Preview
  • How to Know a Person

  • The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
  • By: David Brooks
  • Narrated by: David Brooks
  • Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (1,902 ratings)

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How to Know a Person

By: David Brooks
Narrated by: David Brooks
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Publisher's summary

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person in order to foster deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives—from the author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain

“More than a guide to better conversations, it’s a blueprint for a more connected and humane way of living. It’s a must-read for anyone looking to deepen their relationships and broaden their perspectives.”—Bill Gates, GatesNotes (Summer Reading Pick)

As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.”

And yet we humans don’t do this well. All around us are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing questions that are essential for all of us: If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person’s story should you pay attention to?

Driven by his trademark sense of curiosity and his determination to grow as a person, Brooks draws from the fields of psychology and neuroscience and from the worlds of theater, philosophy, history, and education to present a welcoming, hopeful, integrated approach to human connection. How to Know a Person helps readers become more understanding and considerate toward others, and to find the joy that comes from being seen. Along the way it offers a possible remedy for a society that is riven by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception.

The act of seeing another person, Brooks argues, is profoundly creative: How can we look somebody in the eye and see something large in them, and in turn, see something larger in ourselves? How to Know a Person is for anyone searching for connection, and yearning to be understood.

©2023 David Brooks (P)2023 Random House Audio

What listeners say about How to Know a Person

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    3 out of 5 stars

Important for everyone in todays busy world.

As a former educator, I would recommend this for a HS reading. It would do a tremendous service in this social media connected world, where we don’t really actually know a person.

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A good book not a great book

Well written. Well intended. Many thoughtful and useful concepts to consider. Happy I read it.

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trying to figure out why there is a failure of communication

I've been having a problem with a woman I was working with. I still believe what our issue was "What we have here is a failure to communicate!". Our relationship ended poorly and I still can't figure out why she treated me so badly. I took some solice in this book and found it to be excellent. Alas, oh well, with the person I did not work well with, but in the future I will be better prepared to be open and try to listen better.

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The depth of subject matter was quite informative.

Makes you really take a in-depth look at your own way of communicating and why.

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Awesome!

I did like the author’s narrative.
I did not like Oprah’s input.
Over all, I loved the book!

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Thoughtful book

What an insightful and helpful book. David Brooks opens his heart and head and gives us tangible steps.

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Great insights, wisely applied

This great collection of insights into persons, perspectives and behaviors brings great clarity to how we can engage with each other with more depth and humanity.
Should be required reading in high schools, colleges, and all leadership coursework,

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Overview of communication

Loved the story. His research and practical insights were incredibly open and understandable. I wish the book was longer. I will follow up with more of Me Brooks materials and look forward to his next work.

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Transformative

This book provides exactly what it says it will-a framework for knowing people deeply. The suggestions for deep listening, for paying attention, being curious, present, and asking good questions are illustrated with beautiful examples. At its foundation it is a book about how to be a human, how to be loving. Thank you for writing this!

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Let the more loving one be me

This quote by Auden is the perfect summary of what David Brooks is attempting to capture and bottle in this fascinating read. Looking with a loving gaze on others and building skill in compassionate being, being an illuminator, are such worthy goals for every person on the planet, and this book gives some great insights about how to these behaviors better.

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