Connecting Through "Yes!"
How to Agree When You Don't Agree to Get Cooperation and Closeness in Your Marriage
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Narrated by:
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Scott Ellis
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By:
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Jack Ito Ph.D.
About this listen
Do you want to turn your relationship crisis into relational connection?
Do you want a way to improve your relationship without counseling?
What if the way you say things to your partner could re-connect you?
And, what if it's easier than you think?
For more than two decades, Jack Ito, PhD, has coached thousands of men and women to rescue and rebuild their relationships in the wake of relationship disasters including affairs, psychological problems, addictions, and total loss of love by one partner. In this groundbreaking book, he uses effective communication techniques to help you turn any marital conflict situation into an opportunity for emotional connection.
Dr. Ito's methods for building connection are empowering. In this book, he teaches the difference between sincere agreement and giving in (giving in actually reduces attraction), how to deal with an angry partner, a rejecting partner, and an uncooperative partner. Many people either argue with or avoid such partners, which only creates more distance in the relationship. If you have ever tried to end conflict or build your relationship by arguing with or avoiding your partner, you know it just doesn't work.
And, while giving space may reduce conflict, it never does anything to actually repair the damage to your relationship. Healing can happen even when you think your relationship is over. By learning to verbally get on your partner's side, you will end all resistance and remove the elephant from the room. This will also remove the tension from your relationship and allow you and your spouse to begin to enjoy being with each other again.
©2013 Jack Ito Ph.D. (P)2017 Jack Ito Ph.D.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Victim blaming
- By Michelle Johann on 08-31-18
By: Judy Corcoran, and others
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Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away
- By: Gary Chapman
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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When you said, “I do”, you entered marriage with high hopes, dreaming it would be supremely happy. You never intended for it to be miserable. Millions of couples are struggling in desperate marriages. But the story doesn’t have to end there. Dr. Gary Chapman writes, “I believe that in every troubled marriage, one or both partners can take positive steps that have the potential for changing the emotional climate in their marriage.”
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encouragement through another chance
- By Brookley on 09-19-18
By: Gary Chapman
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The No Contact Rule
- By: Natalie Lue
- Narrated by: Lucy Price-Lewis
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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You're trying to get over your ex, yet you're still in touch and have ended up being his or her backup plan. Maybe you haven't left yet, but you want to and just don't know how. Maybe you're tired of doing the lather, rinse, repeat of getting back together and winding up back at square one. It's time to cut contact. The No Contact Rule is an inspiring guide to extinguishing the temptation to stay in touch or to keep engaging, helping you to reclaim your sense of self and move on to a healthier relationship.
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I can not recomment this book highly enough!
- By Amazon Customer on 02-14-17
By: Natalie Lue
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Deal Breakers
- When to Work on a Relationship and When to Walk Away
- By: Dr. Bethany Marshall
- Narrated by: Renée Raudman
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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This is a book about men. Not all men, just emotionally unhealthy men. The ones who make you question, "Is it him or is it me? Am I making too big a deal out of this? I try to tell him how I feel, but he says I'm overreacting or needy or it's all my fault". Relationships are hard work, but how hard should they be? When do you know you are struggling too hard to make a relationship succeed?
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I Cried Thru The First Thirty Minutes...
- By Kimberley on 02-20-08
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Love Is Never Enough
- How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve Relationship Problems Through Cognitive Therapy
- By: Aaron T. Beck MD
- Narrated by: Bob Dio
- Length: 12 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Love Is Never Enough explores the most common problems in marriage: the power of negative thinking, disillusionment, rigid rules and expectations, and miscommunication. These issues can be approached through cognitive therapy, in which thinking through and reasoning are used to counteract the poor communication that so often erodes relationships. With eloquence and accessibility, Aaron T. Beck, MD, shows how effective communication can restore and strengthen the ties and bonds between couples.
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Great book with help for sticky points
- By Ernest Maifrini on 10-22-16
By: Aaron T. Beck MD
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How to Keep People from Pushing Your Buttons
- By: Albert Ellis Ph.D., Arthur Lange Ed.D., Kristene A. Doyle - foreword Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), created by world-renowned therapist Dr. Albert Ellis, provides you with realistic, simple, proven techniques that will significantly reduce your stress levels and help you react effectively, whether the circumstances are professional or personal.
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Watch out for self-inflicted button pushing
- By Marcheta on 02-15-17
By: Albert Ellis Ph.D., and others
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I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You
- Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship
- By: Andrew G. Marshall
- Narrated by: Andrew G. Marshall
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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In I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You - a real-life relationship guide from couples' counselor Andrew G. Marshall - partners and individuals who have "fallen out of love" or want to rekindle the love that once was will learn how to use Marshall 's program with impressive results. This is a much-needed book to help men and women of all ages in any type of committed romantic relationship to truly understand love and to point out the everyday habits that undermine growing together.
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If you feel stuck in a relationship, this book is a MUST!
- By Christopher on 05-09-19
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Loving People
- How to Love and Be Loved
- By: John Townsend
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling author Dr. John Townsend teaches you that love can actually be learned and gives you the steps and tools to become skilled in love. Using his trademark stories to flesh out the important principles, Dr. Townsend covers receiving love, connecting love, healing love, confronting love, romantic love, and surrendering love. Through his teaching, listeners will discover - and start enjoying - the words, actions, and experiences of authentic love.
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Very insightful
- By Amazon Customer on 05-17-19
By: John Townsend
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The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
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People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys
- By: Mike Bechtle
- Narrated by: Mike Bechtle
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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You don't have to be controlled by difficult people! Strange as it may seem, other people are not nearly as committed to our happiness as we are. In fact, sometimes it seems like they’re on a mission to make us miserable! There’s always that one person. The one who hijacks our emotions. The one who seems to thrive on drama. If we could just “fix” that person, everything would be better. But we can’t fix other people. We can only make choices about ourselves.
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Riddles With Religious Overtones
- By Y. Martin on 05-22-13
By: Mike Bechtle
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10 Stupid Things Couples Do To Mess Up Their Relationships
- By: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Narrated by: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Length: 2 hrs and 37 mins
- Abridged
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In Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships, Dr. Laura Schlessinger calls for a return to traditional courtship. Courtship allows couples and their families to get acquainted with each other over a longer period of time, and provides structure and guidelines for that important process.
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No brainer ideas that we can forget
- By Ali0531 on 07-06-15
What listeners say about Connecting Through "Yes!"
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Lisa Durham
- 07-14-18
Amazing to say the least!!
I know that the teachings in this book will Bless my life!! I'm so excited to try the skills out.
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- ReviewThis&That
- 01-29-21
MUST READ FOR ANY COUPLE
This will be part of my wedding gift to all and any bride and groom I know.
I wish I discovered this book in the very beginning of my marriage. I will be buying this very book and all books Jack Ito has written. He made me laugh while learning so much at the very same time. My husband is finally responding to what I’m saying since I tried the agreement method. Oh and the guy narrating the book is AMAZING!! Thank you. Thank you.
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- Jennifer
- 04-18-19
Waste of time
There may be some nuggets of good advice in here, but...
1) I find it hard to take the guy seriously with the lack of understanding of the concept of evolution and the excessive Bible references. If I want a religious lecture I'll look for a minister.
2) A lot of the agreement examples feel somewhere between condescending and manipulative. If my spouse "agreed" with me in that way I would be more angry and driven away rather than feeling more cooperative and close.
The overall reading was ok, but the sample couple exchanges were really stiff and fake. A lot of that is the writing but some of it was the performance.
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1 person found this helpful