How to Forget
A Daughter's Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Kate Mulgrew
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By:
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Kate Mulgrew
About this listen
In this profoundly honest and examined memoir about returning to Iowa to care for her ailing parents, the star of Orange Is the New Black and best-selling author of Born with Teeth takes us on an unexpected journey of loss, betrayal, and the transcendent nature of a daughter’s love for her parents.
They say you can’t go home again. But when her father is diagnosed with aggressive lung cancer and her mother with atypical Alzheimer’s, New York-based actress Kate Mulgrew returns to her hometown in Iowa to spend time with her parents and care for them in the time they have left.
The months Kate spends with her parents in Dubuque - by turns turbulent, tragic, and joyful - lead her to reflect on each of their lives and how they shaped her own. Those ruminations are transformed when, in the wake of their deaths, Kate uncovers long-kept secrets that challenge her understanding of the unconventional Irish Catholic household in which she was raised.
Breathtaking and powerful, laced with the author’s irreverent wit, How to Forget is a considered portrait of a mother and a father, an emotionally powerful memoir that demonstrates how love fuses children and parents, and an honest examination of family, memory, and indelible loss.
©2019 Kate Mulgrew (P)2019 HarperAudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Here, gathered in one volume, are the stories that made Clarice a Brazilian legend. Originally a cloth edition of 86 stories, now we have 89 in all, covering her whole amazing career, from her teenage years to her deathbed. In these pages, we meet teenagers becoming aware of their sexual and artistic powers, humdrum housewives whose lives are shattered by unexpected epiphanies, old people who don't know what to do with themselves - and in their stories, Clarice takes us through their lives - and hers - and ours.
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Wonderful Collection
- By XX on 04-25-20
By: Clarice Lispector, and others
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The Seven or Eight Deaths of Stella Fortuna
- A Novel
- By: Juliet Grames
- Narrated by: Lisa Flanagan
- Length: 16 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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For Stella Fortuna, death has always been a part of life. Stella’s childhood is full of strange, life-threatening incidents - moments where ordinary situations like cooking eggplant or feeding the pigs inexplicably take lethal turns. Even Stella’s own mother is convinced that her daughter is cursed or haunted. When the Fortunas emigrate to America on the cusp of World War II, Stella and her sister, Tina, must come of age side by side in a hostile new world with strict expectations for each of them.
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Misogyny at its worst
- By brenda on 01-15-20
By: Juliet Grames
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The Killer's Cousin
- By: Nancy Werlin
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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After 17-year-old David is forced to stand trial for his girlfriend's death, he is sent to live with his aunt and uncle and their young daughter, Lily, to avoid the media frenzy. But all is not well at his relatives' house. His aunt and uncle are not speaking to each other, and Lily seems dead set on making David's life a torment. And then there's the issue of their older daughter, Kathy, who died under mysterious circumstances a number of years back.
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Good story, great narrator!
- By Amazon Customer on 03-17-15
By: Nancy Werlin
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The Beautiful and Damned
- By: F. Scott Fitzgerald
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 13 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Published in 1922, Fitzgerald's second novel chronicles the relationship of Anthony Patch, Harvard-educated, aspiring aesthete, and his beautiful wife, Gloria, as they await to inherit his grandfather's fortune. A devastating satire of the nouveaux rich and New York's nightlife, of reckless ambition and squandered talent, it is also a shattering portrait of a marriage fueled by alcohol and wasted by wealth. The Beautiful and Damned, Fitzgerald wrote to Zelda in 1930, "was all true."
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i loved it
- By Emily on 01-20-05
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Incredible! So much more than a memoir
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The sharp and surprising true story of a woman who finally sets out to understand her past, and the mother she had one day hoped to forget. Full of unexpected twists and unbelievable revelations, American Daughter is an immersive memoir that will have you on the edge of your seat to the very last minute.
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Amazing memoir
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By: Stephanie Thornton Plymale, and others
What listeners say about How to Forget
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Terry L Smith
- 05-29-20
Fascinating and Detailed Journey
Kate Mulgrew is a natural story teller. Her narrative captivates with powerful insight and courage. This biography does not disappoint.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Janice (Jan) Hartmann
- 07-09-19
A Touching Remembrance
Kate eloquently shares an extraordinary remembrance of the joy and heartbreaking struggles caring for a parent with Alzheimer's.
As my sister and I share the long unceasing similar journey - I found Kate's memories on point - treasured reassuring strength of our days/years to follow.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Landsdowne
- 07-09-19
An Uncommon Telling of a Common Story
First, let me say that I also grew up in Dubuque, IA and had the same sort of experience in the last five years. So much the same that Ms. Mulgrew's mom's doctor was also my mom's doctor. I could easily picture many of the places and people. It was great that Kate was the person reading the book, because she captures the accent of our hometown perfectly.
I would love to write a note to Kate Mulgrew about this book, but I decided to just write a review instead. So many of us are doing our best to provide our parents with care as they age and need more and more help. This is the story of families these days. The young people moved far away when it was time for a career and then worked to figure out how to be there when their parents needed them at home. It doesn't matter how big the family, we all feel the draw to help and the guilt when we are far away.
I will probably read this book again for the pictures it creates in my mind and for the feeling of being in Dubuque with both my mom and dad when they passed. Thank you for sharing your journey Ms. Mulgrew. I enjoyed reading it very much.
Jeanne
P.S. I went to St. Anthony's with your niece Mary Beth. :-) That is such a Dubuque thing to end with!
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- Nick
- 12-29-19
I Can’t Even
First of all, I would listen to Kate Mulgrew narrate IKEA assembly instructions, so of course 5 stars here. I have to listen to books on at least 1.25x speed, and her voice does not do the scary squeaky thing that most do.
Secondly, the story is phenomenal. It sometimes wanders into the territory of “too personal,” but I am nosy so there’s that. There are times throughout the book where you want more information and you just never get it, so that’s frustrating. But it’s just so freaking GOOD. At no point did I want the story to just end, and at almost 13 hours, that’s impressive.
Overall an amazing read.
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- Wonder
- 10-11-19
Riveting and heartbreaking.
Kate Mulgrew's writing carries in it compassion, and wonderful representations to put you right over her shoulder through this incredibly hard journey. I enjoy the gravitas with which she relays the feelings, thoughts and stories but still manages to include the subtleties in every interaction. Thank you for sharing this story.
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- caitlin whiteside
- 09-22-19
a Frank and beautiful story for all
This honest account of love, devotion, the tortures if Alzheimer and the curious nature of this beautiful family is breathtaking. Katherine Mulgrew pulls no pinches, never wavers from a sense of humble confidence and displays a gravitas unknown to past authors. Her words are pure poetry and cut deep reminding me of my own family struggles, my fierceness and bringing back to where I am at home. Somehow, through her journey we are all her and we are all her mother. I cannot say enough about this masterpiece. well done to all. read or listen and let yourself be transformed.
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- Michael Strachan
- 02-12-23
Brilliantly simple and complex
Kate captured her family beautifully, the good and the bad. By the end of the story it felt as though her family were longtime family friends. The book also triggered waves of memories from my youth. Of course, excellent narration from an extremely talented person. Thank you!
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- Anonymous User
- 03-26-23
Powerful and beautiful
Absolutely incredible especially as an immediate follow up to Born With Teeth. The same richness and poetry that made the events unfold like a crafted narrative despite the autobiographical reality. Absolutely compelling and as insightful I would think for those familiar with loss and those not.
Both of Kate Mulgrew’s memoirs are a testament to how powerful the genre can be now that we can experience it in the author’s actual voice.
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- wd
- 06-01-19
A beautiful, touching story
I listen to a lot of books and am rarely moved to write a review. This book is truly touching and beautiful.
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8 people found this helpful
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- Cynthia Suydam
- 07-30-19
Extraordinary and Relatable!
This was an extraordinary Story!! So very relatable!! Thank you Kate for sharing your family with us!!
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1 person found this helpful