Clowns vs. Spiders
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Narrated by:
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Joe Hempel
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By:
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Jeff Strand
About this listen
Jaunty the Clown just wants to entertain families with lighthearted slapstick antics, but people think of clowns as terrifying, nightmarish creatures who hide in closets or under beds. When Jaunty, along with his fellow performers Guffaw, Wagon, Reginald the Pleasant Clown, and Bluehead are fired from the circus, they're told that the world just doesn't like clowns anymore.
Still, clowns have to eat. And since these clowns don't eat children, to make ends meet they're eventually forced to take a job in a popular haunted attraction, the Mountain of Terror. Instead of charming entertainers, they're now scary clowns. A zombie clown. A demon clown. A creepy doll clown.
But the town is about to discover something more frightening than clowns. Because on opening night, millions of oversized spiders emerge from a cave and begin their deadly invasion....
From Bram Stoker Award-nominated author Jeff Strand comes an insane mix of shameless silliness and grisly creepy-crawly horror. Clowns vs. Spiders. Who will win?
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The Merchant of Death
- Pendragon, Book 1
- By: D. J. MacHale
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 12 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Bobby Pendragon is a seemingly normal 14-year-old boy. He has a family, a home, and even Marley, his beloved dog. But there is something very special about Bobby: he is going to save the world.
And not just Earth as we know it. Bobby is slowly starting to realize that life in the cosmos isn't quite what he thought it was. And before he can object, he is swept off to an alternate dimension known as Denduron, a territory inhabited by strange beings, ruled by a magical tyrant, and plagued by dangerous revolution.
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The Merchant of Death (Unabridged
- By Bronwyn on 07-26-08
By: D. J. MacHale
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Infernal Justice, Books 1-3
- Ethan Drake Series
- By: N.P. Martin
- Narrated by: Brian Wiggins
- Length: 24 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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My name is Ethan Drake, and I’m a police detective. And I got plenty darkness to give. So does my partner, who’s a demon, and frankly, a royal pain in my ass. But occult investigators are in short supply in the PD, so what are you going to do? Anyway, we just caught a bodysnatching case that has the stench of occult workings all over it.
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It wasn't quite what I expected, it was better!
- By Snyckerdoodle on 09-22-21
By: N.P. Martin
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900 Miles
- A Zombie Novel
- By: S. Johnathan Davis
- Narrated by: Jamison Jones
- Length: 7 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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John is a killer, but that wasn't his day job before the Apocalypse. In a harrowing 900-mile race against time to get to his wife just as the dead begin to rise, John, a businessman trapped in New York, soon learns that the zombies are the least of his worries, as he sees firsthand the horror of what man is capable of with no rules, no consequences, and death at every turn. Teaming up with an ex-army pilot named Kyle, they escape New York only to stumble across a man who says that he has the key to a rumored underground stronghold called Avalon....
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A "road story"--with zombies!
- By Lesley on 09-30-14
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Title Says It All
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Everyone knows the legend of the Jersey Devil. Some believe it is an abomination of nature, a hybrid winged beast from hell that stalks the Pine Barrens of southern New Jersey searching for prey. Others believe it is a hoax, a campfire story designed to scare children. But one man knows the truth....
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Excellent ! Exciting!
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Excellent ! Exciting!
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The Snow
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After a tragic accident at work, all Grady Miller wanted was an escape. He finds it months later with two of his closest friends. Together, the three of them travel south to Prism Lake for the upcoming holiday, where they plan on spending the sunny weekend drinking, grilling, and relaxing. But when a series of monstrous blizzards cover the Eastern United States in feet of snow, knocking out communications and making the roads impossible to drive on, they realize their weekend of fun could turn into a lifetime of survival.
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I tried.
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creative but irritating
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Tenebrous, Horrifying and Downright Captivating
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Entertaining
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Harry Houdini. Penn and Teller. David Copperfield. Marcus Millian the Third. Okay, so Marcus isn't a famous magician. He may not even be a great magician. But his great-grandfather, the once-legendary and long-retired Zachary the Stupendous, insists Marcus has true talent. And when Grandpa Zachary boasts that he and Marcus are working on an illusion that will shock, stun, and astonish, Marcus wishes he could make himself disappear.
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Unfortunately Absurdist
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The Cavern
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When a sink hole opens up near the Australian outback town of Pintalba, it uncovers a pristine cave system. Sam joins an expedition to explore the subterranean passages as paramedic support, hoping to remain unneeded at base camp. But, when one of the cavers is injured, he must overcome paralyzing claustrophobia to dive pitch-black waters and squeeze through the bowels of the earth. Soon he will find there are fates worse than being buried alive, for in the abandoned mines and caves beneath Pintalba, there are ravenous teeth in the dark.
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good
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The Best Horror of the Year, Volume 4
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With tales from Laird Barron, Stephen King, John Langan, Peter Straub, and many others, and featuring Datlow’s comprehensive overview of the year in horror, now, more than ever, The Best Horror of the Year provides the petrifying horror fiction readers have come to expect - and enjoy.
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Only a few decent stories in this bunch.
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State Road 177 runs along the Suwannee River, between Fargo, Georgia, and the Okefenokee Swamp. Drive that route from east to west, and you'll cross six bridges. Take it from west to east, and you might find seven. But you'd better hope not. Titus and Melanie Bell leave their hotel in Fargo for a second honeymoon canoeing the Okefenokee Swamp. But shortly before they reach their destination, they draw up to a halt at the edge of a rickety bridge with old stone pilings, with room for only one car....
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An Enjoyable Listen
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Graverobbers Wanted: No Experience Necessary
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When you’re desperate for money, searching for a little adventure, and aren’t the most responsible person in the world, you can end up doing some outrageous things. Which is how Andrew Mayhem, a married father of two, ends up accepting $20,000 to find a key - a key buried with a body in a shallow grave. But what he finds in the grave isn’t quite what he expected, and what begins as a simple evening of morally questionable manual labor turns into a really good way to die.
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Tried to get through it.
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The Skittering
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Crease is known in Weaver as ‘the bug guy’, the man who takes care of insects and other critters. But what emerges from the shadows of the town’s waste plant is beyond anything found in nature. Fist-sized cockroaches. Bird-sized wasps. Spiders, millipedes, ticks, all swollen to enormous bulk with vicious appetites to match. And other things, creatures that should never exist. Through the night, they come, slithering, buzzing, scuttling, crawling over skin, burrowing into flesh, making the town their nest.
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Good ol gross out gore
- By Liv on 04-05-23
By: David Haynes
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Devil's Island
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Devil's Island. An abandoned island in the Caribbean Sea with a dark and bloody past. An island with a terrible secret. Nick Gorman, billionaire movie producer, assembles a team of ghost hunters and scientists to investigate the Thornhill Manor on Devil's Island - the most haunted place in the world that no one's ever heard of. He's there to find proof of ghosts, evidence of an afterlife...but he's also there to uncover the secret that is hidden on the island...to possess it.
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Pretty good book
- By Roni on 02-04-18
By: Mark Lukens
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Veiled
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Scott Thomas
- Length: 5 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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The first time their eyes lock, it’s an amused and sympathetic look from Alice at the next table. She can tell Nate’s blind date is going horribly awry. The second time is a chance meeting at a grocery store. Or is it by chance? It’s a little weird, but either way, Nate and Alice hit it off immediately.
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Jeff Strand Can Make You Cringe
- By CableMonkey on 10-02-24
By: Jeff Strand
What listeners say about Clowns vs. Spiders
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-10-23
I don't usually laugh out loud
This is so wonderfully campy and ridiculous...and subtly, artfully delivered by Joe Hempel. Such a fun listen!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Sondra
- 08-15-23
Nice listen
I enjoyed the storyline and the performance. Just discovering the author and will definitely listen to more.
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- Pauline
- 02-26-24
Jeff Strand's witty and eccentric story telling
Clowns Vs Spider is a ecentric and witty store. combing prevalent freas with all the horro and gore you would expect with a light heart dry sence approach. Sure to cause those who frear clowns or spiders with all the skin crawling, spine tingling apprehension, while you rolling with laughter.
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- Anonymous User
- 05-27-23
Great story
Absolutely loved it! So worth the listen and quite entertaining! Is it cheesy yes but in a good way!
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1 person found this helpful
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- O. Lester
- 07-05-23
Great story
Who thought clowns and spiders would be entertaining? Nice job. Thanks for the listen on my drive.
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1 person found this helpful
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- HHRNDN
- 01-17-21
One of his funny novels, but also quite gruesome.
The clowns are faithful to the Clown Code, which compels them to be wholesome and chivalrous. In a creature feature like this, the urge to help could get a person killed.
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- kathy pappas
- 03-11-23
Excellent!!!!
Wow ! I can't even describe how much I loved this book ! The story , the author and the narrator!!
This one I didn't have to use a credit for , but I loved it so much I just bought another of his books !
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- mea1313
- 08-26-23
So much fun!
Lol, this book is really wonderful!! Every B rated monster movie was brought to life in this story, and that's awesome!! Great narration!
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- Christna Fredrick Kim
- 04-08-20
I looked it a lot but I didn't love it
I thought it had some tone issues but overall the story was enjoyable. it's not groundbreaking but it's fun. it does something different but it's predictable and you know what's going to happen but it's a fun book to listen to while you run errands. the narrator was good. I didn't get bored listening to him. I think it's worth the 8sh hours of listening and worth a credit.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Dyanstar
- 08-19-23
Funny and horrific
Really great at the dead pan humor which I love. Very entertaining, always a fun ride.
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