Idiots
Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes
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Narrated by:
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Laura Clery
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By:
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Laura Clery
About this listen
A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.
TRIGGER WARNING: TORN EVERYTHING!
In her first book, Idiot, bestselling author Laura Clery gave us mind-blowingly personal life stories about addiction, toxic relationships, and recovery—establishing herself as the preeminent voice of infinite conviction meets zero impulse control. Here she is two kids later asking, “How did we get here?” Sex. Sex is how we got here.
Laura’s life has changed a great deal since she wrote Idiot, but her hilarious candor has only increased with motherhood—plus she tells some of the stories she was too scared to tell in her first book (which is really saying something). “Full of wit” (Publishers Weekly) and charm, Laura shares more than anyone wanted about:
-Placenta pills, mom brain, and vibrator manifestation
-Nipple-twisting orgies and flinging a butt burrito in your doctor’s face
-ADHD, autism, postpartum depression, and the wisdom of a ninety-eight-year-old sage named Anne
-Unsolicited dick, sexual assault, and sister-drugging
-Cheating, fights, and forgiveness
-Choosing love over fear and healing the world
Laura does not hold back when it comes to sharing stories of screw-ups, triumphs, and learning from her mistakes. Whether she’s crying into a diaper in a Whole Foods parking lot or desperately soliciting advice from a random elderly stranger (who has most certainly considered a restraining order), Laura is able to laugh at herself even during her worst moments—more importantly, she makes us laugh, cry, and feel less alone in the world.
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One morning, Jenny McCarthy sensed something was wrong and ran into her two-year-old son Evan's room to discover he was having a seizure. In that moment, Jenny was thrust into the midst of a medical odyssey. After numerous misdiagnoses and many harrowing, life-threatening episodes, Evan was finally diagnosed with autism. Jenny didn't know what to do next and found herself alone, without any resources except for her determination to help her son.
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unfortunate
- By R. Clausen on 03-24-08
By: Jenny McCarthy
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Girl, Wash Your Face
- Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be
- By: Rachel Hollis
- Narrated by: Rachel Hollis
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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As the founder of the lifestyle website TheChicSite.com and CEO of her own media company, Rachel Hollis developed an immense online community by sharing tips for better living while fearlessly revealing the messiness of her own life. Now, in this challenging and inspiring new book, Rachel exposes the 20 lies and misconceptions that too often hold us back from living joyfully and productively.
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More for women who are mothers
- By MeredithNCSU girl on 04-07-18
By: Rachel Hollis
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Challenge Accepted!
- 253 Steps to Becoming an Anti-It Girl
- By: Celeste Barber
- Narrated by: Celeste Barber
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Part memoir, part comedy routine, part advice manual, Challenge Accepted! is Celeste at her best, revealing her secrets to love, friendship, family, and marriage (oh hai, #hothusband), and how to deal with life’s many challenges - why she checks the bath for sharks, how Nutella quite literally shaped who she is as a woman, and why being famous on Instagram is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s real, like totally, really real.
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Prepare to crack up in the grocery store
- By Chicago_Mama on 05-30-19
By: Celeste Barber
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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This Is Not Over
- A Novel
- By: Holly Brown
- Narrated by: Madeleine Maby, Donna Postel
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Two very different women with this in common: Each harbors her own secret, her own reason why she can't just let this go. Neither can yield, not before they've dredged up all that's hidden, even if it has the power to shatter all they've built.
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Pettiness Turn Twisted!
- By Jenn on 01-19-17
By: Holly Brown
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A Necessary End: A Novel
- By: Holly Brown
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 12 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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At nineteen Leah bears a remarkable resemblance to the young woman Adrienne once was. Which is why Adrienne knows the baby Leah is carrying is meant to be hers. But Leah's got ideas of her own: Her baby's going to get a life in California; why shouldn't she? All she wants is to live in Adrienne's house for a year after the baby's born and get a fresh start. It seems like a small price for Adrienne to pay to get their baby. And with Gabe suddenly onboard, what could possibly go wrong?
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Long time audible listener.
- By Cherith DuBois on 07-11-15
By: Holly Brown
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I Like You Just the Way I Am
- Stories About Me and Some Other People
- By: Jenny Mollen
- Narrated by: Jenny Mollen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved - by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc.
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Hmm...Why am I listening to a bio of Jenny Mollen?
- By Elisabeth W. on 09-16-15
By: Jenny Mollen
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Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- By: Charles McDowell
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
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An Enjoyable Listen
- By Elle W on 11-05-13
By: Charles McDowell
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True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness
- A Feminist Coming of Age
- By: Christine Lahti
- Narrated by: Christine Lahti
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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For decades, actress and director Christine Lahti has captivated the hearts and minds of her audience through iconic roles in Chicago Hope, Running on Empty, Housekeeping, And Justice for All, Swing Shift, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, God of Carnage, and The Blacklist. Now, in True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness, this acclaimed performer channels her creativity inward to share her own story for the first time.
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Christine Lahti, Actress, Activist and A+ Author!
- By L. Cat Schultz on 10-26-18
By: Christine Lahti
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White Girl Problems
- By: Babe Walker
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she's never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab - that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day.
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Hysterical
- By Kimberlykate on 02-01-13
By: Babe Walker
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Hey Mom
- By: Louie Anderson
- Narrated by: Louie Anderson
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Louie Anderson has been channeling his beloved mom in his iconic stand-up comedy for decades - but she passed away before getting to see him reach new heights with his breakout role. Hey Mom is Louie's way of catching Ora Zella Anderson up on everything that has been going on in his life, including his continued struggles with food and family, but also how so much has changed for the better. He also has plenty of laugh-out-loud stories about his incredibly resilient mother and his 10 siblings, as well as observations on the absurdities of life.
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I love Louie even more now
- By Candace on 05-02-18
By: Louie Anderson
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Mother Warriors
- A Nation of Parents Healing Autism against All Odds
- By: Jenny McCarthy
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 5 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
No two autistic children heal in exactly the same way. And in her new book, Jenny expands her message to share recovery stories from parents across the country, showing how each parent fought to find her own child's perfect "remedy of interventions." Along the way, Jenny shares her own journey as an autism advocate and mother, as well as the continuing progress of her son, Evan. Emotional and genuinely practical, Mother Warriors will inspire a generation of parents with hope.
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McCarthy Is Pro Vaccine Safety
- By DEF on 04-16-16
By: Jenny McCarthy
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Mo Rocca has always loved obituaries - reading about the remarkable lives of global leaders, Hollywood heavyweights, and innovators who changed the world. But not every notable life has gotten the send-off it deserves. His quest to right that wrong inspired Mobituaries, his number one hit podcast. Now with Mobituaries, the audiobook, he has gone much further, with all new essays on artists, entertainers, sports stars, political pioneers, founding fathers, and more. Even if you know the names, you’ve never understood why they matter...until now.
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The year is 1823, and the trappers of the Rocky Mountain Fur Company live a brutal frontier life. Hugh Glass is among the company's finest men, an experienced frontiersman and an expert tracker. But when a scouting mission puts him face-to-face with a grizzly bear, he is viciously mauled and not expected to survive. Two company men are dispatched to stay behind and tend to Glass before he dies. When the men abandon him instead, Glass is driven to survive by one desire: revenge.
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In the mid-1970s, scientists began using DNA sequences to reexamine the history of all life. Perhaps the most startling discovery to come out of this new field is horizontal gene transfer (HGT), or the movement of genes across species lines. For instance, we now know that roughly eight percent of the human genome arrived not through traditional inheritance from directly ancestral forms, but sideways by viral infection - a type of HGT. In The Tangled Tree David Quammen chronicles these discoveries through the lives of the researchers who made them.
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Creep
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If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late
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If You're In My Office, It's Already Too Late. James Sexton knows this. After dealing with over 1000 clients whose marriages have dissolved over everything from an ill-advised threesome with the nanny to the uneven division of carpool duties, he also knows all of the what- not-to-dos for couples who want to build - and consistently work to preserve - a lasting, fulfilling relationship. Described by former clients as a "courtroom gunslinger" and "the sociopath you want on your side", Sexton tells the unvarnished truth about relationships. These usually derive from dishonest communication.
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Scrappy Little Nobody
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Anna Kendrick's autobiographical collection of essays amusingly recounts memorable moments throughout her life, from her middle-class upbringing in New England to the blockbuster movies that have made her one of Hollywood's most popular actresses today. Expanding upon the witty and ironic dispatches for which she is known, Anna Kendrick's essays offer her one-of-a-kind commentary on the absurdities she's experienced on her way to and from the heart of pop culture.
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Anna Kendrick: Scrappy Little... Revelation
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Pegasus Bridge
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In the early morning hours of June 6, 1944, a small detachment of British airborne troops stormed the German defense forces and paved the way for the Allied invasion of Europe. Pegasus Bridge was the first engagement of D-day, the turning point of World War II. This gripping account of it by acclaimed author Stephen Ambrose brings to life a daring mission so crucial that, had it been unsuccessful, the entire Normandy invasion might have failed.
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Great story told in greater detal
- By Amazon Customer on 08-16-17
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Searching for Franklin
- New Answers to the Great Arctic Mystery
- By: Ken McGoogan
- Narrated by: Bob Souer
- Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
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This book interweaves two narratives. The first treats the Royal Navy's Arctic Overland Expedition of 1819, a harbinger-misadventure during which Franklin rejected the advice of Dene and Metis leaders and lost eleven of his twenty-one men. The second discovers a startling new answer to that greatest of Arctic mysteries: what was the root cause of the catastrophe that engulfed Franklin's last expedition?
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Great story with poor narrator
- By A. M. Rado on 07-06-24
By: Ken McGoogan
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The Marriage of Opposites
- By: Alice Hoffman
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Growing up on idyllic St. Thomas in the early 1800s, Rachel dreams of life in faraway Paris. Rachel's mother, a pillar of their small refugee community of Jews who escaped the Inquisition, has never forgiven her daughter for being a difficult girl who refuses to live by the rules. Growing up, Rachel's salvation is their maid Adelle's belief in her strengths and her deep, lifelong friendship with Jestine, Adelle's daughter. But Rachel's life is not her own.
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Intoxicating and Complex Journey
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By: Alice Hoffman
What listeners say about Idiots
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Holly
- 08-16-22
Fantastic and SO.DANG.RELATABLE
I want more from LC and Family!
I adore them and how, like Laura said, honest she is and how understanding Stephen is. The book had me at tears, both happy and sad. but also laughing and enticed by what she was saying.
Read read read!!!!!
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- Tracy Slogis
- 04-07-22
AHHHHHMAZING!
I need every book that I listen to in this app to be narrated by Laura. She is brilliant. This book is brilliant. EVERYTHING IS BRILLIANT....oh and BALLSACKS! 🤣 IYKYK
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- Brandy Davis
- 04-10-22
Great performance! great story!
I am so glad I got the audible version! This is the best reading that I have ever heard of any book, insanely interesting story, I wish it never ended!
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- c.Shughart
- 04-11-22
Brilliant! Inspiring! Real and raunchy in the best way!
Effin Amazing! I laughed so hard that I may or may not have peed on myself a few times! Kitty whiskers and ass burritos had me snorting with laughter!
This is one of the most raw and down to earth books I have read in my life! Thank you for sharing and thank you for narrating about ball sacks in your own voice…. No one else could have done that justice
!
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- a.ross
- 04-20-22
All of the Feels
I absolutely loved this book, Im sad its over but hopeful she will write another. I laughed, I cried, I had goose bumps, she gave me all of the feelings!
Laura has this amazing way of being vulnerable and allowing others to relate to her. She has given me so much insight of just how perfectly imperfect my life is and how to truly embrace it all. I will be taking her advice and being so much more optimistic and I will absolutely be starting affirmations. She is such an incredible person. Not just her but her whole family. Her kids are blessed to have her and Stephen as parents.
Thank you so much Laura and family for sharing your story. I appreciate it more than you know.
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- Anonymous User
- 04-06-22
Incredible!
I expected nothing less after reading Idiot, and as a fellow mama in recovery I loved everything about this book. The way Laura unapologetically shares her journey through recovery and motherhood, including the most messy and relatable that rarely gets talked about but so many of us experience. I feel so motivated and rejuvenated in my own life as a woman and mother after listening to this book. Thank you Laura!
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- Anonymous User
- 04-07-22
Lovely
Thanks you laura for sharing your life with us, and making people who don’t have the right words to say how they feel not feel alone in this world!
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- Amanda Lusignolo
- 04-09-22
Amazing and Real
Laura doesn't put on a fake persona. She is a no bullshit mom who is struggling just like the rest of us. It was so refreshing hearing her real life struggles with addiction, marriage and motherhood. I will always be a fan from here on out!
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- DG-R
- 04-09-22
Wonderful book!
This book was amazing! I have never read a memoir before and got challenged to do a book list for 2022 from my niece. This was such a great book! I can’t believe you have gone threw so much! I am definitely 100% a fan from now on! Going to start reading the next book! Thank you so much for the great book!
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- Melissa & Broc Greenhalgh
- 04-11-22
If you want the undiluted truth this is your book.
Laura's honesty regarding any subject never ceases to shock me. I am so glad she has the guts to stand up to haters, to embrace the barbs and Karen sterio types of the world, and the ability to shit herself and then admit it to the world. Laura has forever changed my life especially by bringing light to the PPD topic. I am too a suffer and shared her video on my Facebook page to help explain it to my family and friends, who at no fault of their own never understood how devastating and terrifying it was. Thank you for making me not feel alone. I have not been a part of the me too movement but I can only imagine how many women, girls, men, and human beings are going to benefit from your bravery to share. I hope that by you sharing your stories, that no one ever feels alone when going through anything related to the me too movement. I have an autistic child, and my hope for our sons is that being autistic won't mean anything in the future. That someday it will be as simple as "Hey I shit myself one time to." Thank you for sharing your beautiful children with us. Thank you for being so open about your marriage and all its flaws. It's a beautiful story. Most of all thank you for making me and my werido family laugh! I am so happy all of your dreams have come true, you deserve it Laura! I love you. ❤️
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