
He/She/They
How We Talk About Gender and Why It Matters
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Narrated by:
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Schuyler Bailar
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By:
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Schuyler Bailar
About this listen
From a trans rights activist and athlete, an urgent guide that changes the conversation about gender identity.
Anti-transgender legislation is being introduced in state governments around the United States in record-breaking numbers. Trans people are under attack in sports, healthcare, school curriculum, bathrooms, bars, and nearly every walk of life. He/She/They compassionately addresses fundamental topics, from why being transgender is not a choice and why pronouns are important, to more complex issues including how gender-affirming healthcare can be lifesaving.
With a relatable narrative rooted in science, and history, Schuyler helps restore common sense and humanity to a discussion that continues to be divisively coopted and deceptively politicized. He/She/They is more than a book on allyship; it also speaks to trans folks directly, celebrating radical trans joy.
National Bestseller
Winner, 2023 Porchlight Business Book Awards
Longlisted, 2024 Carnegie Medals for Excellence in Nonfiction
Forbes 30 Under 30
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The 6 Habits of Growth
- By: Brendon Burchard
- Narrated by: Brendon Burchard
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Original Recording
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The world’s leading high-performance coach and multiple New York Times best-selling author Brendon Burchard delivers the six habits of personal growth that will help you create the life of your dreams. Forged from Brendon Burchard’s personal experiences, data from his GrowthDay app, and his many years as a high-performance coach, The 6 Habits of Growth presents the tools you need to construct the life of your dreams.
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Don’t bother
- By B. Sharpe on 10-30-22
By: Brendon Burchard
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Deep Sleep Hypnosis: Fall Asleep Instantly and Sleep Well
- By: Jasmine Harris
- Narrated by: Allison Mason
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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A lack of quality sleep can hinder your alertness and quality of life while awake, as anyone with sleeping issues already knows. Suffering through sleepless nights does not have to be your reality. Instead you can fall asleep fast and get quality sleep tonight and every night. Hypnosis has been used for centuries to cure many ailments, including the inability to get better sleep. You can help yourself improve the quality of your life with hypnotherapy.
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put me right to sleep
- By Cassandra on 05-08-17
By: Jasmine Harris
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12 Months to $1 Million
- How to Pick a Winning Product, Build a Real Business, and Become a Seven-Figure Entrepreneur
- By: Ryan Daniel Moran
- Narrated by: Ryan Daniel Moran
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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By cutting out the noise and providing a clear and proven plan, this road map helps even brand-new entrepreneurs make decisions quickly, get their product up for sale, and launch it to a crowd that is ready and waiting to buy. This one-year plan will guide you through the three stages to your first $1 million: the Grind (months 0-4), the Growth (months 5-8), and the Gold (months 9-12). If your goal is to be a full-time entrepreneur, get ready for one chaotic, stressful, and rewarding year. If you have the guts to complete it, you will be the proud owner of a million-dollar business.
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Good, but a Little Misleading
- By Chris Love on 11-28-20
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The Daily Stoic
- 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living
- By: Ryan Holiday, Stephen Hanselman
- Narrated by: Brian Holsopple
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
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Not well made as audio
- By Andreas on 12-27-16
By: Ryan Holiday, and others
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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Before We Were Trans illuminates the stories of people across the globe, from antiquity to the present, whose experiences of gender have defied binary categories. Blending historical analysis with sharp cultural criticism, trans historian and activist Kit Heyam offers a new, radically inclusive trans history, chronicling expressions of trans experience that are often overlooked, like gender-nonconforming fashion and wartime stage performance. Heyam looks to the past to uncover new horizons for possible trans futures.
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Ah, I wish this were better. I'm disappointed.
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Kids today are more gender fluent and expansive than ever before. In America, around two percent of teenagers (over 700,000) openly identify as transgender. As it becomes increasingly common for us to encounter and know transgender kids, as well as kids with more expansive notions of gender than past generations, it is vital that we have the tools we need in order to truly see and support them. Free to Be is an authoritative deep dive by internationally renowned child and adolescent psychiatrist Dr. Jack Turban into the science, medicine, and politics of gender identity.
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something for everyone to learn
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Hey, I'm Jamie, a 29-year-old trans guy from the UK. I've been transitioning for 12 years now after realising I was trans (by accident!) at sixteen years old. I knew I was a boy since the age of four, but realised whilst growing up that I was different. It was only in my teens that I found the words to express who I was and what I needed to do. Since then, I've been on testosterone for more than a decade - I know, I can't believe it either - I've also had top and bottom surgery and legally changed my sex, so I know a few things about the transitioning process and being trans!
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simply life changing
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Before We Were Trans illuminates the stories of people across the globe, from antiquity to the present, whose experiences of gender have defied binary categories. Blending historical analysis with sharp cultural criticism, trans historian and activist Kit Heyam offers a new, radically inclusive trans history, chronicling expressions of trans experience that are often overlooked, like gender-nonconforming fashion and wartime stage performance. Heyam looks to the past to uncover new horizons for possible trans futures.
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The history we need right now
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Ah, I wish this were better. I'm disappointed.
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Taking everything they know from more than a decade of working with the queer and trans community, their personal journey of gender exploration, and clinical best practices, licensed therapist, coach, and speaker Rae McDaniel created the Gender Freedom Model. A uniquely supportive narrative for gender exploration and transition grounded in queer joy, their nine-pillar model has helped thousands of transgender and nonbinary individuals explore gender through play, pleasure, and freedom. And now, it can help you too.
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From intimate relationships to global politics, Sarah Schulman observes a continuum: that inflated accusations of harm are used to avoid accountability. Illuminating the difference between conflict and abuse, Schulman directly addresses our contemporary culture of scapegoating. This deep, brave, and bold work reveals how punishment replaces personal and collective self-criticism, and shows why difference is so often used to justify cruelty and shunning.
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Interesting and important premise; terrible book
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Beyond the Gender Binary
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Pocket Change Collective is a series of small books with big ideas from today's leading activists and artists. In this installment, Beyond the Gender Binary, Alok Vaid-Menon challenges the world to see gender not in black and white, but in full color. Taking from their own experiences as a gender-nonconforming artist, they show us that gender is a malleable and creative form of expression. The only limit is your imagination.
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Logical fallacy throughout and very poorly argued.
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He
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Not what I expected. This is based in medieval times. Nothing practical for my 21st century American life.
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A Queer and Pleasant Danger
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Gender theorist, performance artist, and author Kate Bornstein is set to change lives with her stunningly original memoir. Wickedly funny and disarmingly honest, this is Bornstein's most intimate book yet, encompassing her early childhood and adolescence, college at Brown, a life in the theater, three marriages and fatherhood, the Scientology hierarchy, transsexual life, LGBTQ politics, and life on the road as a sought-after speaker.
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International sex researcher, neuroscientist, and columnist Debra Soh debunks popular gender myths in this scientific examination of the many facets of gender identity that “is not only eminently reasonable and beautifully-written, it is brave and vital” (Ben Shapiro, number-one New York Times best-selling author).
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stirring a conversation that is lacking
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Judith Butler, the groundbreaking thinker whose iconic book Gender Trouble redefined how we think about gender and sexuality, confronts the attacks on “gender” that have become central to right-wing movements today. Global networks have formed “anti-gender ideology movements” that are dedicated to circulating a fantasy that gender is a dangerous, perhaps diabolical, threat to families, local cultures, civilization—and even “man” himself. In this book, Butler illuminates the concrete ways that this phantasm of “gender” collects and displaces anxieties and fears of destruction.
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Gender Outlaw
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Author Kate Bornstein ushers listeners on a funny, fearless, and wonderfully scenic journey across the terrains of gender and identity. On one level, Gender Outlaw details Bornstein's transformation from heterosexual male to lesbian woman, from a one-time IBM salesperson to a playwright and performance artist. But this particular coming-of-age story is also a provocative investigation into our notions of male and female, from a self-described nonbinary transfeminine diesel femme dyke who never stops questioning our cultural assumptions.
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wonderful book read very well by an amazing person
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By: Kate Bornstein, and others
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Ace
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What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face - confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships - are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience.
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Thank you, Angela!
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By: Angela Chen
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Gay Like Me
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- By: Richie Jackson
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When Jackson's son born through surrogacy came out to him at age 15, the successful producer, now in his 50s, was compelled to reflect on his experiences and share his wisdom on life for LGBTQ Americans over the past half-century. Gay Like Me is a celebration of gay identity and parenting, and a powerful warning for his son, other gay men, and the world. Jackson looks back at his own journey as a gay man coming of age through decades of political and cultural turmoil.
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The guidance I didn’t realize I so desperately needed from a parent
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By: Richie Jackson
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How Fascism Works
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As the child of refugees of World War II Europe and a renowned philosopher and scholar of propaganda, Jason Stanley has a deep understanding of how democratic societies can be vulnerable to fascism: Nations don’t have to be fascist to suffer from fascist politics. In fact, fascism’s roots have been present in the United States for more than a century.
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A Warning Too Clear to Ignore
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What listeners say about He/She/They
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- Jackie in aurora IL
- 03-17-25
Educational and vulnerable
Both educational and vulnerable. Of all the books I’ve read I recommend this is a first read for anyone looking to answer questions they have about gender.
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- Paul
- 10-24-23
Phenomenal book!
This is a wonderful book! I just finished listening to it, and also purchased a book to highlight several parts where the wording, ideas and stories touched my heart. Thank you thank you thank you for putting your heart into this amazing resource for allies, parents and the world. 🏳️⚧️
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2 people found this helpful
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- DK
- 03-16-24
Deeply insightful and illuminating
Helped me learn so much about both one person’s experience of being trans and the challenges that society presents to people who aren’t cis/het. Generously written and narrated. Highly recommend.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kathleen
- 07-23-24
A very comprehensive book about what it is to be transgender by a very articulate transgender man
Now over 80 years of age, I purchased this book because I wanted to learn more about transgender issues, which seem to be increasingly in the news. I was also curious about why everyone seems to be putting their pronouns after their names, as well as what those pronouns mean about the person.
In this book, Schuyler addresses anything anyone might wonder about transgender issues. It is immensely readable, human, and comprehensive. I highly recommend reading it to anyone who has any questions about what it is to be transgender and why anyone would change one’s gender. Schuyler describes how and why a transgender person might or might not choose to alter their external sexual characteristics, including their genitals. One of the first sections of the book discusses the assignment of gender at birth, often despite ambiguous genitalia, and before the full expression of sex hormones can occur. There is a large section about transgender athletes, which I found particularly illuminating. Lia Thomas’ journey was addressed in this book and anyone who wonders why she, a transgender woman, has been permitted to compete as a woman swimmer at the highest level of competition should read this book
The book concludes with how one might become a transgender ally; This may be the only way to stop the trend of harmful recent legislation against related issues, such as forcing people to use the bathroom corresponding to their gender at birth, and other issues the patriarchy seems intent upon.
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- harperlee
- 02-23-24
The writer’s balance
Liked it all. Very helpful read. Thank you, your book was informative and helpful. I want to read more.
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1 person found this helpful
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- C
- 11-30-24
Informative
Great book. Very informative. Good story telling. Disappointed book does not include the PDF attachment for additional information as stated.
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- Lindsay
- 01-10-24
Truly Outstanding
Schuyler is unbelievably insightful and thoughtful, and I found his way of explaining each topic so inclusive and kind. As the mother of a trans child I was already an ally, but now I can be an even better one because Schuyler chose to let us in and share his experiences.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Emily Alford
- 03-19-24
So beautiful and educational
What a joy to listen to as you smile, cry, laugh and shout along the way. Wonderfully educational for the ally who strives to understand in order to help protect and support.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Alexis Hall
- 10-22-23
Amazing take on trans existence!
As a Latino trans man beginning my gender affirmation journey, I really appreciated the intersectional scope Schuyler provided. He’s such an inspiration to our community and I love seeing trans content that isn’t made by a white person. Such an educational reas for cis and trans folk❤️🏳️⚧️
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- Dorion
- 12-05-23
Love my Trans Family
A memoir of love, pain, joy, education, fear, hope, and a future of being trans.
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