Jesus Was a Time Traveler
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Narrated by:
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Christopher Boucher
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By:
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D.J. Gelner
About this listen
An action-packed dinosaur hunt...wave after wave of bloodthirsty Nazis desperately trying to mow down our heroes...and yes, an appearance by Jesus Himself.
All in a couple days' work for Dr. Phineas Templeton.
A quirky English chap with a taste for fine scotch, Dr. Templeton builds a time machine at the behest of his mysterious benefactor. His mission? To meet Jesus Christ Himself, and garner all of the fame, recognition, and accolades that writing an epic time travelogue would bring.
Unfortunately for Finny, Jesus is actually a fellow time traveler, a hippie named Trent from Colorado in the future. While Trent explains that the past is fixed and immutable (“What happened, like, happened, man...”), Dr. Templeton realizes that he's made a horrible oversight in his calculations, and can't return to his own time period.
The only way home is to follow a list of cryptic instructions his benefactor has hidden on the time machine, which sends him on a madcap, at times hilarious voyage from watching his hero, Sir Isaac Newton, be berated by a high school physics teacher, to hunting dinosaurs, to rescuing two colorful American soldiers and fighting Nazis hellbent on his destruction.
A novel that's been called equal parts The Da Vinci Code and Back to the Future, Jesus Was a Time Traveler combines quirky humor, thought-provoking concepts, intriguing clues, and a finicky universe that would like nothing more than to keep things as they are.
©2012 Dennis John Gelner II (P)2019 Dennis John Gelner IIListeners also enjoyed...
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- Unabridged
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Doctor Benjamin Schröder was far from a man of action. In fact, he was a history teacher - chairman of the Castle Rock University history department - and if his life wasn't perfect, it was close. Until, that is the discussion of his star student Elzbietá Abramowski's dissertation on Operation Oz, the Pacific Allies' invasion of Vladivostok, was brutally interrupted. The psychotic episode that turned his entire world upside down struck with absolutely no warning, and it was more terrifying than anything he should have been able to imagine.
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Trash
- By E on 05-08-19
By: David Weber, and others
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Living Starship 1
- The Last Symbiotes, Book 1
- By: Dante King
- Narrated by: Heather Stonewell, Wayne Kelly
- Length: 12 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Captain James Decker has lived a life of hunting, killing, and earning credits. To some, it hasn’t amounted to much, but to him, it’s led to him captaining the SC Fortune, a space cruiser with a competent crew that he’s grown fond of. After accepting a bounty hunting mission with a beautiful blonde woman as the mark, Decker finds himself soon without a ship and a crew. But as luck would have it, this same mission gives him back what he lost: a new ship and a new crew.
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Narration and internal monolog !!
- By CooJo on 02-16-23
By: Dante King
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Will Save the Galaxy for Food
- By: Yahtzee Croshaw
- Narrated by: Yahtzee Croshaw
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Space travel just isn't what it used to be. With the invention of quantum teleportation, space heroes aren't needed anymore. When one particularly unlucky ex-adventurer masquerades as famous pilot and hate figure Jacques McKeown, he's sucked into an ever-deepening corporate and political intrigue. Between space pirates, adorable deadly creatures, and a missing fortune in royalties, saving the universe was never this difficult!
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Great
- By K. F. on 03-09-17
By: Yahtzee Croshaw
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Titanborn
- By: Rhett C. Bruno
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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After decades hunting wanted offworlders throughout the solar system, Corporate Bounty Hunter Malcolm Graves doesn't bother asking questions. So long as the pay is right, he's the man for the job. And he always works alone. But when a high-profile bombing on Earth has Pervenio Corp clamoring for answers, they force him to team up with a strange, cyber-augmented partner. A young man more interested in statistics than instinct. Their assignment: Track down a suspected group of extremists from Titan who will go to any length to free their moon from the grip of Earth's corporations.
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Great Mystery Sci-fi
- By Bryan on 02-08-19
By: Rhett C. Bruno
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Inception
- A Near Future Thriller
- By: Jonathan Yanez
- Narrated by: Jay Snyder
- Length: 49 mins
- Unabridged
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My history is unknown. My present is violent. My future may be more dangerous still. I use my unique skillset in one of the Moon’s many watering holes. Here, miners can spend their hard-earned money to forget that they’re not among the wealthy elite in the paradise colony on Mars. When a known crime boss walks in, events will begin to unfold hinting at a dark past and an even murkier future.
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Hunh?
- By Linda Luella on 11-08-19
By: Jonathan Yanez
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Outpost
- By: W. Michael Gear
- Narrated by: Alyssa Bresnahan
- Length: 18 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Donovan is a world of remarkable wealth that comes at a high price. When Supervisor Kalico Aguila's ship arrives, she discovers a failing colony, its government overthrown, the few remaining colonists gone wild. Donovan could make her career - or kill her. Planetside, Talina Perez is one of three rulers of the Port Authority colony - the only law in the one remaining town. With the Corporate ship demanding answers about the things she's done, Perez could lose everything, including her life. For Dan Wirth, Donovan is a last chance. A psychopath with a death sentence looming over his head, he will make a desperate play for power. No matter who he has to corrupt, murder, or destroy. Captain Max Taggart is the Corporation's enforcer. But is it too late to seize control of Donovan?
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Must have been written for teenage girls
- By Bob on 03-30-20
By: W. Michael Gear
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The Bayern Agenda
- Galactic Cold War, Book 1
- By: Dan Moren
- Narrated by: Victor Bevine
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Simon Kovalic, top intelligence operative for the Commonwealth of Independent Systems, is on the front line of the burgeoning Cold War with the aggressive Illyrican Empire. He barely escapes his latest mission with a broken arm and vital intel that points to the empire cozying up to the Bayern Corporation: a planet-sized bank. There’s no time to waste, but with Kovalic out of action, his undercover team is handed over to his ex-wife, Lt. Commander Natalie Taylor.
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tedious
- By itinerant on 03-09-19
By: Dan Moren
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Mimic and the Space Engineer Omnibus
- Space Shifter Chronicles, Books 1-3
- By: James David Victor
- Narrated by: Nick Tecosky
- Length: 7 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Higgens has the best job in the galaxy. Except for the fact that he’s technically a janitor on a galactic mining vessel. When he discovers an unknown alien species, his world gets turned upside down. He will have to find unlikely allies if he is going to save his new friend and help her build a new home. The Mimic and the Space Engineer boxed set contains the first three books in the Space Shifter Chronicles. If you like fast-paced space adventures with engaging, and quirky, characters, you will love Higgens, Mimic, and their adventures in space.
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Interesting premise, but I've read better
- By Reviewer on 12-05-20
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Resonant Son
- Resonant Son, Book 1
- By: Christopher Hopper, J. N. Chaney
- Narrated by: Mark Boyett
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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After losing his job and family, Flint Reed finds himself in the middle of a terrorist attack. With nothing but his wits and experience as a former Union police officer, he must do everything he can to stay alive. As he soon discovers, however, there are also hostages, and no one is coming to save them. All hope falls to Flint. But as he fights to navigate the building, the real answers begin to unravel. What are the terrorists really after, and why are they so intent on getting into the vault?
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Die Hard in the Renegade Universe!
- By MLT78 on 02-18-20
By: Christopher Hopper, and others
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The Doomsayer Journeys
- The Complete Adventures
- By: Steve Wetherell
- Narrated by: CC Hogan
- Length: 20 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Fans of Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Good Omens - your wait is over! The next ridiculous sci-fi fantasy series from a snarky British guy is here! And now you can experience the complete Doomsayer Journeys Trilogy in one volume!
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if you like the hitchhikers guide. this is for you
- By LOKI on 09-12-22
By: Steve Wetherell
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Breaking Gods
- Godbreaker, Book 1
- By: D. J. Molles
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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In the beginning, the gods destroyed the world. Five hundred years later, things haven’t gotten much better for humans. The demigods that were left behind to guard over humanity have been using them as fodder for an endless civil war between themselves, and the humans just go on dutifully slaughtering each other, battle after battle. It’s not all bad, though. Perry McGown makes his living off those bloody, stinking battlefields. He works on a crew that reclaims all the spent shell casings. But if anyone found out that he was a deserter from the war, he’d be executed for heresy.
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Why does the author make it so hard to like the main character
- By Teressa Vanda on 10-02-19
By: D. J. Molles
What listeners say about Jesus Was a Time Traveler
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Ed C.
- 10-30-24
Failed to Captivate
When I love a book, I'm totally engrossed and can't wait to turn the proverbial next page or chapter. This book didn't do it for me. Feelings are subjective. I just didn't care about the protagonist or any of the other characters, so I didn't connect with the story.
On the other hand, the premise of the story is interesting -- especially if you're into time travel, as I am. I did finish the book, but have no interest in continuing the series.
The cover of the book is clickbait-y. The interaction with Jesus is a small part of the book near the beginning of the story. IMO, the selection of that character for the cover is unwarranted and may cause some to misinterpret what the book is about.
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- Amaz0n Cust0mer
- 07-12-19
Excellent audio production of an excellent book
I read and reviewed the Kindle version of this book a year or so after it was first released, so I won't fully repeat that review here (if you're so inclined, I would strongly suggest you read some of the reviews for the "print"/ebook edition anyway). I do, however, recommend it *extremely* highly as an incredibly fun thrill ride with plenty of both action and humor, and self-aware references to science fiction and pop culture. Instead, I would like to focus on this particular audio production.
The reader, Chris Boucher, is not one with whom I've been familiar in my various audio "reads." Nonetheless, I found he captured *perfectly* the essences of the main and supporting characters as I had come to know them from my earlier reads of the Kindle book. While I assume his natural voice is likely the one he uses in the chapter titles and afterword, he never breaks character during the narration provided by the central protagonist, Dr. Phineas Templeton. His theatrical interpretation of the (already enjoyable) character is an unparalleled joy to behold (behear?), with such perfectly practiced mannerisms that one can practically see the looks on his face simply in his voice. He breathes life into the character (and all his haughtiness) in a way that deeply impresses me.
He similarly establishes distinctive and highly memorable voices for each of the important characters. It's rather uncanny, but his Trent Albertson and Steve Bloomington are *precisely* the voices I heard in my head while originally reading the book. For the number of characters with British and French accents, the "Yank" (to use Finny's term) produces truly incredible results. Even if the story itself turns out not to be one's "bag," just listening to the performance is entertaining on its own merits.
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- CableMonkey
- 07-12-19
Even Better via Audio Book
Read this book a second time, this time via audio book (which I was given for free for an honest review).
Enough time has passed since my first reading, four years ago, that I had forgotten details of the story. It was fun to revisit this rollicking romp through past and future history.
The end promises a sequel. I can't wait!
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- Miguel Feliciano
- 07-07-19
This Review Has Already Happened...
I received a free credit for this book in exchange for an unbiased review of it.
The past has already happened, so anything we try to do will have no change to the current timeline... maybe it will; maybe not... who knows. This book, however; is a pretty good read if you are into a comedic adventure of time travel and espionage.
There are several funny parts that had me actually laughing out loud, and then there are more serious action scenes that kept me enthralled. The first time-period jump we get to meet Jesus and have a short talk with him, but that's it. "Jesus" doesn't show up again, but his hot grandmother does.
The story was a bit slow in some parts and trying to figure out what the underlying plot was, was a pain some times; especially toward the end. I knew there was something else going on with the commander's mission and Phineas. I figured there would be another story to be told apart from this book, and that's exactly what the author intended.
If you're a fan of time travel, the spy genre, and some comedic action, then this book is a great start to a series.
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- Cindy
- 07-10-19
Not the messenger, the message
This line from the story just caught my attention and it stayed. Great insight. Phineas is such a great character, I enjoyed listening as he traveled. Mixing humor with people and times in history. The authors imagination has you thinking, Sure, could have been.
This audio was given to me free and I voluntarily gave this review.
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- Security Guard Marketing
- 06-29-19
good read
this was a fun and interesting read however I will say the title is more of an attention grabber clickbait... the book is so much more than the title just got to go enjoy it really isn't about Jesus... which by the way did its job as clickbait.....
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- Danny K
- 07-12-19
Laugh out loud funny, but not enough Jesus!
First thing's first. I received a free credit for this book in exchange for an unbiased review of it.
I really had no idea what to expect going into this one. There weren't really any reviews at the time, and based on the title and brief sample, I thought I'd be getting a book about Jesus (aka Trent Albertson) and his time travelling buddies with their misadventures through Nazareth.
Instead, I was introduced to Doctor Phinneas Templeton, one of the finest minds the world has ever known and he's well aware of it. He creates a time machine in 2032 funded by a mysterious benefactor, and for his first stop he's off to meet Jesus himself. He finds Jesus in short order, but he's not what he appears to be, instead he's Trent Albertson, a time traveler in the future who decided to go back in time and become Jesus. Worried about changing the future? No worries, in this universe "whatever happened happened man", making it impossible to impact the future in any way.
There's a major monkey wrench thrown into Phinneas' travels, and he's forced to take an elaborate detour on his way home, picking up new companions along the way. I won't go into further details lest I venture into spoiler territory, but what followed was a wholly unexpeted and delightful journey across 65 million years, that was engaging, extremely well narrated and laugh out loud funny - in spite of (or because of) how unlikable some of the principles are. Highly recommend, and I'm anxiously awaiting the sequel.
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- John S
- 07-21-19
Witty and Smart
Very good narration. The story was funny and smart. Ran a tad slow at points. Overall I recommend the listen.
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- Nick
- 07-28-19
Everything I hoped for
This book was given to me for free at my request and I provided this voluntary review
Hi, welcome!
I'll start off by saying the following; The title of the book is perfect. Though not as much about Jesus as I initially thought. It does make clear the very nature of the book. A ridiculous and fun journey! It's filled with (of course) time travel, snarky comments, witty remarks, adventure, romance, loss, sorrow,redemption, hope, and a lot of sarcasm.
The narration was excellent and fit the story very well.
In some cases I like to tell more about the plot and characters. In this case I will refrain from that.
It's a short book, there might be a second one, but to it is good enough all by itself. So, I'll get right to my recommendation;
You should give this a try if you're looking for; A fun science fiction story with short action scenes, excitement, and a lot of banter in conversations. A story where the main characters travel through time, meet famous people, all while traversing a well laid out plot.
You should not give this a try if; You thought this was about JC himself travelling through time and space saving the poor, the blind and the sick (it's not).
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- Johannes Debler
- 07-16-19
Holy crap, I did not expect that!
At first I was a bit skeptical about where this might go with "Jesus" in the title, but holy crap, this is one of the greatest time travel stories I have had the pleasure to enjoy!
It is a very unique take on the whole time travel genre and all the Star Trek references strewn about just make it so much fun to listen to for a geek.
One big part of why I enjoyed it so much was definitely the narrator. He lends every character a great voice that makes it very easy to distinguish who is talking and makes it easy to follow what is going on. He also seems to have captured the characters voices perfectly.
I can wholeheartedly recommend this if you enjoy a funny but intelligent Sci-fi/time-travel story. You will not regret the 12 hours spent listening to this!
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
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