
Firstborn
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Lauren Christensen
About this listen
“An achingly beautiful testament to fierce loss, fierce love and fierce resilience.”—People Magazine
“You will find yourself rationing out pages to spend more time in the glow of Christensen’s luminous prose and inextinguishable love. A triumph.”—Oprah Daily (best new books to read this spring)
A lapidary memoir of losing a child before she can be born, which the author began writing the day she came home from the hospital—an intimate story about our most searing losses and brightest hopes
“Some days I still think this is all just a sad story I’ll tell Simone one day.”
Lauren Christensen is a thirtysomething editor in New York City when she meets her future husband, Gabe, a writer with whom she falls in love right away. Her beloved grandfather is dying, but the young couple is bringing new life into the family: Lauren and Gabe joyfully discover she is pregnant with their daughter, Simone.
As Lauren faces the prospect of becoming a parent, she learns to let go of the fear of abandonment and need for control instilled in her by growing up with a largely absent father and a high-powered mother who was often away on business. Lauren and Gabe are incandescently happy in their exuberant, messy, beautiful shared world. But just weeks after their wedding, they learn that their worst nightmare has come true: Simone is dying in the womb.
In fierce, tender, spellbinding prose, Firstborn brings us to the very heart of the human paradox: How do we live when everyone who makes up our world will someday be gone? And how can we mourn when the cosmic order has been turned upside down—when a child dies before she is born?
As she comes up against the brutal limits of maternal healthcare and the limitlessness of her love for her daughter, Lauren Christensen finds a key, generous and brave, in which to share her loss, a testimony whose diamond-like brilliance refracts a universal light.
©2025 Lauren Christensen (P)2025 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“There are two fierce, fragile fighters in Firstborn, Lauren Christensen’s touching memoir about the life and death of her tiny daughter, Simone, who was stillborn 22 weeks into Christensen’s pregnancy. The great accomplishment of this book is that I feel I have gotten to know and care for both tenacious people . . . Told with dry, offhand charm . . . there is just love, and the care a mother gives her daughter, no matter what; and finally and always the love this mother, Lauren Christensen, gave her daughter, Simone, in this life and beyond.”—Amy Bloom, The New York Times Book Review
“Masterfully constructed . . . Powerful and beautifully written, Firstborn tells the archetypal story of a journey to the underworld, from which the storyteller emerges to deliver wisdom both profound and painful. How does one go on living after such a calamity? Christensen’s sparkling telling is the ultimate proof of survival: an artful, authentic story forged from the messiness of real life. . . . Told in the fierce, clear voice of someone who has been through death . . . full of love . . . exquisitely sensitive . . . Firstborn is a treasure for readers, as we navigate difficult passages of our own, whatever their nature.”—Kathryn Rhett, The Washington Post
“Some books win our allegiance almost instantly. Such was the case with Lauren Christensen’s radiant, rigorous, heart-rending debut memoir, Firstborn, which engaged me from the opening pages, profoundly moved me, and gave me thoughts too deep for tears . . . She depicts a world of pain and troubles, yet the memoir is suffused with such unwavering love, and characterized by such soulful intelligence and courageous candor, that it feels uplifting in a profoundly well-earned way . . . Like the great romantic poet [Wordsworth], Christensen has both recorded her own loss in its particularity and made it representative of all loss.”—Priscilla Gilman, The Boston Globe
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In this powerful, edgy, and funny debut novel about making right and wrong choices, Bump gives us an unforgettable and lovable protagonist, Claude McKay Love. Claude is a young black man in search of a place where he can fit; born on the South Side of Chicago, he is raised by his civil rights-era grandmother, who tries to shape him into a principled actor for change. After a riot consumes his neighborhood, Claude decides to escape Chicago for another place, to go to college, to find a new life and identity. But he discovers, there's no escaping the people and places that made him.
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Great coming of age story...
- By Roslynde on 11-25-20
By: Gabriel Bump
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The Paris Express
- By: Emma Donoghue
- Narrated by: Justin Avoth
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on an 1895 disaster that went down in history when it was captured in a series of surreal, extraordinary photographs, The Paris Express is a propulsive novel set on a train packed with a fascinating cast of characters who hail from as close as Brittany and as far as Russia, Ireland, Algeria, Pennsylvania, and Cambodia.
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Outstanding narrator
- By Amazon Customer on 03-19-25
By: Emma Donoghue
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Hunchback
- A Novel
- By: Saou Ichikawa
- Narrated by: Polly Barton, Yuriri Naka
- Length: 1 hr and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Born with a congenital muscle disorder, Shaka spends her days in her room in a care home outside Tokyo, relying on an electric wheelchair to get around and a ventilator to breathe. But if Shaka’s physical life is limited, her quick, mischievous mind has no boundaries: She takes e-learning courses on her iPad, publishes explicit fantasies on websites, and anonymously troll-tweets to see if anyone is paying attention (“In another life, I’d like to work as a high-class prostitute”). One day, she tweets into the void an offer of an enormous sum of money for a sperm donor.
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Blooming from the Mud
- By The Rasher on 04-01-25
By: Saou Ichikawa
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Nothing Bad Happens Here
- By: Rachel Ekstrom Courage
- Narrated by: Lindsey Dorcus
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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A carefree New England vacation is just what sixteen-year-old Lucia needs to chase her sadness away. At least, according to her mom, who whisks them away for the summer with her ridiculously wealthy new boyfriend. Nothing bad happens in Nantucket, a charming island with cobblestone streets and million-dollar cottages. But when Lucia stumbles upon the body of a teenage girl on a beach, the discovery reopens old wounds from her past. With the dead girl's identity a mystery, Lucia takes it upon herself to investigate and crosses paths with Selah and her pack of devil-may-care besties.
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Thrilling and Chilling
- By Anthony on 03-25-25
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Spellbound
- My Life as a Dyslexic Wordsmith
- By: Phil Hanley
- Narrated by: Phil Hanley
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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When Phil Hanley was in first grade, he realized something that would forever set him apart from his peers: he couldn’t read. His teachers were ill-equipped to assist him, and he slipped through the school’s cracks, year by year falling further and further behind his friends. Finally, he was diagnosed with dyslexia, a learning disability that would shape the rest of his life. Unable to pursue college or a traditional job, Phil was thrust into a life defined by unconventional twists. Eventually, he found himself on a stage with a microphone, a spotlight, and five minutes of jokes.
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I love Phil Hanley’s comedy and I hope someone reads this to him!
- By J. Brown on 03-20-25
By: Phil Hanley
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Memorial Days
- A Memoir
- By: Geraldine Brooks
- Narrated by: Geraldine Brooks
- Length: 4 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Many cultural and religious traditions expect those who are grieving to step away from the world. In contemporary life, we are more often met with red tape and to-do lists. This is exactly what happened to Geraldine Brooks when her partner of more than three decades, Tony Horwitz–just sixty years old and, to her knowledge, vigorous and healthy–collapsed and died on a Washington, D. C. sidewalk.
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Uninspired, mediocre writing.
- By C. Tyler on 03-04-25
By: Geraldine Brooks
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O Sinners!
- A Novel
- By: Nicole Cuffy
- Narrated by: JD Jackson, SEVAN
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Faruq Zaidi, a young journalist processing the recent death of his father, a devout Muslim, takes the opportunity to embed himself in a cult called “the nameless.” Based in the California redwoods and shepherded by an enigmatic Vietnam War veteran named Odo, the nameless adhere to the 18 Utterances, including teachings such as “all suffering is distortion” and “see only beauty.”
By: Nicole Cuffy
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The Mademoiselle Alliance
- A Novel
- By: Natasha Lester
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 12 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Morocco, 1928. Marie-Madeleine Méric is not the kind of woman who stays quietly at her husband’s side. Polyglot, pianist, and pilot, she is a woman of many skills, with unconventional interests—like driving in car rallies—that earn her a daredevil reputation. But dabbling in intelligence work to assist her military officer husband and the French government helps her recognize who she is at heart: an adventurer.
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story
- By Daniela on 05-03-25
By: Natasha Lester
Beautiful
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My Anna
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