I'm Laughing Because I'm Crying
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Youngmi Mayer
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By:
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Youngmi Mayer
About this listen
From standup comedian Youngmi Mayer, an unforgettable memoir written with “raw, enviable freedom that simply floors you,” interrogating whiteness, gender, and sexuality in America, navigating a tumultuous childhood in Korea and Saipan, and coming to terms with her parents’ shortcomings (Michelle Zauner).
“Do you know what happens if you laugh while crying? Hair grows out of your butthole.”
It was a constant truism Youngmi Mayer’s mother would say threateningly after she would make her daughter laugh while crying. Her mother used it to cheer her up in moments when she could tell Youngmi was overtaken with grief. The humorous saying would never fail to lighten the mood, causing both daughter and mother to laugh and cry at the same time. Her mother had learned this trick from her mother, and her mother had learned this from her mother before her: it had also helped an endless string of her family laugh through suffering.
In I’m Laughing Because I’m Crying, Youngmi jokes through the retelling of her childhood as an offbeat biracial kid in Saipan, a place next to a place that Americans might know. She jokes through her difficult adolescence where she must parent her own parents: a mother who married her husband because he looked like white Jesus (and the singer of The Bee Gees). And with humor and irreverence and full-throated openness, she jokes even while sharing the story of what her family went through during the last century of colonialism and war in Korea, while reflecting how years later, their wounds affect her in New York City as a single mom, all the while interrogating whiteness, gender, and sexuality.
Youngmi jokes through these stories in hopes of passing onto the listener what her family passed down to her: The gift of laughing while crying. The gift of a hairy butthole. Because throughout it all, the one thing she learned was one cannot exist without the other. And like a yin and yang, this duality is reflected in this whip-smart, heart-wrenching, and disarmingly funny memoir told by a bright new voice with so much heart and wisdom.
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Critic reviews
“Youngmi Mayer’s wit shines as she takes you across a spectrum of emotions, setting you up for heartbreak only to drop-kick you with a laugh. Through an intimate and relatable portrayal of her family’s history, I’m Laughing Because I’m Crying explores all the parts that make us who we are. She’s shown me that there’s a little entitled white guy inside each of us.”—Sohla El-Waylly, New York Times bestselling author of Start Here: Instructions for Becoming a Better Cook
"You should probably get this book just so I don't have to call you up or show up to your house and read to you from it."—Alexander Chee, author of How to Write an Autobiographical Novel
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A bad best man’s speech can ruin a wedding. Why do we plan every detail of a perfect day and then give the groom’s idiot best friend five minutes of total power? Enter Nate (Glen Powell), a speechwriter-for-hire who helps people write incredible best man speeches. To keep the best man from embarrassing himself (and the newlyweds), Nate uses his list of don’ts: Don’t mention the exes, don’t be rated R, and don’t bum everyone out. Nate’s system never fails. That is, until he meets Dan (Nicholas Braun).
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SO GOOD
- By Csutty on 09-23-24
By: Matthew Starr
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Slaughterhouse-Five
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- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
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Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
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I Can't Make This Up
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Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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On May 8, 1945, when he was just ten years old, Gidon Lev was liberated from a Nazi concentration camp after four nightmarish years. Twenty-six family members, including Gidon’s beloved father and grandparents, were murdered in the Holocaust. Only Gidon and his mother survived. From the depths of despair, a little boy who had lost so much was determined to build a life filled with adventure and love. And that is exactly what he did.
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Love this
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What listeners say about I'm Laughing Because I'm Crying
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- Amazon Customer
- 12-13-24
Genuine, funny, heartbreaking and healing
The title says it all. Mayer describes the undescribable and is herself laughing and crying genuinely throughout.
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- Rena O
- 12-16-24
My favorite book this year
I love how she tells her story in relation to her understanding of the stories of her grandparents, parents, ex husband, and son. She is such a great writer and tells a rich story in few and well written words. I'm about to listen to it a second time because it feels like I'm listening to a friend and it's a comforting feeling
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-26-24
Couldn’t put down
Youngmi Mayer is an incredible author and hilarious. Her beautiful and talented storytelling provides the reader insights into what it’s like as a mixed race Korean white woman in Korea and the US. Wish I could read it for the first time again!
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- madisun
- 11-29-24
fun & profound
unique and heartfelt story full of permission to be herself. i learned a lot about Korean culture
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- Extee
- 11-25-24
Visceral
Went into this knowing zero about the author and was just blown away. Highly recommend.
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- Gabe
- 12-04-24
I laughed ...
while I cried. I too have a hairy butt hole now. Thank you Youngmi.
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- Jennifer Martinelli
- 12-08-24
I knew I would love it and I did
This is a hilarious and heartbreaking memoir and I loved it from beginning to end.
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- steppingonlegos
- 11-17-24
Loved everything about this book
The story of her life is so well told with just the right level of self deprecation and without hubris that often annoys me in memoirs. I laughed so much, cried a whole lot, learned a lot, and thought about things in new ways. The author reading her own book was the cherry on top. The way she does other peoples voices made me laugh every time. Even the credits at the end made me laugh. I haven’t finished an audio book so quickly maybe ever?! It was just such a pleasure to look forward to listening to every spare minute I had.
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- Aimee Snyder
- 01-18-25
Incredible
I know the author as a comedian so I knew this would be funny but it ripped out my heart. It is so well written that I must demand she write another book immediately because I am so sad this one is over. Fantastic narration. I am so annoying recommending it to everyone I know. But I love it so much! Thank you Youngmi for this amazing book.
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- Lizzie Booher
- 12-08-24
Could not stop listening to this
I already loved this author from her comedy and her prose blew me away. The way she describes her life hits on so many insights that I could not begin to nail the way she has. Phenomenal!
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