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Hold On to Your Kids
Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers
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Narrated by:
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Gabor Maté MD
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Daniel Maté
About this listen
This parenting classic on one of the most disturbing and misunderstood trends of our time—peers replacing parents in the lives of children—is now more relevant than ever. The latest edition includes new material on how social media and video game culture are affecting our children, and what parents can do.
In Hold On to Your Kids, Dr. Neufeld and Dr. Maté explore the phenomenon of peer orientation: the troubling tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction—for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behavior. But peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; it is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids. Once understood, it becomes self-evident—as do the solutions.
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Critic reviews
“Hold on to Your Kids blows in from Canada like a Blue Northern, bringing us genuinely new ideas and fresh perspectives on parenting. The authors integrate psychology, anthropology, neurology and their own personal and professional experiences as they examine the 'context' of parenting today. This is a worthy book with practical implications for mom and dad.”—Dr. Mary Pipher, author of Reviving Ophelia and The Shelter of Each Other
“With the benefit of 30 years of research and experience, Neufeld has crafted a coherent, compelling theory of child development that will cause an immediate frisson of recognition and acceptance in its readers. His approach has the power to change, if not save, the lives of our children.”—National Post
“Hold on to Your Kids is visionary book that goes beyond the usual explanations to illuminate a crisis of unrecognized proportions. The authors show us how we are losing contact with our children and how this loss undermines their development and threatens the very fabric of society. Most importantly they offer, through concrete examples and clear suggestions, practical help for parents to fulfill their instinctual roles. A brilliant and well written book, one to be taken seriously, very seriously.”—Peter A. Levine Ph.D., International teacher and author of the bestselling books: Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma and It Won’t Hurt Forever: Guiding Your Child through Trauma
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- How to Use the Most Profound Part of Your Brain Under Any Kind of Stress
- By: Steven Stosny PhD
- Narrated by: Michael Quinlan
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Success in work, love, and life depends on developing habits that activate the powerful prefrontal cortex when we need it most. Unfortunately, under stress, the human brain tends to revert to emotional habits we forged in toddlerhood: blame, denial, avoidance, reacting to a jerk like a jerk, and turning our connections into cold shoulders - or worse. In Soar Above, renowned relationship expert Dr. Steven Stosny offers a groundbreaking formula for building new, pressure-resistant habits.
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Life changing/planet changing!
- By rowing girl on 10-02-16
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The Wonder of Boys
- By: Michael Gurian
- Narrated by: Michael Gurian
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Abridged
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What can parents, mentors, and educators do to shape boys into exceptional men? Michael Gurian, a respected therapist, storyteller, and recognized expert in family systems, explains the basic needs of every boy: a primary and extended family, a relationship with mother, father, and mentors, and support from his community.
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Great Book for Mothers and Fathers
- By Janine on 05-20-09
By: Michael Gurian
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How to Love
- By: Gordon Livingston
- Narrated by: James Jenner
- Length: 5 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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The internationally best-selling author of Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, Dr. Gordon Livingston here helps readers discover fulfilling happiness. By recognizing and understanding particular character traits in ourselves and others, we can all learn who best to love - and who best to avoid.
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Honest and right to the point
- By Elisabeth on 02-10-10
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Putting Children First
- Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce
- By: JoAnne Pedro-Carroll
- Narrated by: Karen Saltus
- Length: 11 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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As Dr. JoAnne Pedro-Carroll explains with clarity and compassion in this powerful book, parents can positively alter the immediate and long-term effects of divorce on their children. The key is proven, emotionally intelligent parenting strategies that promote children's emotional health, resilience, and ability to lead satisfying lives. Over the past three decades, Pedro-Carroll has worked with families in transition, conducted research, and developed and directed award- winning, court-endorsed programs that have helped thousands of families navigate divorce and its aftermath.
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PERFECT RESOURCE FOR SEPARATED/DIVORCED
- By Ly on 10-13-16
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Brainstorm
- The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain
- By: Daniel J. Siegel M.D.
- Narrated by: Daniel J. Siegel M.D.
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Between the ages of twelve and twenty-four, the brain changes in important and, at times, challenging ways. In Brainstorm, the renowned psychiatrist and bestselling author of Parenting from the Inside Out, The Whole-Brain Child, and Mindsight, Daniel Siegel busts a number of commonly held myths about adolescence — for example, that it is merely a stage of “immaturity” filled with often “crazy” behavior — to reveal how it is in fact a vital time in our lives in terms of charting the course for the adults we ultimately become.
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Narration for kindergarteners...
- By Kalutha on 03-28-14
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The Journey of the Heroic Parent
- Your Child's Struggle & The Road Home
- By: Brad M. Reedy Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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When a child is hurting, it can be the most painful challenge a parent will face. With compassion and perspective, Dr. Brad Reedy offers hope and wisdom for children who struggle and the parents who love them. The Journey of the Heroic Parent will take you on a journey to a happier, healthier relationship with your struggling child - and yourself. Through lessons learned, mother, father, and child will achieve greater understanding, love, and humanity - no matter what the outcome.
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Loved it! Will read over again and again!
- By wooplicity on 06-21-15
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Boundaries with Kids
- How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children
- By: Henry Cloud, John Townsend
- Narrated by: Henry O. Arnold
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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What the award-winning, best-selling Boundaries has done for adult relationships, Boundaries with Kids will do for you and your children. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend provide the help and guidance you need for raising your kids to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions. With wisdom and empathy, they take you through the ins and outs of instilling the kind of character in your children that will help them lead balanced, productive, and fulfilling adult lives.
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Not what I would recommend as a therapist who works primarily with children
- By Amanda on 02-12-21
By: Henry Cloud, and others
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Building Confidence in Your Child
- By: James Dobson
- Narrated by: Jon Gauger
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Proven ways to improve your child's self-esteem. A solid sense of self-worth helps your child make good choices, develop healthy relationships, and work to achieve his or her dreams. But what's the best way to instill self-confidence while still teaching your child to value and care about others? Based on a biblical understanding of human worth, Building Confidence in Your Child teaches you how to parent positively and help your child grow into a secure adult who is poised for success in life.
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Disappointed
- By Kourtney Bourbina on 04-09-18
By: James Dobson
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Differently Wired
- Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World
- By: Deborah Reber
- Narrated by: Deborah Reber
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Today millions of kids are stuck in a world that doesn't respect, support, or embrace who they really are - these are what Deborah Reber is calling the “differently wired” kids, the one in five children with ADHD, dyslexia, Asperger’s, and other neurodifferences. Their challenges are many. But now there’s hope. Written by Deborah Reber, a best-selling author and mother in the midst of an eye-opening journey with her son who is twice exceptional (he has ADHD, Asperger’s, and is highly gifted), Differently Wired is a how-to, a manifesto, a book of wise advice, and more.
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very well thought out but not for everyone
- By Trudy Owens on 01-01-19
By: Deborah Reber
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The Dolphin Way
- A Parent's Guide to Raising Healthy, Happy, and Motivated Kids - without Turning into a Tiger
- By: Shimi Kang
- Narrated by: Karen Saltus
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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The Dolphin Way walks readers through Dr. Kang’s four-part method for cultivating self-motivation. The audiobook makes a powerful case that we are not forced to choose between being permissive or controlling. The third option—the option that will prepare our kids for success in a future that will require adaptability - is the dolphin way.
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Very easy way to understand complicated subject
- By Nhat on 11-05-18
By: Shimi Kang
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Rethinking Narcissism
- The Bad - and Surprising Good - About Feeling Special
- By: Dr. Craig Malkin
- Narrated by: Kiff VandenHeuvel
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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In Rethinking Narcissism listeners will learn that there's far more to narcissism than its reductive invective would imply. The truth is that narcissists (all of us) fall on a spectrum somewhere between utter selflessness on the one side and arrogance and grandiosity on the other. A healthy middle exhibits a strong sense of self.
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Great info, but proceed with caution
- By Caterina M. Platt on 11-16-17
By: Dr. Craig Malkin
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
- By: Cloe Madanes, Anthony Robbins
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
By: Cloe Madanes, and others
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The Myth of the Spoiled Child
- Challenging the Conventional Wisdom about Children and Parenting
- By: Alfie Kohn
- Narrated by: Alfie Kohn
- Length: 8 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Somehow, deeply conservative assumptions about how children behave and how parents raise them have become the conventional wisdom in our society. It's widely assumed that parents are both permissive and overprotective, unable to set limits and afraid to let their kids fail. We're told that young people receive trophies, praise, and A's too easily, and suffer from inflated self-esteem and insufficient self-discipline. However, complaints about pushover parents and entitled kids are actually decades old and driven, it turns out, by ideology more than evidence.
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good theories, no tangible or practical ideas.
- By Ben on 05-12-15
By: Alfie Kohn
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Very enriching!
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parallels drawn between animal nesting and human nesting are insightful, how humans need to evolve next
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Provoke Critical Thinking Surrounding Education
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Raising Good Humans
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Great Book About Parenting and Teaching Kindness!
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Great recovery tools
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Baffling and beloved, with the capacity to go from joy to frustration in seconds, young children are some of the most misunderstood people on the planet. Parents and caregivers struggle with these little ones, who are known for their extreme behaviour, from tantrums, resistance, and aggression to separation anxiety, bedtime protests, and not listening. The key to understanding youngsters lies in realizing that their challenging behaviour is not personal, nor is it a disorder or deficit.
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Become the parent your kid thinks you are
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Raising Mentally Strong Kids
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Some good points within an unhelpful delivery
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Over the past several years, Dr. Becky Kennedy—known to her followers as “Dr. Becky”—has been sparking a parenting revolution. Millions of parents, tired of following advice that either doesn’t work or simply doesn’t feel good, have embraced Dr. Becky’s empowering and effective approach, a model that prioritizes connecting with our kids over correcting them. Parents have long been sold a model of childrearing that simply doesn’t work. From reward charts to time outs, many popular parenting approaches are based on shaping behavior, not raising humans.
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Sounds Wonderful, Does Not Work
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Best. Parenting. Book. Ever.
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In an Unspoken Voice
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In this culmination of his life’s work, Peter A. Levine draws on his broad experience as a clinician, a student of comparative brain research, a stress scientist and a keen observer of the naturalistic animal world to explain the nature and transformation of trauma in the body, brain and psyche. In an Unspoken Voice is based on the idea that trauma is neither a disease nor a disorder, but rather an injury caused by fright, helplessness and loss that can be healed by engaging our innate capacity to self-regulate high states of arousal and intense emotions.
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Ed Nash shouldn't be reading audio books
- By Zozz on 10-25-17
By: Peter A. Levine, and others
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Raising Securely Attached Kids
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- By: Eli Harwood
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Therapist and wildly popular attachment research expert Eli Harwood (a.k.a. Attachment Nerd) illuminates attachment theory as foundational to the only parenting approach proven to have a lasting impact.
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Practical science based and sound advice
- By Jennifer on 09-17-24
By: Eli Harwood
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The Whole-Brain Child
- 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
- By: Daniel J. Siegel M.D., Tina Payne Bryson
- Narrated by: Daniel J. Siegel M.D., Tina Payne Bryson
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the bestselling Mindsight, and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson offer a revolutionary approach to child rearing with twelve key strategies that foster healthy brain development, leading to calmer, happier children. The authors explain—and make accessible—the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures.
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Several comments on the brain were incorrect.
- By Abelle & Dorian on 04-18-23
By: Daniel J. Siegel M.D., and others
What listeners say about Hold On to Your Kids
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- Stephen
- 03-01-19
Vital
It's probably one of the most important books I've read. Not only does it explain why our culture is headed the direction it is, but it also gives us a way out of the course it's taking us in.
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10 people found this helpful
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- MacDer
- 01-17-21
I wish I had this book with my first child
I wish I had this book with my first child. I love the content of this book as it makes total sense. We as a culture can stand to approach our children in this relationship-oriented manner...we would create a better future for our children and the world. I have already recommended this to my friends and family. I am working hard to put this into practice with my own family. Great narration as well, which is a great bonus!
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2 people found this helpful
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- B. Cheek
- 02-08-24
One of the most crucial parenting books of our time.
A fire hose of information on the importance of a child having a stable relationship with his/her parents vs peers to be able to flourish. With screens and tech, the message of this book is even more desperately needed.
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2 people found this helpful
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- shay
- 03-30-21
much needed info to hear
I recommend this book STRONGLY!! I needed to hear everything spoke and deep down knew - but was lost as someone that grew up without and then slightly with and just wasn't sure if it was my own fear of the unknown causing concern.... please listen - please reach out to your other parents to assist in the village. I for one am contacting all of my pear parents to adjust and assist in creating the new age of "village". thank you!
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1 person found this helpful
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- AnnaLS
- 11-10-20
Would help even those without children
Amazing work. The first 8 chapters are about the signs of peer- oriented children and the risks of that. Finally, chapter 9 onward answers the question of What can we do about it?
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- Rena
- 02-12-24
Hitchhiker’s guide to your kids!
As with everything, take it with a grain of salt. This has been very helpful and insightful in many ways to me. I have a 12yr old active boy, who’s very much in the digital world but also in many sport leagues - his choice. He’s a good kid overall, though it has been tough to get more 1:1 time with him, lately, during dinner time and bed time mainly. I make it a mission to go out at least once a week for us to bond over lunch or dinner at a restaurant. I’ll definitely practice and exercise all the learning on this book. Great guide and reference.
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- victor
- 04-04-23
I highly recommended this book
So much insight. Wish I could of listen to this book sooner. I recommend it for any age group of child and parent in need of some insight..
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- Raquel H.
- 07-20-21
Reconnect
This gave me so many insights on how to connect with my kids. It has inspired me to start my own "village".
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- Josephine's Favorite Things
- 03-08-22
A must read for parents
If there's such a thing as a "how to" guide to raising kids and avoiding a lot of the accepted challenges that come with it, this is it!
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- KIM
- 12-10-21
For every parent…. For everyone adult!!!
This is the single best parenting book out there. Every adult, not only parents, should be required to read this. It would solve so many of our issues today. Thank you for writing such an insightful book! It gives me such encouragement to be what my kids need me to be and give them what they truly need.
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