How to Know a Person Audiobook By David Brooks cover art

How to Know a Person

The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

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How to Know a Person

By: David Brooks
Narrated by: David Brooks
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About this listen

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person in order to foster deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives—from the author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain

“More than a guide to better conversations, it’s a blueprint for a more connected and humane way of living. It’s a must-read for anyone looking to deepen their relationships and broaden their perspectives.”—Bill Gates, GatesNotes (Summer Reading Pick)

As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.”

And yet we humans don’t do this well. All around us are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing questions that are essential for all of us: If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them? What kind of conversations should you have? What parts of a person’s story should you pay attention to?

Driven by his trademark sense of curiosity and his determination to grow as a person, Brooks draws from the fields of psychology and neuroscience and from the worlds of theater, philosophy, history, and education to present a welcoming, hopeful, integrated approach to human connection. How to Know a Person helps readers become more understanding and considerate toward others, and to find the joy that comes from being seen. Along the way it offers a possible remedy for a society that is riven by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception.

The act of seeing another person, Brooks argues, is profoundly creative: How can we look somebody in the eye and see something large in them, and in turn, see something larger in ourselves? How to Know a Person is for anyone searching for connection, and yearning to be understood.

©2023 David Brooks (P)2023 Random House Audio
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Great work David!

I preordered this book because I was so excited to listen to it. It did not disappoint. Very well written!

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5 people found this helpful

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Full of great human tools

This book is full of advice I didn’t realize I needed and delivered with wonderful anecdotes

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Insightful!

David Brooks does an in depth job of delving into how to be more empathetic and really see/hear/know someone. It is all the more poignant because he is not naturally inclined to be that kind of friend/listener. I’m going to listen again to let more of it seep in!

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become a illuminator

After having listened to the reading probably more than five times I still hear something that will make better at listening.

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Things everyone should know

This is a fascinating look at how valuable knowing others can be so rewarding. I secret is to accept what another person says without judgement and to be comfortable with being vulnerable in telling others your story.

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Keeper

Perfectly imperfect. The world need more of these conversations. I love how he gives you life’s truths without saying he has mastered them himself.

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A bit like taking an interpersonal comm class

Excellent info except for a brief part of the book where David’s conservatism comes out.

Also, David goes to an amazing number of dinner parties.

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Seen

Very enlightening and David Brooks paints a picture not only of how to see others, but why this is important to be seen by others.
Great Book. Chapter 11 just might change my life.

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This is one of the books that could heal our divided world.

So often I'm worried about books being too basic, repeating a lot of the same old thing but this one kept me in rapt attention. I want to read it over and over so I can get better at knowing people and help bridge the gaps in my life. Thank you

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Outstanding and exactly what we need to hear today

David Brooks is my favorite commentator and Opinion piece writer. He is reasonable and his opinions are well thought out. He is also very brave and honest! Just a great human being!!

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