Ex-Wives of Dracula
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Narrated by:
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Krystal Hammond
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By:
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Georgette Kaplan
About this listen
What's worse than falling in love with a straight girl? Falling in love with a straight girl who drinks blood. And not even in a goth way. This young adult queer romance sucks you in with vampires, paranormal drama, humor, and a quirky lesbian coming-out story.
High school senior Mindy Murphy has been questioning her small town life forever and, more recently, her sexuality. Maybe it has something to do with her new friend, Lucia West. When they were kids they used to be besties, until Lucia grew a head taller and a cup size bigger. Now she's captain of the cheer team, winner of the Boyfriend Olympics, and voted least likely to remember Mindy at their high school reunion.
In short, she's possibly the worst person alive for Mindy to crush on. Especially after Lucia's bitten by a vampire. Now the only way to keep her alive is to get her blood, and the only way to cure her is to slay the vampire that turned her.
Who knows, maybe after they get this vampire business settled, Lucia can explain to Mindy why she kissed her.
Contains mature themes.
©2016 Georgette Kaplan (P)2022 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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Glad This Was Free
- By Shad Huddleston on 04-01-20
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The Taking of Jake Livingston
- By: Ryan Douglass
- Narrated by: Kevin R. Free, Michael Crouch
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Sixteen-year-old Jake Livingston sees dead people everywhere. But he can't decide what's worse: being a medium forced to watch the dead play out their last moments on a loop or being at the mercy of racist teachers as one of the few Black students at St. Clair Prep. Both are a living nightmare he wishes he could wake up from. But things at St. Clair start looking up with the arrival of another Black student - the handsome Allister - and for the first time, romance is on the horizon for Jake. Unfortunately, life as a medium is getting worse.
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Brings up too much trauma
- By TheColorNerd on 10-14-21
By: Ryan Douglass
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To Be With You
- By: TJ O'Shea
- Narrated by: Amy Deuchler
- Length: 16 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Leah Vasquez and Victoria Lockwood should not fall in love. They're smart enough to know a star-crossed lovers situation never works. Leah's a loner from the poor side of town, working two jobs, and aching to leave their sleepy hometown in her rear view forever. Victoria lives in a mansion with her overbearing parents, surrounded by friends and known to none of them, living what others consider a charmed life. When Leah rescues Victoria from a freak rainstorm, they discover an unexpected understanding, and an undeniable spark.
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Excuse Me While I Weep…
- By HunniBFly84 on 10-12-24
By: TJ O'Shea
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The People We Keep
- By: Allison Larkin
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Little River, New York, 1994: April Sawicki is living in a motorless motorhome that her father won in a poker game. Failing out of school, picking up shifts at a local diner, she’s left fending for herself in a town where she’s never quite felt at home. When she “borrows” her neighbor’s car to perform at an open mic night, she realizes her life could be much bigger than where she came from. After a fight with her dad, April packs her stuff and leaves for good, setting off on a journey to find a life that’s all hers.
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Absolutely loved this book!
- By chatteycathi on 08-09-21
By: Allison Larkin
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The Best Laid Plans
- By: Cameron Lund
- Narrated by: Rachel L. Jacobs
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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When the only other virgin in her group of friends loses it at Keely's own 18th birthday party, she's inspired to take things into her own hands. She wants to have that experience too (well, not exactly like that - but with someone she trusts and actually likes), so she's going to need to find the guy, and fast. Problem is, she's known all the boys in her small high school forever, and it's kinda hard to be into a guy when you watched him eat crayons in kindergarten.
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Good
- By Steff on 08-06-20
By: Cameron Lund
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Hidden
- Deep Ops, Book 1
- By: Rebecca Zanetti
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 9 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Malcolm West is fleeing the hell he unleashed in his last assignment as an undercover cop. A backwoods bungalow sounds like the perfect place to start over. Until he discovers he's been set up....
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This series had a bumpy start
- By V from Kansas on 05-18-19
By: Rebecca Zanetti
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Reprieve
- A Novel
- By: James Han Mattson
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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On April 27, 1997, four contestants make it to the final cell of the Quigley House, a full-contact haunted escape room in Lincoln, Nebraska, made famous for its monstrosities, booby-traps, and ghoulishly costumed actors. If the group can endure these horrors without shouting the safe word, “reprieve,” they’ll win a substantial cash prize - a startling feat accomplished only by one other group in the house’s long history. But before they can complete the challenge, a man breaks into the cell and kills one of the contestants.
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creepy escape room story
- By Barbara S on 11-18-21
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enjoyable but.
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Made for the male gaze
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So . . . I didn't handle the zombie apocalypse well. I used to be a third-grade teacher, but since the Gorging, my life has been . . . kinda rotten. I lost my group to the undead, became indebted to one of the gangs, and now I've been sold as a blood-slave. My new owner is Atlan, one of the vampire warriors who guard Blue City's walls and defend us from the zombies. The vampires are like celebrities around here. It's my job to provide Atlan with a clean blood source and any other services he needs.
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Great story
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When Monsters Lie
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They say fire rained from the sky for seven days signaling the arrival of the monsters. They say humanity fought hard to beat them. They say the celestials saved us. They say a lot of things. Me? I deal in the present. In scouting for useful things and keeping my team alive outside the protective walls of our base. I might not have a fancy monster-killing blade like the Sweepers do, but I've avoided getting my face eaten off so far, so I call that a win. But when my base is taken by monsters, my scout skills are the only thing standing between imminent demise and survival.
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Good Book
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Covet Me
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I'm the daughter of the Don, but my life as a mafia princess is far from a fairy-tale. Trapped in a pretty cage, my family clipped my wings so that I can fill the role all princesses are tasked: to marry a prince and secure an alliance. My mob boss father would give anything to gain an edge over the rest of the Supernatural Syndicates in New York—including me.
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Basically bad porn
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By: Kel Carpenter, and others
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An Inheritance of Monsters
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It was an offer too good to refuse: spend one month in the most haunted house in the world. When the reclusive owner of Duskwood Manor opens the door to five teams of paranormal investigators, there's no way my team can say no. But there are no ghosts here. There are monsters. They live under my bed, in my closet, and watch me from the shadows, whispering filthy visions in my ear at night. Begging me to come with them to their world—the Void, where the monsters roam free . . . where they teach me what it really means to want.
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Hot and filled with suspensee
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Heart of Dracula
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Maxine Parker’s life is an agonizingly solitary one, and not by choice. life. Her empathic ability renders it impossible for her to touch a living soul without killing them. But she cannot kill what is already dead. Thrust into the middle of a war between the Vampire King and three stalwart hunters, she finds herself drawn to Dracula’s alluring seduction. Giving in to her attraction to him would mark the end of her life. Will that be the sacrifice required to save the people of Boston from the plague of death closing in on them?
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enjoyable but.
- By Mike on 07-17-22
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Dragon Queens
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With her betrothal imminent, the beautiful Princess Ava has gone missing. Where has she fled to? Why has she gone? And why is the dragon stirring? Enter our hero. Gwen has been hunting wanted criminals for years, collecting bounties to provide for her mother and brother since the death of their father. The promise of an armful of gold for bringing the princess home is too good to ignore. But bringing her home doesn't solve anyone's problems. Gwen still has family to support, and Ava still has a miserable marriage to look forward to.
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Made for the male gaze
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So . . . I didn't handle the zombie apocalypse well. I used to be a third-grade teacher, but since the Gorging, my life has been . . . kinda rotten. I lost my group to the undead, became indebted to one of the gangs, and now I've been sold as a blood-slave. My new owner is Atlan, one of the vampire warriors who guard Blue City's walls and defend us from the zombies. The vampires are like celebrities around here. It's my job to provide Atlan with a clean blood source and any other services he needs.
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Great story
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When Monsters Lie
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They say fire rained from the sky for seven days signaling the arrival of the monsters. They say humanity fought hard to beat them. They say the celestials saved us. They say a lot of things. Me? I deal in the present. In scouting for useful things and keeping my team alive outside the protective walls of our base. I might not have a fancy monster-killing blade like the Sweepers do, but I've avoided getting my face eaten off so far, so I call that a win. But when my base is taken by monsters, my scout skills are the only thing standing between imminent demise and survival.
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Good Book
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By: Debbie Cassidy
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Covet Me
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I'm the daughter of the Don, but my life as a mafia princess is far from a fairy-tale. Trapped in a pretty cage, my family clipped my wings so that I can fill the role all princesses are tasked: to marry a prince and secure an alliance. My mob boss father would give anything to gain an edge over the rest of the Supernatural Syndicates in New York—including me.
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Hot and filled with suspensee
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Feral
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Humans and Werewolves do not mix. I tried that once and all I have to show for it is a broken heart. No thanks. When I have to pretend that Daphne is my mate in order to find the mystical artifact threatening my clan, I know it's going to end badly. But I'll do anything to save my family, so I decide to act like the cheerful bookworm with the body of a goddess doesn't affect me in the least.
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Too slow
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The Order
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When a mysterious, gorgeous woman whisks her onto the dance floor at her father's masquerade ball, Lucy is thrilled to break the shackles of her privileged but purposeless life. But when the same woman kidnaps her and whisks her to the hideout of the rebels fighting to topple the regime she's set to inherit, Lucy isn't thrilled to be actually shackled as a prisoner. She is forced to accompany her abductor—a laconic, rigid assassin named Taylor—across the war-torn regions of the former United States as Taylor carries out perilous assassinations and leads the growing rebel army.
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That was a worth-it marathon
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Wolf Hunts
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Overall
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Story
Calli was born an impossibility. With the dual soul of a shifter and the natural magic of a witch, she was the first known shifter/witch hybrid. But in a world where witches hunt wolves to siphon their magic, and wolves kill witches, no questions asked, could she ever hope to find a place where she belonged?
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I enjoyed it
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Dirty Blood: Books 1-3
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
This audiobook box set includes the first three books of the Dirty Blood series, a enemies-to-lovers dark fantasy romance.
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Amazing story a few weird parts
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Nora's Kraken
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When the Monster Relations Bureau tells me I've been identified as a kraken shifter's mate, my first instinct is to run. I learned the hard way what it means to be treated like someone's possession, and I'm not about to make the same mistake twice. Only, Elias is… different. Patient and careful with me, willing to wait as long as it takes for me to let him in. The more I learn to trust him, and the more he draws me under with the dark temptation of his touch, the more the defenses I've held onto for so long start to crumble.
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narrators were great
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Reign of Night
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Story
Lyssandra’s life is a lie. As a hunter of the Helius Order, she’s dedicated to slaying vampires and protecting the innocent. But she’s also a vampire’s human servant. If her secret comes out, her own order will execute her. When she finds Asher, she’ll cut out his heart for tying her to him, even if he only did it to save her. Even if it kills her too. But when a young girl is found dead, Lyssandra’s mission is derailed. In the gaping hole where the girl’s heart once was, lies a single red rose. Lyssandra has seen the signature before.
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Great book made even better by skilled narrator.
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By: Sara C. Roethle
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A Gargoyle's Delight
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For centuries I have suffered. Solidified and silenced, all because I failed to destroy what I was created for. Except now, after so long… There is a female. One who always seems to be by my side. Day after day. Night after night. She talks to me. Touches me. Tells me things. She shares stories of a world I no longer know. She is a reprieve from my punishment. A sweet delight. She liberates me from my solitude. But when I rise, my adversary seizes his opportunity, and she's caught between us. He only wants her to get to me. She isn't his. And I'll do anything to protect what's mine.
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Nothing like the cartoon Gargoyles
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By: Naomi Lucas, and others
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The Fixer
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Overall
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Story
A naïve activist is hired by a corporate villain but doesn't realize it. Cue one awkward farce, a twisty puzzle, and the slowest of slow burns in this opposites-attract, ice queen romance. Nine years ago, aloof, icy Michelle Hastings chose career over love. She's now living with that choice as she rules a secret corporation catering to the rich and powerful. Enter Eden Lawless. The guileless activist finds it a bit weird being employed by a mystery organization to bring down a corrupt mayor. But, hey, she's up for a challenge. Much harder is getting her beautiful new boss out of her head.
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Panda invasion! All the stars!
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By: Lee Winter
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Malum Discordiae
- Tennebrose, Book 1
- By: Ashlyn Drewek
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- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Like all Necromancers, Cassius Corbin grew up knowing one irrevocable truth: death comes for us all. It was a lesson he learned well when his mother was murdered by fellow witches. Six years later, he is back in the town of Winslow, Massachusetts, to attend Tennebrose University. But that's not the only reason. While he's home, he intends to track down a magical folio stolen from his family centuries ago. Once he finds it, he'll finally be everything the witches in Winslow fear and the Corbin name will be respected once again—as long as Graeme Hewitt stays out of his way.
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Harding is the real magic here.
- By SB84 on 06-29-24
By: Ashlyn Drewek
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Matched to the Minotaur
- Matchmaker Monster Romance, Book 1
- By: Luna Joya
- Narrated by: Kit Swann, Jack Calihan
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
My labyrinth is dying. For my kingdom to survive, I must convince my fated mate to invoke the most ancient of magics—the carnal kind. Too bad my mate's a human who didn't know monsters existed until she saw me.
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2/10 spice
- By Marie on 02-21-24
By: Luna Joya
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Dragon's Dawn
- To Kill a King, Book 1
- By: Sam Burns, W.M. Fawkes
- Narrated by: Kirt Graves, Darcy Stark
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Overall
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Story
For nineteen years, I have carved myself into a dutiful son, a courtier of unimpeachable wit, and a genuine delight at a tea party. Now that my success in society has planted me in the path of Mikhail Vasiliev, it's clear I'd have been better off keeping my head down. Prince Mikhail is the second son of a traitor. Third in line to the throne, he has a reputation for violence, debauchery, and being a thorn in the side of his cousin, King Dmitri. That is until the king decides to get him out of the way—by marrying him off. To me.
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Aaaaaaah!
- By Shinashi on 02-10-24
By: Sam Burns, and others
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A Perfect Fit
- By: Kellan McKnight
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Overall
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Performance
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Parker Chase is everyone's friend and every woman's conquest. She's always looking for her next one-night companion until a statuesque blonde strolls up to her bar one night. She never believed in love at first sight before now, but can she overcome a troublesome past that leaves her feeling unworthy of any lasting affection?
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About damn time!
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By: Kellan McKnight
What listeners say about Ex-Wives of Dracula
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jackso
- 07-28-24
Red/Dead Love
I was beginning to get upset when they parted near the end of the story, but thank you for bringing them back together. Loved this story.
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- Lord Nightshade
- 03-31-23
watch 1992 "Dracula" first
while it's not a direct sequel for legal reasons, I think we all know where Kaplan pulls her characters from. I can't say I've ever ran into Kaplan's work that I didn't thoroughly enjoy. and this is one of them. it starts a bit wonky, but quickly fleshes out into a lovely read, with a very nice conclusion.
my only complaint is that you can tell it was written in 2015, as the idioms, fad words, current events, and film references from that time are all present here. they're a fun snapshot, but the book quickly dates itself because of that.
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- Joel Davison
- 04-03-23
frustrating in the best and worst ways
both characters at times did things that irritated the ever loving crap out of me. I still loved this book and was satisfied at the end. I can appreciate multiple ups and downs, all too many love stories have only one big thing and this story has a few, though one of them was kinda b.s. in my opinion... sorry and narrator were on point though and this should definitely be given a chance!
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- Heidi Jensen
- 09-09-24
Character development
I love this book! Took me by surprise and keep me interested throughout. The narration was spot on and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud with some of the dialogue. I got a little squeamish with all the blood talk… but it was worth it. Should have expected it with vampires 😂
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- Brittanie
- 03-13-24
everything I didn't know I wanted
I had a hard time listening to this in public because I kept laughing out loud. Like, really loud! Definitely the best modern vampire story I've ever read
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1 person found this helpful
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- Courtney
- 04-18-23
It was great
I was really pleasantly surprised by this book. It was super fun. I’ll definitely listen again.
I liked that the love interest was cocky and flawed, and truly enjoyed her character development. It didn’t make her less likable. Loved her more and more as the book got going.
And the spice? Chef’s kiss my friends
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- Andrew Ratka
- 09-17-23
Loved it
It's a great take on a classic filled with snark sarcasm dry and dark humor. The characters are believable and you can't help but like them. This balances scary horror elements with funny teen angst and a coming out story that's equal parts cringy and supportive.
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- Michelle
- 02-12-23
I am SO happy!
I fell madly in love with this book when I first read it on Scribd a couple years ago. So much so, that I would periodically check Audible to see if it had been brought to audiobook yet. When I saw that it finally had been, I was excited, yet nervous. I’ve never listened to this narrator before, and I really really wanted the audiobook to be good. However, we all know the narrator makes or breaks it.
I am so glad to report that this narrator was excellent. I appreciated her choice of voices for the two main characters, she nailed it. You always know who is talking, and whether it’s just inane conversation or action scenes, sh does a wonderful job with the reading.
This book has everything: lesbian lovin, vampires and vampire lore, blessedly clever and funny wordplay, and two awesome young women who just happen to love each other. I adore the relationship between Mindy and Lucia. They are are refreshingly honest with each other and even under the unusual circumstances, as a reader, you truly believe that they are meant to be. This audiobook is a treat that I know I’ll be revisiting over and over!
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- Anonymous User
- 04-03-23
Just Fun
Tha narrator was fantastic. The story is really fun, creative and touching on real themes. Give it a listen.
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