Magical Thinking
True Stories
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Narrated by:
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Augusten Burroughs
About this listen
This book was written in an era before trigger warnings. Sensitive readers please proceed with caution. —Love, Augusten.
From the #1 bestselling author of Running with Scissors and Dry—a contagiously funny, heartwarming, shocking, twisted, and absolutely magical collection. True stories that give voice to the thoughts we all have but dare not mention. It begins with a Tang Instant Breakfast Drink television commercial when Augusten was seven. Then there is the contest of wills with the deranged cleaning lady. The execution of a rodent carried out with military precision and utter horror. Telemarketing revenge. Dating an undertaker. And much more. A collection of true stories that are universal in their appeal, yet unabashedly intimate and very funny.
A Macmillan Audio production from St. Martin's Press.
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-
Story
At the request (well, it wasn't really a request) of his employers, Augusten lands in rehab, where his dreams of group therapy with Robert Downey Jr. are immediately dashed by grim reality of fluorescent lighting and paper hospital slippers. When Augusten is forced to examine himself, he finds himself in the worst trouble of all. Because when his thirty days are up, he has to return to his same drunken Manhattan life - and live it sober. Dry is the story of love, loss, and Starbucks as a Higher Power
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Sobriety with a sense of style....
- By heidi on 09-28-03
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Lust & Wonder
- A Memoir
- By: Augusten Burroughs
- Narrated by: Augusten Burroughs
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the beloved #1 New York Times bestselling author comes an intimate look at the driving forces in one man’s life. With Augusten's unique and singular observations and his own unabashed way of detailing both the horrific and the humorous, Lust and Wonder is a hilariously frank audiobook memoir that his legions of fans have been waiting for. His story began in Running with Scissors, endured through Dry, and continues with this memoir, the capstone to the life of Augusten Burroughs.
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Relentlessly Tedious
- By River Holmes-miller on 03-31-16
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Sellevision
- By: Augusten Burroughs
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Welcome to the troubled world of Sellevision, America's premier retail broadcasting network. When Max Andrews, the much-loved and handsome (lonely and gay) host of "Slumber Sunday Sundown" accidentally exposes himself in front of twenty million kids and their parents during a "Toys for Tots" segment, Sellevision faces its first big scandal. As Max fails to find a job in television, another host, the popular and perky Peggy Jean Smythe is receiving sinister emails about her appearance from a stalker.
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A Peek behind the Scenes..
- By Nadine on 05-03-08
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Toil & Trouble
- A Memoir
- By: Augusten Burroughs
- Narrated by: Anne Bobby, Augusten Burroughs, Gabra Zackman, and others
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For as long as Augusten Burroughs could remember, he knew things he shouldn't have known. He manifested things that shouldn't have come to pass. And he told exactly no one about this, save one person: his mother. His mother reassured him that it was all perfectly normal, that he was descended from a long line of witches, going back to the days of the early American colonies. And that this family tree was filled with witches. It was a bond that he and his mother shared - until the day she left him in the care of her psychiatrist to be raised in his family.
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Slime Flux
- By Pamela Harvey on 10-16-19
-
This Is How
- Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike
- By: Augusten Burroughs
- Narrated by: Augusten Burroughs
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
To say that Augusten Burroughs has lived an unusual life is an understatement. From having no formal education past third grade and being raised by his mother’s psychiatrist in the seventies to enjoying one of the most successful advertising careers of the eighties to experiencing a spectacular downfall and rehab stint in the nineties to having a number one bestselling writing career in the new millennium, Burroughs has faced humiliation, transformation and everything in between.
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A Bold, Fresh Perspective In "Self-Help"
- By Private. on 05-15-12
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Running with Scissors
- A Memoir
- By: Augusten Burroughs
- Narrated by: Augusten Burroughs
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Running with Scissors is the true story of a boy whose mother (a poet with delusions of being Anne Sexton) gave him away to be raised by her psychiatrist, a dead ringer for Santa and a lunatic in the bargain.
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NOT what I was expecting
- By Art H on 04-25-03
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Dry
- A Memoir
- By: Augusten Burroughs
- Narrated by: Augusten Burroughs
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
At the request (well, it wasn't really a request) of his employers, Augusten lands in rehab, where his dreams of group therapy with Robert Downey Jr. are immediately dashed by grim reality of fluorescent lighting and paper hospital slippers. When Augusten is forced to examine himself, he finds himself in the worst trouble of all. Because when his thirty days are up, he has to return to his same drunken Manhattan life - and live it sober. Dry is the story of love, loss, and Starbucks as a Higher Power
-
-
Sobriety with a sense of style....
- By heidi on 09-28-03
-
Lust & Wonder
- A Memoir
- By: Augusten Burroughs
- Narrated by: Augusten Burroughs
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the beloved #1 New York Times bestselling author comes an intimate look at the driving forces in one man’s life. With Augusten's unique and singular observations and his own unabashed way of detailing both the horrific and the humorous, Lust and Wonder is a hilariously frank audiobook memoir that his legions of fans have been waiting for. His story began in Running with Scissors, endured through Dry, and continues with this memoir, the capstone to the life of Augusten Burroughs.
-
-
Relentlessly Tedious
- By River Holmes-miller on 03-31-16
-
Sellevision
- By: Augusten Burroughs
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Welcome to the troubled world of Sellevision, America's premier retail broadcasting network. When Max Andrews, the much-loved and handsome (lonely and gay) host of "Slumber Sunday Sundown" accidentally exposes himself in front of twenty million kids and their parents during a "Toys for Tots" segment, Sellevision faces its first big scandal. As Max fails to find a job in television, another host, the popular and perky Peggy Jean Smythe is receiving sinister emails about her appearance from a stalker.
-
-
A Peek behind the Scenes..
- By Nadine on 05-03-08
-
Toil & Trouble
- A Memoir
- By: Augusten Burroughs
- Narrated by: Anne Bobby, Augusten Burroughs, Gabra Zackman, and others
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For as long as Augusten Burroughs could remember, he knew things he shouldn't have known. He manifested things that shouldn't have come to pass. And he told exactly no one about this, save one person: his mother. His mother reassured him that it was all perfectly normal, that he was descended from a long line of witches, going back to the days of the early American colonies. And that this family tree was filled with witches. It was a bond that he and his mother shared - until the day she left him in the care of her psychiatrist to be raised in his family.
-
-
Slime Flux
- By Pamela Harvey on 10-16-19
-
This Is How
- Proven Aid in Overcoming Shyness, Molestation, Fatness, Spinsterhood, Grief, Disease, Lushery, Decrepitude & More. For Young and Old Alike
- By: Augusten Burroughs
- Narrated by: Augusten Burroughs
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
To say that Augusten Burroughs has lived an unusual life is an understatement. From having no formal education past third grade and being raised by his mother’s psychiatrist in the seventies to enjoying one of the most successful advertising careers of the eighties to experiencing a spectacular downfall and rehab stint in the nineties to having a number one bestselling writing career in the new millennium, Burroughs has faced humiliation, transformation and everything in between.
-
-
A Bold, Fresh Perspective In "Self-Help"
- By Private. on 05-15-12
-
Running with Scissors
- A Memoir
- By: Augusten Burroughs
- Narrated by: Augusten Burroughs
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Running with Scissors is the true story of a boy whose mother (a poet with delusions of being Anne Sexton) gave him away to be raised by her psychiatrist, a dead ringer for Santa and a lunatic in the bargain.
-
-
NOT what I was expecting
- By Art H on 04-25-03
-
Third Ear
- Reflections on the Art and Science of Listening
- By: Elizabeth Rosner
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Rosner
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
-
Story
This illuminating book weaves personal stories of a multilingual upbringing with the latest scientific breakthroughs in interspecies communication to show how the skill of deep listening enhances our curiosity and empathy toward the world around us.
By: Elizabeth Rosner
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The Suggestible Brain
- The Science and Magic of How We Make Up Our Minds
- By: Amir Raz PhD
- Narrated by: Byron Wagner, Amir Raz PhD
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In The Suggestible Brain, world-renowned expert on the science of suggestion Amir Raz, PhD, brings together cognitive aspects of psychology, sociology, and anthropology with issues in our contemporary culture and media alongside a series of case studies of patients with disorders ranging from Tourette’s syndrome to false pregnancies, lactose intolerance, and asthma to show exactly how suggestions can cut deep into our brains, shake our fundamental knowledge, and override our core human values.
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The power of suggestion
- By ExplrWrld on 10-10-24
By: Amir Raz PhD
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The F**k It! List
- By: Melanie Cantor
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 13 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For Daisy, life isn’t going…quite to plan. She’s just caught her boyfriend shagging someone else at her fortieth birthday party. She’s camped out in her childhood bedroom. And it looks as if her dream to have a baby has gone down the pan… Time for a F**k It! list? Join Daisy as she attempts to tick off each item on the list and take back control of her life, one ‘f**k it’ at a time, and ask yourself the question: what would be on your f**k it list?
By: Melanie Cantor
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The Myth That Made Us
- How False Beliefs About Racism and Meritocracy Broke Our Economy (and How to Fix It)
- By: Jeff Fuhrer
- Narrated by: Christopher Douyard
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The Myth That Made Us exposes how false narratives—of a supposedly post-racist nation, of the self-made man, of the primacy of profit- and shareholder value—maximizing for businesses, and of minimal government interference—have been used to excuse gross inequities and to shape and sustain the US economic system that delivers them. Jeff Fuhrer argues that systemic racism continues to produce vastly disparate outcomes and that our brand of capitalism favors doing little to reduce disparities.
By: Jeff Fuhrer
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Vigilante Nation
- How State-Sponsored Terror Threatens Our Democracy
- By: Jon Michaels, David Noll
- Narrated by: Eric Yang
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Time and again, when confronted with serious challenges to their power and privilege, white Christian nationalists seek solace—and satisfaction—in state-supported forms of vigilantism. Vigilante Nation tells this story of the American Right marginalizing, subordinating, and disenfranchising the increasingly diverse and cosmopolitan members of the American polity. This book exposes the vigilantes’ plans, explains their methods—everything from book bans to anti-abortion bounties to attacks on government proceedings, including elections—and underscores the stakes.
By: Jon Michaels, and others
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Around the World in 80 Trees
- By: Jonathan Drori, Lucille Clerc
- Narrated by: Tania Rodrigues
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Best-selling author and environmentalist Jonathan Drori follows in the footsteps of Phileas Fogg as he tells the stories of 80 magnificent trees from all over the globe. In Around the World in 80 Trees, Jonathan Drori uses plant science to illuminate how trees play a role in every part of human life, from the romantic to the regrettable. From the trees of Britain, to India's sacred banyan tree, they offer us sanctuary and inspiration - not to mention the raw materials for everything from aspirin to maple syrup.
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Beautiful interesting book
- By KCMC on 10-30-24
By: Jonathan Drori, and others
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The Question of Unworthy Life
- Eugenics and Germany’s Twentieth Century
- By: Dagmar Herzog
- Narrated by: Kaliswa Brewster
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Between 1939 and 1945, Nazi genocide claimed the lives of nearly three hundred thousand people diagnosed with psychiatric illness or cognitive deficiencies. Not until the 1980s would these murders, as well as the coercive sterilizations of some four hundred thousand others classified as “feeble-minded,” be officially acknowledged as crimes at all. The Question of Unworthy Life charts this history from its origins in prewar debates about the value of disabled lives to our continuing efforts to unlearn eugenic thinking today.
By: Dagmar Herzog
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Friendly Fire
- A Fractured Memoir
- By: Paul Rousseau
- Narrated by: Michael Crouch
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
At some point in the course of Paul and Mark’s friendship, Mark acquired—legally and with required permits—five firearms. Those weapons lived with them in their college apartment. It was a non-issue for the two best friends. They were inseparable. They were twenty-two-year-old boys at the height of their college experience, unaware that everything was about to change forever. The bullet ripped through two walls before it struck Paul’s skull.
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Moving & Inspirational Story of Survival
- By Amazon Customer on 09-22-24
By: Paul Rousseau
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The Day Without Yesterday
- Lemaître, Einstein and the Birth of Modern Cosmology
- By: John Farrell
- Narrated by: Celeste Oliva
- Length: 5 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Sometimes our understanding of our universe is given a huge boost by one insightful thinker. Such a boost came in the first half of the 20th century, when an obscure Belgian priest put his mind to deciphering the nature of the cosmos. The Day Without Yesterday covers the modern history of an evolving universe, and how Georges Lemaître convinced a generation of thinkers to embrace the notion of cosmic expansion and the theory that this expansion could be traced backward to the cosmic origins, a starting point for space and time that Lemaître called "the day without yesterday".
By: John Farrell
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Gaslit
- By: R.R. Haywood
- Narrated by: Gethin Anthony
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Disgraced former detective Mike Humber gets off a train in the bleak autumn countryside, his mind haunted by a dark past. A new job awaits. Huntington House needs a live-in security guard to prevent access during an inheritance dispute. This is exactly what Mike needs: a new start in a new place and a chance to turn things around. It all seems perfect, especially when he meets Tessa. But Huntington House holds dark secrets. Bumps in the night. Flickering lights. Music playing from somewhere.
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The storyline
- By Michael Garcia on 11-16-24
By: R.R. Haywood
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The Jamestown Brides
- By: Jennifer Potter
- Narrated by: Charlotte Strevens
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Jamestown, England's first real foothold in the New World, was fraught with danger - from starvation and disease to violent skirmishes between colonists and the native populations. Mortality rates were impossibly high: six out of seven settlers died within the first few years. How clear these and other perils were made to the 56 young women who left their homes and boarded ships in England in 1621, nearly 15 years after Jamestown's founding, is not known. But we do know who they were. Their ages ranged from 16 to 28, and they were deemed "young and uncorrupt".
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WOMEN IN HISTORY
- By Grams on 06-29-19
By: Jennifer Potter
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Feel, Heal & Let That Sh*t Go
- Your Guide to Emotional Resilience and Lasting Self-Love
- By: Rachel Kaplan
- Narrated by: Rachel Kaplan
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A psychotherapist and hit podcaster brings empathy and humor to her first book, a radical reimagining of the self-help genre that teaches listeners how to “process their emotional sh*t,” let it go, and enjoy the life they’re living.
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Deep, sweet, and sometimes silly take on healing and caring for your whole self
- By Tara C S on 11-04-24
By: Rachel Kaplan