-
His Package
- Objects of Attraction Series, Book 4
- Narrated by: CJ Bloom, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 5 hrs and 23 mins
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Publisher's summary
Normally, I was more of a cat person. As in, if I had to choose who lives, I'm going to take the cat nine times out of 10. It's not that I particularly like cats, I just don't particularly like most people.
My neighbor wasn't most people. He lived in the apartment across the hall, and he was your typical, buttoned-up, fancy shoes, smells like a Calvin Klein commercial, looks like he actually flosses kind of guy. I mean, seriously? Wasn't flossing just made up by dentists so they could go on their little power trips once every six months?
The point was, this guy very obviously had his life all put together. He was Mr. Perfect, and If you asked me, he needed to be brought down a few pegs to wallow with the rest of us.
Cue his long, thick, package penetrating my tight little mailbox.
I accidentally dropped a knife on the package a few times back in my apartment. It basically sprang open on its own, and I had no choice but to look inside. His dirty little secret was staring me right in the face. As it turned out, Mr. Perfect wasn't so perfect. Who knew?
Hint: I knew. And I was absolutely going to enjoy every second of what was coming.
Contains mature themes.
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Story
My new boss likes rules, but there's one nobody dares to break... No touching his banana. Seriously. The guy is like a potassium addict. Of course, I touched it. If you want to get technical, I actually put it in my mouth. I chewed it up, too....I even swallowed. I know. Bad, bad, girl. Then I saw him, and believe it or not, choking on a guy's banana does not make the best first impression. I should backtrack a little here. Before I ever touched a billionaire's banana, I got my first real assignment as a business reporter.
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Fun, Funny and Sexy!
- By Kindle Customer on 01-08-19
By: Penelope Bloom
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Send Me Crazy
- Hot in the City, Book 1
- By: T. Gephart
- Narrated by: Stephen Dexter, Tanya Eby
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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A note, a pair of panties, and a date. When Quinn’s efforts to set up her best friend go awry, she finds herself with a crazy blind date. Could the mystery man be her soul mate? Nothing like an adventure, and at the very least, she is going to have some fun with it.
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Laugh Out Loud Rom-Com
- By Denise Hoover on 05-06-20
By: T. Gephart
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Licked
- By: Brooke Blaine
- Narrated by: Luci Christian
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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As the owner of Licked, an eclectic ice creamery and bar, Ryleigh Phillips doesn't have time for that love stuff. Serving up Nibble My Nuts sundaes and Drunken Sailor boozy shakes are as close to an orgasmic affair as she's had in months thanks to her expanding empire - until the night of her 10-year high-school reunion. When Ryleigh's crush, gorgeous ex-football god Cameron Mathis, comes streaking into her life (literally - streaking), she begins to wonder if she really can have it all. Enter Hunter Morgan, the contractor in charge of Licked's renovations....
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❤🩶🖤
- By ariel dugger on 04-20-23
By: Brooke Blaine
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Chase Me
- Broke and Beautiful Series, Book 1
- By: Tessa Bailey
- Narrated by: Rachel Dulude
- Length: 7 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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College drop-out Roxy Cumberland moved to New York with dreams of becoming an actress, but her dwindling bank account is quickly putting the kibosh on that fantasy. To make some quick cash, she signs up to perform singing telegrams. Her first customer is a gorgeous, cocky Manhattan trust-funder if she ever laid eyes on one. And what could be more humiliating than singing an ode to his junk, courtesy of his last one-night stand? Maybe the fact that she's dressed in a giant pink bunny costume....
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Loved it
- By Kathleen D. on 12-26-20
By: Tessa Bailey
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Bastard Bachelor Society
- The Bachelors Club, Book 1
- By: Sara Ney
- Narrated by: Muffy Newtown, Teddy Hamilton
- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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What is The Bachelor Society? It's a gentleman's club - like the dignified men of the past used to have. Except, we're not gentleman, and we’re not dignified. We're ineligible bachelors; bored, jaded and not looking for relationships. Quite the opposite actually.... We're so committed to being single, we've created a high stakes bet to see who can remain single the longest. Rules are involved. Prizes. Laugh it up, but I'm no loser.
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Bastard Bachelor Society
- By whatcha.listening.to on 05-14-20
By: Sara Ney
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Wrong Bed, Right Guy
- Come Undone, Book 1
- By: Katee Robert
- Narrated by: Kasha Kensington
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Prim and proper art gallery coordinator Elle Walser is no good at seducing men. Heck, she's been throwing hints at her boss for months, but he's completely clueless. Desperate to escape her mother's matchmaking efforts, she comes up with a plan - buy some lingerie and climb into her boss' bed. The plan goes brilliantly...until she accidentally seduces a sexy stranger instead. Bad boy nightclub mogul Gabe Schultz just had the best almost-sex of his life. Too bad the smoking hot blonde thought he was his brother and bolted before he could finish what they started.
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Wrong Might Be Right
- By Ebony on 03-23-13
By: Katee Robert
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Prince of Lies
- By: Lucy Lennox
- Narrated by: Michael Dean
- Length: 10 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Rowe Prince is many things. But when it turns out Rowe’s lies conceal a secret that threatens the company I’ve spent years building, I have to choose: say goodbye to the sweet pretender I’m falling for, or risk everything for a man who just might be… the prince of lies.
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The blurb is misleading--in a good way!
- By heinouslizard on 03-04-23
By: Lucy Lennox
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Down with Love
- Laws of Attraction
- By: Kate Meader
- Narrated by: Pippa Jayne, Jason Clarke
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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If you ever get married, remember my name: Max Henderson. In my line of work, you acquire a certain perspective on supposedly everlasting unions. But some guys are willing to take a chance. Like my brother, who thinks he’s going to ride off into the sunset with the woman of his dreams in a haze of glitter on unicorns. And the wedding planner - the green-eyed beauty who makes a living convincing suckers to shell out thousands of dollars on centerpieces - is raking it in on this matrimonial monstrosity. As the best man, I know her game - and I can play it better than her.
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A HEARTFELT ROMANCE WITH A DELICIOUS SLOW BURN
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 12-11-19
By: Kate Meader
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Misadventures of a City Girl
- Misadventures, Book 1
- By: Meredith Wild, Chelle Bliss
- Narrated by: Jennifer Mack, Lance Greenfield
- Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Fresh off a divorce from a Hollywood hotshot, Madison Atwood needs an escape. With the paparazzi fresh on her heels and her love life splashed on every tabloid, she runs away to a swanky retreat in Northern California. Avalon Springs is the mountainside haven she needs to find herself again. Luke Dawson lives off the grid, preferring solitude to society. When he finds a beautiful woman soaking in the hot springs on his property, he can't stop himself from watching her. She captures his attention, but she's just a city girl - a beautiful distraction disturbing the peace.
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Ugh!
- By Cathy Landerman on 09-21-17
By: Meredith Wild, and others
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The Bad Boy's Girl
- By: Blair Holden
- Narrated by: Laura Hopatcong, Douglas Berger
- Length: 15 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Tessa O'Connell is a girl as ordinary as they come - or so she thinks. Her aim for senior year is to keep her head down yet somehow manage to convince her childhood love, Jay Stone, to love her back. What she isn't prepared for is for Jay's brother, Cole, to return to town and change the life she's always been seemingly content to live. Tall, gorgeous as all hell, and a bad boy with ocean blue eyes and the perfect edge of adorability, he was her greatest tormentor, her number one enemy.
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I love this story!!!
- By Amazon Customer on 07-06-18
By: Blair Holden
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Accidentally Amy
- By: Lynn Painter
- Narrated by: Amy Melissa Bentley
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Isabella Shay is usually a very honest person. But when she's running late for her first day at a dream job and the barista yells for "Amy" three times with no answer, she does the unthinkable. Izzy takes that PSL. But when she turns around and runs directly into the most attractive man she's ever seen, spilling the drink all over his GQ shirt and tie, she ends up having the ultimate meet-cute. Sparks fly and things feel beyond promising until he says the words, "See you tomorrow, Amy." Uh, oh-she'll definitely have to straighten him out the following day.
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The banter is everything
- By Kenz on 12-30-22
By: Lynn Painter
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Boss Man Bridegroom
- By: Meghan Quinn
- Narrated by: Kelsey Navarro Foster, Connor Crais
- Length: 13 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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How did I go from being insulted by Charlee Cox to hiring her to be my assistant? How is it that she’s chaos in color - making me crazy and my life better at the same time? I never thought I would be staring down at her bright blue eyes begging me to go along with the ridiculous scheme I suggested. Yes, I suggested it. Like the idiot I am, I thought hey, why not start an HR nightmare and have my assistant ask me to marry her? Confused? Don’t worry, so am I.
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Disappointing Female Narration
- By Amazon Customer on 05-15-21
By: Meghan Quinn
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The Modern Gentleman
- By: Meghan Quinn
- Narrated by: Kelsey Navarro Foster, Connor Crais
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Oldest story in the book: boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, boy screws up massively, girl tells boy to suffocate in the fruits of his very own unborn children. Heard it before? I'm sure you have. So what's so different about this story? Well, it's about me, The Modern Gentleman, New York City's top advice columnist, and my rather ungraceful downfall from my pristinely polished pedestal. It's about a girl I met who threw all my proven theories to the wind and left me awkward, needy, and absolutely head-over-wing-tipped shoes in love.
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Cute Story
- By Lisa on 06-23-21
By: Meghan Quinn
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Pride and Protest
- By: Nikki Payne
- Narrated by: Kacie Rogers, Ron Nery Jr.
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Liza B.—the only DJ who gives a jam—wants to take her neighborhood back from the soulless property developer dropping unaffordable condos on every street corner in DC. But her planned protest at a corporate event takes a turn after she mistakes the smoldering-hot CEO for the waitstaff. When they go toe-to-toe, the sparks fly—but her impossible-to-ignore family thwarts her every move. Liza wants Dorsey Fitzgerald out of her hood, but she’ll settle for getting him out of her head.
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The CHEMISTRY
- By Kristen Killen on 09-18-23
By: Nikki Payne
What listeners say about His Package
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Romance Junkie 2.0
- 01-19-24
An Unlikely Pair
A rich man hiding from his step sister and a woman who purposefully keeps her emotional distance from others. An unlikely pair who fall for each other.
Funny and unusual secondary characters, great dialogue.
A funny unique story that has never a dull moment!
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- Heather
- 10-27-21
Laughed out loud!
My rating scale:
5☆ - I loved this book and it brought out true emotion in me (laughter, anger, a good cry, etc)
4☆ - I loved this book.
3☆ - I liked this book.
2☆ - I didn't really care for this book.
1☆ - I did not like this book at all and probably did not finish it.
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- Mel
- 10-18-24
This was absolutely hilarious in an almost dark and deliciously depraved way.
A fun relationship, revenge plots, spy equipment, a sassy grandma, and an over indulged man child, thrown with some steamy sex - what more could ask for?
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- 🔥 Phx17 🔥
- 10-30-24
Channeling Wednesday Adams
A loved Lilith’s not at all low key prickliness in the previous books, but didn’t quite feel the chemistry between her and Liam. Maybe that’s because Liam was a little too strait-laced, even if he eventually drinks Lilith’s strange brew. Or maybe it was because the Looney Toons arms race of sabotage that
I expected never quite got things to the absurdity I’ve come to expect in this series.
It was still a fun listen, short enough not to overstay the inanity, and frisky enough to deliver the right amount of smexy times. I’m also still enjoying the cameos of the previous MCs.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Cindy and Chris
- 08-19-20
Penelope did it again....love
CJ Bloom And Alex rocked this story out with an awesome bang as usual. Penelope Bloom wrote another great story.
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- Kindle Customer
- 10-21-22
loved it
Loved it !! this story. the narrator is so fantastic it's like your really there!! good overall
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- Sammy G.
- 10-31-24
Laugh out loud!!! Original!!
This rom com is one of the best I’ve read this year! It’s smart, quirky and quite witted! The chemistry of Lilith and Liam is amazing and the story development is entertaining! The story had me laughing out loud. Highly recommend this for a movie adaptation.
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- Kindle Customer
- 03-23-24
love this series
I really enjoyed reading this author. I look forward to reading more books by this author in the near future.
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- Alilah
- 02-16-24
funny
this was so funny loved every bit of the story. worth all the time. must listen.
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- Nm
- 04-08-24
Quick and hilarious
I laughed through the book- very low drama and fast paced. Lilleth is hysterical- I felt like I was listening to myself so it’s my kind of humor. Bloom and Cendese are great together. Good feels book!
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