
Love in a F*cked-Up World
How to Build Relationships, Hook Up, and Raise Hell, Together
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Narrated by:
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Dean Spade
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By:
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Dean Spade
About this listen
In this inspiring self-help handbook, a trans activist dares us to be the change we want to see—both out in the world, and amongst our closest connections.
Lifelong activist and educator Dean Spade dares us to decide that our interpersonal actions are not separate from our politics of liberation and resistance. Many activist projects and resistance groups fall apart because people treat each other poorly, trying desperately to live out the cultural myths about dating and relationships that we are fed from an early age.
How do we divest from the idea that one romantic partner will be the solution to all our problems? How do we bring our best thinking about freedom and justice into step with our desires for healing and connection?
Love in a F*cked-Up World is a resounding call to action and a practical manifesto for how to combat cultural scripts and take our relationships into our own hands, preparing us for the work of changing the world.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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Critic reviews
"Compassionate, clarifying, and profoundly wise, Love in a F*cked Up World is radical leftist thought leader Dean Spade's latest gift to anyone interested in the intersection of love and justice... In this clear and highly practical book, Spade offers an enormously helpful map for creating relationships—whether friendly, sexual, and/or romantic—that feed and strengthen not only the individuals involved, but their communities and social commitments as well... This is the book I desperately needed when I first joined social justice movements as a teenager, and I am so very grateful that activists of all ages may read it now."—Kai Cheng Thom, author of Falling Back in Love with Being Human: Letters to Lost Souls
“Dean Spade has written a pragmatic, timely book to help us navigate our most intimate relationships with a collective mindset; release romance myths and approach love as a practice; and cultivate discernment and freedom where we are trained towards judgement and ownership. He teaches us with gentle, relatable clarity and questions that allow us to reflect on how we are loving each other in this f--ked up gorgeous world, and how to hold on to each other as the changes come.”—adrienne maree brown, author of Loving Corrections, Pleasure Activism, and Emergent Strategy
"Spade outlines how the systems we currently have in place are not set up to meet people’s needs—as we’ve seen highlighted by last year’s major global disruption."—Maria Ricapito, Marie Claire
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Hits all the genre tropes with flair and originality
- By Jannik Mennen on 01-12-25
By: Margaret Killjoy
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Let This Radicalize You
- Organizing and the Revolution of Reciprocal Care
- By: Kelly Hayes, Mariame Kaba
- Narrated by: Diana Blue
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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What fuels and sustains activism and organizing when it feels like our worlds are collapsing? Let This Radicalize You is a practical and imaginative resource for activists and organizers building power in an era of destabilization and catastrophe. Longtime organizers and movement educators Mariame Kaba and Kelly Hayes examine some of the political lessons of the COVID-19 pandemic and consider what this confluence of power can teach us about a future that will require mass acts of care, rescue, and defense, in the face of both state violence and environmental disaster.
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together, we fight back
- By Anonymous User on 05-10-24
By: Kelly Hayes, and others
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Never Chase Men Again
- 38 Dating Secrets to Get the Guy, Keep Him Interested, and Prevent Dead-End Relationships
- By: Bruce Bryans
- Narrated by: Dan Culhane
- Length: 2 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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If a man doesn't take you seriously, he may feel compelled to have a good time with you. Unfortunately this good time will last until you finally realize you're being taken for a ride or until Mr. Time Waster ultimately moves on to a woman he REALLY wants. In cases like this, what a woman really requires are two things: a healthy amount of self-respect and a set of "player-proof" dating rules that will allow her to make wise dating decisions.
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Definitely eyeopening
- By C.DUB on 09-04-15
By: Bruce Bryans
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Polysecure
- Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy
- By: Jessica Fern, Eve Rickert - foreword, Nora Samaran - foreword
- Narrated by: Jessica Fern, Eve Rickert, Nora Samaran
- Length: 7 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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A practical translation of the principles of attachment theory to nonmonogamous relationships.
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Learned si many things!!!
- By Matt on 06-13-25
By: Jessica Fern, and others
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Stag Dance
- A Novel & Stories
- By: Torrey Peters
- Narrated by: Lee Osorio, Briggon Snow, Eileen Noonan, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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In Stag Dance, the titular novel, a group of restless lumberjacks working in an illegal winter logging outfit plan a dance that some of them will volunteer to attend as women. When the broadest, strongest, plainest of the axmen announces his intention to dance as a woman, he finds himself caught in a strange rivalry with a pretty young jack, provoking a cascade of obsession, jealousy, and betrayal that will culminate on the big night in an astonishing vision of gender and transition.
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A Raw Look at the Trans (and Queer) Experience
- By Jessica on 06-10-25
By: Torrey Peters
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My Grandmother's Hands
- Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies
- By: Resmaa Menakem MSW LICSW SEP
- Narrated by: Cary Hite
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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In this groundbreaking book, therapist Resmaa Menakem examines the damage caused by racism in America from the perspective of trauma and body-centered psychology. My Grandmother's Hands is a call to action for all of us to recognize that racism is not only about the head but about the body, and introduces an alternative view of what we can do to grow beyond our entrenched racialized divide.
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Think You Don't Need This? Think Again, Please!
- By Carole T. on 03-27-21
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Between the World and Me
- By: Ta-Nehisi Coates
- Narrated by: Ta-Nehisi Coates
- Length: 3 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Americans have built an empire on the idea of “race”, a falsehood that damages us all but falls most heavily on the bodies of Black women and men - bodies exploited through slavery and segregation and, today, threatened, locked up, and murdered out of all proportion. What is it like to inhabit a Black body and find a way to live within it? And how can we all honestly reckon with this fraught history and free ourselves from its burden? Between the World and Me is Ta-Nehisi Coates’ attempt to answer these questions in a letter to his adolescent son.
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A Heartfelt Self-aware Literary Masterpiece
- By T Spencer on 07-30-15
By: Ta-Nehisi Coates
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Braiding Sweetgrass
- Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants
- By: Robin Wall Kimmerer
- Narrated by: Robin Wall Kimmerer
- Length: 16 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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As a botanist and professor of plant ecology, Robin Wall Kimmerer has spent a career learning how to ask questions of nature using the tools of science. As a Potawatomi woman, she learned from elders, family, and history that the Potawatomi, as well as a majority of other cultures indigenous to this land, consider plants and animals to be our oldest teachers.
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Finally, Words
- By Donovan P Malley on 06-30-19
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It Begins with You
- The 9 Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life
- By: Jillian Turecki
- Narrated by: Jillian Turecki
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Jillian Turecki’s holistic, compassionate, yet no-nonsense approach to love has attracted a devoted following of millions. In her highly anticipated debut book, she makes clear that if you want a meaningful relationship filled with connection, security, and intimacy, you have to look within. The common denominator in all your relationships is you. Drawing from decades of experience helping clients heal themselves and their relationships, It Begins with You introduces the 9 core truths we must accept in order to change our lives.
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shallow..
- By slc on 01-30-25
By: Jillian Turecki
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What My Bones Know
- A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma
- By: Stephanie Foo
- Narrated by: Stephanie Foo
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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By age thirty, Stephanie Foo was successful on paper: She had her dream job as an award-winning radio producer at This American Life and a loving boyfriend. But behind her office door, she was having panic attacks and sobbing at her desk every morning. After years of questioning what was wrong with herself, she was diagnosed with complex PTSD—a condition that occurs when trauma happens continuously, over the course of years.
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Complex PTSD from a patient's point of view!
- By Howard_a on 05-24-22
By: Stephanie Foo
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The Serviceberry
- By: Robin Wall Kimmerer
- Narrated by: Robin Wall Kimmerer
- Length: 1 hr and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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As Indigenous scientist and author of Braiding Sweetgrass Robin Wall Kimmerer harvests serviceberries alongside the birds, she considers the ethic of reciprocity that lies at the heart of the gift economy. How, she asks, can we learn from Indigenous wisdom and the plant world to reimagine what we value most? Our economy is rooted in scarcity, competition, and the hoarding of resources, and we have surrendered our values to a system that actively harms what we love. Meanwhile, the serviceberry’s relationship with the natural world is an embodiment of reciprocity.
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Engaging and optimistic
- By Steve on 12-18-24
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Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
- How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
- By: Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 6 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents' emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you'll learn how to create positive new relationships so you can build a better life.
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Astonishing information.
- By K J Sunflower on 07-20-16
very good!
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Great book
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Beautifully insightful 🫶🏼
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