling memoir Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert fell in love with Felipe, a Brazilian-born man of Australian citizenship who'd been living in Indonesia when they met. Resettling in America, the couple swore eternal fidelity to each other, but also swore to never, ever, under any circumstances get legally married. But providence intervened one day in the form of the United States government....
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Perfect timing
- By Nancy on 01-15-10
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The Feminine Mistake
- By: Leslie Bennetts
- Narrated by: Leslie Bennetts
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
- Abridged
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Women are constantly being told that it's simply too difficult to balance work and family, so if they don't really "have to" work, it's better for their families if they stay home. Not only is this untrue, Leslie Bennetts says, but the arguments in favor of stay-at-home motherhood fail to consider the surprising benefits of work and the unexpected toll of giving it up. It's time, she says, to get the message across: combining work and family really is the best choice for most women.
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couldn't get into it.
- By diana prince on 09-21-15
By: Leslie Bennetts
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10 Conversations You Need to Have with Yourself
- A Powerful Plan for Spiritual Growth and Self-Improvement
- By: Shmuley Boteach
- Narrated by: Shmuley Boteach
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Some of the most effective talk therapy is self-talk therapy - learning to connect positively with that internal voice that serves as your own personal GPS to guide you through life. Rabbi Shmuley teaches the reader to reconnect with the inner voice of conscience, the source of personal dreams and values, which has been so drowned out by the noise of a culture that emphasizes form over substance, career over calling, and consumption over conviction. Drawing on Rabbi Shmuley's extensive counseling experience, this book helps you defeat negative self-talk.
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Grateful for inspiration, guidance and humility
- By Mike on 07-27-15
By: Shmuley Boteach
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Women Rowing North
- By: Mary Pipher
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Women growing older contend with ageism, misogyny and loss. Yet as Mary Pipher shows, most older women are deeply happy and filled with gratitude for the gifts of life. Their struggles help them grow into the authentic, empathetic and wise people they have always wanted to be. In Women Rowing North, Pipher offers a timely examination of the cultural and developmental issues women face as they age.
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The narrator is a distraction
- By Amazon Customer on 03-01-19
By: Mary Pipher
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Bringing Up Girls
- Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Women
- By: James C. Dobson
- Narrated by: James C. Dobson
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on extensive research, and handled with Dr. Dobson's trademark down-to-earth approach, Bringing Up Girls will equip parents like you to face the challenges of raising your daughters to become healthy, happy, and successful women who overcome challenges specific to girls and women today and who ultimately excel in life.
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Solid concepts, poor presentation
- By honuhunter on 12-06-18
By: James C. Dobson
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The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption
- Helping Your Child Grow up Whole
- By: Lori Holden, Crystal Hass
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Open adoption isn't just something parents do when they exchange photos, send emails, share a visit. It's a lifestyle that may feel intrusive at times, be difficult or inconvenient at other times. Tensions can arise even in the best of circumstances. But knowing how to handle these situations and how to continue to make arrangements work for the child involved is paramount. This book offers listeners the tools and the insight to do just that.
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Who is talking?
- By Robert on 06-26-18
By: Lori Holden, and others
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To Have and to Hold
- Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma
- By: Molly Millwood
- Narrated by: Molly Millwood
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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A clinical psychologist’s exploration of the modern dilemmas women face in the wake of new motherhood. When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for what she would gain: an adorable baby boy; hard-won mothering skills; and a messy, chaotic, beautiful life. But what she did not expect was what she would lose: aspects of her identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of well-being.
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Pretty good
- By C Sandell on 03-07-21
By: Molly Millwood
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Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives
- By: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Length: 2 hrs and 52 mins
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Following the tremendous success of her New York Times best sellers, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives and How Could You Do That?!, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses the stupid things men do that diminish their lives and happiness. With real-world examples from her radio show and strikingly honest letters from her male listeners, her book reveals that many men demonstrate a level of sensitivity and insight that will surprise most women.
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Loved it!
- By Ethan on 03-21-18
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Happily Ever After
- The Life-Changing Power of a Grateful Heart
- By: Trista Sutter
- Narrated by: Trista Sutter
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether or not you remember Trista (Rehn) Sutter from her heartbreak on the first season of The Bachelor reality show or as the original Bachelorette, you’ve probably seen her on the cover of magazines like People and US Weekly or on shows like Ellen and Dancing with the Stars. She has rarely been out of the public eye since falling in love with Ryan Sutter on The Bachelorette more than ten years ago.
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Not what I was expecting
- By marcie on 01-09-17
By: Trista Sutter
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Life, I Swear
- Intimate Stories from Black Women on Identity, Healing, and Self-Trust
- By: Chloe Dulce Louvouezo
- Narrated by: Joniece Abbott-Pratt
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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In this stunningly illustrated essay collection inspired by the popular podcast Life, I Swear, prominent Black women reflect on self-love and healing, sharing stories of the trials and tribulations they’ve faced and what has helped them confront pain, heal wounds, and find connection.
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This felt like home
- By nm on 11-16-21
What listeners say about Childless Living
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Felicia W.
- 06-26-22
The affirmation I needed
A seeker of truth in the blessings of a potentially childless life. 👋 Hello. I’m a 36 year old married woman with a full time career.
I constantly think of whether I should have children or not. Why? My past.
My mom left the family when I was four; my sister 11 mo. Dad raised us and he married a non-English speaking El Salvadoran woman.
From age 4, I raised myself and my sister. Later, in our teens, my dad became addicted to drugs, and my sister was emancipated.
I’ve worked since I was fifteen, bought all my cars with cash, never had debt (except education debt for BA and MBA), paid for all my healthcare, and rent.
Due to working so much in my 20’s (still do, want to slow down) and un-therapized (new word!) emotional trauma, I didn’t date much or find healthy love.
Now, 36 and married to my amazing man, I want to enjoy life… to keep growing as a person and find a way to live my purpose of serving others… to help fostered teenagers transition into self-sufficient life… to be a stable home for people who need it and who give back love, too. I want to love on my dachshunds (16 & 17 yrs!)… to put my dad in a nice care facility when time comes… to stay with my bestest friends when they need my support (they are Mama Bears ❤️)… so many things!
Plus, I do wonder if I won’t be a good parent because I never had an example.
There is so much responsibility to mold a wonderful human being, and so much to risk if they aren’t. It can be a risk to anyone that interacts with them. And, Generational.
In Childless Living, Lisette Schuitemaker speaks to people who have tried to conceive, tried to adopt, never committed, chose not to, never wanted to, and, to mothers.
This book helped me see the value I bring to other children and parents in my community. The different types of bonds and impact people can make on developing individuals. Lizette helped me see my value as a person, as a woman without kids.
Fast read (3 nights). Very fast audio book (one night).
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1 person found this helpful
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- Sophie
- 02-05-23
Helpful read
I enjoyed the nuanced approach, the overall positive outlook and the enjoyable performance by the author.
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