
Nothing Personal
My Secret Life in the Dating App Inferno
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $24.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Therese Plummer
-
By:
-
Nancy Jo Sales
About this listen
A raw and funny memoir about sex, dating, and relationships in the digital age, intertwined with a brilliant investigation into the challenges to love and intimacy wrought by dating apps, by firebrand New York Times best-selling author Nancy Jo Sales
At 49, famed Vanity Fair writer Nancy Jo Sales was nursing a broken heart and wondering, “How did I wind up alone?” On the advice of a young friend, she downloaded Tinder, then a brand-new dating app. What followed was a raucous ride through the world of online dating. Sales, an award-winning journalist and single mom, became a leading critic of the online dating industry, reporting and writing articles and making her directorial debut with the HBO documentary Swiped: Hooking Up in the Digital Age. Meanwhile, she was dating a series of younger men, eventually falling in love with a man less than half her age.
Nothing Personal is Sales’ memoir of coming-of-middle-age in the midst of a new dating revolution. She is unsparingly honest about her own experience of addiction to dating apps and hilarious in her musings about dick pics, sexting, dating FOMO, and more. Does Big Dating really want us to find love, she asks, or just keep on using its apps?
Fiercely feminist, Nothing Personal investigates how Big Dating has overwhelmed the landscape of dating, cynically profiting off its users’ deepest needs and desires. Looking back through the history of modern courtship and her own relationships, Sales examines how sexism has always been a factor for women in dating, and asks what the future of courtship will bring, if left to the designs of Silicon Valley’s tech giants - especially in a time of social distancing and a global pandemic, when the rules of romance are once again changing.
©2021 Nancy Jo Sales (P)2021 Hachette AudioListeners also enjoyed...
-
Available
- A Very Honest Account of Life After Divorce
- By: Laura Friedman Williams
- Narrated by: Laura Friedman Williams
- Length: 11 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When her 22-year-marriage suddenly ended, 47-year-old mother of three Laura expected life as she knew it to be over. From G-spots to bald spots, dirty talk to dating fiascos, Available is the unflinchingly honest, empowering and humorous true story of one woman’s love life after divorce.
-
-
Perfect
- By Di on 06-13-21
-
American Girls
- Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers
- By: Nancy Jo Sales
- Narrated by: Thérèse Plummer, Nancy Jo Sales
- Length: 14 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Instagram. Whisper. Yik Yak. Vine. YouTube. Kik. Ask.fm. Tinder. The dominant force in the lives of girls coming of age in America today is social media. What it is doing to an entire generation of young women is the subject of award-winning Vanity Fair writer Nancy Jo Sales' riveting and explosive American Girls.
-
-
Unimaginative Narrator; Alarmist Writing Style
- By L. Kirkwood on 03-09-16
By: Nancy Jo Sales
-
Platonic
- How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends
- By: Marisa G. Franco PhD
- Narrated by: Marisa G. Franco PhD
- Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
How do we make and keep friends in an era of distraction, burnout, and chaos, especially in a society that often prizes romantic love at the expense of other relationships? In Platonic, Dr. Marisa G. Franco unpacks the latest, often counterintuitive findings about the bonds between us—for example, why your friends aren’t texting you back (it’s not because they hate you!), and the myth of “friendships happening organically” (making friends, like cultivating any relationship, requires effort!).
-
-
Too much and yet, not enough
- By Kali on 04-05-23
-
A Single Revolution
- Don't Look for a Match. Light One.
- By: Shani Silver
- Narrated by: Cherise Boothe, Shani Silver
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A Single Revolution is one book for single women that won’t approach you like you’re unfinished. It’s for those who are exhausted, frustrated, confused, or angry - who want relationships but don’t deserve to be miserable in the meantime. You can be happily single and still meet someone. It’s possible to value your single time so much that you refuse to give it up for anything less than the amazing relationships you deserve. It’s also possible to stop searching for them so relentlessly that you ignore every other aspect of your life.
-
-
All good reminders
- By Jackson's Mom on 10-25-24
By: Shani Silver
-
The Shift
- Change Your Perspective, Not Yourself
- By: Tinx
- Narrated by: Tinx
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s time to get laser-focused on what makes us feel happy and fulfilled. Tinx wants to take your hand and guide you to a new way of thinking about life, love, happiness, and friendships—where dating evolves into an era of self-discovery and not just a means to an end, sharing wisdom becomes a collective power, and chaos turns into a source of creativity. Making small but mighty shifts in thinking can be a tool for personal growth that fuels you instead of fatigues you. The point is to know yourself, discover what fulfills you, and have fun along the way.
-
-
Beautiful, funny, insightful all at the same time
- By Katlynn on 05-24-23
By: Tinx
-
Eat, Pray, #FML
- By: Gabrielle Stone
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Stone
- Length: 9 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A year and a half into our marriage, I found out my husband had been having an affair with a 19-year-old for six months. I filed for divorce and left. Two weeks later I met a man, and we fell madly in love. It was a fairy-tale romance for a month and a half, and he convinced me to join him on a romantic month-long vacation in Italy. Forty-eight hours before we were supposed to get on a plane, he told me he needed to go by himself. I was devastated. So, I had a decision to make. Either stay home and be heartbroken, or go travel Europe for a month by myself.
-
-
Horrible
- By Jennifer on 02-26-20
By: Gabrielle Stone
-
Available
- A Very Honest Account of Life After Divorce
- By: Laura Friedman Williams
- Narrated by: Laura Friedman Williams
- Length: 11 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When her 22-year-marriage suddenly ended, 47-year-old mother of three Laura expected life as she knew it to be over. From G-spots to bald spots, dirty talk to dating fiascos, Available is the unflinchingly honest, empowering and humorous true story of one woman’s love life after divorce.
-
-
Perfect
- By Di on 06-13-21
-
American Girls
- Social Media and the Secret Lives of Teenagers
- By: Nancy Jo Sales
- Narrated by: Thérèse Plummer, Nancy Jo Sales
- Length: 14 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Instagram. Whisper. Yik Yak. Vine. YouTube. Kik. Ask.fm. Tinder. The dominant force in the lives of girls coming of age in America today is social media. What it is doing to an entire generation of young women is the subject of award-winning Vanity Fair writer Nancy Jo Sales' riveting and explosive American Girls.
-
-
Unimaginative Narrator; Alarmist Writing Style
- By L. Kirkwood on 03-09-16
By: Nancy Jo Sales
-
Platonic
- How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends
- By: Marisa G. Franco PhD
- Narrated by: Marisa G. Franco PhD
- Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
How do we make and keep friends in an era of distraction, burnout, and chaos, especially in a society that often prizes romantic love at the expense of other relationships? In Platonic, Dr. Marisa G. Franco unpacks the latest, often counterintuitive findings about the bonds between us—for example, why your friends aren’t texting you back (it’s not because they hate you!), and the myth of “friendships happening organically” (making friends, like cultivating any relationship, requires effort!).
-
-
Too much and yet, not enough
- By Kali on 04-05-23
-
A Single Revolution
- Don't Look for a Match. Light One.
- By: Shani Silver
- Narrated by: Cherise Boothe, Shani Silver
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A Single Revolution is one book for single women that won’t approach you like you’re unfinished. It’s for those who are exhausted, frustrated, confused, or angry - who want relationships but don’t deserve to be miserable in the meantime. You can be happily single and still meet someone. It’s possible to value your single time so much that you refuse to give it up for anything less than the amazing relationships you deserve. It’s also possible to stop searching for them so relentlessly that you ignore every other aspect of your life.
-
-
All good reminders
- By Jackson's Mom on 10-25-24
By: Shani Silver
-
The Shift
- Change Your Perspective, Not Yourself
- By: Tinx
- Narrated by: Tinx
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s time to get laser-focused on what makes us feel happy and fulfilled. Tinx wants to take your hand and guide you to a new way of thinking about life, love, happiness, and friendships—where dating evolves into an era of self-discovery and not just a means to an end, sharing wisdom becomes a collective power, and chaos turns into a source of creativity. Making small but mighty shifts in thinking can be a tool for personal growth that fuels you instead of fatigues you. The point is to know yourself, discover what fulfills you, and have fun along the way.
-
-
Beautiful, funny, insightful all at the same time
- By Katlynn on 05-24-23
By: Tinx
-
Eat, Pray, #FML
- By: Gabrielle Stone
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Stone
- Length: 9 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A year and a half into our marriage, I found out my husband had been having an affair with a 19-year-old for six months. I filed for divorce and left. Two weeks later I met a man, and we fell madly in love. It was a fairy-tale romance for a month and a half, and he convinced me to join him on a romantic month-long vacation in Italy. Forty-eight hours before we were supposed to get on a plane, he told me he needed to go by himself. I was devastated. So, I had a decision to make. Either stay home and be heartbroken, or go travel Europe for a month by myself.
-
-
Horrible
- By Jennifer on 02-26-20
By: Gabrielle Stone
-
Love After 50
- How to Find It, Enjoy It, and Keep It
- By: Francine Russo
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Studies keep showing that love after 50 is more satisfying than at any other stage in life, and it makes sense: At this stage, you are more emotionally stable and more focused on the present; you know what you absolutely have to have, but also what you can live without; partnering is no longer about building family and fortune — it’s about sharing intimacy as grounded individuals. And sex isn’t pass/fail anymore, but about becoming erotic friends.
-
-
very encouraging and practical.
- By Amazon Customer on 07-31-21
By: Francine Russo
-
How to Not Die Alone
- The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love
- By: Logan Ury
- Narrated by: Logan Ury
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Have you ever looked around and wondered, “Why has everyone found love except me?” You’re not the only one. Great relationships don’t just appear in our lives - they’re the culmination of a series of decisions, including whom to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one. But our brains often get in the way. We make poor decisions, which thwart us on our quest to find lasting love.
-
-
Not a good buy
- By Brandon Prescott on 02-10-21
By: Logan Ury
-
Stash
- My Life in Hiding
- By: Laura Cathcart Robbins
- Narrated by: Laura Cathcart Robbins
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After years of hiding her addiction from everyone—stockpiling pills in her Louboutins and elaborately scheduling her withdrawals between PTA meetings, baby showers, and tennis matches—Laura Cathcart Robbins is running out of places to hide. She has learned the hard way that even her high-profile marriage and Hollywood lifestyle can’t protect her from the pain she’s keeping bottled up inside. Facing divorce, the possibility of a custody battle, and the insistent voice of internalized racism that nags at her as a Black woman in a white world, Laura wonders just how much more she can take.
-
-
Best Mom/wife alcoholism memoir I’ve read
- By Allison M. Billet on 04-06-23
-
Single on Purpose
- Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First.
- By: John Kim
- Narrated by: John Kim
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The author of I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck, The Angry Therapist, now teaches you how to prioritize your relationship with yourself and live a more meaningful life, whether you’re alone, dating, or with a partner. Single. On Purpose. is for people who have never been involved, people who have jumped from partner to partner, and those who have lost themselves in their current relationship - anyone who needs to learn that there’s more to life than who we choose to love.
-
-
Relationship junky!
- By Emily Braun on 01-27-21
By: John Kim
-
The Game
- Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
- By: Neil Strauss
- Narrated by: Neil Strauss
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hidden somewhere, in nearly every major city in the world, is an underground seduction lair. And in these lairs, men trade the most devastatingly effective techniques ever invented to charm women. This is not fiction. These men really exist. They live together in houses known as Projects. And Neil Strauss, the best-selling author, spent two years living among them, using the pseudonym Style to protect his real-life identity. The result is one of the most explosive and controversial books of the year.
-
-
Won't up your Game, but better than reality TV
- By David on 06-07-15
By: Neil Strauss
-
Everything I Know About Love
- A Memoir
- By: Dolly Alderton
- Narrated by: Dolly Alderton
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The wildly funny, occasionally heart-breaking internationally best-selling memoir about growing up, growing older, and learning to navigate friendships, jobs, loss, and love along the ride. When it comes to the trials and triumphs of becoming an adult, journalist and former Sunday Times columnist Dolly Alderton has seen and tried it all.
-
-
Loved it
- By Jessica on 04-02-20
By: Dolly Alderton
-
Oscar Wars
- A History of Hollywood in Gold, Sweat, and Tears
- By: Michael Schulman
- Narrated by: Charlie Thurston
- Length: 21 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Oscar Wars, Michael Schulman chronicles the remarkable, sprawling history of the Academy Awards and the personal dramas—some iconic, others never-before-revealed—that have played out on the stage and off camera. Unlike other books on the subject, each chapter takes a deep dive into a particular year, conflict, or even category that tells a larger story of cultural change, from Louis B. Mayer to Moonlight. Schulman examines how the red carpet runs through contested turf, and the victors aren't always as clear as the names drawn from envelopes.
-
-
Fascinating and FUN
- By Peter Riley on 06-11-23
By: Michael Schulman
-
Idiot
- Essays
- By: Laura Clery
- Narrated by: Laura Clery
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From YouTube star and Facebook Video sensation Laura Clery comes a collection of comedic essays in the vein of We Are Never Meeting in Real Life by Samantha Irby and You’ll Grow Out of It by Jessi Klein.
-
-
So bad
- By bonkers on 02-05-20
By: Laura Clery
-
All the Single Ladies
- Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation
- By: Rebecca Traister
- Narrated by: Candace Thaxton, Rebecca Traister - introduction
- Length: 11 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a provocative, groundbreaking work, National Magazine Award finalist Rebecca Traister, "the most brilliant voice on feminism in this country" (Anne Lamott), traces the history of unmarried women in America who, through social, political, and economic means, have radically shaped our nation.
-
-
Excellent book, destroyed by narration
- By Theresa Holleran on 03-06-16
By: Rebecca Traister
-
What Makes a Marriage Last
- 40 Celebrated Couples Share with Us the Secrets to a Happy Life
- By: Marlo Thomas, Phil Donahue
- Narrated by: Marlo Thomas, Phil Donahue, Tom Zingarelli, and others
- Length: 19 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Marlo and Phil are a beloved couple who have been married for 40 years, yet have rarely spoken publicly about their relationship, and have never written a book together. Now, for the first time, they also include the secrets to what has kept their own marriage alive and loving. Inspiring and insightful, What Makes a Marriage Last offers practical and hard-won wisdom for couples of all ages. Learn about soul-deep passion from Sting and Trudy Styler and how Billy and Janice Crystal keep the love and laughter alive.
-
-
Why Did They Do That?
- By B. D. on 07-16-20
By: Marlo Thomas, and others
-
I'm Fine...and Other Lies
- By: Whitney Cummings
- Narrated by: Whitney Cummings
- Length: 9 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A hilarious and emotional personal account of the life, times, mistakes, and crippling codependence of comedian, producer, director, actress, and writer Whitney Cummings. Full of intellect, pathos, and profundity, I'm Fine...and Other Lies is, in Whitney's words, her first book, which means her last date. With her signature incendiary edge and self-deprecation, Whitney comes clean about what has shaped her into the trailblazing comic that she is today.
-
-
I've been waiting for this woman to write a book!
- By Giggle Pants on 10-09-17
By: Whitney Cummings
-
The Rational Male - The Players Handbook
- A Red Pill Guide to Game
- By: Rollo Tomassi
- Narrated by: Trey Radel
- Length: 12 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this final master-work of The Rational Male series, Rollo Tomassi breaks down the fundamental mechanics of Game, intersexual social skills, and the nuts and bolts psychology that makes it work. The Players Handbook is not a "how-to" book, it's a "why-it-works" book. It’s not an instruction manual—it is the missing textbook on Game and understanding intersexual dynamics. Game is an adaptive set of social skills and best practices in navigating intersexual dynamics in a modern sexual marketplace.
-
-
poorly edited
- By Ethan T on 07-24-22
By: Rollo Tomassi
Critic reviews
“In this warm, witty, and rigorously honest memoir, a Confessions of an English Opium-Eater-type exposé on dating apps… Against all odds, this unsparing, must-read portrait of modern dating and sex is also a love story.” (Kirkus)
“For those of us questioning what courtship even means in the age of dating apps, Nancy Jo Sales is a guide and a much-needed voice of reason who has swiped, sexted, and survived. Nothing Personal will be remembered for translating the world of 21st century sex and romance.” (Marisa Meltzer, author of This Is Big)
“Nancy Jo Sales is officially the world expert of dating apps. For years, she’s been a rare voice exposing the underbelly of hookup tech. The retaliation by Tinder to her earlier work didn’t stop her from penetrating the industry harder. Now, she’s reincarnated as a user taking us on the harrowing journey of her own hookups while telling us the ugly truth about the misogyny these companies perpetuate.” (Carrie Goldberg, author of Nobody’s Victim)
What listeners say about Nothing Personal
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Daniela V.
- 05-26-21
Nancy Jo Sales is the leading voice in the issues with online dating
I’ve been hooked with the author’s take on dating since a famous article by her a long time ago, was a big fan of her HBO doc and now just finished this book, the level of insight and analysis on this incredibly new phenomena (at least compared to our 10s of thousands of years mating in person) is on point and ahead of its time. We’ll look back to this in a few decades when we ask ourselves what went wrong?
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Susana Silkwood
- 04-21-22
Courageous, warm, vulnerable
As a woman in her 50s who has been through this grinder, her humor and pathos resonate tunefully through me. ♥️
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Susan Freddie
- 11-10-22
Pretty Personal!
The vulnerability and honesty in this book are astounding. As a single woman of 58 who never married and has had her share of relationships, I heard a voice that is so rarely heard in this agest society. It was empowering to hear from an independent, older (yes, I said older because it's an honor and not something to be ashamed of!) woman navigating what was a "new" dating tool and with no apologies for her sexual appetite, because, frankly this is STILL an issue in our society today. Ugh.
Sales is a wonderful storyteller and journalist. Offering data, research, and her own experiences as a foundation for her conclusions about the societal repercussions of dating apps in general and this inspires trust in her writing. I enjoyed this book very much. Thank you Nancy Jo Sales!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- colprubin
- 07-10-21
Mixed Feelings
I have a lot of mixed feelings about this book because it is itself filled with contradictions. On the one hand, it's a look at the world at online dating that, among other things, details the exploitation of women. On the other hand, it's written by a middle aged woman who used these apps to engage in very risky sexual trysts. And how do we understand these trysts? As a form of female independence when so many times women get hurt emotionally and physically from them? Also, the book is shockingly frank in that Sales reveals all the details of her one night stands with a multitude of young men. On the other hand, she never explores why she isn't interested in using online dating to look for a serious and more mature relationship which so many middle aged women have found using them. Overall, I found myself entertained by her stories but also rather annoyed that such an intelligent woman couldn't do better.
The narrator was fine but I found her southern accent for one of the main male characters annoying and demeaning since there was no indication he was from the south
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- J. PARKER
- 01-20-22
Salacious, statistical, psychosexual, sad
This memoir is a brave piece that left me feeling sad. The author writes clearly and well, and is obviously highly intelligent. Her descriptions of the workings of dating apps and their societal implications was eye-opening and at times, shocking. She addresses the topic from both a macro and micro view, and ties it together with occasional statistics.
The book is a little uneven at times, jumping back and forth through her life, with the main thread being her relationship with a much younger man. What struck me was her wish to "date" men half her age, having apparently given up on finding anyone who is age-appropriate. Anger about her prior failed relationships and men in general bubbles up at times, and I am left concluding that her attempts to find a relationship with a much younger man is a defense against being rejected by more appropriate men. She describes many of her hook-ups with disdain, and it becomes clear that these "relationships" cannot provide her with what she really wants: someone to love and care about her. Even her main target, Abel, can do little more for her than lie in bed with her, "take me from behind," and have the trappings of intimacy without any real connection.
Still, the memoir is a nice piece on the pros and cons (mostly cons) of the world of internet dating, how it works, and the substantial negative effects on relationships that result from the use of dating apps.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- D. Houghton
- 12-05-23
A Long Rant
I was hoping for a more balanced and complete story and review of life in the dating app world. Instead, this story is mostly about the bad dudes and downsides of dating apps. Now, that is an important aspect for everyone, to be aware of, but there is more to the story than that.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!