Nothing Personal
My Secret Life in the Dating App Inferno
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Narrated by:
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Therese Plummer
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By:
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Nancy Jo Sales
About this listen
A raw and funny memoir about sex, dating, and relationships in the digital age, intertwined with a brilliant investigation into the challenges to love and intimacy wrought by dating apps, by firebrand New York Times best-selling author Nancy Jo Sales
At 49, famed Vanity Fair writer Nancy Jo Sales was nursing a broken heart and wondering, “How did I wind up alone?” On the advice of a young friend, she downloaded Tinder, then a brand-new dating app. What followed was a raucous ride through the world of online dating. Sales, an award-winning journalist and single mom, became a leading critic of the online dating industry, reporting and writing articles and making her directorial debut with the HBO documentary Swiped: Hooking Up in the Digital Age. Meanwhile, she was dating a series of younger men, eventually falling in love with a man less than half her age.
Nothing Personal is Sales’ memoir of coming-of-middle-age in the midst of a new dating revolution. She is unsparingly honest about her own experience of addiction to dating apps and hilarious in her musings about dick pics, sexting, dating FOMO, and more. Does Big Dating really want us to find love, she asks, or just keep on using its apps?
Fiercely feminist, Nothing Personal investigates how Big Dating has overwhelmed the landscape of dating, cynically profiting off its users’ deepest needs and desires. Looking back through the history of modern courtship and her own relationships, Sales examines how sexism has always been a factor for women in dating, and asks what the future of courtship will bring, if left to the designs of Silicon Valley’s tech giants - especially in a time of social distancing and a global pandemic, when the rules of romance are once again changing.
©2021 Nancy Jo Sales (P)2021 Hachette AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“In this warm, witty, and rigorously honest memoir, a Confessions of an English Opium-Eater-type exposé on dating apps… Against all odds, this unsparing, must-read portrait of modern dating and sex is also a love story.” (Kirkus)
“For those of us questioning what courtship even means in the age of dating apps, Nancy Jo Sales is a guide and a much-needed voice of reason who has swiped, sexted, and survived. Nothing Personal will be remembered for translating the world of 21st century sex and romance.” (Marisa Meltzer, author of This Is Big)
“Nancy Jo Sales is officially the world expert of dating apps. For years, she’s been a rare voice exposing the underbelly of hookup tech. The retaliation by Tinder to her earlier work didn’t stop her from penetrating the industry harder. Now, she’s reincarnated as a user taking us on the harrowing journey of her own hookups while telling us the ugly truth about the misogyny these companies perpetuate.” (Carrie Goldberg, author of Nobody’s Victim)
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Something in the music spoke to me...
- By Tina G. on 09-30-19
By: Sophia Chang
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Dying of Politeness
- A Memoir
- By: Geena Davis
- Narrated by: Geena Davis
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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From two-time Academy Award winner and screen icon Geena Davis, the surprising tale of her “journey to badassery”—from her epically polite childhood to roles that loaned her the strength to become a powerhouse in Hollywood.
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so perfect
- By Kimber on 10-16-22
By: Geena Davis
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Modern Romance
- An Investigation
- By: Aziz Ansari, Eric Klinenberg
- Narrated by: Aziz Ansari, Eric Klinenberg
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?
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Entertaining and informative
- By ty on 08-23-15
By: Aziz Ansari, and others
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Inside Out
- A Memoir
- By: Demi Moore
- Narrated by: Demi Moore
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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For decades, Demi Moore has been synonymous with celebrity. From iconic film roles to high-profile relationships, Moore has never been far from the spotlight - or the headlines. Even as Demi was becoming the highest paid actress in Hollywood, however, she was always outrunning her past. Throughout her rise to fame and during some of the most pivotal moments of her life, Demi battled addiction, body image issues, and childhood trauma that would follow her for years - all while juggling a skyrocketing career and at times negative public perception.
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I loved this Memoir
- By mrsbee19 on 09-25-19
By: Demi Moore
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The Education of Nia Simone Bijou
- By: Eric Jerome Dickey
- Narrated by: Honey Jones
- Length: 3 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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From her first days at Virginia’s Hampton University, impressionable, creative Nia falls smitten with Chris Eidos Alleyne, an athlete and a scholar. “Love is sweet nothings and beautiful promises”, Nia writes in her journal. What her girlfriends know, and her mother doesn’t, is that Chris’s expression of love is deeply physical. Wielding powerful charisma, Chris soon has Nia abandoning innocence for experience.
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worst narration ever
- By Dawn D. on 02-13-20
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The Art of the Pimp
- One Man's Search for Love, Sex, and Money
- By: Dennis Hof
- Narrated by: Kevin Stillwell
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Dennis Hof, proprietor of the world-famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel and the P.T. Barnum of prostitution, charts his path to fame and infamy, while dispensing homespun wisdom about sex, sales, money, and how to live as the country's most recognizable pimp. In The Art of the Pimp, Dennis Hof offers a hilarious, insightful, behind-the-scenes look at life as the proprietor of The Moonlight Bunny Ranch, the world's most famous legal brothel, and recounts his chaotic life.
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if you love the sex industry then yell love this
- By Amazon Customer on 11-28-17
By: Dennis Hof
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A Very Punchable Face
- A Memoir
- By: Colin Jost
- Narrated by: Colin Jost
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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If there’s one trait that makes someone well-suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch - metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy - with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
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Amazing
- By Erin E. Kace on 07-27-20
By: Colin Jost
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It Had to Be You
- A Novel
- By: Georgia Clark
- Narrated by: Danny Campbell, Feodor Chin, Frankie Corzo, and others
- Length: 13 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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For the past 20 years, Liv and Eliot Goldenhorn have run In Love in New York, Brooklyn’s beloved wedding-planning business. When Eliot dies unexpectedly, he even more unexpectedly leaves half of the business to his younger, blonder girlfriend, Savannah. Liv and Savannah are not a match made in heaven, to say the least. But what starts as a personal and professional nightmare transforms into something even savvy, cynical Liv Goldenhorn couldn’t begin to imagine.
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Distractingly bad narration
- By maggie walsh on 05-12-21
By: Georgia Clark
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City of Girls
- A Novel
- By: Elizabeth Gilbert
- Narrated by: Blair Brown
- Length: 15 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Beloved author Elizabeth Gilbert returns to fiction with a unique love story set in the New York City theater world during the 1940s. Told from the perspective of an older woman as she looks back on her youth with both pleasure and regret (but mostly pleasure), City of Girls explores themes of female sexuality and promiscuity, as well as the idiosyncrasies of true love. In 1940, nineteen-year-old Vivian Morris has just been kicked out of Vassar College, owing to her lackluster freshman-year performance.
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A strong story
- By Anita Kristensen on 06-08-19
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He's a Stud, She's a Slut, and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know
- By: Jessica Valenti
- Narrated by: Julie McKay
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Double standards are nothing new. Women deal with them every day. Take the common truism that women who sleep around are sluts while men are studs. Why is it that men grow distinguished and sexily gray as they age while women just get saggy and haggard? Have you ever wondered how a young woman is supposed to both virginal and provocatively enticing at the same time?
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A well acted intro to feminist consciousness
- By Amazon Customer on 02-28-24
By: Jessica Valenti
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Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
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Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
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Sweet Tea
- Black Gay Men of the South
- By: E. Patrick Johnson
- Narrated by: E. Patrick Johnson
- Length: 26 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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A pioneer of LGBTQ studies dares to suggest that gayness is a way of being that gay men must learn from one another to become who they are. The genius of gay culture resides in some of its most despised stereotypes - aestheticism, snobbery, melodrama, glamour, caricatures of women, and obsession with mothers - and in the social meaning of style.
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Very insightful book.
- By Greg on 11-18-18
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This Is Not a Fashion Story
- Taking Chances, Breaking Rules, and Being a Boss in the Big City
- By: Danielle Bernstein
- Narrated by: Danielle Bernstein
- Length: 4 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Danielle Bernstein spent her youth shopping at discount department stores, getting boozy in suburban backyards, and proposing marriage to every boy she dated. By age 19, she was a college dropout living in a West Village shoebox with three roommates and only six months to prove that her blog, @WeWoreWhat, could become a full blown career...or else board the train back to her mom's house. This Is Not a Fashion Story is the down and dirty tale of how a Long Island-born teenager became one of the most recognizable names in fashion.
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Waste of time
- By Leena on 05-18-20
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Funny How It Works Out
- By: Manon Mathews
- Narrated by: Manon Mathews
- Length: 6 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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For comedian and content creator Manon Mathews, comedy is life. But it took more than luck for her hilarious antics on Vine to open the door to her career. It took years of routinely embarrassing herself, improv classes, some stints as an amateur stand-up comic, unrelenting dedication, and one life-altering night out that forced her to change her ways. This set her on the path to manifesting her dream life.
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Excellent book!
- By cinematicashley on 11-18-20
By: Manon Mathews
What listeners say about Nothing Personal
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Daniela V.
- 05-26-21
Nancy Jo Sales is the leading voice in the issues with online dating
I’ve been hooked with the author’s take on dating since a famous article by her a long time ago, was a big fan of her HBO doc and now just finished this book, the level of insight and analysis on this incredibly new phenomena (at least compared to our 10s of thousands of years mating in person) is on point and ahead of its time. We’ll look back to this in a few decades when we ask ourselves what went wrong?
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2 people found this helpful
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- Susana Silkwood
- 04-21-22
Courageous, warm, vulnerable
As a woman in her 50s who has been through this grinder, her humor and pathos resonate tunefully through me. ♥️
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- Susan Freddie
- 11-10-22
Pretty Personal!
The vulnerability and honesty in this book are astounding. As a single woman of 58 who never married and has had her share of relationships, I heard a voice that is so rarely heard in this agest society. It was empowering to hear from an independent, older (yes, I said older because it's an honor and not something to be ashamed of!) woman navigating what was a "new" dating tool and with no apologies for her sexual appetite, because, frankly this is STILL an issue in our society today. Ugh.
Sales is a wonderful storyteller and journalist. Offering data, research, and her own experiences as a foundation for her conclusions about the societal repercussions of dating apps in general and this inspires trust in her writing. I enjoyed this book very much. Thank you Nancy Jo Sales!
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- colprubin
- 07-10-21
Mixed Feelings
I have a lot of mixed feelings about this book because it is itself filled with contradictions. On the one hand, it's a look at the world at online dating that, among other things, details the exploitation of women. On the other hand, it's written by a middle aged woman who used these apps to engage in very risky sexual trysts. And how do we understand these trysts? As a form of female independence when so many times women get hurt emotionally and physically from them? Also, the book is shockingly frank in that Sales reveals all the details of her one night stands with a multitude of young men. On the other hand, she never explores why she isn't interested in using online dating to look for a serious and more mature relationship which so many middle aged women have found using them. Overall, I found myself entertained by her stories but also rather annoyed that such an intelligent woman couldn't do better.
The narrator was fine but I found her southern accent for one of the main male characters annoying and demeaning since there was no indication he was from the south
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2 people found this helpful
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- J. PARKER
- 01-20-22
Salacious, statistical, psychosexual, sad
This memoir is a brave piece that left me feeling sad. The author writes clearly and well, and is obviously highly intelligent. Her descriptions of the workings of dating apps and their societal implications was eye-opening and at times, shocking. She addresses the topic from both a macro and micro view, and ties it together with occasional statistics.
The book is a little uneven at times, jumping back and forth through her life, with the main thread being her relationship with a much younger man. What struck me was her wish to "date" men half her age, having apparently given up on finding anyone who is age-appropriate. Anger about her prior failed relationships and men in general bubbles up at times, and I am left concluding that her attempts to find a relationship with a much younger man is a defense against being rejected by more appropriate men. She describes many of her hook-ups with disdain, and it becomes clear that these "relationships" cannot provide her with what she really wants: someone to love and care about her. Even her main target, Abel, can do little more for her than lie in bed with her, "take me from behind," and have the trappings of intimacy without any real connection.
Still, the memoir is a nice piece on the pros and cons (mostly cons) of the world of internet dating, how it works, and the substantial negative effects on relationships that result from the use of dating apps.
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- D. Houghton
- 12-05-23
A Long Rant
I was hoping for a more balanced and complete story and review of life in the dating app world. Instead, this story is mostly about the bad dudes and downsides of dating apps. Now, that is an important aspect for everyone, to be aware of, but there is more to the story than that.
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