Please Don't Sit on My Bed in Your Outside Clothes
Essays
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Narrated by:
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Phoebe Robinson
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By:
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Phoebe Robinson
About this listen
“[A]nother hilarious essay collection from Phoebe Robinson.” (The New York Times Book Review)
“Strikes the perfect balance of brutally honest and laugh out loud funny. I didn’t want it to end.” (Mindy Kaling, New York Times best-selling author of Why Not Me?)
With sharp, timely insight, pitch-perfect pop culture references, and her always unforgettable voice, New York Times best-selling author, comedian, actress, and producer Phoebe Robinson is back with her most must-have book yet.
In her brand-new collection, Phoebe shares stories that will make you laugh, but also plenty that will hit you in the heart, inspire a little bit of rage, and maybe a lot of action. That means sharing her perspective on performative allyship, White guilt, and what happens when White people take up space in cultural movements; exploring what it’s like to be a woman who doesn’t want kids living in a society where motherhood is the crowning achievement of a straight, cis woman’s life; and how the dire state of mental health in America means that taking care of one’s mental health - a.k.a. “self-care” - usually requires disposable money.
She also shares stories about her mom slow-poking before a visit with Mrs. Obama, the stupidly fake reassurances of zip-line attendants, her favorite things about dating a White person from the UK, and how the lack of Black women in leadership positions fueled her to become the Black lady boss of her dreams. By turns perceptive, laugh-out-loud funny, and heartfelt, Please Don’t Sit on My Bed in Your Outside Clothes is not only a brilliant look at our current cultural moment, it's also a collection that will stay with listeners for years to come.
©2021 Phoebe Robinson (P)2021 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Phoebe Robinson has done it again! While exploring topics ranging from being the boss to helping me determine which wigs are my Zoom standbys, Pheebs keeps the comic relief coming. I’ve never looked forward to reading footnotes so much. Come for the laughs, stay for her vulnerability. You just might find yourself walking away lighter and braver.”—Austin Channing Brown, New York Times bestselling author of I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness
“Phoebe’s the G.O.A.T. when it comes to honest and hilarious storytelling, and Please Don’t Sit on my Bed in Your Outside Clothes is no exception. Her writing is a MasterClass in transforming life’s most complicated parts into relatable gems. Righteous, ratchet, sincere, and downright entertaining, I couldn't put Please Don't Sit on My Bed down.”—Hasan Minhaj, comedian, actor, producer
“She did it again! Whip-smart, laugh-out-loud, and unabashedly honest, this collection feels like a long-awaited weekend with an old friend. Phoebe brings you in with her hilarity, and keeps you with her unparalleled social commentary. After the past year, I needed this!”—Abbi Jacobson, New York Times bestselling author of I Might Regret This: Essays, Drawings, Vulnerabilities, and Other Stuff
Featured Article: The top 100 celebrity memoirs of all time
The best celebrity memoir audiobooks are in a league of their own—there is no greater listening experience than a memoir performed by the celebrity behind the title. Their charisma and authenticity greatly enhance the experience, making it all the more engaging. Many listeners who would never think to read a celebrity memoir in print gravitate to the genre in audio. There’s something magical about hearing, in their own voice, the nitty-gritty of a star’s path.
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Bad Fat Black Girl
- Notes from a Trap Feminist
- By: Sesali Bowen
- Narrated by: Sesali Bowen
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up on the south side of Chicago, Sesali Bowen learned early on how to hustle, stay on her toes, and champion other Black women and femmes as she navigated Blackness, queerness, fatness, friendship, poverty, sex work, and self-love. Her love of trap music led her to the top of hip-hop journalism. But despite all the beauty, complexity, and general badassery she saw, Bowen found none of that nuance represented in mainstream feminism. Thus, she coined Trap Feminism, a contemporary framework that interrogates where feminism meets today's hip-hop.
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From a Trap Feminist
- By Tanika Thrift on 01-05-22
By: Sesali Bowen
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Drinking and Tweeting
- And Other Brandi Blunders
- By: Brandi Glanville, Leslie Bruce
- Narrated by: Brandi Glanville
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Fans have been waiting for Brandi’s scoop on one of the biggest divorces of the decade since her husband of eight years abandoned her and their two sons to marry country singer LeAnn Rimes. Not only does Brandi spill the beans about her side of the split, but the lovable housewife also shares the incredible wild ride that took her from a life in the ghetto to Hollywood’s most elite circles.
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Who edited this?
- By Jessica on 11-02-20
By: Brandi Glanville, and others
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Your Turn
- How to Be an Adult
- By: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Narrated by: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Length: 20 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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What does it mean to be an adult? In the 20th century, psychologists came up with five markers of adulthood: finish your education, get a job, leave home, marry, and have children. Since then, every generation has been held to those same markers. Yet so much has changed about the world and living in it since that sequence was formulated. All of those markers are choices, and they’re all valid, but any one person’s choices along those lines do not make them more or less an adult.
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Not the book that was advertised
- By M. Rogers on 04-13-21
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Off with My Head
- The Definitive Basic B*tch Handbook to Surviving Rock Bottom
- By: Stassi Schroeder
- Narrated by: Stassi Schroeder
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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The year 2020 was going to be the best year of Stassi’s life. Besides getting engaged and feeling like she was on top of the world career-wise, she bought her first house and was planning her dream Italian wedding. The future showed so much freaking promise—until it all went to hell. Stassi may not be perfect—she may have made some (major) mistakes—but she does feel like she has some insight (and plenty of hilarious tales) about getting knocked up, called out, and learning from what went wrong.
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Really Wanted to Like This, But...
- By Cathie on 08-09-23
By: Stassi Schroeder
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Becoming Super Woman
- A Simple 12-Step Plan to Go from Burnout to Balance
- By: Nicole Lapin
- Narrated by: Nicole Lapin
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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It's time to stop putting yourself at the bottom of every to-do list and start taking care of yourself first. It's time to leave Superwoman in the movies, where she belongs, and say hello to being a super woman - the best, most productive version of the hero you already are.
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Easy Listen and advice that is actually useful
- By Sean E. Huie on 10-21-19
By: Nicole Lapin
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The Baddest Bitch in the Room
- (Explicit Version)
- By: Sophia Chang
- Narrated by: Sophia Chang
- Length: 8 hrs
- Original Recording
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Sophia Chang is a badass of the music industry. As the daughter of Korean immigrants in predominantly white suburban Vancouver, she grew up shunning the “model minority” myth. Armed with a fierce sense of independence, she moved to New York City and infiltrated the world of hip-hop, yet remained mostly in the shadows of the artists she supported. With her debut memoir, Sophia Chang is finally ready to grab the mic for herself.
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Something in the music spoke to me...
- By Tina G. on 09-30-19
By: Sophia Chang
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The Game of Desire
- 5 Surprising Secrets to Dating with Dominance - and Getting What You Want
- By: Shannon Boodram
- Narrated by: Shannon Boodram
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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For younger generations, dating is a complicated mystery. Apps like Tinder and Bumble are supposed to foster connection but instead serve as a reminder of how painfully single we are. Certified sexologist and intimacy coach Shan Boodram - the most sought-after sex educator on the internet - is about to change all that. In this essential how-to guide, she addresses the realities of life today - when the rules of love and attraction are fluid - and teaches a group of young women how to become master daters in just 60 days.
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Hey it’s me...you
- By Shan Boody on 09-25-19
By: Shannon Boodram
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Professional Troublemaker
- The Fear-Fighter Manual
- By: Luvvie Ajayi Jones
- Narrated by: Luvvie Ajayi Jones
- Length: 8 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Luvvie Ajayi Jones is known for her trademark wit, warmth, and perpetual truth-telling. But even she's been challenged by the enemy of progress known as fear. She was once afraid to call herself a writer, and nearly skipped out on doing a TED talk that changed her life because of imposter syndrome. As she shares in Professional Troublemaker, she's not alone.
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I’m missing something
- By Cheval Violet on 04-22-21
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It's Not You
- 27 (Wrong) Reasons You're Single
- By: Sara Eckel
- Narrated by: Nina Alvamar
- Length: 4 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on her popular Modern Love column, Sara Eckel’s It’s Not You challenges these myths, encouraging singletons to stop picking apart their personalities and to start tapping into their own wisdom about who and what is right for them. Supported by the latest psychological and sociological research, as well as interviews with people who have experienced longtime singledom, Eckel creates a strong and empowering argument to understand and accept that there’s no one reason why you’re single - you just are.
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Good Book
- By Anonymous User on 05-24-20
By: Sara Eckel
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Normal Gets You Nowhere
- By: Kelly Cutrone
- Narrated by: Kelly Cutrone
- Length: 3 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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With Normal Gets You Nowhere, Kelly Cutrone invites us to get our freak on. History is full of successful, world-changing people who did not fit in. Think Nelson Mandela, Joan of Arc, Eleanor Roosevelt, Amelia Earhart, John Lennon, and Rosa Parks. Instead of changing themselves to accommodate the status quo or what others thought they should be, these people hung a light on their differences - and changed humanity in the process. “I know you don’t feel normal, so why are you trying to act it and prove to everyone you are?” Cutrone says.
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For open minds and hearts.
- By Kelly on 01-06-12
By: Kelly Cutrone
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She Memes Well
- By: Quinta Brunson
- Narrated by: Quinta Brunson
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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From comedian Quinta Brunson (creator and star of Abbott Elementary) comes a deeply personal and funny collection of essays about trying to make it when you're struggling, the importance of staying true to your roots, and how she's redefined humor online. In her debut essay collection, Quinta applies her trademark humor and heart to discuss what it was like to go from a girl who loved the World Wide Web to a girl whose face launched a thousand memes. This special Audible edition includes never-before-heard details about the making of Abbott Elementary.
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That moment you know you’re a TEACHER…
- By chrissybrown on 09-19-22
By: Quinta Brunson
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Funny How It Works Out
- By: Manon Mathews
- Narrated by: Manon Mathews
- Length: 6 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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For comedian and content creator Manon Mathews, comedy is life. But it took more than luck for her hilarious antics on Vine to open the door to her career. It took years of routinely embarrassing herself, improv classes, some stints as an amateur stand-up comic, unrelenting dedication, and one life-altering night out that forced her to change her ways. This set her on the path to manifesting her dream life.
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Excellent book!
- By cinematicashley on 11-18-20
By: Manon Mathews
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Things No One Else Can Teach Us
- Turning Losses into Lessons
- By: Humble the Poet
- Narrated by: Humble the Poet
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Every one of us endures setbacks, disappointments, and failures that can incapacitate us. But we don’t have to let them. Instead, we can use these events as opportunities for growth. In Things No One Else Can Teach Us, Humble the Poet flips the conventional script for happiness and success, showing us how our most painful experiences can be our greatest teachers.
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HTP’S STORY AND LESSONS LEARNED
- By jaga on 11-04-19
By: Humble the Poet
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Every Day I'm Hustling
- By: Vivica A. Fox, Kevin Carr O'Leary
- Narrated by: Vivica A. Fox
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Vivica A. Fox is a dynamo who has created a lasting career on her own, through sheer, roll-up-your-sleeves DIY hustle. Every Day I'm Hustling is a personal book with a message Fox passionately believes in: that you make your own luck, that you never ever wake up in the morning thinking somebody's going to call you and offer you that part or ask you out on that date that's going to change your life, that you have to wake up and put on your longest eyelashes and fiercest heels and go out and make your life happen yourself.
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Loved it!
- By colette on 04-09-18
By: Vivica A. Fox, and others
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Cunt (20th Anniversary Edition)
- By: Inga Muscio
- Narrated by: Inga Muscio
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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In this fully revised anniversary edition of the classic testament to women's empowerment, Muscio explores with candidness and humor such traditional feminist issues as birth control, sexuality, jealousy between women, and prostitution with a fresh attitude for a new generation of women. Sending out a call for every woman to be the "Cuntlovin' Ruler of Her Sexual Universe", Muscio stands convention on its head by embracing the provocative and celebrating womanhood.
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Best book ever
- By Paula Daniels on 07-28-19
By: Inga Muscio
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Ziwe made a name for herself by asking guests like Alyssa Milano, Fran Lebowitz, and Chet Hanks direct questions. In Black Friend, she turns her incisive perspective on both herself and the culture at large. Throughout the book, Ziwe combines pop-culture commentary and personal stories that grapple with her own (mis)understanding of identity. From a hilarious case of mistaken identity via a jumbotron to a terrifying fight-or-flight encounter in the woods, Ziwe raises difficult questions for comedic relief.
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The Awkward Thoughts of W. Kamau Bell
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You may know W. Kamau Bell from his new Emmy-nominated hit show on CNN, United Shades of America. Or maybe you've read about him in The New York Times, which called him "the most promising new talent in political comedy in many years." Or maybe from The New Yorker fawning over his brand of humor writing: "Bell's gimmick is intersectional progressivism: he treats racial, gay, and women's issues as inseparable."
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How to American
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Jimmy O. Yang is a stand-up comedian, film and TV actor and fan favorite as the character Jian Yang from the popular HBO series Silicon Valley. In How to American, he shares his story of growing up as a Chinese immigrant who pursued a Hollywood career against the wishes of his parents: Yang arrived in Los Angeles from Hong Kong at age 13, learned English by watching BET's Rap City for three hours a day, and worked as a strip club DJ while pursuing his comedy career.
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Had to pull over I was laughing so hard
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Jia Tolentino is a peerless voice of her generation, tackling the conflicts, contradictions, and sea changes that define us and our time. Now, in this dazzling collection of nine entirely original essays, written with a rare combination of give and sharpness, wit and fearlessness, she delves into the forces that warp our vision, demonstrating an unparalleled stylistic potency and critical dexterity.
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Couldn’t stop listening
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Hey you guys, it’s Leslie. I’m excited to share my story with you. Now, I’m gonna be honest: Some of the details might be vague because a b*tch is fifty-five and she’s smoked a ton of weed. But while bits might be a touch hazy, I can promise you the underlying truth is REAL.
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she's the f*cking BEST
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Yearbook
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Hi! I’m Seth! I was asked to describe my audiobook, Yearbook for websites and shit like that, so...here it goes!!! Yearbook is a collection of true stories that I desperately hope are just funny at worst, and life-changingly amazing at best. (I understand that it’s likely the former, which is a fancy “book” way of saying “the first one.”) I talk about my grandparents, doing stand-up comedy as a teenager, bar mitzvahs, and Jewish summer camp, and tell way more stories about doing drugs than my mother would like.
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Good until it turned political
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Born Standing Up
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In the mid-70s, Steve Martin exploded onto the comedy scene. By 1978 he was the biggest concert draw in the history of stand-up. In 1981 he quit forever. Born Standing Up is, in his own words, the story of "why I did stand-up and why I walked away".
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Fantastic
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What listeners say about Please Don't Sit on My Bed in Your Outside Clothes
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- ves
- 07-26-22
Sista Girl
Enjoyed the narration and similarity of experiences, especially 4C hair. Everyone is different, I could have left off some of the language. But this is the times we are in. I've heard the thought process of clothes on the bed, Disagree. Still not doing to it!
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- Alexandrial H
- 11-07-21
Funny and Insightful
I have been trying to read/listen to more books and this was the perfect start! Phoebe uses her humor to make insightful points that can really resonate with black women. A must read if you want to laugh and also nod in agreement.
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- L. Sharif
- 09-29-23
Entertaining!
Finally a book from someone who is obsessed with U2 and Bono as I am. Great stories full of adventure and hilariousness!
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- Eire Stewart
- 01-24-22
Worth it for the Tips Warren Buffet Didn't Teach!
There is a lot to like about this set of essays. On the whole, there is an intimate feel, like having a conversation with a close friend. I did find it ironic that the same woman who bristled at a wealthy friend poking the author over a knock off dress purchased at Macy's would shame women over not wearing matching bras and panties (I'm not giving up my favorite undies for you or anyone else) like that's low rent, but well worth the listen for the other truths this book offers.
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- Book Addict
- 09-08-22
Excellent read with topics on EVERYTHING
I got this book STRICTLY for the title since i thought it was something only my daughter and I had an issue with. I'm so glad I read the book for ALL its content. This book is both humorous, thought-provoking and full of research. It's great that it's read by the hilarious author. I dont think I could have gotten the inflections correct in my head.
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- MagnusTheRed
- 09-30-21
Phoebe the Queen
She has written another piece that makes readers explore biases, ignorance, and the humor in how trash the world continues to be. She is an amazing writer and speaks to the necessity of lifting up Black and POC writers and acknowledging their lived experiences. I have been so excited about this book’s release and can’t wait to listen to it again. The need for Phoebs is very real!
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7 people found this helpful
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- Samantha Gates
- 08-07-24
Witt and humor!
Ezcellent book! I love her real and relatable candor, humor and many examples truly resonate with some season of my life. I've recommended to my sisters and friends with all curl pattern types!
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- vonna
- 09-28-22
beautiful awesomeness 👌🏽
I was hooked just from the title due to me saying the same thing "don't sit on my bed in your outside clothes" I thought I was weird for saying it, now I know I'm not alone. I truly enjoyed this book more than any others I've listened to. Thank you Phoebe and audible
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- NJ Mom
- 11-01-21
So smart and funny.
I love Phoebe Robinson’s perspective. She is incredibly wise and as we learn we laugh.
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- Kamesha Muggins
- 03-25-23
Phoebe Robinson is my spirit animal
The end. I'm only writing one because it is a requirement prior to submitting my review. But the title states what I wanted express with this review. Thanks 😊
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