Inappropriately Human
21 Short Stories
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Narrated by:
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Andrew Heaton
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By:
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Andrew Heaton
About this listen
“We would like to teach your species a type of orgasm that cures cancer.”
So say just some of the aliens and robots who appear in Inappropriately Human. Award-winning comedian Andrew Heaton brings wit and warmth to his vision of humanity, the supernatural, and bureaucrats in his debut short story collection.
Learn the pitfalls of settling resurrected Neanderthals in Detroit. Explore the work-life balance of a professional who assumes other people’s hangovers. Or the travails of a State Department diplomat posted to a planet with relentless boredom and allergies. Discover the challenges time-travel regulators face when everyone tries to kill Hitler.
©2021 Andrew Heaton (P)2022 Andrew HeatonListeners also enjoyed...
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Milan, Italy, today. It is the most serious crisis that the world has ever faced. Bewildered, young and old, believers and atheists are asking all the same distressing questions: What will they do now that the greatest dream of humanity has turned into a nightmare? What will happen when the countdown clock winds to zero?
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Not quite dead...yet
- By Matthew on 11-24-15
By: Glenn Cooper
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The Fragile World
- A Novel
- By: Paula Treick DeBoard
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy, Will Damron
- Length: 11 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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The Kaufmans have always considered themselves a normal, happy family. Curtis is a physics teacher at a local high school. His wife, Kathleen, restores furniture for upscale boutiques. Daniel is away at college on a prestigious music scholarship, and 12-year-old Olivia is a happy-go-lucky kid whose biggest concern is passing her next math test. And then comes the middle-of-the-night phone call that changes everything.
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Inaccurate
- By CCB on 03-10-15
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An Abundance of Katherines
- By: John Green
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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When it comes to relationships, Colin Singleton’s type is girls named Katherine. And when it comes to girls named Katherine, Colin is always getting dumped. Nineteen times, to be exact. On a road trip miles from home, this anagram-happy, washed-up child prodigy has $10,000 in his pocket, a bloodthirsty feral hog on his trail, and an overweight, Judge Judy-loving best friend riding shotgun - but no Katherines.
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struggled to finish listening
- By Daniel on 03-11-20
By: John Green
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The Portable Veblen
- By: Elizabeth Mckenzie
- Narrated by: Julia Gibson
- Length: 12 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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An exuberant, one-of-a-kind novel about love and family, war and nature, new money and old values by a brilliant New Yorker contributor. The Portable Veblen is a dazzlingly original novel that's as big-hearted as it is laugh-out-loud funny. Set in and around Palo Alto amid the culture clash of new money and old (antiestablishment) values, and with the specter of our current wars looming across its words, The Portable Veblen is an unforgettable look at the way we live now.
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Not what it was cracked up to be
- By Linda on 02-03-16
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The Postmortal
- A Novel
- By: Drew Magary
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In a world where an anti-aging cure is available worldwide, immortality comes with its own unique problems. John Farrell is about to get "The Cure". Old age can never kill him now. The only problem is, everything else still can.
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Interesting concept but bleak and wearing
- By Amazon Customer on 05-15-12
By: Drew Magary
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The Man from Primrose Lane
- By: James Renner
- Narrated by: L. J. Ganser
- Length: 13 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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A mind-bending, genre-twisting debut novel. In West Akron, there lived a reclusive elderly man who always wore mittens, even in July. He had no friends and no family; all over town, he was known only as The the Man from Primrose Lane. And on a summer day in 2008, someone murdered him.
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Good read, despite, not because of sci fi twist
- By Lulu W. on 07-18-12
By: James Renner
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If Walls Could Talk
- Haunted Home Renovation, Book 1
- By: Juliet Blackwell
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Melanie Turner has made quite a name for herself remodeling historic houses in the San Francisco Bay Area. But now her reputation may be on the line. At her newest project, a run-down Pacific Heights mansion, Mel is visited by the ghost of a colleague who recently met a bad end with power tools. Mel hopes that by nailing the killer, she can rid herself of the ghostly presence of the murdered man - and not end up a construction casualty herself....
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A Nice Change
- By Carole T. on 06-15-15
By: Juliet Blackwell
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The Year's Top Short SF Novels 5
- By: Cory Doctorow, Ken Liu, John P Murphy, and others
- Narrated by: Tom Dheere, Nancy Linari
- Length: 15 hrs and 54 mins
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Short novels are movie-length narratives that may well be the perfect length for science fiction stories. This audio collection presents the best-of-the-best short science fiction novels published in 2014 by current and emerging masters of this vibrant form of storytelling.
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Narrator sounds like Tony Danza
- By Sean on 03-05-16
By: Cory Doctorow, and others
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True Biz
- A Novel
- By: Sara Novic
- Narrated by: Lisa Flanagan, Kaleo Griffith
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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True biz? The students at the River Valley School for the Deaf just want to hook up, pass their history finals, and have politicians, doctors, and their parents stop telling them what to do with their bodies. This revelatory novel plunges listeners into the halls of a residential school for the deaf, where they’ll meet Charlie, a rebellious transfer student who’s never met another deaf person before; Austin, the school’s golden boy, whose world is rocked when his baby sister is born hearing; and February, the hearing headmistress.
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A good story with added features both intriguing and informational
- By A Signing Mom on 05-15-22
By: Sara Novic
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Nice Girls Don't Have Fangs
- Half-Moon Hollow, Book 1
- By: Molly Harper
- Narrated by: Amanda Ronconi
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
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Maybe it was the Shenanigans gift certificate that put her over the edge. When children's librarian and self-professed nice girl Jane Jameson is fired by her beastly boss and handed $25 in potato skins instead of a severance check, she goes on a bender that's sure to become Half Moon Hollow legend. On her way home, she's mistaken for a deer, shot, and left for dead.
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Refreshing take on the Paranormal Genre
- By Captain Skurvy on 02-21-10
By: Molly Harper
What listeners say about Inappropriately Human
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Frank
- 06-03-23
Very enjoyable
Nice mix of clever stories across a spectrum of genres. Humorous and thoughtful.
Excellent narration.
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- Abe Sloan
- 11-28-24
Wow
This is an odd book of wonderful stories. Some of them are touching. Some of them will make you laugh until you can’t breathe. You want to read this book
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- naveed
- 04-23-23
Mostly good
Short stories can be hard to write and get right. You have very limited room. My luck with stories has not been great. I consider myself lucky if half are decent. Decent, not great. I would say that here about two-thirds are great. And maybe a sixth are decent. The rest suck. Which is really great for a short story collection. The stories are unique and have ideas that I've never come across earlier. I'm so tired of the spaceships and space wars. It's been done to death. Even though there were two stories here with aliens, they were fresh and interesting.
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- jimmy
- 03-07-22
Tremendous
Mr. Heaton has outdone himself. Quirky, Whimsical, Thought-Provoking, and Novel. This collection of short-stories will surely bring a smile to your face.
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- Cameron
- 02-15-22
unexpected hilarious
I picked this buck up on a whim. I don't normally go for comidy books, but I saw it in the science fiction section, listened to the sample and loved both the absurd sample and amazing voice.
truly had lots to offer different people. my personal favorite short story is Re:your timeline infractions. had me bent over laughing at work so hard I had to stop listening and take 5 minutes.
This book has something for everyone in it. I can't wait to read more from this Andrew.
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-04-22
Delightful
Delightful diversion deliberately detailed deviation of devilishness
Great job Andrew I still think you are a time traveling robot alien. There is no other explanation as to how much work you accomplish
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- jericho
- 03-10-22
Entertaining sci fi from the thinking man’s nerd
Andrew excels at storytelling, providing interesting plots that make you think about what makes us human while adding just enough humor to make the medicine go down easy. Lots of varied stories and topics here but I enjoyed “smoothheads don’t fit” the most, I’m not aware of much content involving this particular idea but the idea fascinates me.
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- Rebecca B.
- 10-20-23
Eclectic, engaging fun with Heaton
I found out about Inappropriately Human through the author's podcast The Political Orphanage, which aired a sample story (Re: Your Timeline Infractions). After listening to that and the sample provided on Audible (from The Man Behind the Curtain), I knew I had to have this book. Many of these stories are sci-fi or apocalyptic, but not all. The Man Behind the Curtain (a slice-of-life adventure) and The Whistler (a spooky supernatural thriller) stood out as favorites. Most of the stories are humorous or at least contain humor. Some are heartwarming, and some are dark. I enjoyed the variety.
Two critiques: The book is a bit heavy on the cussing/vulgarity for my taste, although this didn't come as a shock considering Heaton's comedy writing style. The stories vary in length, from vignettes or comedy monologue-style pieces to the written equivalent of a TV show. This is fine except that in the case of about three or four stories the narrative suddenly cuts off without any resolution, just as the story was starting to gain traction. I don't like being left hanging, and I'd like to see Heaton develop some of these stories further. The concepts are interesting enough for a fuller treatment.
Heaton's narration is great. I love it when authors record their own audiobooks, and I find Heaton's voice pleasant to listen to.
This collection is loads of fun, and I would recommend it to anyone who likes Andrew Heaton, irreverent sci-fi, humor, or is just in the mood for something eclectic and different.
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-05-22
Thought Provoking Funny
I thought , I related, and Laughed thought out these stories. Anticipating his next pieces of work!
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- Anonymous User
- 09-23-22
bee boo bop....
this book about AI and a society reliant on ever expanding technology is equally about how our human ess is alive in us and in the technology we create. I loved it.
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