Pain Killer
A Memoir of Big League Addiction
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Narrated by:
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Brantt Myhres
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Michael Landsberg
About this listen
Number one best seller
"This book is at times startling, yet very real and down to earth.... I saw [Brantt] in all phases of his life and his career. I consider him a friend and an ally. Pain Killer sends a strong message." (Darryl Sutter, former NHL player, coach, and GM)
From the only player to be banned for life from the NHL, a harrowing tale of addiction, and an astonishing path to recovery.
Brantt Myhres wasn't around for the birth of his daughter. Myhres had played for seven different NHL teams, and had made millions. But he'd been suspended four times, all for drug use, and he had partied his way out of the league. By the time his daughter was born, he was penniless, sleeping on a friend's couch. He'd just been released from police custody. He had a choice between sticking around for the birth, or showing up for league-mandated rehab. He went to rehab. For the fifth time.
This is his story, in his own words, of how he fought his way out of minor hockey into the big league, but never left behind the ghosts of a bleak and troubled childhood. He tells the story of discovering booze as a way of handling the anxiety of fighting, and of the thrill of cocaine. In the raw language of the locker room, he tells of how substance abuse poisoned the love he had in his life and sabotaged a great career. Full of stories of week-long benders, stripper-filled hot tubs, motorcycle crashes, and barroom brawls, Pain Killer is at its most powerful when Myhres acknowledges how he let himself down, and betrayed those who trusted him. Again and again, he fools the executives and doctors who gave him a second chance, then a third, then a fourth, and with each betrayal, he spirals further downward.
But finally, on the eve of his daughter's birth, when all the money was gone, every bridge burnt, and every opportunity squandered, he was given a last chance. And this time, it worked.
It worked so well, that not only has he been around for his daughter for the past 11 years, in 2015 he was signed by the LA Kings as a "sober coach": a guy who'd been there, a guy who could recognize and help solve problems before they ruined lives and made headlines (as the Kings had seen happen three times that season). Not only did Myhres save himself, he saved others.
Unpolished, unpretentious, and unflinching, Myhres tells it like it is, acknowledging every mistake, and painting a portrait of an angry, violent, dangerous man caught in the vice of something he couldn't control, and didn't understand. If Brantt Myhres can pull himself together, anyone can. And he does, convincingly, and inspiringly.
©2021 Brantt Myhres and Michael Landsberg (P)2021 Penguin Random House CanadaListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“This book is at times startling, yet very real and down to earth. As troubled as Brantt was, he was still a great teammate and a player I enjoyed being with. I worked with him in San Jose, Calgary, and LA, so I saw him in all phases of his life and his career. I consider him a friend and an ally. Pain Killer sends a strong message.” (Darryl Sutter, former NHL player, coach, and GM)
“A devastatingly honest account of one man’s struggle with seemingly insurmountable demons. Through a combination of raw talent and hard work, Brantt Myhres finally realizes every Canadian boy’s dream of playing in the NHL only to throw it all away at the mercy of drugs and booze. An enforcer throughout his career, it’s his battle with addiction that proves him to be the ultimate tough guy. Pain Killer is a knockout.” (Will Arnett, actor)
“I met Brantt when he was working with the LA Kings Organization and he was open about his story from day one. In LA, he was a mentor for the players that found themselves going down a dark path, similar to what he had gone through. It speaks volumes about someone’s character when they can hit rock bottom, pick themselves up, and then help others up: that’s Brantt. This book makes his story accessible to everyone, not just players. I’m grateful for his courage to share and hopeful that it will help many others inside and outside of the hockey world.” (Paul “Biz Nasty” Bissonnette, broadcaster and former NHL player)
"Pain Killer is not your typical hockey autobiography; there are no championships or heroic on-ice moments. It is a rare glimpse into the dark side of professional hockey that concludes with a somewhat happy ending - certainly happier than that one might expect.” (Winnipeg Free Press)
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- Narrated by: Danny Campbell
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Ever since his astonishing victory in the 1991 PGA Championship, John Daly has enthralled fans with his big drives, bigger personality, and "Grip It and Rip It" approach to golf - and to life. Usually seen with a Marlboro Light dangling from his lip, John is the unchained, unpredictable, unapologetic bad boy of professional golf. My Life in and out of the Rough is a thrillingly - and sometimes shockingly - candid memoir of a larger-than-life athlete battling assorted addictions (alcohol, gambling, chocolate, sex), his weight, and, perhaps worst of all, divorce lawyers.
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Good short listen, bad choice for narrator
- By Mtnjunkie on 08-26-20
By: John Daly, and others
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Crash and Burn
- By: Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
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[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
- By Hilary on 11-07-13
By: Artie Lange, and others
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The Chris Farley Show
- A Biography in Three Acts
- By: Tom Farley, Tanner Colby
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer, L. J. Ganser, Mark Boyett
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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The New York Times best-selling biography of an American comedy legend. After three years of sobriety, Chris Farley's life was at its creative peak until a string of professional disappointments chased him back to drugs and alcohol. He fought hard against them, but it was a fight he would lose in December 1997. Farley's fans immediately drew parallels between his death and that of his idol, John Belushi. Without looking deeper, however, many failed to see that Farley was much more than just another Hollywood drug overdose. In this officially authorized oral history, Farley's friends and family remember his work and life.
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Incredibly sad....
- By Marie B on 04-12-15
By: Tom Farley, and others
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Wanna Bet?
- A Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Living on the Edge
- By: Artie Lange
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
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who needs Artie (to read)
- By B. Wenners on 08-24-18
By: Artie Lange
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This Might Get a Little Heavy
- A Memoir
- By: Ralphie May, Nils Parker
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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There was a time when Ralphie May was one of the biggest stand-up comedians in the country, both by ticket sales and by tonnage. While some things changed - Ralphie lost half his body weight - others did not: He will be remembered as one of the most successful comics of his time. Completed just months before his untimely passing, in This Might Get a Little Heavy, Ralphie takes listeners on a behind-the-scenes tour of his life and career, one that winds across the country, over obstacles, beyond heartbreak, and through the golden age of stand-up.
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brilliant and tragic
- By Timothy Trujillo on 08-12-18
By: Ralphie May, and others
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Loudmouth
- Tales (and Fantasies) of Sports, Sex, and Salvation from Behind the Microphone
- By: Craig Carton
- Narrated by: Craig Carton
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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In this debut, Carton invites the listener to join him as he recounts tales from his suburban youth, defends his long-held love affair with the New York Jets, reminisces about the shenanigans of some of the highest paid and most celebrated athletes playing today, and reflects on his work as one of radio's craftiest, most hilarious personalities ever to get behind the microphone.
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Fun but too much about early life
- By Anthony A. Ciaccio on 07-13-13
By: Craig Carton
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Sober Stick Figure
- A Memoir
- By: Amber Tozer
- Narrated by: Amber Tozer
- Length: 5 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Sober Stick Figure is a memoir from stand-up comedian Amber Tozer, chronicling her life as an alcoholic - starting with her first drink at the age of seven - and her eventual recovery. Amber writes about the crazy and harsh truths of being raised by alcoholics, becoming one herself, stagnating in denial for years, and finally getting sober.
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Author's voice unbearable
- By Kylee on 12-09-16
By: Amber Tozer
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Trejo
- My Life of Crime, Redemption, and Hollywood
- By: Danny Trejo, Donal Logue
- Narrated by: Danny Trejo, Donal Logue
- Length: 13 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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On screen, Danny Trejo the actor is a baddie who has been killed at least a hundred times. He’s been shot, stabbed, hanged, chopped up, squished by an elevator, and once, was even melted into a bloody goo. Off screen, he’s a hero beloved by recovery communities and obsessed fans alike. But the real Danny Trejo is much more complicated than the legend.
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The best book ever!
- By Nicolas Rocha on 07-08-21
By: Danny Trejo, and others
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The Pact
- By: Cody Garbrandt, Mark Dagostino
- Narrated by: Dave Hoffman
- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Cody Garbrandt grew up in a rough town in the Central Appalachian region of Ohio, surrounded by a longstanding culture of fighting - and drugs. Raised in this environment by a single mom (his dad left him at the young age of three to reside in the Ohio State Penitentiary), Cody grew up fighting, and he grew up wild. His future seemed predestined to end in the coal mines or in prison. Thankfully, Cody had visions of something more. His American dream? Mixed martial arts.
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Yikes.
- By Rebecca Whitman on 06-20-18
By: Cody Garbrandt, and others
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No Spin
- The autobiography of Shane Warne
- By: Shane Warne, Mark Nicholas
- Narrated by: Rhys Muldoon
- Length: 13 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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In No Spin, Shane sets the record straight. From his extraordinary family history to his childhood as a budding Aussie Rules footballer in suburban Melbourne. From the legendary 'Gatting ball' to his history-making 700th Test wicket. From the controversy surrounding the diuretic pill in South Africa to his high-profile relationship with Hollywood star Elizabeth Hurley. Nothing is off limits, and Shane tackles it all with his trademark directness and humour.
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Great story
- By Abishek on 06-09-20
By: Shane Warne, and others
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Bare Bones
- I'm Not Lonely If You're Reading This Book
- By: Bobby Bones
- Narrated by: Bobby Bones
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up poor in Mountain Pine, Arkansas, with a young, addicted mom, Bobby Estell fell in love with country music. Abandoned by his father at the age of five, Bobby saw the radio as his way out - a dream that came true in college when he went on air at the Henderson State University campus station broadcasting as Bobby Bones while simultaneously starting The Bobby Bones Show at 105.9 KLAZ.
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A look inside the narcissist life of Bobby Bones.
- By Selena on 05-20-16
By: Bobby Bones
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This Book Has Balls
- Sports Rants from the MVP of Talking Trash
- By: Michael Rapaport
- Narrated by: Michael Rapaport
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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In This Book Has Balls, Rapaport uses his signature smack-talk style and in-your-face humor to discuss everything from why LeBron will never be like Mike to how Tiger needs the ladies to get his golf game back and how he once thought Mary Lou Retton was his true love. And, of course, why next year will be the year the New York Knicks win the championship. This book is a series of rants - some controversial, some affectionate, but all incredibly hilarious.
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Gringo Mandingo Mike Rapaport does it again!
- By Kathryn Lara on 10-24-17
By: Michael Rapaport
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Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
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Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
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How to Be a Man
- (and Other Illusions)
- By: Duff McKagan
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Duff McKagan is one of the most respected survivors in hard rock. In How to Be a Man, he shares the wisdom he gained on the path to superstardom - from his time with Guns N' Roses and Velvet Revolver to getting sober after a life of hard living to achieving his personal American dream of marrying a supermodel, raising a family, and experiencing what it's like to be winked at by Prince.
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Overly dramatic reader.
- By CB on 01-07-17
By: Duff McKagan
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A Very Punchable Face
- A Memoir
- By: Colin Jost
- Narrated by: Colin Jost
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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If there’s one trait that makes someone well-suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch - metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy - with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
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Amazing
- By Erin E. Kace on 07-27-20
By: Colin Jost
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Home Before Daylight
- My Life on the Road with the Grateful Dead
- By: Steve Parish, Joe Layden - contributor, Bob Weir - foreword
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Steve Parish was never one to walk the straight-and-narrow, even during his childhood growing up in Flushing Meadow, Queens. Busted as a teenager for selling acid in the summer of 1968, Parish landed in Riker's Island. The experience changed him, and after getting out, he did his best to stay out of trouble, securing a job moving music equipment at the New York State Pavilion. The first show he worked was a Grateful Dead concert in July of 1969, and Parish was captivated by the music. A life seemingly headed nowhere had suddenly found its calling.
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Narrator-Blaa
- By MORGAN NOTEL on 10-06-19
By: Steve Parish, and others
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My Cross to Bear
- By: Gregg Allman, Alan Light
- Narrated by: Will Patton
- Length: 10 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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As one of the greatest rock icons of all time, Gregg Allman has lived it all and then some. For almost 50 years, he's been creating some of the most recognizable songs in American rock, but never before has he paused to reflect on the long road he's traveled. Now, he tells the unflinching story of his life, laying bare the unvarnished truth about his wild ride that has spanned across the years.
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my cross to bear was awesome
- By the dude on 05-02-12
By: Gregg Allman, and others
What listeners say about Pain Killer
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Suzanne C Hoppins
- 04-12-21
Inside the mind...
As a sober individual I was impressed with the open and honest truth of what it’s like to be inside the mind of Myers. The guts it takes to share the heart and soul of a fighter in the NHL. Excellent work by the author!
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- Sheri Sausedo
- 11-14-22
Thank you
I don’t anything about hockey, yet something about the title grabbed me. Addiction is addiction wether it’s sports or being a caregiver. Thank you for sharing your story. It meant a lot to me.
Sheri S
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- Colin Donnelly
- 02-21-21
Wow
Incredible story. Someone is watching over you Brantt. You are obviously still here for a reason. After all you’ve been through your light still shines and it’s just getting brighter. Thanks for sharing.
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1 person found this helpful
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- JT
- 11-28-21
If you’re even considering this, get it.
This was recommended to me by a friend who played in the ECHL about 10 years ago and was in the “enforcer” roll as he tried to climb the ladder. This is not the typical genre I usually listen to.
It is an incredible autobiography of Brantt Myhres, written by and narrated by Brantt himself. It is INCREDIBLE to hear Brantt tell the stories of his past. Incredible is an understatement.
This is not a self-help book and there is no chest thumping by Brantt. You won’t believe the humility of this guy while you listen to this book. Absolute must listen. The person who recommended this book to me actually read the book. I don’t think reading this book does the story justice. You gotta actually hear Brant tell his life story in his own voice.
Brantt, I sincerely wish you the best of luck with your continued sobriety, fatherhood and your future. -Keep going
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- Kindle Customer
- 03-19-21
Must Read!
Great book about survival and will to live a clean life! Was a great audio book!
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- Kindle Customer
- 06-23-24
Great story.
He seemed very sincere. Once again, life shows us to watch what we wish for.
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- Mark
- 03-16-21
A Must Listen!
While ultimately this is a story of addiction and recovery it is also about human frailty and shortcomings and having the strength, wisdom , and humility to address them. This book will move you to your core! I’m thankful to have discovered it.
The only other “sports book” that is comparable is The Good Son by Mark Kriegle about Ray Mancini.
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- Javier F. Ruiz
- 05-16-24
Heartfelt and inspiring
Really good and entertaining read. Love his story telling and brutally honest demeanor. Really takes you to a dark place with insight but also takes you to places of inspiration. Love it.
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- M T Boućher
- 08-07-24
Absolutely loved this book.
loved this book. I love hockey and use to love drugs and partying. I really enjoyed this book. The inside stories and the off ice shit we never hear about or only some of the story/truth. Great listen. Hated for it to end. This book made me look up the author because I want to meet him.
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- Brew2go
- 06-14-21
I love hockey.
Myze does his own narrative so that kept me interested. He had a lot of devil's living inside him that caused his career to end way too early. I am happy he got his life back together.
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1 person found this helpful