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Elliot Allagash
- A Novel
- Narrated by: Richard Powers
- Length: 6 hrs and 22 mins
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Publisher's summary
Simon Rich dazzled readers with his absurdist sense of humor in his hilarious collections Ant Farm and Free-Range Chickens. Now comes Rich’s rollicking debut novel, which explores the strangest, most twisted, and comically fraught terrain of them all: high school.
Seymour Herson is the least popular student at Glendale, a private school in Manhattan. He’s painfully shy, physically inept, and his new nickname, “Chunk-Style”, is in danger of entering common usage. But Seymour’s solitary existence comes to a swift end when he meets the new transfer student: Elliot Allagash, evil heir of America’s largest fortune.
Elliot’s rampant delinquency has already gotten him expelled from dozens of prep schools around the country. But despite his best efforts, he can’t get himself thrown out of Glendale; his father has simply donated too much money. Bitter and bored, Elliot decides to amuse himself by taking up a challenging and expensive new hobby: transforming Seymour into the most popular student in the school.
An unlikely friendship develops between the two loners as Elliot introduces Seymour to new concepts, like power, sabotage, and vengeance. With Elliot as his diabolical strategist and investor, Seymour scores a spot on the basketball team, becomes class president, and ruthlessly destroys his enemies. Yet despite the glow of newfound popularity, Seymour feels increasingly uneasy with Elliot’s wily designs, for an Allagash victory is dishonorable at its best, and ruinous at its worst.
Cunningly playful and wickedly funny, Elliot Allagash is a tale about all of the incredible things that money can buy, and the one or two things that it can’t.
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Critic reviews
“We hired Simon Rich at SNL because of his amazing short fiction. When he told us he was writing a novel we made it clear that were it not up to his previous high standard we would have no choice but to terminate his employment. Well, I just finished Elliot Allagash and I’m happy to say, he still has his job.” (Seth Meyers, Saturday Night Live)
“I found Simon Rich’s first novel, about an evil teenage billionaire, to be suspenseful and hilarious. I am so glad I don’t have to lie in this blurb like I usually do.” (Judd Apatow, producer of Superbad and Knocked Up)
“One of the funniest books about high schoolers since The Catcher in the Rye.” (A. J. Jacobs, New York Times best-selling author)
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Story
True biz? The students at the River Valley School for the Deaf just want to hook up, pass their history finals, and have politicians, doctors, and their parents stop telling them what to do with their bodies. This revelatory novel plunges listeners into the halls of a residential school for the deaf, where they’ll meet Charlie, a rebellious transfer student who’s never met another deaf person before; Austin, the school’s golden boy, whose world is rocked when his baby sister is born hearing; and February, the hearing headmistress.
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A good story with added features both intriguing and informational
- By A Signing Mom on 05-15-22
By: Sara Novic
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The Field Guide to the North American Teenager
- By: Ben Philippe
- Narrated by: James Fouhey
- Length: 9 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Norris is clever, cynical, and quite possibly too smart for his own good. A Black French Canadian, he knows from watching American sitcoms that those three things don’t bode well when you are moving to Texas. Plunked into a new high school, Norris finds himself cataloging everyone he meets: the Cheerleaders, the Jocks, the Loners, and even the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Making a ton of friends has never been a priority for him, and this way he can at least amuse himself until it’s time to go back to Canada, where he belongs. Yet those labels soon become actual people to Norris....
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Heartwarming...but profuse profanity.
- By Dajah B. on 01-28-19
By: Ben Philippe
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Curse of the Arctic Star
- Nancy Drew Diaries, Book 1
- By: Carolyn Keene
- Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie
- Length: 3 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Dear Diary...Bess, George, and I are actually in Alaska! Everywhere you look, there are massive mountains and sparkling, deep-blue waters. We're on the maiden voyage of the Arctic Star luxury cruise ship, and my old friend, Becca Wright, the assistant cruise director, needs our help. She received threatening emails before even setting sail; then a bloody body turned up in the swimming pool.
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Amazing
- By Jennifer on 12-13-16
By: Carolyn Keene
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The Great Expectations School
- A Rookie Year in the New Blackboard Jungle
- By: Dan Brown
- Narrated by: Gregory St. John
- Length: 9 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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At 22, Dan Brown came to the Bronx's P.S. 85 as an eager, fresh-faced teacher. Unbeknownst to him, his assigned class, 4-217, was the designated "dumping ground" for all fourth-grade problem cases, and his students would prove to be more challenging than he could ever anticipate. Intent on being a caring, dedicated teacher but confronted with unruly children, absent parents, and a failing administration, Dan was pushed to the limit time and again: he found himself screaming with rage, punching his fist through a blackboard out of sheer frustration, often just wanting to give up and walk away.
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I had to stop
- By Amazon Customer on 02-03-21
By: Dan Brown
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All Four Stars
- All Four Stars, Book 1
- By: Tara Dairman
- Narrated by: Kathleen McInerney
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Gladys Gatsby has been cooking gourmet dishes since the age of seven, only her fast-food-loving parents have no idea! Now she's 11, and after a crème brûlée accident (just a small fire), Gladys is cut off from the kitchen (and her allowance). She's devastated, but soon finds just the right opportunity to pay her parents back when she's mistakenly contacted to write a restaurant review for one of the largest newspapers in the world.
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Very cute story with great narrator!!
- By TT Mommy on 06-23-23
By: Tara Dairman
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Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life
- By: Wendy Mass
- Narrated by: Andy Paris
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Jeremy Fink has big plans for this summer with his best friend Lizzy, a notorious troublemaker (and no, he does not have a secret crush on her). He has everything he needs within a few blocks of his home, so he never has to leave his little neighborhood. And this summer, he officially becomes a teenager.
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A Feel-Good Story That Opens The Heart & The Mind
- By Hector on 07-12-13
By: Wendy Mass
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P.S. I Like You
- By: Kasie West
- Narrated by: Shannon McManus
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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While spacing out in Chemistry class, Lily scribbles some of her favorite song lyrics onto her desk. The next day, she finds that someone has continued the lyrics on the desk, and added a message to her. Intrigue! Soon, Lily and her anonymous pen pal are exchanging full-on letters - sharing secrets, recommending bands, and opening up to each other. Lily realizes she's kind of falling for this letter writer. Only who is he?
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Perfect!
- By Mary JME on 09-24-16
By: Kasie West
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Paper Things
- By: Jennifer Richard Jacobson
- Narrated by: Kate Rudd
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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When Ari's mother died four years ago, she had two final wishes: that Ari and her older brother, Gage, would stay together always, and that Ari would go to Carter, the middle school for gifted students. So when eighteen-year-old Gage decided he could no longer live with their bossy guardian, Janna, Ari knew she had to go with him - even though she'd miss baking cookies with Janna and curling up to watch HGTV. What Ari didn't realize was that Gage didn't have an apartment yet.
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It's all right…
- By Bill on 04-25-16
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The Earth, My Butt and Other Big Round Things (15th Anniversary Edition)
- By: Carolyn Mackler
- Narrated by: Laura Knight Keating
- Length: 6 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Carolyn Mackler's Printz Honor book - starring the unforgettably funny, body-conscious Virginia Shreves - returns in this 15th anniversary edition featuring text updates and never-before-heard material from the author. Fifteen-year-old Virginia feels like a plus-sized black sheep in her family, especially next to her perfect big brother Byron. Not to mention her best friend has moved, leaving Virginia to navigate an awkward relationship with a boy alone. In order to survive, Virginia decides to follow a "Fat Girl Code of Conduct", which works, until the unthinkable causes her family's facade to crumble.
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LOVE this
- By carrie sanabria on 11-26-18
By: Carolyn Mackler
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Liar, Liar
- The Theory, Practice and Destructive Properties of Deception
- By: Gary Paulsen
- Narrated by: Joshua Swanson
- Length: 2 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Kevin has a big talent. Some might call it compulsive lying. He calls it common sense. Kev doesn’t mean to cause trouble by lying all the time; he’s just trying to make everything easier for everyone (and himself). And, of course, a few harmless, um, falsehoods are crucial to his plan to convince Tina that he’s the perfect boyfriend for her. In Gary Paulsen’s irresistible and chaotic comedy, Kevin’s lies spiral out of control until he’s faced with the need to do the unthinkable: tell the truth.
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Mindless entertainment
- By Melody on 01-21-15
By: Gary Paulsen
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Tesla's Attic
- The Accelerati Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Neal Shusterman, Eric Elfman
- Narrated by: Vikas Adam
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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After their home burns down, fourteen-year-old Nick, his younger brother, and their father move into a ramshackle Victorian house they've inherited. When Nick opens the door to his attic room, he's hit in the head by a toaster. That's just the beginning of his weird experiences with the old junk stored up there. After getting rid of the odd antiques in a garage sale, Nick befriends some local kids - Mitch, Caitlin, and Vincent - and they discover that all of the objects have extraordinary properties.
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Not your typical YA sci-fi story
- By Chrism13 on 02-14-18
By: Neal Shusterman, and others
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Murder of a Small-Town Honey
- A Scumble River Mystery, Book 1
- By: Denise Swanson
- Narrated by: Christine Leto
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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When Skye Denison left Scumble River years ago, she swore she'd never return. But after a bout with her boyfriend and credit card rejection, she's back to home sweet - homicide....
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unacceptable production
- By Music Lover on 06-28-13
By: Denise Swanson
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Abby Carnelia's One and Only Magical Power
- By: David Pogue
- Narrated by: David Pogue
- Length: 5 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Abby Carnelia is an average sixth grader. She gets along okay with her parents, does pretty well in school, and has an annoying little brother. There’s absolutely nothing remarkable about her at all — that is, until the day when she happens to tug on her earlobes while standing in front of a hard-boiled egg. That’s the day Abby discovers there’s something very, very special about her after all: she has a magical power, and there are some people who will do anything to find out where it came from.
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This was a very great Battle Book. I love it alot.
- By Stefan Mayerschoff on 04-26-15
By: David Pogue
What listeners say about Elliot Allagash
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Reid Robinson
- 01-29-16
Great book.
Simon rich is a genius. So many concepts that I never would have even imagined, he just throws in as extra. This is great.
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- Stephen Eren
- 12-16-21
Rich Strikes Rich
Simon Rich is one of the finest writers of our generation. I could not put this down. One day listen!
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