Miniatures
The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi
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By:
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John Scalzi
About this listen
The ex-planet Pluto has a few choice words about being thrown out of the solar system. A listing of alternate histories tells you all the various ways Hitler has died. A lawyer sues an interplanetary union for dangerous working conditions. And four artificial intelligences explain, in increasingly worrying detail, how they plan not to destroy humanity. Welcome to Miniatures: The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi.
These four stories, along with 14 other pieces, have one thing in common: They're short, sharp, and to the point - science fiction in miniature, with none of the stories longer than 2,300 words. But in that short space exist entire universes, absurd situations, and the sort of futuristic humor that propelled Scalzi to a Hugo with his novel Redshirts. Not to mention yogurt taking over the world (as it would).
Spanning the years from 1991 to 2016, this collection is a quarter century of Scalzi at his briefest and best and features four never-before-published stories exclusive to this collection: "Morning Announcements at the Lucas Interspecies School for Troubled Youth", "Your Smart Appliances Talk About You Behind Your Back", "Important Holidays on Gronghu", and "The AI Are Absolutely Positively Without a Doubt Not Here to End Humanity, Honest".
John Scalzi is the New York Times best-selling author of Old Man's War, Lock In, and Redshirts, among others. His work has won the Hugo and Locus Awards and been nominated for the Nebula and Campbell Awards. He lives in Ohio and online. He enjoys pie.
Full cast of narrators includes Oliver Wyman, Dina Pearlman, and Allyson Johnson.
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Horror, Humor, and Heroes is a collection of twelve short stories, one novella, and a preview for my next novel that should contain enough variety to entertain you readers. Sample some of my finest offerings, such as - a guardian wolf fearing the coming of man, a producer willing to do anything to bring the first pay per view live werewolf hunt to the world, and a zombie running for congress.
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Not bad but short stories shouldn't be this short.
- By C. B. Pemberton on 02-20-15
By: Jim Bernheimer
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Family Law
- Family Law Series, Book 1
- By: Mackey Chandler
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 17 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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People love easily. Look at most of your relatives or coworkers. How lovable are they? Really? Yet most have mates and children. The vast majority are still invited to family gatherings and their relatives will speak to them. Many have pets to which they are devoted. Some even call them their fur-babies. Is your dog or cat or parakeet property or family? Not in law but in your heart? Can a pet really love you back? Or is it a different affection? Are you not kind to those who feed and shelter you? But what if your dog could talk back? Would your cat speak to you kindly?
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Excellent story and very probable
- By Jack Daniels on 08-12-18
By: Mackey Chandler
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The Draco Tavern
- By: Larry Niven
- Narrated by: Tom Weiner
- Length: 6 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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When a tremendous spacecraft takes orbit around Earth's moon and begins sending smaller landers down toward the North Pole, the newly arrived visitors quickly set up a permanent spaceport in Siberia. Their presence attracts many, including Rick Schumann, who establishes a tavern catering to all the various species of visiting aliens, a place he calls the Draco Tavern. From the mind of best-selling author Larry Niven come 27 tales and vignettes from this interstellar gathering place.
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A Great Listen
- By D. Arkless on 04-07-07
By: Larry Niven
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Emily the Strange
- The Lost Days
- By: Rob Reger
- Narrated by: Angela Goethals
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Emily the Strange: 13 years old. Able to leap tall buildings, probably, if she felt like it. More likely to be napping with her four black cats; or cobbling together a particle accelerator out of lint, lentils, and safety pins; or rocking out on drums/ guitar/ saxophone/ zither; or painting a swirling feral sewer mural; or forcing someone to say "swirling feral sewer mural" 13 times fast.... and pointing and laughing.
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Grrrrrrrrrraaattrt!!!
- By Vkatz76 on 05-20-23
By: Rob Reger
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How to Host a Viking Funeral
- The Case for Burning Your Regrets, Chasing Your Crazy Ideas, and Becoming the Person You're Meant to Be
- By: Kyle Scheele
- Narrated by: Kyle Scheele
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Turning 30, artist and speaker Kyle Scheele wanted to do something unusual to mark this milestone. Instead of a birthday bash, he decided to hold a funeral to memorialize the decade of his life that was ending. Building a 16-foot Viking ship out of cardboard, he invited friends to help him set it on fire—a symbolic farewell to his 20s and all the grief, regret, and mistakes that accompanied those years.
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underwhelming
- By Amazon Customer on 12-11-22
By: Kyle Scheele
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Origins of a D-List Supervillain
- By: Jim Bernheimer
- Narrated by: Jeffrey Kafer
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Even D-list supervillains have to start somewhere. Follow Cal Stringel's misadventures as he climbs to the lowest levels of supervillany in the prequel to the smash hit, Confessions of a D-List Supervillain. Angry that he wouldn't be known as the engineer who made Ultraweapon's force blasters, Cal resigns to chase after a bigger, better paycheck. However, the Promethia Corporation isn't going to let him go that easily and sets out to make his life a living hell.
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BEING A VILLIAN IS NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU KNOW,
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 08-19-17
By: Jim Bernheimer
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The Collapsing Empire
- The Interdependency, Book 1
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Our universe is ruled by physics, and faster-than-light travel is not possible - until the discovery of The Flow, an extradimensional field we can access at certain points in space-time that transports us to other worlds, around other stars. Humanity flows away from Earth, into space, and in time forgets our home world and creates a new empire, the Interdependency, whose ethos requires that no one human outpost can survive without the others. It's a hedge against interstellar war - and a system of control for the rulers of the empire.
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THE STUPIDITIES OF COURT
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 04-01-17
By: John Scalzi
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Cat Daddy
- What the World's Most Incorrigible Cat Taught Me About Life, Love, and Coming Clean
- By: Jackson Galaxy, Joel Derfner
- Narrated by: Jackson Galaxy
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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In this book, Galaxy tells the poignant story of his 13-year relationship with a petite gray-and-white short-haired cat named Benny, and gives singular advice for living with, caring for, and loving the feline in your home. When Benny arrived in his life, Galaxy was a down-and-out rock musician with not too much more going on than a part-time job at an animal shelter and a drug problem. Benny's previous owner brought the cat to the shelter in a cardboard box to give him up.
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10 Stars!!!
- By Dawn J on 12-04-12
By: Jackson Galaxy, and others
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It Takes Two
- Our Story
- By: Jonathan Scott, Drew Scott
- Narrated by: Drew Scott, Jonathan Scott
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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It Takes Two: Our Story shares never-before-revealed tales of the Scott brothers' childhood and rise to fame - from starting their first business at seven years old and their years modeling and acting to their first house purchase at the impressive young age of 18. They soon found their true passion in life, combining their natural gifts for entertaining with the skills they learned from buying, renovating, and selling homes.
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Not Worth the Time or $2.95
- By Sharlotte on 03-06-18
By: Jonathan Scott, and others
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The God Engines
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Captain Ean Tephe is a man of faith, whose allegiance to his lord and to his ship is uncontested. The Bishopry Militant knows this — and so, when it needs a ship and crew to undertake a secret, sacred mission to a hidden land, Tephe is the captain to whom the task is given....
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I love Scalzi's writing but not this book
- By Tony Loman on 11-29-11
By: John Scalzi
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A Very Scalzi Christmas
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- Length: 2 hrs and 59 mins
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New York Times best-selling and Hugo Award-winning author John Scalzi gift-wraps 15 short takes on the holiday season - interviews with holiday notables, "informational" articles about TV specials and Christmas carols, short stories and poems, and even a couple of nods to Thanksgiving and New Year’s - and puts them all into a stocking stuffer-sized package that makes the perfect gift for friends, family, or yourself.
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Very Scalzian indeed!
- By Andre Wallace Simonsen on 12-03-19
By: John Scalzi
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The Android's Dream
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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A human diplomat creates an interstellar incident when he kills an alien diplomat in a most unusual way. To avoid war, Earth's government must find an equally unusual object: A type of sheep ("The Android's Dream"), used in the alien race's coronation ceremony. To find the sheep, the government turns to Harry Creek, ex-cop, war hero and hacker extraordinaire.
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Covertly flatulent Scifi at it's best!
- By DAVID on 11-12-11
By: John Scalzi
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Agent to the Stars
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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The space-faring Yherajk have come to Earth to meet us and to begin humanity's first interstellar friendship. There's just one problem: They're hideously ugly and they smell like rotting fish. So getting humanity's trust is a challenge. The Yherajk need someone who can help them close the deal. Enter Thomas Stein, who knows something about closing deals. He's one of Hollywood's hottest young agents.
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excellent
- By C. Paget on 12-28-10
By: John Scalzi
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The President's Brain Is Missing
- A Tor.Com Original
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: P. J. Ochlan
- Length: 47 mins
- Unabridged
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The question is, how can you tell the President's brain is missing? And are we sure we need it back?
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Not my cup of tea (Kelly SAID)
- By Kelly A McDermott on 09-15-19
By: John Scalzi
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The B-Team
- The Human Division, Episode 1
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 2 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Colonial Union Ambassador Ode Abumwe and her team are used to life on the lower end of the diplomatic ladder. But when a high-profile diplomat goes missing, Abumwe and her team are last minute replacements on a mission critical to the Colonial Union’s future. As the team works to pull off their task, CDF Lieutenant Harry Wilson discovers there’s more to the story of the missing diplomats than anyone expected... a secret that could spell war for humanity.
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Obumwe said, Eagan said, Wilson said, Rickney said
- By A Fitts on 01-18-13
By: John Scalzi
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The God Engines
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 3 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Captain Ean Tephe is a man of faith, whose allegiance to his lord and to his ship is uncontested. The Bishopry Militant knows this — and so, when it needs a ship and crew to undertake a secret, sacred mission to a hidden land, Tephe is the captain to whom the task is given....
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I love Scalzi's writing but not this book
- By Tony Loman on 11-29-11
By: John Scalzi
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A Very Scalzi Christmas
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, Dina Pearlman, Kevin T. Collins, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
New York Times best-selling and Hugo Award-winning author John Scalzi gift-wraps 15 short takes on the holiday season - interviews with holiday notables, "informational" articles about TV specials and Christmas carols, short stories and poems, and even a couple of nods to Thanksgiving and New Year’s - and puts them all into a stocking stuffer-sized package that makes the perfect gift for friends, family, or yourself.
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Very Scalzian indeed!
- By Andre Wallace Simonsen on 12-03-19
By: John Scalzi
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The Android's Dream
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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A human diplomat creates an interstellar incident when he kills an alien diplomat in a most unusual way. To avoid war, Earth's government must find an equally unusual object: A type of sheep ("The Android's Dream"), used in the alien race's coronation ceremony. To find the sheep, the government turns to Harry Creek, ex-cop, war hero and hacker extraordinaire.
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Covertly flatulent Scifi at it's best!
- By DAVID on 11-12-11
By: John Scalzi
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Agent to the Stars
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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The space-faring Yherajk have come to Earth to meet us and to begin humanity's first interstellar friendship. There's just one problem: They're hideously ugly and they smell like rotting fish. So getting humanity's trust is a challenge. The Yherajk need someone who can help them close the deal. Enter Thomas Stein, who knows something about closing deals. He's one of Hollywood's hottest young agents.
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excellent
- By C. Paget on 12-28-10
By: John Scalzi
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The President's Brain Is Missing
- A Tor.Com Original
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: P. J. Ochlan
- Length: 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The question is, how can you tell the President's brain is missing? And are we sure we need it back?
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Not my cup of tea (Kelly SAID)
- By Kelly A McDermott on 09-15-19
By: John Scalzi
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The B-Team
- The Human Division, Episode 1
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 2 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Colonial Union Ambassador Ode Abumwe and her team are used to life on the lower end of the diplomatic ladder. But when a high-profile diplomat goes missing, Abumwe and her team are last minute replacements on a mission critical to the Colonial Union’s future. As the team works to pull off their task, CDF Lieutenant Harry Wilson discovers there’s more to the story of the missing diplomats than anyone expected... a secret that could spell war for humanity.
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Obumwe said, Eagan said, Wilson said, Rickney said
- By A Fitts on 01-18-13
By: John Scalzi
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Slow Time Between the Stars
- The Far Reaches Collection
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Kay Eluvian
- Length: 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Equipped with the entirety of human knowledge, a sentient ship is launched on a last-ditch journey to find a new home for civilization. Trillions of miles. Tens of thousands of years. In the space between, the AI has plenty of time to think about life, the vastness of the universe, everything it was meant to do, and—with a perspective created but not limited by humans—what it should do.
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Lovely story! Lovely performance
- By Lisa on 06-28-23
By: John Scalzi
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Little Fuzzy
- By: H. Beam Piper
- Narrated by: Lee Winfield
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Jack Holloway mines valuable sunstones on the planet Zarathustra. One day, he encounters a small, furry humanoid whom he names Little Fuzzy, who introduces Holloway to his family. Holloway cares for the Fuzzies and spreads the news of their apparently intelligent behavior. When the Company discovers that the Fuzzies' intelligence may qualify them as a sapient species, it takes certain steps.
By: H. Beam Piper
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Shadow War of the Night Dragons, Book One: The Dead City: Prologue
- A Tor.com Original
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: James MacKenzie
- Length: 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Here is Old Man's War author John Scalzi's sendup of the heroic fantasy genre, now a finalist for the Hugo Award for Best Short Story.
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Excellent Prologue, not short story
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 03-05-13
By: John Scalzi
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Redshirts
- A Novel with Three Codas
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Ensign Andrew Dahl has just been assigned to the Universal Union Capital Ship Intrepid, flagship of the Universal Union since the year 2456. Life couldn’t be better…until Andrew begins to pick up on the facts that (1) every Away Mission involves some kind of lethal confrontation with alien forces; (2) the ship’s captain, its chief science officer, and the handsome Lieutenant Kerensky always survive these confrontations; and (3) at least one low-ranked crew member is, sadly, always killed.
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Not his Wheal-house
- By P. Stover on 09-16-13
By: John Scalzi
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The Collapsing Empire
- The Interdependency, Book 1
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Our universe is ruled by physics, and faster-than-light travel is not possible - until the discovery of The Flow, an extradimensional field we can access at certain points in space-time that transports us to other worlds, around other stars. Humanity flows away from Earth, into space, and in time forgets our home world and creates a new empire, the Interdependency, whose ethos requires that no one human outpost can survive without the others. It's a hedge against interstellar war - and a system of control for the rulers of the empire.
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THE STUPIDITIES OF COURT
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 04-01-17
By: John Scalzi
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Lock In (Narrated by Wil Wheaton)
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 9 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Not too long from today, a new, highly contagious virus makes its way across the globe. Most who get sick experience nothing worse than flu, fever, and headaches. But for the unlucky one percent - and nearly five million souls in the United States alone - the disease causes "Lock In": Victims fully awake and aware, but unable to move or respond to stimulus. The disease affects young, old, rich, poor, people of every color and creed. The world changes to meet the challenge.
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Fun! Things you might want to know:
- By Alexis on 08-29-14
By: John Scalzi
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The Dispatcher
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Zachary Quinto
- Length: 2 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Zachary Quinto - best known for his role as the Nimoy-approved Spock in the recent Star Trek reboot and the menacing, power-stealing serial killer, Sylar, in Heroes - brings his well-earned sci-fi credentials and simmering intensity to this audio-exclusive novella from master storyteller John Scalzi. One day, not long from now, it becomes almost impossible to murder anyone - 999 times out of a thousand, anyone who is intentionally killed comes back. How? We don't know.
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IT'S HARD TO GET MYSTICAL ABOUT YOUR JOB
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 10-05-16
By: John Scalzi
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When the Moon Hits Your Eye
- By: John Scalzi
- Length: Not Yet Known
- Unabridged
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For some it’s an opportunity. For others it’s a moment to question their faith: In God, in science, in everything. Still others try to keep the world running in the face of absurdity and uncertainty. And then there are the billions looking to the sky and wondering how a thing that was always just there is now... something absolutely impossible.
By: John Scalzi
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Old Man's War
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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John Perry did two things on his 75th birthday. First he visited his wife's grave. Then he joined the army. The good news is that humanity finally made it into interstellar space. The bad news is that planets fit to live on are scarce—and alien races willing to fight us for them are common. So: we fight. To defend Earth, and to stake our own claim to planetary real estate. Far from Earth, the war has been going on for decades: brutal, bloody, unyielding. Earth itself is a backwater.
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Fun and Witty Military Sci-Fi
- By M. Spencer on 10-21-12
By: John Scalzi
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Constituent Service
- A Third District Story
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 2 hrs and 30 mins
- Original Recording
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Ashley Perrin is fresh out of college and starting a job as a community liaison for the Third District–the city’s only sector with more alien residents than humans. Ashley’s barely found where the paper clips are kept when she’s beset with constituent complaints–from too much noise at the Annual Lupidian Celebration Parade to a trip-and-fall chicken to a very particular type of alien hornet that threatens the very city itself. And if that’s not terrifying enough, Ashley is next up at the office karaoke night.
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Short and fun!
- By Andrew on 10-04-24
By: John Scalzi
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The Kaiju Preservation Society
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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When COVID-19 sweeps through New York City, Jamie Gray is stuck as a dead-end driver for food-delivery apps. That is, until Jamie makes a delivery to an old acquaintance, Tom, who works at what he calls “an animal rights organization”. Tom’s team needs a last-minute grunt to handle things on their next field visit. Jamie, eager to do anything, immediately signs on. What Tom doesn't tell Jamie is that the animals his team cares for are not here on Earth. Not our Earth, at at least. In an alternate dimension, dinosaur-like creatures named Kaiju roam a warm and human-free world.
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I'm listening with a permanent smile on my face
- By Lucy A. Pithecus on 03-15-22
By: John Scalzi
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The Far Reaches
- Stories to Take You Out of This World
- By: James S. A. Corey, Veronica Roth, Rebecca Roanhorse, and others
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin, Soneela Nankani, Shaun Taylor-Corbett, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Look outward beyond the stars with six stories from bestselling visionary authors. An AI awakens to its purpose. A researcher seeds a thousand new worlds for one more chance at love. A murder rocks the crew of an interstellar ship. With a sweeping sense of wonder, these stories explore the galaxy . . . and the horizons of humanity’s potential.
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A real snoozefest
- By mix579 on 07-07-23
By: James S. A. Corey, and others
What listeners say about Miniatures
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Hilary
- 04-13-17
Brighten a dull day some fun
This book is short and light weight but gloriously funny, filled with John Scalzi's imagination par excellence. I laughed all the way through and was sorry when it ended. Recommended with happy laughter to brighten your day.
Excellent narrators, each perfect for the particular part they read, made it even more enjoyable. Thank you Mr Scalzi.
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3 people found this helpful
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- RoniElayne
- 03-15-23
Kind of bizarre
This is a collection of about 18 short stories. If you like science-fiction and love strange aliens then you’ll like these stories. I’m not much into sci-fi so I wasn’t too thrilled with this book.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Marquis Burge
- 03-12-17
Some of the greatest humors of sci-fi unleashed.
I have always been a fan of Scalzi's writing. He's had these streak of books that have never failed to amuse and engage. so sit back and enjoy.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Nomad 2009
- 01-06-17
Overall, more great stories than okay ones
I'm not generally a short story person, but I am a John Scalzi person. Overall, there were a lot of stories that I really liked. And there were a couple that were okay but not gripping. And I'm not a poetry fan.
If you like Scalzi, you'll like this. The narrators do an amazing job. If you're not generally a short story person, listen to the stories and narration.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Nicolas D.
- 02-08-17
Air fresheners will be to provided.
There was some time to kill on both ends, but I mostly loved it. This book is more organized than redshirts, more fun than ghost brigade, more bodily excretion than an Archie comic. Scalzi reads okay, way better than Tom Robbins at reading.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Chad
- 04-30-17
Miniatures: The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi
Rather Funny, Enjoyable short stories,
I highly recommend this collection, especially if you're a fan of Futurama, Twilight Zone, or Star Trek like Parodys, John Scalzi is a great writer. So many authors try to write "humor" but the vast majority of them utterly fail, or accomplish being amusing as opposed to laugh-out-loud funny.
This is a quick listen at about 3hrs, but very entertaining while it lasts. Most of these short pieces are similar in theme and tone: in the vain of the previously mentioned shows above and are somewhat silly takes on how humans would interact with aliens or intelligent machinery, How Pluto felt about being demoted as a planet, life of A booking Agent for Superheros ect
The stories; Namely the resourcefulness and individuality of his characters and the suddenly piercing pathos their stories can evoke. Brings the characters to life and makes it easy to listen to. and flows very well,
The book ends with a poem, different in tone than that of the stories, But a rather impressive one none the less.
Great Narration and Recommended for all
Overall 4 of 5 Stars
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- Danny
- 07-29-17
Short and Funny!
Perfect for someone with the attention span of a gnat.
I particularly enjoyed the stories from an Aliens point of view.
Its also nice to know the perspective of a bitter and suspicious cat.
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-30-21
A series of short stories that will make you laugh
The stories were all a little different and it made it an enjoyable listen. I wiuld recommend it just to hear the different thoughts of the author.
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- Chris
- 05-04-19
Awesome suprise
Was not sure what to expect but all the stories were so perfectly well done and well narrated. Funny, thoughtful, and easy to binge!
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- bet22
- 06-11-23
Collection of humorous stories
Wonderful collection of short stories that are a nice break between books. Covers a variety of topics like an agent for super hero’s and a financial agent for villains. Several alien stories that play on people - alien interactions.
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