He/She/They
How We Talk About Gender and Why It Matters
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Narrated by:
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Schuyler Bailar
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By:
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Schuyler Bailar
About this listen
From a trans rights activist and athlete, an urgent guide that changes the conversation about gender identity.
Anti-transgender legislation is being introduced in state governments around the United States in record-breaking numbers. Trans people are under attack in sports, healthcare, school curriculum, bathrooms, bars, and nearly every walk of life. He/She/They compassionately addresses fundamental topics, from why being transgender is not a choice and why pronouns are important, to more complex issues including how gender-affirming healthcare can be lifesaving.
With a relatable narrative rooted in science, and history, Schuyler helps restore common sense and humanity to a discussion that continues to be divisively coopted and deceptively politicized. He/She/They is more than a book on allyship; it also speaks to trans folks directly, celebrating radical trans joy.
National Bestseller
Winner, 2023 Porchlight Business Book Awards
Longlisted, 2024 Carnegie Medals for Excellence in Nonfiction
Forbes 30 Under 30
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Story
Hey, I'm Jamie, a 29-year-old trans guy from the UK. I've been transitioning for 12 years now after realising I was trans (by accident!) at sixteen years old. I knew I was a boy since the age of four, but realised whilst growing up that I was different. It was only in my teens that I found the words to express who I was and what I needed to do. Since then, I've been on testosterone for more than a decade - I know, I can't believe it either - I've also had top and bottom surgery and legally changed my sex, so I know a few things about the transitioning process and being trans!
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Amazing
- By Victor Rhodes on 08-03-24
By: Jamie Raines
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Gender Euphoria
- Stories of Joy from Trans, Non-Binary and Intersex Writers
- By: Laura Kate Dale - editor
- Narrated by: Laura Kate Dale
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
So often the stories shared by trans people about their transition center on gender dysphoria: a feeling of deep discomfort with their birth-assigned gender, and a powerful catalyst for coming out or transitioning. But for many non-cisgender people, it's gender euphoria that pushes forward their transition: the joy the first time a parent calls them by their new chosen name, the first time they have the confidence to cut their hair short, the first time they truly embrace themself.
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simply life changing
- By Grant Vargas on 06-01-24
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Before We Were Trans
- A New History of Gender
- By: Dr. Kit Heyam Ph.D
- Narrated by: Dr. Kit Heyam Ph.D
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Before We Were Trans illuminates the stories of people across the globe, from antiquity to the present, whose experiences of gender have defied binary categories. Blending historical analysis with sharp cultural criticism, trans historian and activist Kit Heyam offers a new, radically inclusive trans history, chronicling expressions of trans experience that are often overlooked, like gender-nonconforming fashion and wartime stage performance. Heyam looks to the past to uncover new horizons for possible trans futures.
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The history we need right now
- By Daniel Hebert on 04-11-23
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Gender Magic
- Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self
- By: Rae McDaniel MED LCPC CST
- Narrated by: Rae McDaniel MED LCPC CST
- Length: 11 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Taking everything they know from more than a decade of working with the queer and trans community, their personal journey of gender exploration, and clinical best practices, licensed therapist, coach, and speaker Rae McDaniel created the Gender Freedom Model. A uniquely supportive narrative for gender exploration and transition grounded in queer joy, their nine-pillar model has helped thousands of transgender and nonbinary individuals explore gender through play, pleasure, and freedom. And now, it can help you too.
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Eh not for me
- By Dana on 10-24-23
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Transgender History, Second Edition
- The Roots of Today's Revolution
- By: Susan Stryker
- Narrated by: Emily Cauldwell
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Covering American transgender history from the mid-20th century to today, Transgender History takes a chronological approach to the subject of transgender history, with each chapter covering major movements, writings, and events.
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something for everyone to learn
- By Nick G on 03-12-19
By: Susan Stryker
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Ace
- What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
- By: Angela Chen
- Narrated by: Natalie Naudus
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face - confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships - are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience.
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Thank you, Angela!
- By akaMike on 10-10-20
By: Angela Chen
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The T in LGBT
- Everything You Need to Know About Being Trans
- By: Jamie Raines
- Narrated by: Jamie Raines, Shaaba Lotun
- Length: 5 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Hey, I'm Jamie, a 29-year-old trans guy from the UK. I've been transitioning for 12 years now after realising I was trans (by accident!) at sixteen years old. I knew I was a boy since the age of four, but realised whilst growing up that I was different. It was only in my teens that I found the words to express who I was and what I needed to do. Since then, I've been on testosterone for more than a decade - I know, I can't believe it either - I've also had top and bottom surgery and legally changed my sex, so I know a few things about the transitioning process and being trans!
-
-
Amazing
- By Victor Rhodes on 08-03-24
By: Jamie Raines
-
Gender Euphoria
- Stories of Joy from Trans, Non-Binary and Intersex Writers
- By: Laura Kate Dale - editor
- Narrated by: Laura Kate Dale
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
So often the stories shared by trans people about their transition center on gender dysphoria: a feeling of deep discomfort with their birth-assigned gender, and a powerful catalyst for coming out or transitioning. But for many non-cisgender people, it's gender euphoria that pushes forward their transition: the joy the first time a parent calls them by their new chosen name, the first time they have the confidence to cut their hair short, the first time they truly embrace themself.
-
-
simply life changing
- By Grant Vargas on 06-01-24
-
Before We Were Trans
- A New History of Gender
- By: Dr. Kit Heyam Ph.D
- Narrated by: Dr. Kit Heyam Ph.D
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Before We Were Trans illuminates the stories of people across the globe, from antiquity to the present, whose experiences of gender have defied binary categories. Blending historical analysis with sharp cultural criticism, trans historian and activist Kit Heyam offers a new, radically inclusive trans history, chronicling expressions of trans experience that are often overlooked, like gender-nonconforming fashion and wartime stage performance. Heyam looks to the past to uncover new horizons for possible trans futures.
-
-
The history we need right now
- By Daniel Hebert on 04-11-23
-
Gender Magic
- Live Shamelessly, Reclaim Your Joy, & Step into Your Most Authentic Self
- By: Rae McDaniel MED LCPC CST
- Narrated by: Rae McDaniel MED LCPC CST
- Length: 11 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Taking everything they know from more than a decade of working with the queer and trans community, their personal journey of gender exploration, and clinical best practices, licensed therapist, coach, and speaker Rae McDaniel created the Gender Freedom Model. A uniquely supportive narrative for gender exploration and transition grounded in queer joy, their nine-pillar model has helped thousands of transgender and nonbinary individuals explore gender through play, pleasure, and freedom. And now, it can help you too.
-
-
Eh not for me
- By Dana on 10-24-23
-
Transgender History, Second Edition
- The Roots of Today's Revolution
- By: Susan Stryker
- Narrated by: Emily Cauldwell
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Covering American transgender history from the mid-20th century to today, Transgender History takes a chronological approach to the subject of transgender history, with each chapter covering major movements, writings, and events.
-
-
something for everyone to learn
- By Nick G on 03-12-19
By: Susan Stryker
-
Ace
- What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex
- By: Angela Chen
- Narrated by: Natalie Naudus
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face - confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships - are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience.
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Thank you, Angela!
- By akaMike on 10-10-20
By: Angela Chen
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Pageboy
- A Memoir
- By: Elliot Page
- Narrated by: Elliot Page
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
“Can I kiss you?” It was two months before the world premiere of Juno, and Elliot Page was in his first ever queer bar. The hot summer air hung heavy around him as he looked at her. And then it happened. In front of everyone. A previously unfathomable experience. Here he was on the precipice of discovering himself as a queer person, as a trans person. Getting closer to his desires, his dreams, himself, without the repression he’d carried for so long. But for Elliot, two steps forward had always come with one step back.
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Ah, I wish this were better. I'm disappointed.
- By Jackson Theofore Keys on 06-07-23
By: Elliot Page
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Who's Afraid of Gender?
- By: Judith Butler
- Narrated by: Judith Butler
- Length: 11 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Judith Butler, the groundbreaking thinker whose iconic book Gender Trouble redefined how we think about gender and sexuality, confronts the attacks on “gender” that have become central to right-wing movements today. Global networks have formed “anti-gender ideology movements” that are dedicated to circulating a fantasy that gender is a dangerous, perhaps diabolical, threat to families, local cultures, civilization—and even “man” himself. In this book, Butler illuminates the concrete ways that this phantasm of “gender” collects and displaces anxieties and fears of destruction.
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Butler’s reading of Butler was stunning
- By Joseph Schneider on 07-19-24
By: Judith Butler
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The Risk It Takes to Bloom
- On Life and Liberation
- By: Raquel Willis
- Narrated by: Raquel Willis
- Length: 13 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In 2017, Raquel Willis took to the National Women’s March podium just after the presidential election of Donald Trump, primed to tell her story as a young Black transgender woman from the South. Despite having her speaking time cut short, the appearance only deepened her commitment to speaking up for communities on the margins. In this memoir, Raquel Willis recounts with passion and candor her experiences straddling the Obama and Trump eras, the possibility of transformation after tragedy, and how complex moments can push us all to take necessary risks and bloom toward collective liberation.
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A stunning memoir
- By Eclectic Reader on 08-08-24
By: Raquel Willis
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Rules for Ghosting
- A Novel
- By: Shelly Jay Shore
- Narrated by: Petey Gibson, Shelly Jay Shore
- Length: 12 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Ezra Friedman sees ghosts, which made growing up in a funeral home complicated. It might have been easier if his grandfather’s ghost didn’t give him scathing looks of disapproval as he went through a second, HRT-induced puberty, or if he didn’t have the pressure of all those relatives—living and dead—judging every choice he makes. It’s no wonder that Ezra runs as far away from the family business as humanly possible. But when the floor of his dream job drops out from under him, Ezra finds himself back in the thick of it.
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Cozy Spooks
- By Jessica M on 10-31-24
By: Shelly Jay Shore
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Greedy
- Notes from a Bisexual Who Wants Too Much
- By: Jen Winston
- Narrated by: Jen Winston
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
If Jen Winston knows one thing for sure, it’s that she’s bisexual. Or wait - maybe she isn’t? Actually, she definitely is. Unless...she’s not? Jen’s provocative, laugh-out-loud debut takes us inside her journey of self-discovery. Greedy follows Jen’s attempts to make sense of herself as she explores the role of the male gaze, what it means to be “queer enough”, and how to overcome bi stereotypes when you’re the posterchild for all of them: greedy, slutty, and constantly confused.
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A beautiful read for anyone under the Bi+ Umbrella
- By Amazon Customer on 10-08-21
By: Jen Winston
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Free to Be
- Understanding Kids & Gender Identity
- By: Jack Turban MD
- Narrated by: Sean Patrick Hopkins, Jack Turban MD
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Kids today are more gender fluent and expansive than ever before. In America, around two percent of teenagers (over 700,000) openly identify as transgender. As it becomes increasingly common for us to encounter and know transgender kids, as well as kids with more expansive notions of gender than past generations, it is vital that we have the tools we need in order to truly see and support them. Free to Be is an authoritative deep dive by internationally renowned child and adolescent psychiatrist Dr. Jack Turban into the science, medicine, and politics of gender identity.
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A book that actually centers trans voices
- By Emil Cucksee on 06-11-24
By: Jack Turban MD
What listeners say about He/She/They
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- Paul
- 10-24-23
Phenomenal book!
This is a wonderful book! I just finished listening to it, and also purchased a book to highlight several parts where the wording, ideas and stories touched my heart. Thank you thank you thank you for putting your heart into this amazing resource for allies, parents and the world. 🏳️⚧️
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2 people found this helpful
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- DK
- 03-16-24
Deeply insightful and illuminating
Helped me learn so much about both one person’s experience of being trans and the challenges that society presents to people who aren’t cis/het. Generously written and narrated. Highly recommend.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kathleen
- 07-23-24
A very comprehensive book about what it is to be transgender by a very articulate transgender man
Now over 80 years of age, I purchased this book because I wanted to learn more about transgender issues, which seem to be increasingly in the news. I was also curious about why everyone seems to be putting their pronouns after their names, as well as what those pronouns mean about the person.
In this book, Schuyler addresses anything anyone might wonder about transgender issues. It is immensely readable, human, and comprehensive. I highly recommend reading it to anyone who has any questions about what it is to be transgender and why anyone would change one’s gender. Schuyler describes how and why a transgender person might or might not choose to alter their external sexual characteristics, including their genitals. One of the first sections of the book discusses the assignment of gender at birth, often despite ambiguous genitalia, and before the full expression of sex hormones can occur. There is a large section about transgender athletes, which I found particularly illuminating. Lia Thomas’ journey was addressed in this book and anyone who wonders why she, a transgender woman, has been permitted to compete as a woman swimmer at the highest level of competition should read this book
The book concludes with how one might become a transgender ally; This may be the only way to stop the trend of harmful recent legislation against related issues, such as forcing people to use the bathroom corresponding to their gender at birth, and other issues the patriarchy seems intent upon.
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- harperlee
- 02-23-24
The writer’s balance
Liked it all. Very helpful read. Thank you, your book was informative and helpful. I want to read more.
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1 person found this helpful
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- C
- 11-30-24
Informative
Great book. Very informative. Good story telling. Disappointed book does not include the PDF attachment for additional information as stated.
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- Lindsay
- 01-10-24
Truly Outstanding
Schuyler is unbelievably insightful and thoughtful, and I found his way of explaining each topic so inclusive and kind. As the mother of a trans child I was already an ally, but now I can be an even better one because Schuyler chose to let us in and share his experiences.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Emily Alford
- 03-19-24
So beautiful and educational
What a joy to listen to as you smile, cry, laugh and shout along the way. Wonderfully educational for the ally who strives to understand in order to help protect and support.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Alexis Hall
- 10-22-23
Amazing take on trans existence!
As a Latino trans man beginning my gender affirmation journey, I really appreciated the intersectional scope Schuyler provided. He’s such an inspiration to our community and I love seeing trans content that isn’t made by a white person. Such an educational reas for cis and trans folk❤️🏳️⚧️
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- Dorion
- 12-05-23
Love my Trans Family
A memoir of love, pain, joy, education, fear, hope, and a future of being trans.
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- Sheen
- 12-19-23
The best communicated trans book to date
Took some of the words right out of my mouth! I could not have said things better. this book is everything not only for a trans person but also for an ally or anyone that is new to the subject and just wants to get some info before they walk into the world talking about something they have no idea about.
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