
The Haunted Forest Tour
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Narrated by:
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Joe Hempel
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Haunted Forest Tour! Sit back, and enjoy a smooth ride in air-conditioned comfort as your heavily armored tram takes you through nature's most astonishing creation. The forest is packed to capacity with dangerous and terrifying creatures of all shapes, sizes, and hunger levels, and you'll get to observe these wonders in complete safety.
Howl with a werewolf! Gaze into the glowing eyes of a giant spider! Look right through a spooky ghost! See horrific monsters you couldn't even imagine, only inches away from you! Things with fangs, things with claws, things with dripping red jaws - you'll see them all!
Not thrilling enough? Well, it's Halloween, and so we're offering a very special tour through the Haunted Forest. The new route goes deeper into the woods than any civilians have ventured before, and you're guaranteed to get a good scare! Rest assured that every possible security precaution has been taken. The Haunted Forest Tour has a 100 percent safety record, and technical difficulties are unheard of. You will be in no danger whatsoever.
We promise.
©2007 James A. Moore and Jeff Strand (P)2018 TantorListeners also enjoyed...




















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wonderful
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Eventually, developers get the bright idea to turn the forest into a tourist attraction. This particular trip is special. It's Halloween night, and a tram full of lucky ticket holders get on board and make their way through the horrors of the forest. This part of the story is hard to keep track of because there are just so many damn characters. That is until the tram dies on the tracks, and all hell breaks loose.
This book is incredibly imaginative (though I found using the word "monsters" to collective describe the creatures seems very old fashioned and quaint). If you can set aside some of its silliness (every time an Ogre ripped someone in half or slammed them against a tree, I just kept picturing Shrek), you'll love this book. I ultimately settled on three stars because the number of characters was overwhelming, and a few scenes went on a lot longer than the should have. And with the detailed descriptions of so many creatures, I can't help but think they took some inspiration from video games, or perhaps the last 15 minutes of Cabin In The Woods
There's a lot to unpack here
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Fun and Fast Horror Ride
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What's good-
Interesting premise.
Nice action sequences.
Amusing sarcastic writing style.
What's bad-
Thinly crafted characters.
Too much time spent lovingly describing wounds and pain.
Too much suspension of disbelief is required to truly invest emotionally in the tale.
In a nutshell, this story has no real heft. It's a poorly made Halloween mask from the $1.99 bargain bin; it's scary if it's dark out and you squint your eyes just right, otherwise it's just cheaply painted rubber and matted fantasy fur.
Like a Halloween mask from the $1.99 bargain bin
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Interesting to say the least.
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An Imaginative Ride
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Good God is this good!
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Fun
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OK trees, trees doing things and more trees......
It was OK
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Interesting concept, but story lacked something
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