Earth Fathers Are Weird
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Narrated by:
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John Solo
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By:
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Lyn Gala
About this listen
Captain Maxwell Davis and his entire unit scrambled to engage alien ships over Iowa. The aliens snatched him out of his destroyed jet before they continued on their interplanetary hot pursuit. Then they informed Max that Earth was too far outside regular shipping lanes to return him to his planet.
So Max ends up in an alien spaceport looking for work. To afford a ticket home he can either spend 300 years working with linguists to improve the computer's questionable ability to translate English or he can take a job as a nanny for an unpopular alien. That way he can afford the ticket in four years. The problem is that the computer may have mistranslated the word "nanny" and there might be a reason an alien is willing to pay such a high fee.
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- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 11 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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From birth to death, The War is all the citizens of Dystance know. As children it is drilled into their heads that war is the purpose behind all existence. Winter doesn't agree. She's stumbled across remnants of life the way it was before The War began, and now she longs to be as free as her ancestors. With help from her best friend Cedar and the boy she is forbidden to love, Tallow. She believes she can do it. Winter can see a life beyond the Pickets, beyond the constant hunger and the threat of death, beyond the war machine.
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Unbelievable, melodramatic romance.
- By Lynn A Blankenship on 03-28-19
By: Mark Tufo
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Living Starship 1
- The Last Symbiotes, Book 1
- By: Dante King
- Narrated by: Heather Stonewell, Wayne Kelly
- Length: 12 hrs and 27 mins
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Captain James Decker has lived a life of hunting, killing, and earning credits. To some, it hasn’t amounted to much, but to him, it’s led to him captaining the SC Fortune, a space cruiser with a competent crew that he’s grown fond of. After accepting a bounty hunting mission with a beautiful blonde woman as the mark, Decker finds himself soon without a ship and a crew. But as luck would have it, this same mission gives him back what he lost: a new ship and a new crew.
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Narration and internal monolog !!
- By CooJo on 02-16-23
By: Dante King
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Bloodline: ScourgeWorld, Book 1
- By: Jaeger Mitchells
- Narrated by: Marissa Parness, Alex Perone
- Length: 15 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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The world isn't what it used to be after the first apocalypse. Scourge roam the desolate wasteland, preying on whoever dares set foot outside the few remaining Megapolis. While enforcing tax from the local province, Raiden and the Mercenary Union's cultivator team come face to face with the latest the Scourge could throw at them: monstrosities far beyond their capabilities. Surviving an onslaught they shouldn't have, the small group manages to find their way home, only to get caught up in a decades-old political play for power.
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If it wasn’t for the main character
- By Randy Smith on 09-23-20
By: Jaeger Mitchells
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Guardian Ship
- By: Mark Wayne McGinnis
- Narrated by: Adam Gold
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
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Dominic Moretti was dealing with a lot of issues. Life hadn’t been easy since returning home from Afghanistan. His marriage was on the rocks, his sports betting was out of control, and he was hanging out with the wrong cronies in Manhattan’s Little Italy - just another war hero who couldn’t piece his life back together in the real world. Also, there was that strange, annoying feeling that he was being watched.... Humankind was indeed being evaluated, by the highly advanced Khantam Lom, an alien species in control of much of the galaxy.
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Different and enjoyable story concept
- By Dennis on 10-04-19
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Pawn
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- By: Timothy Zahn
- Narrated by: Joel Richards
- Length: 11 hrs and 35 mins
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Nicole Lee's life is going nowhere. No family, no money, and stuck in a relationship with a thug named Bungie. But, after one of Bungie's "deals" goes south, he and Nicole are whisked away by a mysterious moth-like humanoid to a strange ship called the Fyrantha. Once aboard, life on the ship seems too good to be true. All she has to do is work on one of the ship's many maintenance crews. However, she learned long ago that nothing comes without a catch. When she's told to keep quiet and stop asking questions, she knows she is on to something.
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Things Are Not What They Seem
- By J. Jones on 05-27-18
By: Timothy Zahn
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Ecstasy from the Deep
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- By: Octavia Kore
- Narrated by: J.F. Harding
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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The seemingly endless war with the Grutex has caused many inconveniences for Amanda, but none of those have been as bad as losing the funding for the project she is working on, which is supposed to help save humanity. When she foolishly risks her life to continue her research, Amanda is thrown into the path of an alien, the likes of which she has never seen, who claims she is his mate. The problem is, he isn’t the only one making that claim.
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Damsel dumb heroine YUCK
- By Dae on 02-27-21
By: Octavia Kore
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Discount Armageddon
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- By: Seanan McGuire
- Narrated by: Emily Bauer
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
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The Price family has spent generations studying the monsters of the world, working to protect them from humanity - and humanity from them. Enter Verity Price. Despite being trained from birth as a cryptozoologist, she'd rather dance a tango than tangle with a demon, and is spending a year in Manhattan while she pursues her career in professional ballroom dance. Sounds pretty simple, right?
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I love this book!
- By a on 11-21-12
By: Seanan McGuire
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No Planet for Good Men: A Sheriff Duke Story
- Forgotten Fallout, Book 1
- By: M.R. Forbes
- Narrated by: Jonathan Davis
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
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Earth. After the invasion. The planet is in ruins. Humankind struggles to survive. Hayden is a Sheriff in a world without law. A good man in a world gone bad. He knows the fallout of an alien attack when he sees it. He's never seen anything like this before. Isaac is a Marine in a world without order. A good man with troubles of his own. His mission was to protect the innocent, including his son. Instead, he's the only survivor.
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A Sheriff in Battle Armor
- By Sailfish on 11-04-19
By: M.R. Forbes
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Warden
- By: Natalie Grey, Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Chris Andrew Ciulla
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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When Barnabas discovers one of the biggest players in his sector, he vows to bring them down. But can he handle an entire fleet bearing down on him?
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Great series..
- By Trish R. on 08-10-21
By: Natalie Grey, and others
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Titanborn
- By: Rhett C. Bruno
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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After decades hunting wanted offworlders throughout the solar system, Corporate Bounty Hunter Malcolm Graves doesn't bother asking questions. So long as the pay is right, he's the man for the job. And he always works alone. But when a high-profile bombing on Earth has Pervenio Corp clamoring for answers, they force him to team up with a strange, cyber-augmented partner. A young man more interested in statistics than instinct. Their assignment: Track down a suspected group of extremists from Titan who will go to any length to free their moon from the grip of Earth's corporations.
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Great Mystery Sci-fi
- By Bryan on 02-08-19
By: Rhett C. Bruno
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Andromeda Rising
- A Blood on the Stars Adventure
- By: Jay Allan
- Narrated by: Allyson Johnson
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
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An industrial hell. The foulest and most decrepit slum on Parsephon. A nest of human misery, where hope is word long forgotten, and the dead are carted away every day. It is the worst pit in the Confederation’s great industrial machine known as the Iron Belt. Among the millions born into misery, poverty, and despair under the dark and smoky haze that covers the planet, Andromeda Lafarge is unique. One lost soul among billions, she is tough, relentless, determined to get out, to escape, to blaze her own trail, and to make a name for herself across the stars.
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Jay Allan Doesn’t Disappoint!
- By Loraki on 08-17-19
By: Jay Allan
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What listeners say about Earth Fathers Are Weird
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Eugenia
- 05-13-20
What makes a family? My guess: LOVE & TENTACLES!
<b>**AUDIOBOOK: May 2020 ❤️❤️❤️ I LOVED IT SO HARD!!! What a fabulous performance by the incomparable John Solo—can he do space or can he do space?!
How happy was I to get to listen to this story on audiobook...I NEED a FOLLOW-UP because Max and Rick & the offspring are simply precious!
I loved the ebook and now THIS! I already want to relisten to it. ❤️🌈🙌
Original ebook review: March 2019
You had me at tentacles, Lyn Gala. I absolutely DEVOURED this! 4.5 Squiggly Stars!!!
Imagine: alien ships come zipping around our modern day planet. Our fighter jets fly off to save the planet from alien invaders. One mouthy pilot goes for a Hail Mary and gets captured.
Welcome to a spaceport not even George Lucas could have imagined! Say hello to tentacles of all flavors and sizes!
So what happens to our stranded pilot? He needs cash to get home so he takes a job as a “nanny” for an alien from a disliked species. After his initial medical exam, which has an unexpected happy ending, said pilot is left to his own devices.
Where are the kids? He must wait to meet them. In the meantime he spends his days working on translations, running around the ship, swimming, and hanging out with Rick, our asymmetrical tentacled alien with a smattering of eyes all around his head.
Being the smart, deductive reader that you are, you can guess why our smarmy pilot has yet to meet the kids he is supposed to nanny.
Imagine Hunk Solo’s surprise when he figures it out!
There it is, all laid out for you. And while that bit of exposition was fun, it’s nothing to what comes next!!! Wow!!
You simply MUST READ THIS!!!! HEA to the moon and beyond!!
I am closing with: TENTACLED BABIES ARE THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!!!
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6 people found this helpful
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- Phillip
- 05-21-22
Oddly Intriguing
This author brilliantly, but oddly creates characters and situations that reflect the barriers most of us find in our world today. The LGBTQ reader is able to relate feelings about the characters and situations to their own experiences. Feelings referred to involve connections to other individuals who may be considered taboo to one's own social, political, or spiritual group as well as barriers one creates within ones self. Medical processes that occurred in this story were dealt with using correct physiological and bodily response to the conditions affecting the characters. This is an enjoyable story if you don't mind male ejaculations and rectal stimulation.
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- Trio
- 03-29-21
One of my favorites, 5 ⭐ for John Solo
What a treat to revisit this amazing story, performed by John Solo! If you haven't read it yet, here's the perfect excuse to give it a go.
No one can build a love story between a man and an alien, and have it tug on my heartstrings, quite like Lyn Gala. Her new novel, Earth Fathers Are Weird, is a tender and passionate romance, and it’s chock full of the creative extra-terrestrial stuff she does so well. Don’t even think of calling this tentacle porn (well, maybe just a little…).
When alien spaceships invade Earth’s airspace, Air Force captain Maxwell Davis is rescued from his doomed fighter jet and set down on a planet far from Earth. Hoping to earn enough money to return home he accepts a position as a nanny - a decision which changes his life in ways he could never have imagined.
His new employer, an octopus-like alien whom Max calls Rick, patiently guides Max through his adjustment. Happy to find a purpose, Max embraces his lot and plans to make the most of his new life.
Told from Max’s point-of-view, there are wonderful descriptions of the aliens he encounters, the technology he learns to use, and his interactions with Rick. Despite the language barrier, and that Max has no frame of reference for this species, these two start to bond. As he gains a deeper understanding of Rick’s actions and emotions, he’s pleased to see their connection is mutual.
Max is such an open and caring person, and so deserving of love, I’m thrilled he finds Rick. And it appears he’s found a kindred spirit. The way these guys look beyond their physical differences, and focus on what’s inside, is a testament to the depth of their relationship.
As her fans expect, Ms. Gala does a wonderful job with the science fictiony aspect of Earth Fathers Are Weird. Building a world filled with imaginative technology and unique life forms, she also lays the groundwork for a plot which will (hopefully) carry over to many more books to come. I would love to see where Max and Rick go from here.
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- Trarv211
- 02-12-22
such a fun tale
I love this story so much. The miscommunication, the getting to know each other, the fear.
Narrator, John Solo has done another amazing job giving life to all these characters.
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- Summer
- 06-18-21
Super Cute Story
This was such a good story! It was super sweet and cute and I'm so glad I decided to listen to it. The narrator did a fantastic job at bringing the story to life. I can't wait to get and listen to the second one.
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2 people found this helpful
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- T Hugs
- 11-12-21
Fun book
I liked this book. The audible narration was good, and the story was interesting. If you like sci-fi/romance books (and tentacled aliens) you’d like this.
I read the first and second book. Both were fun and interesting. I am really hoping there will be a third.
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1 person found this helpful
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- santana
- 05-11-20
Fantastic
Really enjoyed this audiobook, lyn gala did a great job writing this book and John solo really brought it to life.
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- Gus
- 07-28-20
Surprisingly good
Honestly bought this as a joke, and didn't expect to get invested in the characters. It's a darn good romance.
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- Bad wolf
- 05-20-20
very impressed
I put this back off for a little while because I thought it sounded weird but then I started it and it's actually a really good book really sweet touching and interesting I would recommend it to most
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- DugFinn
- 07-14-24
Super cute story!
So this story starts off a bit wild and confusing, mostly because of the language barrier between the human and the aliens. However, stick with it and it'll soon make a lot more sense once the language barrier starts to breach. Then it becomes a super sweet story about found love and family. The narrator is pretty good and the author is writing is on point. All in all, it's a fun story. Nothing groundbreaking or earth-shattering, but it is sweet. If you're looking for a good pallet cleanser story, this is a good one.
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