Preview
  • He/She/They

  • How We Talk About Gender and Why It Matters
  • By: Schuyler Bailar
  • Narrated by: Schuyler Bailar
  • Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
  • 5.0 out of 5 stars (60 ratings)

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He/She/They

By: Schuyler Bailar
Narrated by: Schuyler Bailar
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Publisher's summary

Go‑to expert on gender identity Schuyler Bailar offers an essential, urgent guide that changes the conversation about gender identity and how we talk about it.

Anti-transgender legislation is being introduced in state governments around the United States in record-breaking numbers. Trans people are under attack in sports, healthcare, school curriculum, bathrooms, bars, and nearly every walk of life. He/She/They clearly and compassionately addresses fundamental topics, from why being transgender is not a choice and why pronouns are important, to more complex issues including how gender-affirming healthcare can be lifesaving and why allowing trans youth to play sports is good for all kids. With a relatable narrative rooted in facts, science, and history, Schuyler helps restore common sense and humanity to a discussion that continues to be divisively coopted and deceptively politicized.

Schuyler Bailar didn’t set out to be an activist, but his very public transition to the Harvard men’s swim team put him in the spotlight. His choice to be open about his transition and share his experience has touched people around the world. His plain-spoken education has evolved into tireless advocacy for inclusion and collective liberation. In He/She/They, Schuyler uses storytelling and the art of conversation to give us the essential language and context of gender, meeting everyone where they are and paving the way for understanding, acceptance, and, most importantly: connection. He/She/They is more than a book on allyship; it also speaks to trans folks directly, answering the question, “does it get better?” with a resounding yes, celebrating radical trans joy. Myth-busting, affirming, compassionate, and fierce, He/She/They is a crucial, urgent—and lifesaving—book that forever changes the conversation about gender.

©2023 Schuyler Bailar (P)2023 Hachette Go
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Categories: LGBTQ+
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What listeners say about He/She/They

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The writer’s balance

Liked it all. Very helpful read. Thank you, your book was informative and helpful. I want to read more.

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Deeply insightful and illuminating

Helped me learn so much about both one person’s experience of being trans and the challenges that society presents to people who aren’t cis/het. Generously written and narrated. Highly recommend.

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A very comprehensive book about what it is to be transgender by a very articulate transgender man

Now over 80 years of age, I purchased this book because I wanted to learn more about transgender issues, which seem to be increasingly in the news. I was also curious about why everyone seems to be putting their pronouns after their names, as well as what those pronouns mean about the person.
In this book, Schuyler addresses anything anyone might wonder about transgender issues. It is immensely readable, human, and comprehensive. I highly recommend reading it to anyone who has any questions about what it is to be transgender and why anyone would change one’s gender. Schuyler describes how and why a transgender person might or might not choose to alter their external sexual characteristics, including their genitals. One of the first sections of the book discusses the assignment of gender at birth, often despite ambiguous genitalia, and before the full expression of sex hormones can occur. There is a large section about transgender athletes, which I found particularly illuminating. Lia Thomas’ journey was addressed in this book and anyone who wonders why she, a transgender woman, has been permitted to compete as a woman swimmer at the highest level of competition should read this book
The book concludes with how one might become a transgender ally; This may be the only way to stop the trend of harmful recent legislation against related issues, such as forcing people to use the bathroom corresponding to their gender at birth, and other issues the patriarchy seems intent upon.

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Phenomenal book!

This is a wonderful book! I just finished listening to it, and also purchased a book to highlight several parts where the wording, ideas and stories touched my heart. Thank you thank you thank you for putting your heart into this amazing resource for allies, parents and the world. 🏳️‍⚧️

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Truly Outstanding

Schuyler is unbelievably insightful and thoughtful, and I found his way of explaining each topic so inclusive and kind. As the mother of a trans child I was already an ally, but now I can be an even better one because Schuyler chose to let us in and share his experiences.

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So beautiful and educational

What a joy to listen to as you smile, cry, laugh and shout along the way. Wonderfully educational for the ally who strives to understand in order to help protect and support.

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Amazing take on trans existence!

As a Latino trans man beginning my gender affirmation journey, I really appreciated the intersectional scope Schuyler provided. He’s such an inspiration to our community and I love seeing trans content that isn’t made by a white person. Such an educational reas for cis and trans folk❤️🏳️‍⚧️

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Honest, compassionate, loving, encouraging and educated

Schuyler did an amazing job with this book using honesty, compassion, love, and encouragement to embrace everyone who is brave enough to open his book regardless of their gender or sexuality. The use of personal experiences with educational material make this book inspiring, empowering and an enjoyable read.

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Love my Trans Family

A memoir of love, pain, joy, education, fear, hope, and a future of being trans.

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The best communicated trans book to date

Took some of the words right out of my mouth! I could not have said things better. this book is everything not only for a trans person but also for an ally or anyone that is new to the subject and just wants to get some info before they walk into the world talking about something they have no idea about.

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