I'm Laughing Because I'm Crying Audiobook By Youngmi Mayer cover art

I'm Laughing Because I'm Crying

A Memoir

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I'm Laughing Because I'm Crying

By: Youngmi Mayer
Narrated by: Youngmi Mayer
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About this listen

From standup comedian Youngmi Mayer, an unforgettable memoir written with “raw, enviable freedom that simply floors you,” interrogating whiteness, gender, and sexuality in America, navigating a tumultuous childhood in Korea and Saipan, and coming to terms with her parents’ shortcomings (Michelle Zauner).

“Do you know what happens if you laugh while crying? Hair grows out of your butthole.”

It was a constant truism Youngmi Mayer’s mother would say threateningly after she would make her daughter laugh while crying. Her mother used it to cheer her up in moments when she could tell Youngmi was overtaken with grief. The humorous saying would never fail to lighten the mood, causing both daughter and mother to laugh and cry at the same time. Her mother had learned this trick from her mother, and her mother had learned this from her mother before her: it had also helped an endless string of her family laugh through suffering.

In I’m Laughing Because I’m Crying, Youngmi jokes through the retelling of her childhood as an offbeat biracial kid in Saipan, a place next to a place that Americans might know. She jokes through her difficult adolescence where she must parent her own parents: a mother who married her husband because he looked like white Jesus (and the singer of The Bee Gees). And with humor and irreverence and full-throated openness, she jokes even while sharing the story of what her family went through during the last century of colonialism and war in Korea, while reflecting how years later, their wounds affect her in New York City as a single mom, all the while interrogating whiteness, gender, and sexuality.

Youngmi jokes through these stories in hopes of passing onto the listener what her family passed down to her: The gift of laughing while crying. The gift of a hairy butthole. Because throughout it all, the one thing she learned was one cannot exist without the other. And like a yin and yang, this duality is reflected in this whip-smart, heart-wrenching, and disarmingly funny memoir told by a bright new voice with so much heart and wisdom.

©2024 Youngmi Mayer (P)2024 Little, Brown & Company
Essays Parenting & Families Relationships Comedy Funny Witty Celebrity Jokes
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Critic reviews

“Youngmi Mayer has the incomparable ability to find something funny in the most life shattering material. She writes with a raw, enviable freedom that simply floors you.”—Michelle Zauner, New York Times bestselling author of Crying in H Mart

“Youngmi Mayer’s wit shines as she takes you across a spectrum of emotions, setting you up for heartbreak only to drop-kick you with a laugh. Through an intimate and relatable portrayal of her family’s history, I’m Laughing Because I’m Crying explores all the parts that make us who we are. She’s shown me that there’s a little entitled white guy inside each of us.”—Sohla El-Waylly, New York Times bestselling author of Start Here: Instructions for Becoming a Better Cook

"You should probably get this book just so I don't have to call you up or show up to your house and read to you from it."—Alexander Chee, author of How to Write an Autobiographical Novel

Captivating Storytelling • Heartfelt Memoir • Insightful Narrative • Authentic Writing • Humorous Moments
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Youngmi Mayer is an incredible author and hilarious. Her beautiful and talented storytelling provides the reader insights into what it’s like as a mixed race Korean white woman in Korea and the US. Wish I could read it for the first time again!

Couldn’t put down

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unique and heartfelt story full of permission to be herself. i learned a lot about Korean culture

fun & profound

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A good memoir doesn't just tell a story, it puts it in a larger context. Youngmi does this and makes you laugh while you cry. Her greatest talent.

Honest and insightful

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I love how she tells her story in relation to her understanding of the stories of her grandparents, parents, ex husband, and son. She is such a great writer and tells a rich story in few and well written words. I'm about to listen to it a second time because it feels like I'm listening to a friend and it's a comforting feeling

My favorite book this year

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She writes so well and the stories are tender/funny/heartbreaking. She speaks with honesty, even when it’s not easy. I felt inspired. Highly recommend!!!!

Unexpected and fresh

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while I cried. I too have a hairy butt hole now. Thank you Youngmi.

I laughed ...

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This is a hilarious and heartbreaking memoir and I loved it from beginning to end.

I knew I would love it and I did

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Went into this knowing zero about the author and was just blown away. Highly recommend.

Visceral

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I appreciated some parts of the story, while some judgmental parts of the story midway through the book kind of got less engaging for me. I wanted to enjoy/like the book more than was my experience, unfortunately.

not sure

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The title says it all. Mayer describes the undescribable and is herself laughing and crying genuinely throughout.

Genuine, funny, heartbreaking and healing

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