The problems in Dirk Cooper's life were ghosts, money and the Mob. The solution was real estate. Join notable hobo Dirk Cooper as he lies, cheats and steals his way through life, desperate to recover the things he lost during the housing crash of 2008. When he is approached by a wealthy and powerful man with haunted houses to sell, Dirk thinks his troubles are over. Things are not as they seemed, however, and soon he is caught up in a web of dark magic and danger the likes of which he has never encountered before.

Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.

Humanity is dying, hunted to extinction by creatures of legend. One boy was born to save them all. That boy just got knifed in the back. He looked a bit too much like Aaron, you see. Now it’s Aaron’s job to step up, lest his death correct that little mix-up. But Aaron’s skills as a street rat run more towards stealing and stabbing than saving. The more he learns of what brought dear dead Markus to that fatal alleyway, the more he has to wonder just what the world’s savior was really up to the night the wrong boy died.

Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right? Wrong. Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbors of the realm. Now, instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare.

Including three never-before-published stories, Dead Men Don't Complain is the first-ever collection of short fiction by Peter Clines, author of 14, The Fold, and other Audible smash hits. Combining equal parts geekery and humor with the occasional dash of horror, Dead Men Don't Complain is ideal for Clines fans eagerly awaiting his next novel - or for brand-new listeners discovering this Audible favorite for the first time.

Five years ago, the US Space Force became a reality. And while those writing the checks took things very seriously, the other military branches did not. As a result, Space Force was populated by undesirables. My name is Captain Ethan Stone, a decorated member of SEAL Team Six turned Space Force "recruit". Flash forward five years and between tenses. President West is in office. Power has shifted. And Space Force is defunded. With just a handful of us still living on base, we find ourselves being evicted. But before all of us can leave, aliens invade.

After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.

You think you’re struggling to find your place in the universe? Consider poor old Colin Douglass, a terminally ill insurance agent who awakens from centuries in cryogenic freeze to find Earth is a devastated wasteland. Now, he’s being pursued by a homicidal interstellar tourist board, and calculating insurance dividends is as outdated as making stone axes. Sci-fi-hating technophobe Colin seeks a cure for his illness in this strange new galaxy where toilets talk back, and door handles are a long-forgotten relic.

After a rough break up, Wyatt moves to New York City, eager to prove himself while working on Wall Street. When he’s asked to visit the father of his ex-girlfriend, a billionaire tycoon, his fate is sealed. The revolutionary company, Nu-En, launches a radical innovation, an energy that will allow every person on the planet access to power. Only it doesn’t perform as anticipated. Harnessing the ocean has consequences, and highly dangerous creatures emerge from the depths. Soon, the Earth is fracturing, and the world will never be the same.

Hank is a thug. He knows he's a thug. He has no problem with that realization. In his view the galaxy has given him a gift: a mutation that allows him to withstand great deals of physical trauma. He puts his abilities to the best use possible and that isn't by being a scientist. Besides, the space station Belvaille doesn't need scientists. It is not, generally, a thinking person's locale. It is the remotest habitation in the entire Colmarian Confederation. There is literally no reason to be there.

Seconds before the Earth is demolished to make way for a galactic freeway, Arthur Dent is plucked off the planet by his friend Ford Prefect, a researcher for the revised edition of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy who, for the last 15 years, has been posing as an out-of-work actor.

It’s not easy making the career jump from office-supplies-store middle manager to heroic interdimensional adventurer. At least, Jason tries to be heroic, but it's hard to be good when all your powers are evil. He’ll face off against cannibals, cultists, wizards, monsters...and that’s just on the first day. He’s going to need courage, he’s going to need wit, and he’s going to need some magic powers of his own. But first, he’s going to need pants.

This is the story of Dan—a high school dropout who plays guitar in a heavy metal band and has a minimum wage job wearing a mouse costume. He's not exactly destined for great things. Then Dan wakes up in another world—a world where science never progressed past the Middle Ages, and the laws of physics have been replaced by role-playing game rules. Dan makes some mistakes—some big mistakes. Dan becomes a Death Knight: a walking personification of death and darkness. Now, Dan must fight monsters, zealots, and demons just to survive, and he must do it all alone.

There's a reason We Are Legion was named Audible's Best Science Fiction Book of 2016: Its irresistibly irreverent wit! Bob Johansson has just sold his software company for a small fortune and is looking forward to a life of leisure. The first item on his to-do list: Spending his newfound windfall. On an urge to splurge, he signs up to have his head cryogenically preserved in case of death. Then he gets himself killed crossing the street. Waking up 117 years later, Bob discovers his mind has been uploaded into a sentient space probe with the ability to replicate itself.

We were fighting on the wrong side of a war we couldn't win. And that was the good news. The Ruhar hit us on Columbus Day. There we were, innocently drifting along the cosmos on our little blue marble, like the native Americans in 1492. Over the horizon come ships of a technologically advanced, aggressive culture, and BAM! There go the good old days, when humans only got killed by each other. So, Columbus Day. It fits. When the morning sky twinkled again, this time with Kristang starships jumping in to hammer the Ruhar, we thought we were saved.