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The Haunted Forest Tour
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
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Publisher's summary
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Haunted Forest Tour! Sit back, and enjoy a smooth ride in air-conditioned comfort as your heavily armored tram takes you through nature's most astonishing creation. The forest is packed to capacity with dangerous and terrifying creatures of all shapes, sizes, and hunger levels, and you'll get to observe these wonders in complete safety.
Howl with a werewolf! Gaze into the glowing eyes of a giant spider! Look right through a spooky ghost! See horrific monsters you couldn't even imagine, only inches away from you! Things with fangs, things with claws, things with dripping red jaws - you'll see them all!
Not thrilling enough? Well, it's Halloween, and so we're offering a very special tour through the Haunted Forest. The new route goes deeper into the woods than any civilians have ventured before, and you're guaranteed to get a good scare! Rest assured that every possible security precaution has been taken. The Haunted Forest Tour has a 100 percent safety record, and technical difficulties are unheard of. You will be in no danger whatsoever.
We promise.
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13 Bullets
- A Vampire Tale
- By: David Wellington
- Narrated by: Bernadette Dunne
- Length: 11 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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All the official reports say they are dead—extinct since the late ’80s, when a fed named Arkeley nailed the last vampire in a fight that nearly killed him. But Arkeley knows what most people don’t: there is one left. In an abandoned asylum she is rotting, plotting, and biding her time in a way that only the undead can. When state trooper Laura Caxton calls the FBI looking for help in the middle of the night, it is Arkeley who gets the assignment.
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HER LARYNX ROTTED AWAY YEARS AGO
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 10-20-16
By: David Wellington
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Deadlocked 1
- By: A.R. Wise
- Narrated by: Brian Sutherland
- Length: 2 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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David was caught in the middle of the city when the zombie outbreak started. His wife and daughters were at home, stranded on the roof as zombies waited below. He would have to fight through hordes of undead, merciless other survivors, and a series of death defying stunts to get home. However, even if he makes it there, how can he be sure they're safe? Deadlocked puts you into David's head as he struggles to get home. Then a final confrontation occurs that could guarantee his family's survival, but at what cost?
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Looks like a great series to follow
- By Tilo on 07-06-14
By: A.R. Wise
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Things to Do in Denver When You're Un-Dead
- From the Files of the BSI, Book 1
- By: Mark Everett Stone
- Narrated by: Damon Abdallah
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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For 10 years Kal Hakala has been the Bureau of Supernatural Investigation's top man, the longest surviving agent in its blood-soaked history. The World At Large has no idea that The World Under exists. And its vampires, demons, zombies, and mythic monsters are growing increasingly restless. In all Kal's time with the Bureau, there has been no case he couldn't crack, no monster he couldn't kill. Then a plague of zombies comes to Denver, along with a vicious serial killer dubbed The Organ Donor.
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very, very enjoyable. a great listen
- By Dr Dionne P Joseph on 08-24-13
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The Last Mailman
- By: Kevin Burke
- Narrated by: Marc Vietor
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Four-year degree in business.Trained in hand-to-hand combat. Works well with zombies.This is the resume of the last mailman on Earth. It is the near future, and the modern world we knew has been overrun and destroyed by reanimated corpses who hunt humans for food. Mankind has retreated to small pockets of civilization and practically surrendered to these walking dead. But one man routinely leaves behind the safety and comfort of his home in this new world in order to find the people and things we’ve long abandoned.
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Zombies but not as many as expected
- By As happy as a monkey with two bananas in his hands on 08-16-13
By: Kevin Burke
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I Have a Bad Feeling about This
- By: Jeff Strand
- Narrated by: Aaron Landon
- Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Henry Lambert would rather play video games than spend time in the great outdoors - but that doesn't make him a wuss. Skinny nerd? Fine. But wuss is a little harsh. Sadly, his dad doesn't agree. Which is why Henry is being shipped off to Strongwoods Survival Camp. Strongwoods isn't exactly as advertised. It looks like the victim of a zombie apocalypse, the "camp director" is a psycho drill sergeant, and Henry's sure he saw a sign written in blood...
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Entertaining
- By JunieJ on 01-22-17
By: Jeff Strand
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Cryptids
- Cryptids, Book 1
- By: David Haynes
- Narrated by: Jeff Harding
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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The Facility is a research centre that specialises in cryptozoology, the search for legendary creatures. Once these ‘cryptids’ are found, they are caged, abused and experimented on to graft their physical prowess onto ordinary soldiers. Even as the Facility’s troops hunt down Shaw, and the cunning Cryptid Nine plans her escape, something far more horrifying is emerging from hibernation to feed. And both human and cryptid will discover that nothing can stop the Wendigo....
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Awful Narrator!
- By Roni on 05-18-22
By: David Haynes
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Caverns and Creatures: Volume I (Books 1-4)
- By: Robert Bevan
- Narrated by: Jonathan Sleep
- Length: 32 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.
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A great listen, but don't listen while in public!
- By Jonathan on 06-26-19
By: Robert Bevan
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John Dies at the End
- By: David Wong
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
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Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
- By C Yohe on 11-19-12
By: David Wong
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Smoke Eaters
- By: Sean Grigsby
- Narrated by: T. Ryder Smith
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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When dragons rise from the earth, firefighters are humanity's last line of defense, in this wild near-future fantasy. Firefighter Cole Brannigan is on the verge of retirement after 30 years on the job, and a decade fighting dragons. But during his final fire call, he discovers he's immune to dragon smoke. It's such a rare power that he's immediately conscripted into the elite dragon-fighting force known as the Smoke Eaters. Retirement cancelled, Brannigan is re-assigned as a lowly rookie.
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Highly Enjoyable!
- By Logan on 04-07-18
By: Sean Grigsby
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Devil's Island. An abandoned island in the Caribbean Sea with a dark and bloody past. An island with a terrible secret. Nick Gorman, billionaire movie producer, assembles a team of ghost hunters and scientists to investigate the Thornhill Manor on Devil's Island - the most haunted place in the world that no one's ever heard of. He's there to find proof of ghosts, evidence of an afterlife...but he's also there to uncover the secret that is hidden on the island...to possess it.
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good book!
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Lineage
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Pain, horror, fear - these are the things that have comprised best-selling novelist Lance Metzger's life. His childhood remains a riddled wasteland of abuse by a sadistic father and abandonment by an apathetic mother. In turn his only refuge became his writing. When Lance loses his ability to write and becomes haunted by a nightmare that he'd thought was buried, he is drawn inexplicably to a house on the shores of Lake Superior, where he finds his muse once again - but something is waiting for him when he arrives.
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Loved it!
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The Haunting of Nelson Street
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Crowford, a sleepy coastal town in England, might seem like an oasis of calm and tranquillity. Having finally decided to leave the hustle of London, Daisy and Richard Johnson buy two houses on Nelson Street. One house is perfect and ready to move into while the other is a fire-ravaged wreck that needs a lot of work. They figure they have plenty of time to work on the damaged house while Daisy recovers from a traumatic event. Soon, they discover that the two houses share a common link to the past. Something awful once happened on Nelson Street, something that shook the town to its core.
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A good ghost story...
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Whisper Down the Lane
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Richard doesn’t have a past. For him, there is only the present: a new marriage to Tamara, a first chance at fatherhood to her son, Elijah, and a quiet but pleasant life as an art teacher at Elijah’s elementary school in Danvers, Virginia. Then the body of a rabbit, ritualistically murdered, appears on the school grounds with a birthday card for Richard tucked beneath it. Richard doesn’t have a birthday - but Sean does.... Sean is a five-year-old boy who has just moved to Greenfield, Virginia, with his mother.
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The Satanic Panic never had it so good!
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Suffer the Children
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Suffer the Children presents a terrifying tale of apocalyptic fiction, as listeners are introduced to Herod's Syndrome, a devastating illness that suddenly and swiftly kills all young children across the globe. Soon, they return from the grave, and ask for blood. And with blood, they stop being dead. They continue to remain the children they once were, but only for a short time, as they need more blood to live. The average human body holds 10 pints of blood, so the inevitable question for parents everywhere becomes: How far would you go to bring your child back?
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Brilliant, Well Done!!!!!
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 12-08-16
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What listeners say about The Haunted Forest Tour
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Seal35
- 10-17-18
wonderful
This was awesome from start to finish. This was awesome, I loved how well it was written and performed. I enjoyed the characters and left wanting to reread this again. Great job and it was a bonus it all occurs on Halloween.
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- Flyboy
- 07-28-20
There's a lot to unpack here
In a nutshell, a forest pops up in the middle of the desert, wreaking destruction on an entire town, and killing the population.. Before anyone realizes, the forest becomes infested with otherwordly creatures intent on taking over, well, everything. They're also hungry for human flesh - very hungry. Moore and Strand deserve a lot of credit for how much thought they put into all of the creatures, down to every tentacle, tooth, wing, gaping hole, and more. It can sometimes overwhelm with all of the various inhabitants - all deadly, none cuddly.
Eventually, developers get the bright idea to turn the forest into a tourist attraction. This particular trip is special. It's Halloween night, and a tram full of lucky ticket holders get on board and make their way through the horrors of the forest. This part of the story is hard to keep track of because there are just so many damn characters. That is until the tram dies on the tracks, and all hell breaks loose.
This book is incredibly imaginative (though I found using the word "monsters" to collective describe the creatures seems very old fashioned and quaint). If you can set aside some of its silliness (every time an Ogre ripped someone in half or slammed them against a tree, I just kept picturing Shrek), you'll love this book. I ultimately settled on three stars because the number of characters was overwhelming, and a few scenes went on a lot longer than the should have. And with the detailed descriptions of so many creatures, I can't help but think they took some inspiration from video games, or perhaps the last 15 minutes of Cabin In The Woods
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- mea1313
- 05-30-23
Fun and Fast Horror Ride
I loved this book! All the awesome monsters and great descriptions made this a great ride for horror lovers!
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- Michael Scharf
- 05-06-23
Like a Halloween mask from the $1.99 bargain bin
This is a case of missed and underused opportunities. The premise is interesting and the plot is intriguing, but the characters are less than fully realized and there is a feeling that it could have been sooooo much better.
What's good-
Interesting premise.
Nice action sequences.
Amusing sarcastic writing style.
What's bad-
Thinly crafted characters.
Too much time spent lovingly describing wounds and pain.
Too much suspension of disbelief is required to truly invest emotionally in the tale.
In a nutshell, this story has no real heft. It's a poorly made Halloween mask from the $1.99 bargain bin; it's scary if it's dark out and you squint your eyes just right, otherwise it's just cheaply painted rubber and matted fantasy fur.
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- Aubrey Maxwell
- 06-06-20
Interesting to say the least.
I really liked the concept of this story. The narrator was so-so. Overall, a good read (listen).
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- Roger
- 10-07-19
An Imaginative Ride
A rather thrilling and exciting adventure into horror. Had some very interesting monsters and characters.
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- Wolft1113
- 09-14-22
Haunted Forest Tour is a great read
didn't want to stop listening the whole way through. keeps your attention the whole way through
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- Peggy ~~°°~~
- 09-05-19
The action keeps going Freedom beginning to end!
Loved the characters & especially the monsters. All the different kinds of monsters from werewolves, dragons, ogres, to flaming Hell Hounds. It was all pretty good except for the periodic call backs to the various female character's tits and @ss as the death & disaster unfolded. It just didn't fit quite right & seemed inappropriate and out of place. Overall, I liked the story & characters.
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- kathy pappas
- 03-01-23
Good God is this good!
This is an amazing book !!! My gosh , edge of your seat good ! The story , the narrator , the chills and thrills . I just can't believe how good it is !
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- microkat
- 04-04-23
Fun
Fun horror read? I enjoyed the characters . Though the ending was a little rushed it seemed to me.
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