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Hits and Misses
- Narrated by: Simon Rich
- Length: 3 hrs and 52 mins
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Publisher's summary
A hilarious collection inspired by a former Saturday Night Live writer's real experiences in Hollywood, chronicling the absurdity of fame and the humanity of failure in a world dominated by social media influencers and reality TV stars.
Simon Rich is "one of the funniest writers in America" (The Daily Beast) - a humorist who draws comparisons to Douglas Adams (The New York Times Book Review) and James Thurber and P.G. Wodehouse (The Guardian). With Hits and Misses, he's back with a hilarious new collection of stories about dreaming big and falling flat, about ordinary people desperate for stardom and the stars who are bored by having it all.
Inspired by Rich's real experiences in Hollywood, Hits and Misses chronicles all the absurdity of fame and success alongside the heartbreaking humanity of failure. From a bitter tell-all by the horse Paul Revere rode to greatness to a gushing magazine profile of everyone's favorite World War II dictator, these stories roam across time and space to skewer our obsession with making it big - from the days of ancient Babylon to the age of TMZ.
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Critic reviews
"Great writers tend to arrive when we need them most, and at this moment Simon Rich is a comedic godsend. Hits and Misses is a motherlode of silly, inventive, absurd brilliance. My admiration for Rich is rivaled only by my jealousy." (Conan O'Brien)
"Flights of fancy from preternaturally gifted humorist Rich.... Shades of Christopher Moore's slapstick...[and] Python-esque medieval farce.... He has a sweet spot between mockery and respect for old Hollywood...lovingly crafted comedies from a writer beginning to match wit with wisdom." (Kirkus)
"Simon Rich is the Stephen King of comedy writing. From the first lines, he pulls you into a world of hilarious, simple, kind, determined, dumb, and bizarrely proud characters who, like all of us, are terrified of being embarrassed. He is the funniest writer I have ever met and Hits and Misses is his best collection of stories." (John Mulaney)
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In Hollywood, fame can be found on every corner and behind any door. You just have to know where to look for it. Nineteen-year-old Madison Parker made a name for herself as best frenemy of nice-girl-next-door Jane Roberts on the hot reality show L.A. Candy. Now Madison's ready for her turn in the spotlight and she'll stop at nothing to get it. Sure, she's the star of a new show, but with backstabbing friends and suspicious family members trying to bring her down, Madison has her work cut out for her.
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One of the best narrators I've ever heard!
- By Kindle Customer on 05-09-17
By: Lauren Conrad
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The Mad Scientist's Guide to World Domination
- Original Short Fiction for the Modern Evil Genius
- By: John Joseph Adams - editor
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki, Mary Robinette Kowal, Justine Eyre
- Length: 15 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Mad scientists have never had it so tough. In super-hero comics, graphic novels, films, TV series, video games, and even works of what may be fiction, they are besieged by those who stand against them, devoid of sympathy for their irrational, megalomaniacal impulses to rule, destroy, or otherwise dominate the world as we know it. It’s just not fair. So those of us who are so twisted and sick that we love mad scientists have created this guide.
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HAND DANCING
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 05-30-15
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Croak
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Fed up with her wild behavior, 16-year-old Lex’s parents ship her off to upstate New York to live with her Uncle Mort for the summer, hoping that a few months of dirty farm work will whip her back into shape. But Uncle Mort’s true occupation is much dirtier than shoveling manure. He’s a Grim Reaper. And he’s going to teach Lex the family business. She quickly assimilates into the peculiar world of Croak, a town populated by reapers who deliver souls from this life to the next.
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Juvenile
- By Mark Faine on 09-23-13
By: Gina Damico
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The Chaos of Standing Still
- By: Jessica Brody
- Narrated by: Amy McFadden
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Ryn has one unread text message on her phone. And it's been there for almost a year. She hasn't tried to read it. She can't. She won't. Because that one message is the last thing her best friend ever said to her before she died. But as Ryn finds herself trapped in the Denver International Airport on New Year's Eve thanks to a never-ending blizzard on the one-year anniversary of her best friend's death, fate literally runs into her. And his name is Xander.
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This book is wild!
- By World's Favorite Graham Cracker on 07-02-24
By: Jessica Brody
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The Collectors' Society
- The Collectors' Society, Book 1
- By: Heather Lyons
- Narrated by: Gemma Dawson
- Length: 12 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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After years in Wonderland, Alice has returned to England as an adult, desperate to reclaim sanity and control over her life. An enigmatic gentleman with an intriguing job offer too tempting to resist changes her plans for a calm existence. Soon, she's whisked to New York and initiated into the Collectors' Society, a secret organization whose members confirm that famous stories are anything but straightforward and that what she knows about the world is only a fraction of the truth.
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A true adventure full of the classics!
- By evelyn torres on 06-17-17
By: Heather Lyons
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The Actor and the Housewife
- By: Shannon Hale
- Narrated by: Christina Moore
- Length: 14 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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When Becky, a housewife with screenwriting dreams, attracts the interest of Felix, a Hollywood star, the two quickly become friends. Though the sexual tension is obvious, Becky has no intention of cheating on her husband - but would Felix cheat on his wife? As their friendship blossoms, rumors and suspicion threaten to derail their platonic love.
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Thought Provoking
- By sts2000 on 09-14-09
By: Shannon Hale
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Whatshisface
- By: Gordon Korman
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross
- Length: 5 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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When 12-year-old Cooper Vega moves for the third time in five years, he receives a state-of-the-art smartphone to help him stay in touch with old friends. He's had phones before, but this one is buggy and unpredictable. When a boy named Roderick Northrop communicates with him through the phone, Cooper realizes that his phone isn't buggy at all; the thing is haunted!
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Every 7th grader should read this book!
- By Curious on 11-02-18
By: Gordon Korman
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The Hum and the Shiver
- The Tufa Novels, Book 1
- By: Alex Bledsoe
- Narrated by: Emily Janice Card, Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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No one knows where the Tufa came from or how they ended up in the mountains of east Tennessee. When the first Europeans came to the Smoky Mountains, the Tufa were already there. Dark-haired and enigmatic, they live quietly in the hills and valleys of Cloud County, their origins lost to history. But there are clues in their music, hidden in the songs they have passed down for generations.
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Excellent story that combines music and folklore
- By T. L. Walker on 10-01-15
By: Alex Bledsoe
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My Year with Eleanor
- A Memoir
- By: Noelle Hancock
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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After losing her high-octane job as an entertainment blogger, Noelle Hancock was lost. About to turn 29, she'd spent her career writing about celebrities' lives and had forgotten how to live her own. Unemployed and full of self-doubt, she had no idea what she wanted out of life. She feared change - in fact, she feared almost everything. Once confident and ambitious, she had become crippled by anxiety, lacking the courage required even to attend a dinner party - until inspiration struck one day in the form of a quote on a chalkboard in a coffee shop.
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Right on time!
- By Leah on 02-19-18
By: Noelle Hancock
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Down on Me
- By: J. Kenner
- Narrated by: Noah Michael Levine
- Length: 4 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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With his tight muscles and vibrant ink, certified bachelor Reece Walker is the kind of man who’s used to having any woman he craves in his bed - except Jenna Montgomery. She’s been his best friend for years, and that’s a line he just can’t cross. Until a wild, stolen kiss changes everything. Now anything goes, and Reece is determined to use every wicked skill in his sensual repertoire to claim Jenna as his friend, his lover, his everything.
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Good listen!
- By Virginia on 08-18-18
By: J. Kenner
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It Should've Been Me
- By: ReShonda Tate Billingsley
- Narrated by: Mia Ellis
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Tamara Collins is poised to become the next great American actress. The only problem is that Hollywood doesn't know it yet. Since her bills aren't paying themselves though, Tamara decides to sign on to star in the new stage play, It Should've Been Me. Tamara wants to just get in, get out, and get paid, but her co-stars - including Donovan Dobbs, her ex that left her at the altar, and Camille Woods, a young starlet with a serious grudge - could make this the worst decision Tamara's ever made.
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Enjoyable
- By PB on 06-18-17
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Double Feature
- A Novel
- By: Owen King
- Narrated by: Holter Graham
- Length: 16 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Unraveling the tumultuous, decades-spanning story of the Dolan family’s friends, lovers, and adversaries, Double Feature is about letting go of everything - regret, resentment, ambition, dignity, moving pictures, the dead - and taking it again from the top. Combining propulsive storytelling and mordant wit against the backdrop of indie filmmaking, Double Feature brims with a deep understanding of the trials of ambition and art, of relationships and life, and of our attempts to survive it all.
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Worst book ever! Well maybe.
- By Randall on 08-11-17
By: Owen King
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3 ½ stars. Some clever ideas.
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Welcome to Heaven, Inc., the grossly mismanaged corporation in the sky. For as long as anyone can remember, the founder and CEO (known in some circles as "God") has been phoning it in. When God decides to retire (to pursue his lifelong dream of opening an Asian Fusion restaurant), he also decides to destroy Earth. The angels manage to strike a deal with their boss. He'll call off his Armageddon, if they can solve their toughest miracle yet: getting the two most socially awkward humans on the planet to fall in love.
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Fun book!
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In "Center of the Universe", God struggles to balance the demands of his career with the needs of his long-term girlfriend. In "Magical Mr. Goat", a young girl's imaginary friend yearns to become more than friends. In "Unprotected", an unused prophylactic recalls his years spent trapped inside a teen boy's wallet. The stories in Simon Rich's new audiobook are bizarre, funny, and yet...relatable. Rich explores love's many complications--losing it, finding it, breaking it, and making it--and turns the ordinary into the absurd.
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Amusing at first...
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Before he was “Babe” or “The Sultan of Swat” or “The Great Bambino”, George Herman Ruth was just another teenage misfit at St. Mary’s School for Boys. But Ruth has something the other boys don’t, and when Baltimore Orioles manager Jack Dunn watches him throw a baseball over a building, Ruth gets the chance to punch his ticket out of the orphanage. All he has to do now is make the team.
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Great Story, not for kids
- By Stormy Jones on 07-06-19
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3 ½ stars. Some clever ideas.
- By Jane on 12-20-14
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Fun book!
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Amusing at first...
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Before he was “Babe” or “The Sultan of Swat” or “The Great Bambino”, George Herman Ruth was just another teenage misfit at St. Mary’s School for Boys. But Ruth has something the other boys don’t, and when Baltimore Orioles manager Jack Dunn watches him throw a baseball over a building, Ruth gets the chance to punch his ticket out of the orphanage. All he has to do now is make the team.
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Great Story, not for kids
- By Stormy Jones on 07-06-19
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What listeners say about Hits and Misses
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Tom Craven
- 09-12-22
Enjoyable set of comedic and sometimes thought-provoking short stories
If you enjoy fiction as something to amuse yourself and pass the time while you hurtle toward the grave, and you are (or have ever been) a thoughtful young adult working through intellectual status issues, you should certainly listen to this book.
If you’re looking for something deeper from fiction — new perspectives and heuristics on the world — there are even a few pretty valuable ideas here that will stick with you for a bit. The author’s worldview is consistent throughout, and even if it doesn’t have any particularly profound overall message, it is intelligent and self-aware and explores story premises to worthwhile effect.
I think that authorial worldview may be something like: “Might as well amuse yourself as you hurtle toward the grave, and isn’t it interesting to combine things in unexpected ways? Also social status and celebrity gossip are as essential as food and sleep, and I was born to Jewish American royalty of some sort or another in the 1980s.”
That last part might be relevant if you read fiction to develop empathy for others, although if that’s the case I’m guessing — and the author seems to be guessing too — that it’s a perspective you may already be familiar with. It’s the kind of worldview and writing you’d train an AI on if you wanted it to publish fiction in the New Yorker.
But the stories also contain a hint of the rising relative importance of family, parenthood, and relationships. Given my own stage of life, I’m quite interested to see how the author’s work evolved, and am on my way to check out his more recent work as soon as I finish this review. I expect it will be enjoyable, and I hope it will contain more insights about life that might change my own worldview for the better.
Re: the narration, it is the author reading and there are no issues with his voice or delivery. He doesn’t entirely go for it on a couple voices — e.g. the court jester’s comic voice — but that was probably the prudent choice.
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- Francisca C Wu
- 05-19-20
Funny stories
I love compilations of stories, and even better when they're funny. I can alsonlosten to this one with my kids and laugh with them. Highly recommend!
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- Nancy Wang
- 07-23-19
funny
funny funny funny. need to write 15 words to be posted. hilarious enjoyable and lol
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3 people found this helpful
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- Kevin
- 12-11-19
why?
why narrate ur own book with a voice like that? just get a professional for God's sake
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3 people found this helpful
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- Jerry Michaels
- 08-02-18
Loved it
So funny. You will wish it never ended. He could go on and on telling stories, and I would sit and listen.
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- ian
- 09-21-18
Simon Rich is the best
No one is writing funny prose this good today. Simon Rich is simply the best out there. Some of these stories I have listened to over again and played for friends.
This is what comic fiction can be.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 05-16-20
i fuckin love simon rich
i knew this man was a great writer from reading stuff he’s published in papers and stuff but damn, i thoroughly enjoyed this this was great
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-29-23
Unique, clever, beautifully ridiculous!
Simon Rich has a one-of-a-kind comedic voice. All of his collections are head-shakingly amusing. I find myself laughing out loud frequently — which is embarrassing when I listen on my earbuds in a public place. His humor is … unique. If you are looking for generic, obvious comedy then this audiobook is not for you.
ENJOY!!
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- Carolyn
- 04-02-23
I Failed To Hear The Humor
After reading the summary, and nearly every review I was looking forward to an enjoyable afternoon of comedy and laughter. I could not have been more disappointed. After the first 30 minutes I thought about returning the book to Audible, but thought it had to get better based on the reviews. It never got any better I’m sorry to say. The stories were predictable and boring. Save your credit, I wish I had.
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