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Ill Met by Moonlight
- Narrated by: Bill Oberst Jr.
- Length: 3 hrs and 7 mins
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Publisher's summary
Walking death, they're called.
And those horrible macadamia trees.
But their real names are Whig, Mary Jane, and Quetzalcoatl, just to name three of them.
Trees don't walk. But here they do. In Ill Met by Moonlight they walk, they kill, they eat people, and then they're....
Nope.
Telling you more would spoil the fun.
Welcome to this horror collection about the walking macadamia nut trees of Hawaii. Believe it or not, you're going to laugh. A new addition to the humorous horror genre.
Enjoy.
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- By: Seanan McGuire
- Narrated by: Mary Robinette Kowal
- Length: 12 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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For most people, the story of their lives is just that: the accumulation of time, encounters, and actions into a cohesive whole. But for an unfortunate few, that day-to-day existence is affected - perhaps infected is a better word - by memetic incursion: where fairy tale narratives become reality, often with disastrous results.
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Boring
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 01-23-18
By: Seanan McGuire
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John Dies at the End
- By: David Wong
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
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Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
- By C Yohe on 11-19-12
By: David Wong
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The Best Horror of the Year, Volume 4
- By: Ellen Datlow - author/editor, Stephen King, Peter Straub
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell, Rebecca Mitchell, Michael Healy, and others
- Length: 16 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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With tales from Laird Barron, Stephen King, John Langan, Peter Straub, and many others, and featuring Datlow’s comprehensive overview of the year in horror, now, more than ever, The Best Horror of the Year provides the petrifying horror fiction readers have come to expect - and enjoy.
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Only a few decent stories in this bunch.
- By Jerry on 12-06-14
By: Ellen Datlow - author/editor, and others
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Horror Stories
- Twenty-Six Scary Tales
- By: Jack Kilborn, J. A. Konrath
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 8 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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This collection features a menagerie of horror stories. Some are scary. Some are disturbing. Some are funny. Meet werewolves, vampires, zombies, psychopaths, aliens, cannibals, ghosts, and various things that go bump in the night. Previously published in dozens of anthologies and magazines, some of these tales are mild, but some are extreme. Let the reader beware...
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IS A PIECE OF A@@, WORTH PRISON?, HELL YA!
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 02-10-16
By: Jack Kilborn, and others
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The Original Adventures of Hank the Cowdog
- By: John R. Erickson
- Narrated by: John R. Erickson
- Length: 2 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it. Guts, glory, danger, and sacrifice are all in a day's work for Hank the Cowdog, Head of Ranch Security. While investigating a murder on the ranch, Hank finds himself the number-one suspect.
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Hank: a timeless chuckle for families everywhere.
- By The Super-duper Amazing Silver Golem on 03-16-16
By: John R. Erickson
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Swindle
- By: Gordon Korman
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Popular author Gordon Korman has sold millions of copies of his irreverant books for young readers. In this fast-paced caper, 11-year-old Griffin Bing finds something far more profitable than cobwebs during a haunted house sleepover - a rare Babe Ruth baseball card. But when a swindler scams the card from Griffin for only $125, the resourceful sixth grader and his friends plot their revenge.
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No at all what I expected
- By Lynn on 01-11-12
By: Gordon Korman
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Into the Out Of
- By: Alan Dean Foster
- Narrated by: Joel Richards
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Earth is being invaded by the shetani - spirit creatures so small and stealthy that only one man knows about the increasing peril. The potential savior is an African elder named Olkeloki who is capable of fighting evil both in this world and the spirit one. But to be successful he must recruit the help of two others: government agent Joshua Oak, and a feisty young woman named Merry Sharrow. Only the three of them can keep the shetani from destroying reality as we know it.
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Another Great Book by a Master Storyteller!
- By Tracy Michael Herring on 05-03-21
By: Alan Dean Foster
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Chasing the Moon
- By: A. Lee Martinez
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Diana's life was in a rut - she hated her job, she was perpetually single, and she needed a place to live. But then the perfect apartment came along. It seemed too good to be true - because it was. As it turns out, the apartment was already inhabited - by monsters.
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Douglas Adams on Acid
- By Karen on 08-22-14
By: A. Lee Martinez
What listeners say about Ill Met by Moonlight
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Leonora Raye
- 10-28-17
day of triffids on steroids!
Vivid imagery and imagination take this collection over the edge! Fun and colorful from start to finish.
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- Norma Miles
- 09-13-19
Feed me. Feed me now. Now. NOW. Right NOW.
Ill Met by Moonlight, is a delightfully unexpected pleasure: a book of nine short stories with a continuity of theme: the macadamia trees of a small estate in Hawaii which had been transplanted to the other side of the island by a research company, up to and including their relocating to a new place, an island grouping suitable named No Mans Land. Every story is refreshingly different, from the (almost) conventional private eye investigation - the title story - through to the discovery of what a man's cat really thought about his owner. The reader will be introduced to murderous attacks, the quest for an homeland, the escape and transformation of a killer from jail and even a recipe for Brown Betty, a form of apple pie (although I am unable to verify how good this is as I have not yet cooked it, but if it was good enough to create an ambassador....).
These tales could be construed as horror stories were it not for the delicious naughtiness and humour each brings, as we!l as being well written. The first story instantly draws in the reader with three quirky characters, thrust briefly into focus and as quickly dispatched again, but cleverly glimpsed at different moments of time to bring them onto a collision course. Despite their brief presence, all three make a big impact. Readers will be delighted to find literary references peeping out of some chapters, too. Bill Oberst Jr., the narrator of this audiobook, creates his own impact with his excellent performance. He has a pleasant voice and reads with good humoured clarity, allowing the stories to flow seamlessly through him, his own character disappearing behind that of the beings in the book. Each protagonist is individually and appropriately voiced and the whole is a pleasure to hear.
Each chapter of the book, after the initial dedication, is a separate story, so they are easy to find. The titles are:
1) I'll Met by Moonlight
2). Macedonians on the Move
3). The Curious Case of the Brown Betty
4) The Sitter Tree
5) All's well that Ends
6) Hunzel Monday
7). No Mans Land
8) Expiation
9) Taba Mori
The individual chapter titles also each have their own dedication, some to folks personal to the author, some more widely known, such as Steven King, Ray Bradbury, and Richard Branson. A daring move by this adventurous author: but she has successfully delivered the horror wrapped up in laughter and smiles. A pretty amazing achievement.
My thanks to the rights holder of Ill Met by Moonlight, who, at my request, freely gifted me with a complimentary copy, via Audio Empire. Definitely recommended to ease away the tensions of everyday, mundane, life. I had thought this book might be fun but it surpassed my expectations.
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1 person found this helpful
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- SEAC
- 02-04-23
High 4s
I love horror comedy. so walking talking trees are something I dig. I honestly think this is my first read with mutated macadamia trees, so kudos to the author for their brilliant imagination!!!
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- DystopiaGrrl
- 08-03-17
Nice and creepy!
A very good series of short horror stories, brought vividly to life by Bill Oberst Jr. I love that Ms. Rix took ordinary macadamia trees and made them creepy, sentient characters. I hope to see more stories about them! :)
I really enjoyed listening(and I would recommend listening in the dark; I didn't, but the next time I definitely will).
The stories will make you look over your shoulder, any time you're around any trees!
So if you love horror, and are looking for something different, check this out. I very much recommend it!
--DystopiaGrrl
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2 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 08-07-17
We are not alone!
Plant life is alive and well living alongside us in our existence. They have natural defense mechanisms that are meant to protect them from being eaten by us, such as lectins, phytates, and oxalates. Enough micro nutrition, the point is, this book offers some insightful views about how plants and people may need to eventually get on board together. I enjoyed the detailed writing that incorporated lots of action, sensory imaging, and as always the narrative stylings of Bill O'Berst Jr added amazing depth and colour to the characters, as well as the Trees!!! I thought the idea of using a Macadamia tree was brilliant. Their menacing leaves and seed pods play into a tree that might give you some fits; like a Magnolia tree with its many weapons. Overall the author, Gretchen
Nix, shows the connection that we all have on each other and warns us to make sure we weigh all the consequences before we act. I enjoyed the Brown Betty recipe and always appreciate a shoutout to the great Magnum PI!!!
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- Patrick Kelly
- 11-26-17
Hilarious stories!
This is a side-splitting set of stories about walking macadamia trees that pose a significant health risk to humans.
You do not want to get in the way of these bad boys! I laughed out loud more than once.
Ms. Rix is not afraid to have her trees chomp down on a few humans. But for the most part, they deserved it.
Bill Oberst Jr provides enthusiastic narration that fits the tone of the stories well. He really made the stories come to life.
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- Sydney Renee Slaughter
- 08-03-17
Hilarious and fantastic!
A fun listen from beginning to end! Written in a similar fashion to Ray Bradbury's The Martian Chronicles, which guarantees something everybody will enjoy (even if you don't like the whole thing, you'll probably like at least one story). Bill Oberst Jr brings the stories to life with unique voices and a wonderfully smooth way of talking that really engages the listener. Dramatic and comedic timing was downright perfect and I thoroughly enjoyed his Winnie-The-Pooh-sounding cat. Gretchen Rix leaves plenty to the imagination while also managing to build a unique world around the concept of walking, talking, murdering macadamia trees that (unlike most horror stories) doesn't end in the total annihilation of the threat in question. I enjoyed it immensely and I highly recommend it to anyone who likes a creative concept (or to those who know a good tree).
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3 people found this helpful
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- Texas Homesteader
- 01-02-20
Great narration, gory silly fun stories
This performance really is superb and brings a delightfully weird set of stories to life. The characters are well written by Rix, whose wicked sense of humor is most effectively deployed by Oberst's gift for character voices and engaging narration. I highly recommend it.
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- Melissa and Josh
- 08-05-17
Not My Cup of Tea
I was given this story for an honest review. On that note, I'd like to apologize that I wasn't able to finish this batch of short stories. In all honesty, I wasn't a fan at all. I got through the first three stories and, after having not liked any of them thus far, I decided to stop.
I think instead of having written multiple short stories about attacking, human eating, macadamia trees, the author should have condensed them down to a single story. That way there would have been a better flow to the stories and they would have had some meat to them. As they stand, there's just nothing there. There are no real descriptions of the characters besides a lady (Betty) being fat. There was no reason or urge to continue listening because nothing really happened.
I didn't like the authors writing style; instead of experiencing the story alongside the narrator, it was more like listening to someone simply tell a story. Boring. One might imagine these being good stories (this batch was under the Horror label on Audible) to be read at night or something along that line, but no. These were just boring. Like the author and story, I wasn't a fan of the narrator either. There were so many random pauses throughout the part I listened to, it's like he got tired after reading a couple of sentences, stopped recording and then started up again. There were times when he would incorporate these long pauses between words that made no sense. There were many times, when... not sure if this was because there were misspelled words in the stories or because the narrator couldn't read properly...but lots of words were pronounced wrong. For example, instead of saying "amBulance" the narrator pronounced it as "amUlance."
Question for the first story: why would a couple of robbers think a laboratory would have been a good place to rob for money? That made no sense.
Question for the second story: What happened? I swear the story started and like 2 seconds later it was done.
Needless to say, I wouldn't recommend this author, story, or narrator to others. No thanks.
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