Operation Cosmic Teapot
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Narrated by:
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Derek Botten
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By:
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Dylan Callens
About this listen
"A virgin birth? A virgin? Her?" God shouted at Freud while recalling his one night stand with Mary. Freud snorted another line of cocaine in celebration, believing that this story would help Nietzsche in his quest to fire God from Heaven Inc. Nietzsche, however, has other problems: the Norse gods are running amok on Earth, his board of directors are in a constant state of chaos, and syphilis pushes him into a past life that he would rather forget. How will he prevail?
Operation Cosmic Teapot takes you on a wild, hilarious ride that explores the relationship between people and gods. Thought-provoking and humorous, the Teapot is sure to leave you wanting more.
©2015 Dylan Callens (P)2017 Dylan CallensListeners also enjoyed...
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- Narrated by: Stephen Hoye
- Length: 14 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Ferryman Charlie Dawson saves dead people - somebody has to convince them to move on to the afterlife, after all. Having never failed a single assignment, he's acquired a reputation for success that's as legendary as it is unwanted. It turns out that serving as a Ferryman is causing Charlie to slowly lose his mind. Deemed too valuable by the Ferryman Institute to be let go and too stubborn to just give up in his own right, Charlie's pretty much abandoned all hope of escaping his grim existence. Or he had, anyway, until he saved Alice Spiegel.
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Narrator does not capture tone of the story
- By Jessica Bell on 03-15-17
By: Colin Gigl
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Croak
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Fed up with her wild behavior, 16-year-old Lex’s parents ship her off to upstate New York to live with her Uncle Mort for the summer, hoping that a few months of dirty farm work will whip her back into shape. But Uncle Mort’s true occupation is much dirtier than shoveling manure. He’s a Grim Reaper. And he’s going to teach Lex the family business. She quickly assimilates into the peculiar world of Croak, a town populated by reapers who deliver souls from this life to the next.
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Juvenile
- By Mark Faine on 09-23-13
By: Gina Damico
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A Horse Walks into a Bar
- By: David Grossman, Jessica Cohen
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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In a little dive in a small Israeli city, Dov Greenstein, a comedian a bit past his prime, is doing a night of stand-up. In the audience is a district court justice, Avishai Lazar, whom Dov knew as a boy, along with a few others who remember Dov as the awkward, scrawny kid who walked on his hands to confound the neighborhood bullies. Gradually, teetering between hilarity and hysteria, Dov's patter becomes a kind of memoir, taking us back into the terrors of his childhood.
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An extraordinary experience
- By Judith on 07-28-17
By: David Grossman, and others
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You Slay Me
- Aisling Grey, Guardian, Book 1
- By: Katie MacAlister
- Narrated by: Barbara Rosenblat
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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You Slay Me is a lusty romance novel with amusing supernatural undercurrents. When courier Aisling Grey is dispatched to Paris to deliver a priceless dragon statue to a rich and eccentric female collector, she finds the intended recipient the apparent victim of a demonic ritual. And that's just the beginning of Aisling's discoveries.
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You Slay Me, With Dry Mouth
- By E. Moore on 04-01-13
By: Katie MacAlister
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Death's Daughter
- By: Amber Benson
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 9 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Calliope Reaper-Jones so just wanted a normal life: buying designer shoes on sale, dating guys from Craig’s List, web-surfing for organic dim-sum for her boss. But when her father - who happens to be Death himself - is kidnapped, and the Devil’s Protege embarks on a hostile takeover of the family business, Death, Inc., Callie returns home to assume the CEO mantle - only to discover she must complete three nearly impossible tasks in the realm of the afterlife first.
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Don't Stop After Chapter 1
- By Dana on 03-29-14
By: Amber Benson
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Red-Headed Stepchild
- By: Jaye Wells
- Narrated by: Cynthia Holloway
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Sabina Kane doesn't really fit in. And being an assassin doesn't help matters. But she's never brought her work home. Until now. Sabina's latest mission is uncomfortably complex and threatens the fragile peace between the vampire and mage races. As she scrambles to figure out which side she's on, she uncovers a tangled political web, some nasty facts about her family, and some unexpected new talents. Any of these things could be worryingly life changing, but together they could be lethal.
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One of the Worst Books I've "Read"
- By BestBooksBestPrice on 09-12-12
By: Jaye Wells
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The Astounding, the Amazing, and the Unknown
- A Novel
- By: Paul Malmont
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 16 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1943, when the United States learns that Germany is on the verge of a deadly innovation that could tip the balance of the war, the government turns to an unlikely source for help: the nation’s top science fiction writers. Installed at a covert military lab within the Philadelphia Naval Yard are the most brilliant of these young visionaries. The unruly band is led by Robert Heinlein, the dashing and complicated master of the genre. His “Kamikaze Group,” is tasked with transforming the wonders of science fiction into science fact....
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Pulp Perfection!
- By Jim N on 08-31-12
By: Paul Malmont
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The Mad Scientist's Guide to World Domination
- Original Short Fiction for the Modern Evil Genius
- By: John Joseph Adams - editor
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki, Mary Robinette Kowal, Justine Eyre
- Length: 15 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Mad scientists have never had it so tough. In super-hero comics, graphic novels, films, TV series, video games, and even works of what may be fiction, they are besieged by those who stand against them, devoid of sympathy for their irrational, megalomaniacal impulses to rule, destroy, or otherwise dominate the world as we know it. It’s just not fair. So those of us who are so twisted and sick that we love mad scientists have created this guide.
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HAND DANCING
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 05-30-15
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Sweet Evil
- By: Wendy Higgins
- Narrated by: Erin Mallon
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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What if there were teens whose lives literally depended on being bad influences? This is the reality for sons and daughters of fallen angels. Tenderhearted Southern girl Anna Whitt was born with the sixth sense to see and feel emotions of other people. She's aware of a struggle within herself, an inexplicable pull toward danger, but Anna, the ultimate good girl, has always had the advantage of her angel side to balance the darkness within. It isn't until she turns 16 and meets the alluring Kaidan Rowe that she discovers her terrifying heritage and her willpower is put to the test.
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Eh...
- By Bee on 03-19-13
By: Wendy Higgins
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Dragonblight
- Interim Dragon Series, Book 1
- By: Katie MacAlister
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Seven wyverns, six dragon mates, and a mouthy demon named Jim. When word comes that a demon lord plans to curse all of dragonkin, Aisling, Drake, and the rest of the weyr take immediate action. But before they can find out just who is behind the threat, and why the curse is being cast, the red dragons disappear, leaving behind oddly familiar - but deadly - new foes.
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Very good series start
- By Nana_PEE on 10-08-24
By: Katie MacAlister
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Undead Chaos
- By: Joshua Roots
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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The job was simple: decapitate the zombie, get paid, get out. Warlock Marcus Shifter followed the plan perfectly. The corpse, however, did not. Now there's a body on the loose, accusations of illegal necromancy are flying, and the answers are waiting in the perilous alleys between the mortal and paranormal worlds. They're no place for someone who mostly gave up magic after a childhood accident. And given his tendency to shoot off his mouth and his Glock, Marcus is having a hell of a time digging up more than just bodies. When an apocalypse-minded megalomaniac threatens Marcus's family, things get personal.
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Pretty good "beach" book
- By david on 12-04-13
By: Joshua Roots
What listeners say about Operation Cosmic Teapot
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- mandy
- 09-23-17
LOVED this book!!
This story had me laughing out loud. Great story with fantastic narration! I have worked in a call center before and despised it so maybe that added to my enjoyment but this was absolutely perfect! Highly recommend this audio book to anyone who loves a unique comedy!
** A copy of this audio book was provided in exchange for an honest review**
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1 person found this helpful
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- Emmy
- 12-15-17
If all of the gods worked together ...
In this book, they all work in a call center, where they answer prayers ... or something like that!
God admits he never asked for his role - and he’s not perfect!
This was a curious story if God was “humanized”, as well as thd iconic almighties of various myth, lore, and world religions. I LOVED it. (Because I didn’t take it seriously and don’t get easily offended.)
This book is on my Permanent Downloaded in my Audiobooks app! If I ever need a “get out of hell free card” aka “get out of a funk”, a ten minute listen will cure the blues. Truly. I will delete pictures and videos if my I kill my GB storage on my phone before I remove this downloaded book!
Narrator was perfect to keeping the story light, flowing, and captivating.
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- Deedra
- 09-04-17
Operation Cosmic Teapot
This was a really fun book to listen to!Derek Botten was the perfect narrator.God is just one of many gods in a call center called Heaven Inc. Freud is called in to chat with the christain god and hopefully find something so they can can him.Other gods are sent to track down Thor,who has run amok.It is all hilarious!“I was given this free review copy audiobook and have voluntarily left this review."
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- Jared
- 09-16-17
An interesting book despite its flaws
-Story-
Operation Cosmic Teapot is at its core a very interesting concept. The idea that all gods are working in a call center like telemarketers hawking their particular brand of religion is both quirky and amusing at times. The book really shines in the moments when you are just watching what is happening without worrying too much about context or deeper meanings. In particular just about any scene between god and Freud were delightful. The book somewhat falls apart though if you start looking too deeply. To be fair any time when your mixing theologies your going to get some contradictions, yet there are things the book establishes then seems to forget about. For instance the entirety of the Viking gods being there at all is somewhat confusing. All other gods need to be tempted and attracted with contracts, but the Vikings just showed up after ragnarok....which also didn't end their world apparently.......also what exactly is the incentive of the gods working in a call center run by people which the gods themselves created? Maybe....ok probably, I'm just thinking way to hard on this but it did bother me a bit. Also the ending seems like its trying to make some grand point from one of the characters but doesn't really make any sense if you start thinking about it.
-Sound-
Derek Botten's narration is pretty good but the way the book was edited leave these strange pauses at times. Its not like 30 seconds or anything, more like 2-3 but its enough to break up the rhythm of the narration. Its a bit like when a narrator pauses between chapters to give them separation, only just at the end of some random sentences. I don't know if the actual editing work is done by the narrator or a third party so with the benefit of the doubt he still gets 4 stars.
-Overall(TL:DR)-
Fun book with a strange but enjoyable concept, just don't think too hard on the mechanics of the world its working in.
-Obligatory disclaimer-
I received this book for free in return for my honest and unbiased review of said book.
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- Rabid Reader
- 08-16-17
Humorous look at religion
This is a humorous look at gods and religion. Various gods and famous dead people are employed in the afterlife in a call centre named Gods.inc., where CEO Nietzsche is trying to get God fired. It had me laughing out loud at many different parts and the narrator did an excellent job. He did the various accents really well and brought out the the humour and sarcasm in the book. From God's psych exam with a drug addicted Freud, to a Twitter using Mazda and the escaped security detail of Asgardian Gods, it's funny, easy to listen to and forms a tongue in cheek story of religions as a business. This story is well written and narrated but might offend if you are a very religious person.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Dawn Fuhrman
- 08-05-17
A different look at the super powers above.
This story is not for those easily offended. But it is truly a great thought provoking story. What if the Greek Gods and The Jewish/Christian God and all the other gods were working together in a company? This is an ingenious look at how the heavens could be and that there is not one god, but many that watch over their followers. I love how Freud psychoanalysizes God. He asks questions that I am sure others have wondered. It is truly a twist on all of our beliefs.
Derek Botten was perfect for the narration. He was able to distinguish each character and truly sounded as I would have imagined them to sound. Mr Botten has an easy to listen to voice and narrated at a perfect pace.
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