Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead
A Novel
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Narrated by:
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Emily Tremaine
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By:
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Emily Austin
About this listen
In this “fun, page-turner of a novel” (Sarah Haywood, New York Times best-selling author) that’s perfect for fans of Mostly Dead Things and Goodbye, Vitamin, a morbidly anxious young woman stumbles into a job as a receptionist at a Catholic church and soon finds herself obsessed with her predecessor’s mysterious death.
Gilda, a 20-something, atheist, animal-loving lesbian, cannot stop ruminating about death. Desperate for relief from her panicky mind and alienated from her repressive family, she responds to a flyer for free therapy at a local Catholic church, and finds herself being greeted by Father Jeff, who assumes she’s there for a job interview. Too embarrassed to correct him, Gilda is abruptly hired to replace the recently deceased receptionist Grace.
In between trying to memorize the lines to Catholic mass, hiding the fact that she has a new girlfriend, and erecting a dirty dish tower in her crumbling apartment, Gilda strikes up an email correspondence with Grace’s old friend. She can’t bear to ignore the kindly old woman who has been trying to reach her friend through the church inbox, but she also can’t bring herself to break the bad news. Desperate, she begins impersonating Grace via email. But when the police discover suspicious circumstances surrounding Grace’s death, Gilda may have to finally reveal the truth of her mortifying existence.
With a “kindhearted heroine we all need right now” (Courtney Maum, New York Times best-selling author), Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead is a crackling and “delightfully weird reminder that we will one day turn to dust and that yes, this is depressing, but it’s also what makes life beautiful” (Jean Kyoung Frazier, author of Pizza Girl).
©2021 Emily Austin. All rights reserved (P)2021 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reservedListeners also enjoyed...
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When Lena Johnson’s beloved grandmother dies, and the full extent of the family debt is revealed, the Black millennial drops out of college to support her family and takes a job in the mysterious and remote town of Lakewood, Michigan. On paper, her new job is too good to be true. High paying. No out of pocket medical expenses. A free place to live. All Lena has to do is participate in a secret program - and lie to her friends and family about the research being done in Lakewood.
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Fact or Fiction
- By Penda K on 06-09-20
By: Megan Giddings
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The Last Time We Say Goodbye
- By: Cynthia Hand
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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The last time Lex was happy, it was before. When she had a family that was whole. A boyfriend she loved. Friends who didn't look at her like she might break down at any moment. Now she's just the girl whose brother killed himself. And it feels like that's all she'll ever be. As Lex starts to put her life back together, she tries to block out what happened the night Tyler died. But there's a secret she hasn't told anyone--a text Tyler sent that could have changed everything.
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Such sweet sorrow
- By Lesaly on 04-26-15
By: Cynthia Hand
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Inheriting Edith
- A Novel
- By: Zoe Fishman
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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For years Maggie Sheets has been an invisible hand in the glittering homes of wealthy New York City clients, scrubbing, dusting, mopping, and doing all she can to keep her head above water as a single mother. Everything changes when a former employer dies, leaving Maggie a staggering inheritance - a house in Sag Harbor. The catch? It comes with an inhabitant: the deceased's 82-year old mother, Edith.
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Narrator is distracting.
- By Onelove on 05-13-20
By: Zoe Fishman
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The End of Eve
- A Memoir
- By: Ariel Gore
- Narrated by: Ariel Gore
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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At age 39, Ariel Gore has everything she’s always wanted: a successful writing career, a long-term partnership, a beautiful if tiny home, a daughter in college and a son in preschool. But life’s happy endings don’t always last. If it’s not one thing, after all, it’s your mother. Her name is Eve. Her epic temper tantrums have already gotten her banned from three cab companies in Portland. And she’s here to announce that she’s dying.
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Get Ready for a Bumpy Ride
- By Susie on 03-06-14
By: Ariel Gore
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Future Home of the Living God
- A Novel
- By: Louise Erdrich
- Narrated by: Louise Erdrich
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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The world as we know it is ending. Evolution has reversed itself, affecting every living creature on earth. Science cannot stop the world from running backward, as woman after woman gives birth to infants that appear to be primitive species of humans. Thirty-two-year-old Cedar Hawk Songmaker, adopted daughter of a pair of big-hearted, open-minded Minneapolis liberals, is as disturbed and uncertain as the rest of America around her. But for Cedar, this change is profound and deeply personal. She is four months pregnant.
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“Nolite te bastardes carborundorum”
- By Mel on 11-27-17
By: Louise Erdrich
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Love Walked In
- By: Marisa de los Santos
- Narrated by: Jennifer Ikeda
- Length: 11 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Award-winning poet Marisa de los Santos crafts an irresistibly touching debut novel. Love Walked In is a contemporary tale, steeped in nostalgic, cinematic charm, of love in all its forms. Unapologetically idealistic about love, Cornelia Brown appears to catch the break of a lifetime when the dashing Martin Grace, her own personal Cary Grant, comes strolling into her life. But it is Martin's connection to 11-year-old Clare Hobbes that touches Cornelia's heart in ways she never imagined.
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Dreadful audio quality
- By Marenghi on 09-16-11
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No Hiding in Boise
- By: Kim Hooper
- Narrated by: Devon Sorvari, Stephanie Willing, Hillary Huber, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Angie is awakened by a midnight call from an officer with the Boise Police Department and thinks there must be a misunderstanding. The officer tells her that her husband was involved in a shooting at a local bar, but how can that be when her husband is sleeping right next to her? But when she turns to wake him, he isn’t there. Tessa is the 23-year-old bartender who escapes to a backroom storage closet during the shooting. When it comes to light that five people were killed, she is burdened with the question of why she survived.
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fantastic audio involving contemporary issues
- By Barbara S on 07-07-21
By: Kim Hooper
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Man Alive
- A True Story of Violence, Forgiveness and Becoming a Man
- By: Thomas Page McBee
- Narrated by: Thomas Page McBee
- Length: 3 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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What does it really mean to be a man? In Man Alive, Thomas Page McBee attempts to answer that question by focusing on two of the men who most impacted his life - one, his otherwise ordinary father who abused him as a child, and the other, a mugger who almost killed him. Standing at the brink of the life-changing decision to transition from female to male, McBee seeks to understand these examples of flawed manhood and tells us how a brush with violence sent him on the quest to untangle a sinister past and freed him to become the man he was meant to be.
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Worth a listen
- By Kade on 05-30-18
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Angels Burning
- By: Tawni O'Dell
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 10 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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On the surface, Chief Dove Carnahan is a true trailblazer who would do anything to protect the rural Pennsylvanian countryside where she has lived all 50 of her years. Traditional and proud of her blue-collar sensibilities, Dove is loved by her community. But beneath her badge lies a dark and self-destructive streak, fed by a secret she has kept since she was 16.
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It was just ok
- By ckal36 on 06-27-23
By: Tawni O'Dell
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Vivian Apple at the End of the World
- By: Katie Coyle
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Seventeen-year-old Vivian Apple never believed in the evangelical Church of America, unlike her recently devout parents. But when Vivian returns home the night after the supposed 'Rapture,' all that's left of her parents are two holes in the roof. Suddenly, she doesn't know who or what to believe. With her best friend Harp and a mysterious ally, Peter, Vivian embarks on a desperate cross-country road trip through a paranoid and panic-stricken America to find answers.
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juvenile
- By emily on 12-16-19
By: Katie Coyle
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Gone Again
- A Thriller
- By: Minka Kent
- Narrated by: Teri Schnaubelt, Gabra Zackman
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
On her fortieth birthday, Celia Guest has reason to celebrate. She has a loving marriage, a beautiful Connecticut home, and treasured friends. Celia has everything she’s ever wanted. But among the cards and well-wishes, she discovers a disturbing note: You don’t deserve any of this. Who could be so cruel, so resentful, so…knowing? Then, in the early morning hours, Celia vanishes without a trace.
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Nothing really happens
- By A reader on 04-11-23
By: Minka Kent
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The Story of Arthur Truluv
- A Novel
- By: Elizabeth Berg
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Berg
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Three people find their way back from loss and loneliness to a different kind of belonging in this deeply moving novel. Arthur, an old widower struggling to overcome his grief, meets Maddy, a troubled teenage girl who avoids school by hiding out where Arthur goes every day for lunch. The two strike up a friendship that draws them out of isolation.
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Sickly Sweet
- By Amazon Customer on 01-19-18
By: Elizabeth Berg
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The Third Wife
- A Novel
- By: Lisa Jewell
- Narrated by: Joe Jameson
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the early hours of a summer morning, a young woman steps into the path of an oncoming bus. A tragic accident? Or suicide? At the center of this puzzle is Adrian Wolfe, a successful architect and grief-stricken widower, who, a year after his third wife's death, begins to investigate the cause. As Adrian looks back on their brief but seemingly happy marriage, disturbing secrets begin to surface. The divorces from his two previous wives had been amicable, or so it seemed; his children, all five of them, were resilient as ever, or so he thought.
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Not a mystery
- By Susan on 07-06-18
By: Lisa Jewell
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Tom Lowe’s identity and his pride are invested in the work he does with his back and his hands. He designed and built his family’s dream home, working extra hours to pay off the adjustable rate mortgage he took on the property, convinced he is making every sacrifice for the happiness of his wife and son. Until, in a moment of fatigued inattention, shingling a roof in too-bright sunlight, he falls. In constant pain, addicted to painkillers at the cost of his relationships with his wife and son, Tom slowly comes to realize that he can never work again.
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Malice
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Princess Aurora. The last heir to Briar’s throne. Kind. Gracious. The future queen her realm needs. One who isn’t bothered that I am Alyce, the Dark Grace, abhorred and feared for the mysterious dark magic that runs in my veins. Humiliated and shamed by the same nobles who pay me to bottle hexes and then brand me a monster. Aurora says I should be proud of my gifts. That she...cares for me. Even though a power like mine was responsible for her curse. But with less than a year until that curse will kill her, any future I might see with Aurora is swiftly disintegrating
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Couldn't stop listening.
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Acts of Desperation
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In the first scene of this provocative gut-punch of a novel, our unnamed narrator meets a magnetic writer named Ciaran and falls, against her better judgment, completely in his power. After a brief, all-consuming romance, he abruptly rejects her, sending her into a tailspin of jealous obsession and longing. If he ever comes back to her, she resolves to hang onto him and his love at all costs, even if it destroys her.
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What listeners say about Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- ivanka
- 12-09-23
Review
It is very good story about a life perspective. The biggest part in it is the fear. Some parts are so boring even though the narratives go smoothly and fast. Overall, it is good, especially the end. If I know to right better, I would. ✌🏻
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- Teresa Gregory
- 07-13-21
Unexpectedly Entertaining
I don't remember how I discovered this book. The premise intrigued me. This book is both funny and poignant. I did laugh out loud several times. I admired Gilda's ingenuity in hiding her secrets while feeling sorry that she felt she had to. I hope she has a better life going forward, and I think she will.
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3 people found this helpful
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- KM
- 05-25-22
Boo hoo Protagonist
Sorry, this is the first bad review for me to have to write. This main character is too whiny for enjoyment.
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- K Nieto
- 07-14-21
Gilda & Eleanor Would be Friends
If you liked “Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine”, this should be your next listen. It is a raw, laugh-out-loud story about mental health and feeling like nothing matters while also feeling like everything matters. Cannot recommend enough.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Schabel
- 07-13-21
Gilda says the things we all are thinking
This book touches on it all. The extraordinary of the ordinary such as hearing a loved one laugh. Family denial and pretending not to see what is right in front of them. Gilda deals with depression in such a honest and funny way that was delivered perfectly by the narrator. Gilda is a cool character to take a journey with .
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2 people found this helpful
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- Mandie Sawyer
- 09-18-22
Very similar to Eleanor Oliphant
It’s was pretty good overall, I was rooting for the main character and invested in the story.
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- DJ in Memphis
- 08-03-21
A Little Dark.
Amusing, got sorta morbid a few times.
Not something to cheer you up. Not bad.
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- Michele
- 09-07-21
Mindfulness Makes for a Boring Read
Really great idea of a story but read thru the mind of a neurotic practicing mindfulness was so redundant! I didn't need to envision her every observation of every situation she found herself in.
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- Becky Lepinski
- 08-23-22
Couldn’t stop
I loved listening to this book, it was such an adventure through the main characters head and truly a journey for myself on how we see ourselves and how we must honestly deal with the world. Loved it.
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- MandySue Allen
- 08-13-23
Hilarious and Heartbreaking
I loved this book. If you have ever felt misunderstood or questioned everything and you have a bit of a dark sense of humor, read this! It's one of the best books I've listened to in the last few months, and I listen to at least a few a week. I cried and laughed, and I felt everything. Definitely recommend.
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