March: A Tale of Salmon and Swedes
The Glothic Tales, Book 4
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Narrated by:
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Persephone Rose
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By:
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Derek Haines
About this listen
The very unexpected fourth book in The Glothic Tales Trilogy
"Quick March, the planet Earth needs to be saved!"
Not from alien attack, nuclear destruction, or even being hit by a misguided comet. No, Earth needs to be saved from making millions of years of painful losses for Gloth, and it falls to March Gregorian, eldest son and heir to February the Twenty-Ninth, the Supreme Potentate of the Twelve Sun Systems of Gloth, to find a way to finally make Earth profitable.
The obvious starting point in such a difficult assignment is, of course, to do some quick research and then ascertain the most lucrative tradable commodity a planet has to offer. Once that is clear, simply arrange to export a whole lot more of it and the problem is solved.
As March prepares to make his first journey to Earth, he is sure he knows which Earth product will solve the problem.
Salmon.
Unfortunately for March, all does not go well on the salmon front, and he discovers all too quickly that Earth is not an easy place to manage, understand, or to squeeze a profit from.
Faced with losing face with his father by returning to Gloth empty handed, March fears that his salmon failure may lead to serious doubts about his ability to remain heir to the Supreme Potentate.
Luckily, however, his fears of losing his right to the throne evaporate in a flash when he stumbles upon a remarkable alternative solution.
Swedes.
Don’t panic if you haven’t heard the first three Glothic Tales, as all is explained in March, so you won’t miss a trick.
Listen to March, the hum-along, foot-tapping, fourth hilarious Glothic Tale.
©2015 Derek Haines (P)2019 Wordwooze PublishingListeners also enjoyed...
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The Unincorporated Man
- By: Dani Kollin, Eytan Kollin
- Narrated by: Todd McLaren
- Length: 23 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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The Unincorporated Man is a provocative social/political/economic novel that takes place in the future, after civilization has fallen into complete economic collapse. This reborn civilization is one in which every individual is incorporated at birth and spends many years trying to attain control over his or her own life by getting a majority of his or her own shares. Life extension has made life very long indeed.
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Hmm
- By CB on 06-15-09
By: Dani Kollin, and others
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The Collapsing Empire
- The Interdependency, Book 1
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Our universe is ruled by physics, and faster-than-light travel is not possible - until the discovery of The Flow, an extradimensional field we can access at certain points in space-time that transports us to other worlds, around other stars. Humanity flows away from Earth, into space, and in time forgets our home world and creates a new empire, the Interdependency, whose ethos requires that no one human outpost can survive without the others. It's a hedge against interstellar war - and a system of control for the rulers of the empire.
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THE STUPIDITIES OF COURT
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 04-01-17
By: John Scalzi
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Gateway
- By: Frederik Pohl
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman, Robert J. Sawyer
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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When prospector Bob Broadhead went out to Gateway on the Heechee spacecraft, he decided he would know which was the right mission to make him his fortune. Three missions later, now famous and permanently rich, Robinette Broadhead has to face what happened to him and what he is...in a journey into himself as perilous and even more horrifying than the nightmare trip through the interstellar void that he drove himself to take!
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A human-focused SF classic
- By Ryan on 12-05-13
By: Frederik Pohl
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Manhattans and Murder
- The Murder, She Wrote Mysteries, Book 2
- By: Jessica Fletcher, Donald Bain
- Narrated by: Beth Porter
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Promoting her latest books brings best-selling mystery writer Jessica Fletcher to New York for Christmas. Her schedule includes book signings, chat-show appearances, department store shopping...and murder. But it all begins with a sidewalk Santa staring at Jessica with fear and recognition.
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A release of an older Donald Bain book in the series, thank goodness
- By Dorise on 02-01-19
By: Jessica Fletcher, and others
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Proof of Life
- Twenty Days on the Hunt for a Missing Person in the Middle East
- By: Daniel Levin
- Narrated by: Will Collyer
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Daniel Levin was at his office when he got a call from an acquaintance with an urgent, cryptic request to meet in Paris. A young man had gone missing in Syria. No government, embassy, or intelligence agency would help. Could he? Would he? So begins a suspenseful, shocking, and at times brutal true story of one man’s search to find a missing person in Syria over twenty tense days.
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Gripping and intriguing
- By Domenica Antonini on 11-10-24
By: Daniel Levin
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Beyond Kuiper
- The Galactic Star Alliance
- By: Matthew Medney, John Connelly
- Narrated by: Kyle Perrin, Dylan Sprouse, George C. Romero
- Length: 13 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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The Galactic Star Alliance has been alive and well for millions of Earth years. Hundreds of thousands of worlds and trillions of beings move across the many home worlds of the Alliance. This revelation invites many questions: How is faster-than-light speed travel possible, and could cohesive, interstellar civilizations exist without it? Is it conceivable to govern a coalition not of different countries but of different species?
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Dirstracting Sound effects.
- By adam on 11-12-20
By: Matthew Medney, and others
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Legacy
- Stellar Heritage, Book 1
- By: Bob Mauldin
- Narrated by: Mark Boyett
- Length: 19 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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When Simon and Katherine Hawke stumble upon an alien shuttle that has landed on earth, it’ll not only change the course of their lives, but of the entire world. Taking the shuttle into orbit, they discover a much larger ship left adrift with no one on board. Commandeering it, they confirm that we’re not alone in the universe and must prepare the human race for what is about to come. Recruiting from all over the world, they begin to expand their fleet and build a federation to give humans a foothold in the galaxy.
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Childish Writer Rant
- By Brutis on 10-25-20
By: Bob Mauldin
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The Good Liar
- A Novel
- By: Nicholas Searle
- Narrated by: Matthew Brenher
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Veteran con artist Roy spots an obvious easy mark when he meets Betty, a wealthy widow, online. In no time at all, he's moved into Betty's lovely cottage and is preparing to accompany her on a romantic trip to Europe. Betty's grandson disapproves of their blossoming relationship, but Roy is sure this scheme will be a success. He knows what he's doing. As this remarkable feat of storytelling weaves together Roy's and Betty's futures, it also unwinds their pasts.
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Hope the movie is better than the book?
- By S. Smith on 10-17-19
By: Nicholas Searle
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The Hercules Text
- By: Jack McDevitt
- Narrated by: Kevin T. Collins
- Length: 13 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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From a remote corner of the galaxy, a message is being sent. The continuous beats of a pulsar have become odd, irregular, and artificial. It can only be a code. Frantically, a research team struggles to decipher the alien communication. And what the scientists discover is destined to shake the foundations of empires around this world - from Wall Street to the Vatican.
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Lots to recommend here!
- By Matthew on 10-19-18
By: Jack McDevitt
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The Engines of God
- By: Jack McDevitt
- Narrated by: Tom Weiner
- Length: 14 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Humans call them Monument-Makers. An unknown race, they left stunning alien statues scattered on distant planets throughout the galaxy, encoded with strange inscriptions that defy translation. Searching for clues about the Monument-Makers, teams of 23rd century linguists, historians, engineers and archaeologists have been excavating the enigmatic alien ruins on a number of planets, uncovering strange, massive false cities made of solid rock. But their time is running out.
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Conceptually intriguing, but uneven writing style
- By Michael G Kurilla on 05-12-11
By: Jack McDevitt
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The Rolling Stones
- By: Robert A. Heinlein
- Narrated by: Tom Weiner
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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One of Heinlein's best-loved works, The Rolling Stones follows the rollicking adventures of the Stone family as they tour the solar system. It doesn't seem likely for twins to have the same middle name. Even so, it's clear that Castor and Pollux Stone both have "Trouble" written in that spot on their birth certificates. Of course, anyone who's met their grandmother Hazel would know they came by it honestly.
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Good story well told
- By Frank on 07-14-15
What listeners say about March: A Tale of Salmon and Swedes
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- R. Iverson
- 08-21-24
Interesting characters
Good narration and a Nice plot with Fun interactions. Imaginative story telling about intergalactic worlds and conflicts
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- Aaron & Klarissa
- 10-20-24
Not bad
This story was not that bad. I found that it was an alien got to visit Earth for the first time. I liked the part about visiting the Vatican was good.
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- Diane Reynolds
- 04-11-21
Entertaining installment
This is a funny follow up to the earlier works. However I didn’t find it as engrossing or action packed. It’s a nice story in line with the humor but missing the plot, action and backstory of some of the other books. Overall a good one if you’re into the series, but not the first book to pick up from it.
I received this book for free in exchange for a review. (I think... although I might have got it on sale... I lose track!)
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