Everything All at Once
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Allyson Ryan
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Stephanie Catudal
About this listen
New York Times Bestseller
An intimate and evocative memoir one woman’s experience with the universality of grief and the redemptive power of love as she endures her husband’s 84-day battle with lung cancer.
When Steph Catudal met her husband Rivs, she thought that the love, stability, and warmth she shared with her husband had finally dispelled her pent-up anger and grief over the loss of her father and her faith. But when Rivs became ill and was put into coma at the height of the pandemic, the painful memories of her childhood—watching her father die of cancer—came flooding back.
Written with lush lyricism, Steph’s account of how this crisis forced her to confront her past is raw, illuminating, and heartbreaking: her father’s death that wrecked her faith in God and jumpstarted a decade of rebellion, including running away from home and living out of a van at age 16, struggling with alcoholism, and delving into drugs to ease her pain. Sitting by Rivs's bedside, she grappled with the memories of the past and the uncertainties of the future while reckoning with the unknowns of her husband’s illness. Rivs would endure a grueling 84 days in a medically induced coma, eventually undergoing chemo for a similar illness that stole her father.
Like Cheryl Strayed’s Wild, and Michelle Zauner’s Crying in H Mart, Everything All At Once is a heart-wrenching and ultimately uplifting reflection on resilience and a powerful reminder that we can find healing no matter how broken we are.
©2023 Stephanie Catudal (P)2023 HarperCollins PublishersListeners also enjoyed...
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A mesmerizing and courageous memoir: the story of two sisters uncovering the depth of their love through the life-and-death experience of a bone marrow transplant. Throughout her life Elizabeth Lesser has sought understanding about what it means to be true to yourself and, at the same time, truly connected to the ones you love. But when her sister, Maggie, needs a bone marrow transplant to save her life, and Lesser learns that she is the perfect match, she faces a far more immediate and complex question about what it really means to love.
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“ Love came first “
- By marie on 03-26-18
By: Elizabeth Lesser
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Encountering Heaven and the Afterlife
- True Stories from People Who Have Glimpsed the World Beyond
- By: James L. Garlow, Keith Wall
- Narrated by: James L. Garlow
- Length: 8 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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What happens when we die? What is heaven really like? When we arrive, will we know people? What role do angels play in our lives? Can the amazing experiences of everyday people reveal insights into life “on the other side”? Trusted pastor Jim Garlow and experienced journalist Keith Wall believe they can.
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Don't waste your time
- By Mary on 08-21-10
By: James L. Garlow, and others
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More Beautiful Than Before
- How Suffering Transforms Us
- By: Steve Leder
- Narrated by: Steve Leder
- Length: 4 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Every one of us sooner or later walks through hell. The hell of being hurt, the hell of hurting another. The hell of cancer, the hell of a reluctant, thunking shovel full of earth upon the casket of someone we deeply loved, the hell of betrayal, the hell of betraying, the hell of divorce, the hell of a kid in trouble...the hell of knowing that this year, like any year, may be our last. We all walk through hell. The point is not to come out empty-handed.... There is real and profound power in the suffering we endure if we transform that suffering into a more authentic, meaningful life.
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Learning from Pain
- By Dave on 02-20-19
By: Steve Leder
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Gift of the Red Bird
- The Story of a Divine Encounter
- By: Paula D'Arcy
- Narrated by: Paula D'Arcy
- Length: 3 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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When Paula D'Arcy lost her husband and baby in a car crash, she began an inner search for a faith that was stronger than fear. In Gift of the Red Bird she shares her remarkable spiritual adventure. Grief, she shows us, is an ongoing, never-completed process, one that becomes woven into the fabric of the grieving person's spiritual life.
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Relatable story
- By Maryjane Hadaway on 07-15-19
By: Paula D'Arcy
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Native Country of the Heart
- A Memoir
- By: Cherríe Moraga
- Narrated by: Cherríe Moraga
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Native Country of the Heart is the writer and activist Cherrie Moraga's love letter to her "unlettered" mother. It begins with her mother, Elvira Isabel Moraga, who as a child, along with her siblings, was hired out by her own father to pick cotton in California's Imperial Valley. The lives of Cherrie and her mother, and of their people, are woven together in a story of critical reflection and deep personal revelation as Moraga charts her own coming to consciousness alongside the heartbreaking story of her mother's decline.
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a must read for all chicanx
- By Rachel Barnett on 04-28-19
By: Cherríe Moraga
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The Invitation
- By: Oriah Mountain Dreamer
- Narrated by: Oriah Mountain Dreamer
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Speaking from the heart, Oriah Mountain Dreamer invites you to confront the varieties of human experience, from desire and commitment to sorrow and betrayal, and challenges you to open repeatedly to love and life. Unique, practical, and often surprising, The Invitation is an invaluable guide to living the ecstasy of everyday life, learning to recognize true beauty in yourself and the world, and finding the sustenance your spirit longs for.
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Very Inspiring
- By Barry Boecher on 01-22-15
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It's a God Thing
- When Miracles Happen to Everyday People
- By: Don Jacobson
- Narrated by: Matt Baugher, Brooke Bryant, Nan Gurley, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Series creators Don Jacobson and K-LOVE Radio have joined together to produce one of the most remarkable collections of modern-day miracles ever compiled. From angel appearances in hospital rooms to a mother saved from a would-be assailant in Hyde Park, from a young autistic girl becoming a beautiful ballerina overnight to a young backpacker who walked away from a terrorist attack, It’s a God Thing presents some of the most amazing stories of God’s hand on our lives.
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What an absolute blessing
- By Anthea on 11-05-15
By: Don Jacobson
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Unshattered
- Choosing a Beautiful Life After Unspeakable Tragedy
- By: Carol J. Decker, Stacey L. Nash
- Narrated by: Stacey L. Nash
- Length: 5 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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On June 10, 2008, Carol Decker walked through the hospital doors a healthy woman with flu-like symptoms and early labor contractions. Three months later, she returned home a blind triple-amputee struggling to bond with a daughter she would never see. Unshattered recounts Carol's fight for survival against sepsis and its life-shattering complications. From excruciating skin grafts to learning how to function in daily life without lower legs, a left hand, and her sight, Carol takes us on a personal and raw, yet inspiring journey.
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inspiring !
- By Cindy Tortorici on 12-03-18
By: Carol J. Decker, and others
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The 20-Month Legend
- My Baby Boy's Fight with Cancer
- By: Steve Tate
- Narrated by: Steve Tate
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As if juggling a life with half-a-dozen kids, including triplets, isn’t enough, Steve Tate receives the life-altering news that one of his triplets, Hayes, has been diagnosed with brain cancer. The once-star collegiate football player finds himself fighting for his son’s life. This memoir takes you through the various challenges he faced raising a family of six kids and balancing a career, all while his son battled the odds. Both Steve and his high-school sweetheart, Savanna, found hope and happiness through the example of their 20-month-old son Hayes.
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Very touching story
- By Nicole on 03-16-23
By: Steve Tate
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Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them)
- A Practical Perspective on Death and Dying
- By: Sallie Tisdale
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
You get ready to die the way you get ready for a trip. Start by realizing you don't know the way. Listen to a few travel guides. Study the language, look at maps, gather equipment. Let yourself imagine what it will be like. Pack your bags. This book is one of those travel guides - a guide to preparing for your own death and the deaths of people close to you. The fact of death is hard to believe. Sallie Tisdale explores our fears and all the ways death and talking about death make us uncomfortable - but she also explores its intimacies and joys.
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I thought I had more time...
- By Alyssa on 09-09-19
By: Sallie Tisdale
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Lead Me
- Finding Courage to Fight for Your Marriage, Children, and Faith
- By: Matt Hammitt, Bart Millard - Foreword
- Narrated by: Matt Hammitt
- Length: 5 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
In Lead Me, Matt identifies the tension many men experience when trying to balance work and home life. With bracing honesty, vulnerable storytelling, and practical application, Matt challenges you to be faithful both to God's vocational call and to His call to lead your family well. Discover the extraordinary joy of actively and intentionally pursuing your wife and children. Matt reminds us that it's messy. It's difficult. And it's the most rewarding thing you can do, beyond following Christ.
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Raw reality
- By Hickupnorth on 10-27-24
By: Matt Hammitt, and others
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Laughing Through the Ugly Cry
- ...and Finding Unstoppable Joy
- By: Dawn Barton
- Narrated by: Dawn Barton
- Length: 3 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
In this collection of honest and sometimes raw stories, Dawn throws a loving, untoned arm around listeners as she brings them along on her journey through the loss of a child, divorce, cancer, rape, the death of her only sibling, her husband's substance abuse, and finding her way back to Jesus in the middle of it all. Dawn shares her personal story to show listeners how to find happiness and purpose even in the darkest of days. A beautiful gift book, Laughing Through the Ugly Cry is a great reminder to your girlfriends that you are with them every step of the way.
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A beautiful story of Hope!
- By Cynthia K. Hutman on 07-01-24
By: Dawn Barton
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I'm Telling the Truth, but I'm Lying
- Essays
- By: Bassey Ikpi
- Narrated by: Bassey Ikpi
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
In I’m Telling the Truth, but I’m Lying, Bassey Ikpi explores her life - as a Nigerian-American immigrant, a black woman, a slam poet, a mother, a daughter, an artist - through the lens of her mental health and diagnosis of bipolar II and anxiety. Her remarkable memoir in essays implodes our preconceptions of the mind and normalcy as Bassey bares her own truths and lies for us all to behold with radical honesty and brutal intimacy.
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Full, poignant, purposeful
- By Bree on 08-21-19
By: Bassey Ikpi
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The Color of Rain
- How Two Families Found Faith, Hope, & Love in the Midst of Tragedy
- By: Michael Spehn
- Narrated by: Michael Spehn
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
When unexpected grief brings two families together, how do they start their journey to healing? Join Michael and Gina Spehn--bestselling authors and founders of the New Day Foundation--as they tell their story of resilience, remembrance, and reliance on their shared faith.
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Wow
- By Katrina on 04-24-15
By: Michael Spehn
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It was just okay
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Jim Burgen was a preacher’s kid who grew up loving church, until it felt like one day, he realized he was an adult who didn’t. He’d burned out and was full of questions. An encounter with C.S. Lewis’ Voyage of the Dawn Treader introduced him to Eustace, a little boy whose greed and hurt turned him into a dragon. He couldn’t un-dragon himself, no matter how hard he tried. Only one person could: the good lion, Aslan. That day, Burgen’s life changed forever. Burgen takes us on a journey through the remarkable process of Jesus saving him from himself.
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The human brain is perhaps the most powerful and mysterious arrangement of matter in the known universe. New discoveries that unravel this mystery and let us tap into this power offer almost limitless potential - the ability to reshape ourselves and our thought processes, to improve our health and extend our lives, and to enhance and augment the ways we interact with the world around us. In The NeuroGeneration, award-winning inventor Tan Le explores exciting advancements in brain science and neurotechnology that are revolutionizing the way we think, work, and heal.
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Before his success in public relations, his loving marriage and his storied writing career, Wade Rouse was simply Ted Rouse's son. A queer kid in a conservative Ozarks community, Wade struggled at a young age to garner his father's approval and find his voice. For his part, Ted was a hard-lined engineer, offering little emotional support or encouragement. But Wade and Ted had one thing in common: an undying love of the St. Louis Cardinals.
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MaryRuth’s brand embodies her core mission—to help others feel and perform their best. Liquids Till Lunch encapsulates her philosophy, and is a roadmap anyone can follow to substantially improve their health, happiness, and psychological well-being. From the importance of portion control to positivity, from fasting to stressing less, each chapter is packed with life-changing anecdotes from her clients, and scientifically backed research.
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Maybe for a select audience- Type A
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This Will Be Funny Later
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Growing up, Jenny Pentland’s life was a literal sitcom. Many of the storylines for her mother’s smash hit series, Roseanne, were drawn from Pentland’s early family life in working-class Denver. But that was only the beginning of the drama. Roseanne Barr’s success as a comedian catapulted the family from the Rockies to star-studded Hollywood—with its toxic culture of money, celebrity, and prying tabloids that was destabilizing for a child in grade school.
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Nepotism baby’s self pity party
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Grace and Dan Arden are in their forties and have been on the IVF treadmill since the day they got married. Six attempts have yielded no results, and with each failure a little piece of their hope dies. Priya Laghari and her husband Nick Archer are being treated at the same fertility clinic, and while they don't face the same time pressure as the Ardens, the younger couple have their own problems. On the same day that Priya is booked for her next IVF cycle, Grace goes in for her final, last-chance embryo transfer. Two weeks later, both women get their results.
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September Letters
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Overall
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Performance
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When actress and activist Brittany Snow was a teenager, she read an article about another woman’s hardship that made her feel seen and less alone. She carried that story in her back pocket for a long time. This experience was a gift that Brittany then paid forward when she revealed her own experience in a published article. Brittany’s story resonated with a young reader, who kept that story in her back pocket, where it was when the two crossed paths serendipitously.
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well produced audio, unique content
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Your Turn
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Your Turn is the career coach that today’s working women need to own their career ambition + motherhood path. There are more than 15 million employed women with children under the age of 18 in the United States who find themselves smack in the “Messy Middle”, where job opportunity and family responsibilities collide and decisions shift into high gear. And there are also millions of women on the sidelines, many there due to impossible corporate structures, who are looking to get back in.
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very one sided in the women it talks about
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The Hot Hand
- The Mystery and Science of Streaks
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For decades, statisticians, social scientists, psychologists, and economists (among them Nobel Prize winners) have spent massive amounts of precious time thinking about whether streaks actually exist. After all, a substantial number of decisions that we make in our everyday lives are quietly rooted in this one question: If something happened before, will it happen again? Is there such a thing as being in the zone? Can someone have a "hot hand"? Or is it simply a case of seeing patterns in randomness? Or, if streaks are possible, where can they be found?
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Well written, but not concise
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Where the Children Take Us
- How One Family Achieved the Unimaginable
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Overall
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Performance
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Awaiting the return of her husband and young son from a road trip, Obiajulu Ejiofor receives shattering news. There’s been a fatal car crash, and one of them is dead. In Where the Children Take Us, Obiajulu’s daughter, Zain E. Asher, tells the story of her mother’s harrowing fight to raise four children as a widowed immigrant in South London. There is tragedy in this tale, but it is not a tragedy. Drawing on tough-love parenting strategies, Obiajulu teaches her sons and daughters to overcome the daily pressures of poverty, crime and prejudice—and much more.
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Best book I’ve ever read
- By CZ on 09-30-22
By: Zain E. Asher
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The Distant Dead
- A Novel
- By: Heather Young
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky, Charlie Thurston, Jim Meskimen, and others
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A body burns in the high desert hills. A boy walks into a fire station, pale with the shock of a grisly discovery. A middle school teacher worries when her colleague is late for work. By day's end, when the body is identified as local math teacher Adam Merkel, a small Nevada town will be rocked to its core by a brutal and calculated murder. Adam Merkel left a university professorship in Reno to teach middle school in Lovelock seven months before he died.
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original
- By itinerant on 06-26-20
By: Heather Young
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Kick Up Some Dust
- Lessons on Thinking Big, Giving Back, and Doing It Yourself
- By: Bernie Marcus
- Narrated by: Fred Sanders
- Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The start of Home Depot sounds like the beginning of a bad joke: Two Jews and an Italian decide to build a new kind of hardware store... In 1978, Bernie Marcus's livelihood depended on just such a scenario. Having been fired at the age of forty-nine, he teamed up with Arthur Blank and Ken Langone on a bold new endeavor. Their first day in business was so disastrous that the next morning, Marcus's wife wouldn't let him shave because she didn't want a razor in his hands.
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Inspirational and Charming
- By Zander on 10-09-24
By: Bernie Marcus
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Mind in the Making
- The Seven Essential Life Skills Every Child Needs
- By: Ellen Galinsky
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
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Overall
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Ellen Galinsky has spent her entire career studying early childhood development, first at Vassar College, then for 25 years at the Bank Street College of Education, and for the past 20 years as the founder and now president of the Families and Work Institute. What she has found is that there is an enormous gap between what researchers have discovered and what parents have been told about those discoveries. Mind in the Making bridges this gap, bringing the work of more than 100 scientists into a form that parents everywhere can use.
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Not too bad
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By: Ellen Galinsky
What listeners say about Everything All at Once
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Blissfully Fit Mama
- 10-09-23
Couldn’t stop listening
Stephanie wrote such an amazing book! The grief and loss that she experienced as a child to the gripping journey her husband has been on, tells you so much about who she is and the strength inside her. This book was beautifully written!
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- T. Gunn
- 11-22-23
Learning the back story
I really loved learning the backstory of Steph. I also grew up Mormon and left the church so those references to her upbringing hit home. She was able to point out the problems of a cultish religion, how she could see right through it, but also how she existed with it. I really enjoyed the narration also. Definitely a quick and easy read.
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-03-23
Incredible story of human resilience
Steph has a way with words. Her story came to life - her descriptions of emotions and what she and her family went through were unlike any other author’s book I’ve read. If you love learning about human resilience, you’ll love this book.
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- trish russell
- 06-04-23
Breathtakingly vulnerable
I've followed along the Rivs story after really enjoying his thoughtful and educational workouts on Ifit. It was heart-wrenching to read the IG posts from the family, but somehow us Ifit folk were so invested in Rivs and you patiently shared with us even though I'm sure that was painful to do. There were thousands of us sending you light and love. I'm so glad you could feel that energy support you all.
I have had this book on pre-order for months. Thank you for bearing your soul to your readers. Your parallels with your experience with your father and then your husband is truly mind blowing. I'm so sorry you and your whole family had to endure these hard times. There are many lessons throughout the book that i appreciated, the everything in between and all at once is a beautiful way to experience life and the world. Rage on!
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- Vicki
- 06-08-23
Loved it!!!
Such a moving and inspirational journey. Truly a miracle. Thank you for sharing your lives.
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- Amazon Customer
- 12-21-23
Absolutely moving
This is the most beautiful story of love and endurance. I am familiar with Rivs as an IFIT trainer but was unaware that this was happening. I am amazed at his strength and also your resolve to fight for him. I am so touched by the outpouring of love you both received that got you through that impossible time. I loved how you saw that that love was God. This book is riveting and I highly recommend it to everyone!
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- G DUBYA
- 06-06-23
True strength
I've followed this story for a while, but hearing this side of things brought a lot of perspective. It is a behind-the-scenes look at this amazing story and everything that she learned about life along the way. It's hard not to be moved and feel grateful about life after hearing this. Thanks Steph for being so open and vulnerable, showing true strength in support of Rivs. Very inspirational story and well written
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- Kerensa Rechner Eggers
- 06-07-23
Moving and amazing
This is truly one of the most moving memoirs I have listened to or read in a long time. It helps that I am a huge Rivs fan and have been following his recovery series on iFit… but I never truly grasped how close to death he was until now. It is remarkable the depth of the love and strength of Steph had through this journey and the story is told so well. I truly felt all the emotions she experienced with her words. Thank you for sharing such special stories and I hope his remission becomes a cure. I wish nothing but the best to the family. Highly recommended read.
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- KRag
- 06-11-23
Definitely worth a listen!
This book is very heavy but so beautifully written. Thanks for sharing your story, Steph.
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- kenneth guarniere jr
- 07-13-23
WOW
I followed along this journey in real time on instagram from when Rivs posted his last videos until now. Steph’s words are absolutely poetic and reading/listening to this book brings a whole new perspective to the whole thing. I am in constant awe of Rivs determination and grit and accomplishments. WOW! and Steph and her kids…. resilient and brave.
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