"Don't You Know Who I Am?": How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility
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Narrated by:
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Ramani S. Durvasula PhD
About this listen
It’s time to take our lives back from a world of narcissism, entitlement, and toxic relationships.
“Don’t you know who I am?” has become the mantra of the famous and infamous, the entitled and the insecure. It’s the tagline of the modern narcissist.
Health and wellness campaigns preach avoidance of unhealthy foods, sedentary lifestyles, tobacco, drugs, and alcohol, but rarely preach avoidance of unhealthy, difficult, or toxic people. Yet the health benefits of removing toxic people from your life may have far greater benefits to both physical and psychological health. We need to learn to be better gatekeepers for our minds, bodies, and souls.
Narcissism, entitlement, and incivility have become the new world order, and we are all in trouble. They are not only normalized but also increasingly incentivized. They are manifestations of pathological insecurity - insecurities that are experienced at both the individual and societal level. The paradox is that we value these patterns. We venerate them through social media, mainstream media, and consumerism, and they are endemic in political, corporate, academic, and media leaders.
There are few lives untouched by narcissists. These relationships infect those who are in them with self-doubt, despair, confusion, anxiety, depression, and the chronic feeling of being “not enough,” all of which make it so difficult to step away and set boundaries. The illusion of hope and the fantasy of redemption can result in years of second chances, and despondency when change never comes.
It’s time for a wake-up call. It’s time to stem the tide of narcissism, entitlement, and antagonism, and take our lives back.
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We’ve all had friendships that have gone bad. Whether it takes the form of a simple yet inexplicable estrangement or a devastating betrayal, a failed friendship can make your life miserable, threaten your success at work or school, and even undermine your romantic relationships. Finally there is help. In When Friendship Hurts, Jan Yager, recognized internationally as a leading expert on friendship, explores what causes friendships to falter and explains how to mend them - or end them.
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Boring and patronizing
- By KDS on 11-17-22
By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
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Fierce Self-Compassion
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- By: Kristin Neff
- Narrated by: Jean Ann Douglass
- Length: 12 hrs and 34 mins
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Kristin Neff changed how we talk about self-care with her enormously popular first book, Self-Compassion. Now, 10 years and many studies later, she expands her body of work to explore a brand-new take on self-compassion. Although kindness and self-acceptance allow us to be with ourselves as we are, in all our glorious imperfection, the desire to alleviate suffering at the heart of this mindset isn't always gentle, sometimes it's fierce.
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Liberal Activism distracting
- By Janiene on 07-26-21
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How to Love
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- Narrated by: James Jenner
- Length: 5 hrs and 34 mins
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The internationally best-selling author of Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, Dr. Gordon Livingston here helps readers discover fulfilling happiness. By recognizing and understanding particular character traits in ourselves and others, we can all learn who best to love - and who best to avoid.
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Honest and right to the point
- By Elisabeth on 02-10-10
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How to Validate People
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- By: Ian Tuhovsky
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- Length: 2 hrs and 21 mins
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If you want relations that bring joy, fulfilment, and peace into your life. Then you’re looking at the right book. Most people have a hard time nurturing long-term, meaningful relationships. You’re exposed to new people daily at work, at the gym, or even at the supermarket. Despite this, less than one in ten interactions end up flourishing into a friendship.
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Very little how to. Misleading title
- By Amazon Customer on 01-10-24
By: Ian Tuhovsky
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The Power of Negative Thinking
- And How It Can Be a Powerful Route to Joy, Success and Satisfaction
- By: Oliver Burkeman
- Narrated by: Oliver Burkeman
- Length: 1 hr and 35 mins
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Oliver Burkeman explores why people are often more successful - as are organisations, armies and governments - when they focus on reasons they are likely to fail; asks where happiness comes from, and whether we look for it in the wrong places; explores a phenomenon that has come to be called 'fungineering' – attempts to boost happiness in the workplace; and confronts what many of us see as the most negative of all experiences: death.
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Perfect Follow-up to "Addicted to Busy"
- By Andrew Lenards on 07-23-19
By: Oliver Burkeman
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Although clinical research has been conducted on narcissism as a disorder, less is known about its effects on victims who are in toxic relationships with partners with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Individuals with this disorder engage in chronic devaluation and manipulation of their partners, a psychological and emotional phenomenon known as "narcissistic abuse". Unfortunately, the full extent of what narcissistic abuse entails is not taught in any psychology class or diagnostic manual.
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So grateful for this book!
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Slay narcissists—the ultimate bullies—in negotiations by following this simple formula—developed by one of the top 1 percent of attorneys in the nation—a proven method to take you from victim to victory, without backlash!
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Finally. A strategy for WINNING.
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Pathological mind games. Covert and overt put-downs. Triangulation. Gaslighting. Projection. These are the manipulative tactics survivors of malignant narcissists are unfortunately all too familiar with. As victims of silent crimes where the perpetrators are rarely held accountable, survivors of narcissistic abuse have lived in a war zone of epic proportions, enduring an abuse cycle of love-bombing and devaluation - psychological violence on steroids.
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30 Covert Emotional Manipulation Tactics: How Manipulators Take Control in Personal Relationships
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Identifying covert emotional manipulation is tricky. You sense something is wrong, but you can't quite put your finger on the problem. This powerful book will reveal to you if manipulation is at play in your relationships. It will open your eyes. You will learn 30 tactics manipulators use to get what they want. You will also learn to spot the warning signs within yourself that expose covert manipulation is taking place, even if you can't identify the specific tactics being used.
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This book can change your life!
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What listeners say about "Don't You Know Who I Am?": How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Sean
- 01-10-20
Slowly read but clear
I’m not sure if Dr. Durvasula is speaking very slowly or if it was purposely slowed down by the editors as she reads. I did speed it up half way through the book to 1.25 times the normal reading speed, and she sounds normal. However, I realized, I was able to listen better at the slower but normal speed. The book speaks for itself, it is a must read, for all personality types. Please see Esther 1:16-18; Deuteronomy 5:21; Exodus 20:17 to truly understand one reason why we are seeing the inceL situation, although their method used to display their anger is maladaptive, they have a legitimate reason for their anger. Feminism is one reason for a higher divorce rate. Divorce creates single family homes, children in single family homes, may fall higher on the narcissistic spectrum. Women today have a Queen Vashti spirit, rather than the spirit of Sarah, Abraham's wife. (see 1Peter 3:1-7)
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8 people found this helpful
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- Merilee Grage
- 01-08-22
The best of many
I have read and listened to much on Narcissism. After survival from my mother, father,brothers, husband and at last my child At 60 I finally am beginning to heal. This book was comprehensive and well written. Currently my work experience has and will continue to be influenced positively because of this book and my persistence for many years seeking counsel and answers. Two days ago I stood up for myself in a professional way at my new job. I especially enjoyed the encouragement to have realistic expectations of myself and others. Thank you for renewed hope that I can change myself and my response to unhealthy people.
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3 people found this helpful
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- William Carter
- 12-01-21
Helping someone with a dark side
My fiancee has found a great deal of help from your YouTube channel in disentangling herself from a toxic family situation. However, it is a fear of mine that she got out of the frying pan and into the fire with me. I am trying to understand myself better, and watching your videos sometimes leads me to unsettling realizations that are only paralleled by uncomfortable comparisons with my behavior and her father's on occasion. I didn't have an exactly blissful childhood once my parents divorced. I don't know if I'm a narcissist, or if it's truly a spectrum and not as black and white as it's sometimes portrayed, but I have these traits. And one of the ways they have sometimes come to the fore have been political ambitions. I strongly believe that there need to be some political solutions to this problem, and that there is a major issue that narcissism often seems to be a sine qua non for political ambitions. Maybe I'm not the one to take it on, but it's something to consider I think. I also have a bipolar diagnosis so I'm unsure what to make of this all. Thank you for your bravery in taking on this important issue.
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2 people found this helpful
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- dhari
- 06-17-23
Informative, Empowering: A Book Worth reading
Don't You Know Who I Am?" by Dr. Ramani is a transformative audiobook that explores narcissism, empowers listeners, and offers practical advice for personal growth and healing. Dr. Ramani's insights and compassionate approach make it an invaluable resource.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Lisa
- 03-17-22
Educational
This book shed so much light on a dark subject and has facilitated my healing. Thank you Dr. Ramani!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Sandra
- 05-07-24
Guide in arming yourself against narcissistic abuse
This book on top of her other book titled, “It’s not you” have helped to really educate me on narcissistic behavior. I’m an empathetic and compassionate person and i didn’t realize how susceptible that can make me to narcissistic abuse until reading this book. It has empowered me with great discernment and has armed me with a lot more wisdom on the subject and how to combat it.
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- Kimberly
- 05-11-21
Don’t pass up this read ...EXCEPTIONAL
This book is interesting, informative and concise. I completed it in two days!! It validated my situation and gave me a road map to safely navigating life with the narcissist in my life. In the kind, but direct, words of this author, I found the permission and strength to limit my exposure to the toxic person I dreaded in my life. Already, I feel like a weight has been lifted, and I am happy with who I am again. This decision came with losses, but I am healthier and happier for them. If you believe you have a narcissist invading your life and impinging on your joy and happiness, DEFINITELY read this book!!!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Melissa
- 03-04-21
Highly recommended
Amazing book that helps the every day person deal with the narcissist or toxic person in their life. It may literally be a life saver.
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- Jane Carroll
- 09-15-21
Insightful and very helpful
I personally related to so much of what was said, and found it very helpful in understanding my past, as well as a roadmap for present and future relationships.
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- TM
- 11-20-19
Vital Information
A very comprehensive work done by someone with great topical understanding. More people need to be equipped with this knowledge.
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