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Far from the Tree
- Parents, Children and the Search for Identity
- Narrated by: Andrew Solomon
- Length: 40 hrs and 37 mins
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Publisher's summary
National Book Critics Circle Award, Nonfiction, 2013
From the National Book Award-winning author of the "brave...deeply humane...open-minded, critically informed, and poetic" (The New York Times) The Noonday Demon, comes a game-changer of a book about the impact of extreme personal and cultural difference between parents and children.
A brilliant and utterly original thinker, Andrew Solomon's journey began from his experience of being the gay child of straight parents. He wondered how other families accommodate children who have a variety of differences: families of people who are deaf, who are dwarfs, who have Down syndrome, who have autism, who have schizophrenia, who have multiple severe disabilities, who are prodigies, who commit crimes, who are transgender. Bookended with Solomon's experiences as a son, and then later as a father, this book explores the old adage that says the apple doesn't fall far from the tree; instead some apples fall a couple of orchards away, some on the other side of the world.
In 12 sharply observed and moving chapters, Solomon describes individuals who have been heartbreaking victims of intense prejudice, but also stories of parents who have embraced their childrens' differences and tried to change the world's understanding of their conditions. Solomon's humanity, eloquence, and compassion give a voice to those people who are never heard. A riveting, powerful take on a major social issue, Far from the Tree offers far-reaching conclusions about new families, academia, and the way our culture addresses issues of illness and identity.
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Critic reviews
"In Far from the Tree, Andrew Solomon reminds us that nothing is more powerful in a child's development than the love of a parent. This remarkable new book introduces us to mothers and fathers across America - many in circumstances the rest of us can hardly imagine - who are making their children feel special, no matter what challenges come their way." (President Bill Clinton)
"This is one of the most extraordinary books I have read in recent times - brave, compassionate and astonishingly humane. Solomon approaches one of the oldest questions - how much are we defined by nature versus nurture? - and crafts from it a gripping narrative. Through his stories, told with such masterful delicacy and lucidity, we learn how different we all are, and how achingly similar. I could not put this book down." (Siddhartha Mukherjee, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of The Emperor of All Maladies)
"An informative and moving book that raises profound issues regarding the nature of love, the value of human life, and the future of humanity." (Kirkus)
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To the End of June
- The Intimate Life of American Foster Care
- By: Cris Beam
- Narrated by: Susan Ericksen
- Length: 12 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Who are the children of foster care? What, as a country, do we owe them? Cris Beam, a foster mother herself, spent five years immersed in the world of foster care looking into these questions and tracing firsthand stories. The result is To the End of June, an unforgettable portrait that takes us deep inside the lives of foster children in their search for a stable, loving family. Beam shows us the intricacies of growing up in the system - the back-and-forth with agencies, the rootless shuffling between homes, the emotionally charged tug between foster and birth parents.
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Good dissertation
- By Nim on 03-13-19
By: Cris Beam
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Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed
- Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller, Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis" and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all - a successful, demanding career and the required 2.3 children - before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life.
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Am I the only sane childfree woman in here?
- By J. Malouin on 09-29-15
By: Meghan Daum
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I Don't Want to Talk About It
- Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
- By: Terrence Real
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 12 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Psychotherapist Terrence Real offers an important and compelling look at the silent epidemic of depression among men and shows, with compassion and clarity, what can be done to break this vicious cycle.
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Dated, Freudian take on subject with shock value
- By Matthew&Rebecca on 04-28-12
By: Terrence Real
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The Girls Who Went Away
- The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade
- By: Ann Fessler
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 12 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In this deeply moving and myth-shattering work, Ann Fessler brings out into the open for the first time the astonishing untold history of the million and a half women who surrendered children for adoption due to enormous family and social pressure in the decades before Roe v. Wade.
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Sad but True ... and Helpful
- By Kim Kavanagh on 01-05-17
By: Ann Fessler
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Born for Love
- Why Empathy Is Essential - and Endangered
- By: Bruce D. Perry, Maia Szalavitz
- Narrated by: Corey M. Snow
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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From birth, when babies' fingers instinctively cling to those of adults, their bodies and brains seek an intimate connection - a bond made possible by empathy, the remarkable ability to love and to share the feelings of others. In this unforgettable book, award-winning science journalist Maia Szalavitz and renowned child psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry explain how empathy develops, why it is essential both to human happiness and for a functional society, and how it is threatened in a modern world.
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Born for Love is a Rallying Call for Caring and Cry for Help
- By Jeffrey Olsen on 09-24-18
By: Bruce D. Perry, and others
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The Inheritance
- A Family on the Front Lines of the Battle Against Alzheimer's Disease
- By: Niki Kapsambelis
- Narrated by: Callie Beaulieu
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Every 69 seconds, someone is diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. Of the top 10 killers, it is the only disease for which there is no cure or treatment. For most people, there is nothing that they can do to fight back. But one family is doing all they can. The DeMoe family has the most devastating form of the disease that there is: early onset Alzheimer's, an inherited genetic mutation that causes the disease in 100 percent of cases, and has a 50 percent chance of being passed onto the next generation.
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A Cover-to-Cover Slug in the Gut, but Inspiring
- By Gillian on 04-16-17
By: Niki Kapsambelis
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The Sibling Effect
- What the Bonds among Brothers and Sisters Reveal about Us
- By: Jeffrey Kluger
- Narrated by: Pete Larkin
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Nobody affects us as deeply as our brothers and sisters - not parents, not children, not friends. From the time we - and they - are born, our siblings are our collaborators and co-conspirators, our role models and cautionary tales. They teach us how to resolve conflicts and how not to, how to conduct friendships and when to walk away.
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This is the only book I never finished
- By Rob on 06-25-12
By: Jeffrey Kluger
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The Spectrum of Hope
- An Optimistic and New Approach to Alzheimer's Disease and Other Dementias
- By: Gayatri Devi MD
- Narrated by: Wendy Tremont King
- Length: 12 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Imagine finding a glimmer of good news in a diagnosis of Alzheimer's. And imagine how that would change the outlook of the five million Americans who suffer from Alzheimer's disease and other dementias, not to mention their families, loved ones, and caretakers. A neurologist who's been specializing in dementia and memory loss for more than 20 years, Dr. Gayatri Devi rewrites the story of Alzheimer's by defining it as a spectrum disorder - like autism, Alzheimer's is a disease that affects different people differently.
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Aging with Grace
- By Lisa F on 05-19-21
By: Gayatri Devi MD
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Women Who Think Too Much
- How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life
- By: Susan Nolen-Hoeksema
- Narrated by: Sheryl Bernstein
- Length: 2 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
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It's not a surprise that our fast-paced, overly analytical culture is pushing people - especially women - to spend countless hours thinking about negative ideas, feelings, and experiences. Renowned psychologist Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema calls this "overthinking". Her groundbreaking research shows that an increasing number of women - more than half of those in her extensive study - are doing it too much and too often, hindering their ability to lead a satisfying life.
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Generic tools for overcoming overthinking
- By letlet on 01-09-19
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The Boy Who Loved Too Much
- A True Story of Pathological Friendliness
- By: Jennifer Latson
- Narrated by: Heather Auden
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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What would it be like to see everyone as a friend? Twelve-year-old Eli D'Angelo has a genetic disorder that obliterates social inhibitions, making him irrepressibly friendly, indiscriminately trusting, and unconditionally loving toward everyone he meets. It also makes him enormously vulnerable. Eli lacks the innate skepticism that will help his peers navigate adolescence more safely - and vastly more successfully.
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Williams Syndrome
- By Sharlotte on 09-20-19
By: Jennifer Latson
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When Your Kid Is Hurting
- Helping Your Child Through the Tough Days
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Jon Gauger
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Children today live in an unpredictable, disruptive, and often violent world. Many of them live in two different homes with different sets of expectations. They face bullying at school and online. They hear news of school shootings, and racially or religiously motivated violence. They may have lost a friend or a loved one. As parents, the impulse to protect our children is strong, but that very protection can end up handicapping them for life. Rather than seek to save them from the hard things, parents must teach their kids how to cope with and rise above their problems.
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So helpful for so many situations
- By Natalie on 10-03-18
By: Kevin Leman
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American Spirit
- Profiles in Resilience, Courage, and Faith
- By: Taya Kyle, Jim DeFelice
- Narrated by: Taya Kyle
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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From Taya Kyle, New York Times best-selling author of American Wife and widow of “American Sniper” Chris Kyle, an inspiring collection of stories, both personal and drawn from American history, that showcase the resilience of the “American spirit”.
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Just love Taya Kyle!
- By Rebecka R. Murray on 05-14-19
By: Taya Kyle, and others
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High Price
- A Neuroscientist's Journey of Self-Discovery That Challenges Everything You Know About Drugs and Society
- By: Carl Hart
- Narrated by: J.D. Jackson
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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A pioneering neuroscientist shares his story of growing up in one of Miami's toughest neighborhoods and how it led him to his groundbreaking work in drug addiction. As a youth, Carl Hart didn't realize the value of school; he studied just enough to stay on the basketball team. At the same time, he was immersed in street life. Today he is a cutting-edge neuroscientist - Columbia University's first tenured African American professor in the sciences.
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Outstanding!
- By DaWoolf on 04-01-14
By: Carl Hart
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Speechless
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Bolaño Poetic Gyre
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Borrowing from painting’s fresco technique to make an original literary double-take, it's a fast-moving, genre-bending conversation between forms, times, truths, and fictions. There’s a Renaissance artist of the 1460s. There’s the child of a child of the 1960s. Two tales of love and injustice twist into a singular yarn where time gets timeless, structural gets playful, knowing gets mysterious, fictional gets real--and all life’s givens get given a second chance.
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Incompetent Foreign Pronunciation
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The Return
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When Hisham Matar was a 19-year-old university student in England, his father was kidnapped. One of the Qaddafi regime's most prominent opponents in exile, he was held in a secret prison in Libya. Hisham would never see him again. But he never gave up hope that his father might still be alive. "Hope," as he writes, "is cunning and persistent." Twenty-two years later, after the fall of Qaddafi, the prison cells were empty, and there was no sign of Jaballa Matar. Hisham returned with his mother and wife to the homeland he never thought he'd go back to again.
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Touching memoir. Consider hard copy
- By Joschka Philipps on 02-22-18
By: Hisham Matar
What listeners say about Far from the Tree
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Nancy Burke
- 11-27-12
A peek into deeply challenged lives
If you could sum up Far from the Tree in three words, what would they be?
Eye-opening, poignant, triumphant
What was one of the most memorable moments of Far from the Tree?
The forgiveness of a healthcare worker by parents whose MDS child who died because of a random careless act.
How could the performance have been better?
I believe a different narrator, not the author but a professional actor would elevate the experience of listening.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
The question of correcting 'flaws' of nature in lieu of accepting a creature as created by God and by genetics, etc. creates a paradox with mixed feelings and a sense of knowing that either choice can be right or wrong but inevitably is irrevocable.
Any additional comments?
For parents and future parents because you never know if you will be a subject of such a book.
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20 people found this helpful
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- cc
- 01-24-17
absolutely insightful and inspiring
Solomons way of connecting with the families he interviews and his comparisons between social norm and acceptance is a compelling read.
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- Laurel Dean
- 09-07-18
Extraordinary
As someone who works with disabled children of all kinds, this book was a revelation. Well-researched and beyond thorough, it serves as an encyclopedia of emotions for those who interact with children who are “far from the tree.”
Previous reviewers have criticized the autism chapter. As someone who works directly with children who have autism, I agree that this is not the best chapter in the book. But to give this book a 1-Star review because they didn’t like the one chapter seems petty. This book wasn’t meant to be a how-to manual about working with kids who have autism. There are plenty of other books on that topic.
In my reading, no other book comes close to the thorough examination that Mr. Solomon gives to the concepts of parenthood and disability. I am beyond impressed, and I am grateful to him for documenting this world of experience.
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-13-20
A Masterful Treatise on Identity
A must read for every member of the human family Solomon seeks to understand how we respond to and embrace "other."
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- lionell
- 07-13-20
Emotional roller coaster of families and children
This book was amazing and it has changed my perspective forever. Everyone is a person, despite there difficulties and challenges. My heart breaks because of how cruel the world can truly be.
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- educatormom
- 12-12-18
Worth Your Time
If for no other reason then to expand your empathy and acceptance of others, this book should be listened to.
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- Elizabeth
- 08-19-13
ONE OF MY TOP 5 FAVORITE BOOKS OF ALL TIME
If every person in America read this book thoughtfully, we would see far reaching positive repercussions. Solomon delves into hundreds of lives and describes how they manage the lot they were given. He knew each family personally for years as he compiled the book. It is a long book, but the quickest way to appreciate the human experience, central to which is parenting.
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- Steven
- 03-15-16
A long book that covers a lot
A very interest look at a lot of different situations. Hard to get through at times but insightful and I'm glad I listened to the end
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-09-19
Magnum opus for disability awareness
As a psychologist, this is a text I see as a great resource for a graduate course on disabilities. Solomon offers profound insights and displays a great spirit of empathy. His expressiveness is technically exacting without ever sounding as though he is seeking to impress the reader. My only knock is that I do find his voice mildly abrasive as the reader; he has a PeeWee Herman-esque tonal quality, although deeper and more resonant, that I had to consciously bear with by focusing harder on appreciating the content rather than the delivery of the message. I don’t know if I was wearing out by the end of the book, but some of the chapters about criminality were more onerous for me to listen to - the vignettes became less purposeful and illustrative of the condition and seemed more shock-value oriented and tedious than in the earlier chapters.
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- Shaun Antram
- 10-14-20
A compelling and challenging story
Far from the Tree is a compelling and often challenging story. Solomon uses his own journey of being gay and his associated, self-loathing, discovery and eventual joyful embrace as a lens to understand the complex interplay between the undeniable challenges of being profoundly different from our parents/society and the resulting journey of social stigma, pain and growth. Solomon examines the resulting culture of being different and its inevitable conflict with mainstream culture. He also explores the value of difference as well as and the sometime wondrous nature of being a parent of the profoundly different.
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