Diddly Squat Audiobook By Jeremy Clarkson cover art

Diddly Squat

A Year on the Farm

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Diddly Squat

By: Jeremy Clarkson
Narrated by: Jeremy Clarkson
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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

Welcome to Jeremy's farm. It's an idyllic spot, offering picturesque views across the Cotswolds, bustling hedgerows, woodlands and natural springs. Jeremy always liked the idea of being a farmer. But, while he was barrelling around the world having more fun with cars than was entirely reasonable, it seemed obvious that the actual, you know, farming was much better left to someone else.

Then one day he decided he would do the farming himself.

After all, how hard could it be?

Well...

Faced with suffocating red tape, biblical weather, local objections, a global pandemic and his own frankly staggering ignorance of how to 'do farming', Jeremy soon realises that turning the farm around is going to take more than splashing out on a massive tractor.

Fortunately, there's help at hand from a large and (mostly) willing team, including girlfriend Lisa, Kaleb the tractor driver, cheerful Charlie, Ellen the shepherd and Gerald, his head of security and dry stone waller. Between them they enthusiastically cultivate crops, rear livestock and hens, keep bees, bottle spring water and open a farm shop. But profits remain elusive.

And yet, while the farm may be called Diddly Squat for good reason, Jeremy soon begins to understand that it's worth a whole lot more to him than pounds, shillings and pence....

©2021 Jeremy Clarkson (P)2021 Penguin Audio
Comedy & Humor Entertainment & Celebrities Celebrity Funny Witty

Critic reviews

"The best thing Clarkson's done...it pains me to say this." (Guardian)

"Shockingly hopeful." (Independent)

"Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here." (Telegraph)

What listeners say about Diddly Squat

Highly rated for:

Humorous Storytelling Engaging Farmer's Life Self-narrated Audiobook Insightful Societal Commentary
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Very Entertaining

If you’ve watched his show, this will be a nice complement. Though it’s only 2.5hr, I wish it could be longer.

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How hard farming sounds

Farming sounds hard! The book is great fun and I love the soothing voice of Jeremy Clarkson!

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Absolutely brilliant

If you like Jeremy Clarkson then you will love this. Absolute perfection. Jeremy narrated just like he does on TV. Amusing, educational and interesting. I was very disappointed when I came to the end.

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Brilliant

Fantastic book, it’s interesting and funny, can’t really go wrong with Clarkson. Good read! Highly recommend.

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Top-notch as always

Three cheers for Jeremy! Excellent reading, excellent content, and his passion for farming and government over each is beyond evident. Love it.

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"40p per day."

This is a collection of articles written for the Sunday Times by Clarkson, some 20 in total plus an introduction and conclusion, and read by him with occasional side comments. Each is interspersed with sounds from the countryside making it very easy to select a quick 'episode' to fill a full moment. This book is a real joy, Clarkson both silly using and berating, well, everything all in the space of a few minutes.Titles include, 'What's Wrong With My Crops?', 'Why every Farmer Needs A Flamethrower', and 'Sheep are Vindictive. Even in Death'.

Loved it. More, please.

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it is jeremey clarkson

Although I watched the show, I loved the book as well. Worth listening to.

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If Clarkson is struggling, what’s for the rest of the farmers!

Seeing that a man with vast funding still struggles to perform farming at a medium scale and turn a profit really put in perspective how hard the system and the environment is for farming communities in England.

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Informative and hilarious

Fascinating and well worth the listen/read. Eye opening, honest information. Wish I'd bought this sooner.

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Absolutely bloody brilliant 👏🏻

Well done Jezza. Its great to hear you reading it to us. Can't wait for season 2 and the next book👍🏻

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