The Emotional Lives of Teenagers
Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents
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Narrated by:
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Lisa Damour Ph.D.
About this listen
An urgently needed guide to help parents understand their teenagers’ intense and often fraught emotional lives—and how to support them through this critical developmental stage—from the New York Times bestselling author of Untangled and Under Pressure
In teenagers, powerful emotions come with the territory. And with so many of today’s teens contending with academic pressure, social media stress, worries about the future, and concerns about their own mental health, it’s easy for them—and their parents—to feel anxious and overwhelmed. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
Parents who listen to this book will learn:
• what to expect in the normal course of adolescent emotional development and when it’s time to worry
• why teens (and adults) need to understand that mental health isn’t about “feeling good” but about having feelings that fit the moment, even if those feelings are unwanted or painful
• strategies for supporting teens who feel at the mercy of their emotions so they can become psychologically aware and skilled at managing their feelings
• how to approach common challenges that come with adolescence, such as friction at home, spiking anxiety, risky behavior, navigating friendships and romances, the pull of social media, and many more
• the best ways to stay connected to their teens and how to provide the kind of relationship that adolescents need and want
With clear, research-informed explanations alongside illuminating, real-life examples, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers gives parents the concrete, practical information they need to steady their teens through the bumpy yet transformational journey into adulthood.
*Includes a downloadable PDF of recommended resources from the book
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2023 Lisa Damour (P)2023 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“The Emotional Lives of Teenagers does a very simple and very difficult thing. It helps me feel ready for the joy, and the storm, to come.” —Slate
“Filled with relatable situations, examples, and suggestions for constructive conversations, this book will be welcomed by parents and anyone who works with adolescents. Parents looking for timely advice and reassurance will find it here in clear layman’s language.” —Booklist
“A calm, wise, and empathetic guide to a difficult period for both adolescents and parents.” —Kirkus Reviews
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- By Trudy Owens on 01-01-19
By: Deborah Reber
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The Self-Driven Child
- The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control over Their Lives
- By: William Stixrud PhD, Ned Johnson
- Narrated by: Kaleo Griffith
- Length: 11 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Many of us know we're putting too much pressure on our kids - and on ourselves - but how do we get off this crazy train? We want our children to succeed, to be their best, and to do their best, but what if they are not on board? A few years ago, Ned Johnson and Bill Stixrud started noticing the same problem from different angles: even high-performing kids were coming to them acutely stressed and lacking any real motivation. Many complained that they had no real control over their lives.
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Practical, wise, and well researched
- By Andrew on 07-12-18
By: William Stixrud PhD, and others
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The Available Parent
- Expert Advice for Raising Successful and Resilient Teens and Tweens
- By: John Duffy
- Narrated by: David Colacci
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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We have a tendency today to over-parent, micromanage, and underappreciate our adolescents. Dr. John Duffy's The Available Parent is a revolutionary approach to taking care of teens and tweens. The available parent of a teenager is open to discussion, offering advice and solutions but not insisting on them. He allows his child to make some mistakes, setting limits, primarily where health and safety are concerned. He never lectures - he is available but not controlling. He is neither cruel nor dismissive, ever....
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Parenting teens can be much less stressful!
- By Kathi on 06-12-14
By: John Duffy
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Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety
- Raising Happy, Healthy Humans Ages 8 to 24
- By: Dr. John Duffy
- Narrated by: Anne Cross
- Length: 7 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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No parent experienced their teen years the way that children do today. This guide provides strategies and tips for actively learning the world of our children.
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Every parent should read this!!
- By Kitty Kitty on 10-20-19
By: Dr. John Duffy
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Ready or Not
- Preparing Our Kids to Thrive in an Uncertain and Rapidly Changing World
- By: Madeline Levine
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Ready or Not explores how today’s parenting techniques and our myopic educational system are failing to prepare children for their certain-to-be-uncertain future - and how we can reverse course to ensure their lasting adaptability, resilience, health, and happiness.
By: Madeline Levine
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Women Who Think Too Much
- How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life
- By: Susan Nolen-Hoeksema
- Narrated by: Sheryl Bernstein
- Length: 2 hrs and 58 mins
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It's not a surprise that our fast-paced, overly analytical culture is pushing people - especially women - to spend countless hours thinking about negative ideas, feelings, and experiences. Renowned psychologist Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema calls this "overthinking". Her groundbreaking research shows that an increasing number of women - more than half of those in her extensive study - are doing it too much and too often, hindering their ability to lead a satisfying life.
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Generic tools for overcoming overthinking
- By letlet on 01-09-19
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Adult Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
- Quiet the Critical Voice in Your Head, Heal Self-Doubt, and Live the Life You Deserve
- By: Stephanie M. Kriesberg PsyD, Wendy T. Behary LCSW - foreword
- Narrated by: Linda Jones
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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If you were raised by a narcissistic mother and are struggling with the lingering effects of a toxic upbringing, this is the road map you need to heal the past and thrive in the present and future.
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I really needed this!
- By Rachael E on 01-28-23
By: Stephanie M. Kriesberg PsyD, and others
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Raising Girls
- By: Steve Biddulph
- Narrated by: Damien Warren-Smith
- Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Steve Biddulph's Raising Boys was a global phenomenon. The first book in a generation to look at boys' specific needs, parents loved its clarity and warm insights into their sons' inner world. But today, things have changed. It's girls that are in trouble. There has been a sudden and universal deterioration in girls' mental health, starting in primary school and devastating the teen years. Steve Biddulph's Raising Girls is both a guidebook and a call to arms for parents.
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Really helpful and Grounded
- By KFluke on 01-26-23
By: Steve Biddulph
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Strong Mothers, Strong Sons
- Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men
- By: Meg Meeker
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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From the moment a mother holds her newborn son, his eyes tell her that she is his world. But often, as he grows up, the boy who needs her simultaneously pushes her away. Calling upon thirty years of experience as a pediatrician, Meg Meeker, MD, a highly sought-after national speaker, assistant professor of clinical medicine, and mother of four, shares the secrets that every mother needs to know in order to strengthen-or rebuild-her relationship with her son.
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Update of wording in your book is required
- By danamc on 08-27-18
By: Meg Meeker
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Simplicity Parenting
- Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids
- By: Kim John Payne, Lisa M. Ross
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey
- Length: 9 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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From internationally renowned family consultant Kim John Payne comes an eloquent guide that seeks to help parents reclaim for their children the space and freedom that all kids need for their individuality to flourish.
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A worthwhile listen for new parents
- By Kathy K on 07-30-12
By: Kim John Payne, and others
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Autism in Heels
- The Untold Story of a Female Life on the Spectrum
- By: Jennifer Cook O'Toole
- Narrated by: Jennifer O'Toole
- Length: 12 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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This intimate memoir reveals the woman inside one of autism’s most prominent figures, Jennifer O'Toole. At the age of 35, Jennifer was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, and for the first time in her life, things made sense. Now, she exposes the constant struggle between carefully crafted persona and authentic existence, editing the autism script with wit, candor, passion, and power. Her journey is one of reverse-self-discovery not only as an Aspie but - more importantly - as a thoroughly modern woman.
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Somewhat relatable but not really.
- By M Bond on 02-26-23
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The Gentle Sleep Book
- For Calm Babies, Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers
- By: Sarah Ockwell-Smith
- Narrated by: Katy Sobey
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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The Gentle Sleep Book offers gentle, no-tears sleep solutions for exhausted parents of newborns to five-year-olds. A large percentage of parents find their young children's sleep - or lack of - challenging. This new audiobook from Sarah Ockwell-Smith, founder of BabyCalm, will be an indispensable guide for parents, whatever challenges they are facing with their child's sleep - from the day they bring their newborn home until their child is settled in at school.
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It's fine but not much about 2-4 years
- By Patrick on 02-12-18
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Overcoming Oppositional Defiant Disorder
- A Two-Part Treatment Plan to Help Parents and Kids Work Together
- By: Gina Atencio-MacLean PsyD
- Narrated by: Tiffany Morgan
- Length: 4 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Parenting a child with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is difficult, stressful, and often overwhelming. Overcoming Oppositional Defiant Disorder is the first child psychology book that sets you up for success by recognizing that taking care of your child starts with taking care of yourself.
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Need more specifics
- By Lee on 05-14-24
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Putting Children First
- Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce
- By: JoAnne Pedro-Carroll
- Narrated by: Karen Saltus
- Length: 11 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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As Dr. JoAnne Pedro-Carroll explains with clarity and compassion in this powerful book, parents can positively alter the immediate and long-term effects of divorce on their children. The key is proven, emotionally intelligent parenting strategies that promote children's emotional health, resilience, and ability to lead satisfying lives. Over the past three decades, Pedro-Carroll has worked with families in transition, conducted research, and developed and directed award- winning, court-endorsed programs that have helped thousands of families navigate divorce and its aftermath.
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PERFECT RESOURCE FOR SEPARATED/DIVORCED
- By Ly on 10-13-16
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I was “forced” to read this book!
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Preachy and Uninformative
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Needed an Editor
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Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen
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The 14 essential conversations to have with your tween and early teenager to prepare them for the emotional, physical, and social challenges ahead, including scripts and advice to keep the communication going and stay connected during this critical developmental window.
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The New York Times best-selling author of Untangled presents an urgently needed guide to the alarming increase in anxiety and stress experienced by girls from elementary school through college.
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I was “forced” to read this book!
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Almost everything about puberty has changed since today's adults went through it. Bewildered adults have begged for reliable and relatable information about the modern adolescent experience. This Is So Awkward answers their call. Written by a pediatrician and a puberty educator—together the hosts of a lively and popular podcast on puberty, and moms to six teens between them—this is the handbook everyone has been searching for. Eye-opening and reassuring, This Is So Awkward will help adults understand the turbulent pubescent decade and become confident guides for today’s kids.
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Needed an Editor
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Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen
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Most of us know that sugar can wreak havoc on adult bodies, but few realize how uniquely harmful it is to the growing livers, hearts, and brains of children. And the damage can begin early in life. In his research on the effects of sugar on kids' present and future health, USC Professor of Pediatrics and Program Director for Diabetes and Obesity at Children's Hospital Los Angeles Michael Goran has found that too much sugar doesn't just cause childhood obesity, it can cause health issues in kids who are not overweight, too.
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So informative!
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Might be OK with different narrators
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As pediatrician and mother of two teenagers Cara Natterson explains, puberty starts in boys long before any visible signs appear, and that causes confusion about their changing temperaments for boys and parents alike. Often, they also grow quieter as they grow taller, which leads to less parent-child communication. But, as Natterson warns in Decoding Boys, we respect their increasing "need" for privacy, monosyllabic conversations, and alone time at their peril.
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wanted to give 5 but last chapter is so biased
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Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety
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Every parent should read this!!
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What if the goal of raising a Christian girl was about more than keeping her virginity intact? What if it was about raising a strong, independent young woman who knows who she is, uses her voice, and confidently steps into the life God has for her? From the authors of The Great Sex Rescue comes this evidence-based book grounded on surveys of over 28,000 women to offer moms a fresh, freeing, and biblically grounded message of sexuality and self-worth for their daughters that is less about the don'ts and more about the dos.
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If you are a parent or ministry leader of women or young girls, I plead with you to read this book
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New York Times best-selling author Jon Acuff has drawn millions of online fans who love his refreshing mix of humor, honesty, and wisdom about the world of work. Now he offers his most important audiobook yet, a guide to making big career changes - by choice or necessity - and escaping the horrible feeling of being trapped in the wrong job.
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In Indistractable, Eyal reveals the hidden psychology driving us to distraction. He describes why solving the problem is not as simple as swearing off our devices: Abstinence is impractical and often makes us want more. Eyal lays bare the secret of finally doing what you say you will do with a four-step, research-backed model. Indistractable reveals the key to getting the best out of technology, without letting it get the best of us.
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Nothing new...
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The Language of Emotions (Revised and Updated)
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Every emotion—even shame, anger, and anxiety—brings us vital information and wisdom. “Too often, we either repress our feelings or let them run wild,” says researcher and educator Karla McLaren. “What many of us were never taught are the fundamental skills for honoring and understanding our profound, powerful emotions.” In this new edition of The Language of Emotions, McLaren takes us much deeper than naming or managing our feelings—she teaches us to listen to the messages within each emotion, reflect on their questions, and incorporate their wisdom into our lives.
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An important step to understand life by understanding emotions
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Daily Rituals: Women at Work
- By: Mason Currey
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- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
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More of Mason Currey's irresistible Daily Rituals, this time exploring the daily obstacles and rituals of women who are artists - painters, composers, sculptors, scientists, filmmakers, and performers. We see how these brilliant minds get to work, the choices they have to make: rebuffing convention, stealing (or secreting away) time from the pull of husbands, wives, children, and obligations in order to create their creations.
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Another great book on the routines of creatives!
- By Blake Knight on 03-12-19
By: Mason Currey
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The Unspeakable Mind
- Stories of Trauma and Healing from the Frontlines of PTSD Science
- By: Shaili Jain MD
- Narrated by: Carol Jacobanis
- Length: 10 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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The Unspeakable Mind is the definitive guide for a trauma-burdened age. With profound empathy and meticulous research, Shaili Jain, MD - a practicing psychiatrist and PTSD specialist at one of America’s top VA hospitals, trauma scientist at the National Center for PTSD, and a Stanford professor - shines a long-overdue light on the PTSD epidemic affecting today’s fractured world.
By: Shaili Jain MD
What listeners say about The Emotional Lives of Teenagers
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jennifer H
- 03-15-23
Invaluable Resource for Parents!
I just finished listening to The Emotional Lives of Teenagers, and I am just blown away by how much important information Dr. Damour was able to squeeze into this book, which was wonderfully enjoyable to listen to. There was a perfect mix of research and practical tips with lots of interesting anecdotes sprinkled in. I especially liked Dr. Damours suggestions of actual things you could say to your child in a variety of challenging situations. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is a parent or who works with adolescents!
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- A Sardin
- 06-08-23
Short and sweet. Lots of examples. I loved it.
Great book. I loved the way is written. Very practical advice. Do yourself a favor and buy it!
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- Pourmans
- 01-23-24
Stay the course!
This is my most favorite book by Lisa Damour. Disclaimer: I currently have 2 teenage boys. There is a bounty of helpful & applicable information. Key takeaways for me: LISTEN, sympathize, be nearby “in the background,” and just because they don’t want to be seen with you or like your outfit does not mean they do not love you!
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- JC
- 02-24-23
She does it again
Lisa Damour is such a brilliant and comforting voice of reason during the confusing and very tough stage of raising teenagers. I only wish I could put my daughter in her office.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jessi
- 08-27-23
This should be a required parental reading
Provides all the insight needed to get through the teenage years with love and connection. The voice is easy to listen to and makes it enjoyable. Wish I had this for my older kids.
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- Anonymous User
- 07-09-24
Super helpful
This book nails the interactions between parents and teens, and provides not only the reasons for the reactions, which are quite reasonable and easy to understand. As a teacher of teens and a mom of two teens, I didn't know what I was doing wrong until this book!
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- Leia B.
- 08-02-24
Much needed for mom of two teens!
Highly recommend this book for parents of teens. educators, counselors, and anyone working with or supporting adolescent humans!
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- Amy
- 02-21-23
Only at introduction and…
THIS RIGHT HERE! Only at introduction and have realize so many things I need to work on and understand THIS right here is so far from what I can tell anyway going to help me help my daughter graduate. She only had 4 months left and has been wanting to stay home weekly from school due to various issues. I try to be supportive and not wanting to minimize her feelings and didn’t know when I was being insensitive or needed to push more. I definitely didn’t want to harm her mental health. I will be listening to see if I can get my answer that I have asked therapists and her psych dr of “ How do I push her without it coming across as insensitive or cold, or how do I know when I have pushed enough and lay off? I feel like it’s hindering her further to allow her to come home when she feels a certain way” I will update my review as I listen more as to if this is what I’ve been searching for the last 3 years! Thank you to the author for hitting it so far!
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- Alizé
- 03-01-23
She has done it again!
Amazing resource for parents of teenagers and one you could go back to time and time again for reference and counsel. Love Dr Lisa and her practical advice.
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- Kathy Brenner
- 04-09-23
Required reading for anyone with kids under 18
Loved it and told all my friends with kids that it was a must read.
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