You Can't Touch My Hair
And Other Things I Still Have to Explain
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Narrated by:
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Phoebe Robinson
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John Hodgman
About this listen
A New York Times Best Seller
"A must-read...Phoebe Robinson discusses race and feminism in such a funny, real, and specific way, it penetrates your brain and stays with you." (Ilana Glazer, cocreator and costar of Broad City)
A hilarious and timely essay collection about race, gender, and pop culture from upcoming comedy superstar and 2 Dope Queens podcaster Phoebe Robinson
Being a black woman in America means contending with old prejudices and fresh absurdities every day. Comedian Phoebe Robinson has experienced her fair share over the years: She's been unceremoniously relegated to the role of "the black friend", as if she is somehow the authority on all things racial; she's been questioned about her love of U2 and Billy Joel ("isn't that...white people music?"); she's been called "uppity" for having an opinion in the workplace; she's been followed around stores by security guards; and yes, people do ask her whether they can touch her hair all. The. Time. Now she's ready to take these topics to audio - and she's going to make you laugh as she's doing it.
Using her trademark wit alongside pop-culture references galore, Robinson explores everything from why Lisa Bonet is "Queen. Bae. Jesus" to breaking down the terrible nature of casting calls to giving her less-than-traditional advice to the future female president and demanding that the NFL clean up its act, all told in the same conversational voice that launched her podcast, 2 Dope Queens, to the top spot on iTunes. As personal as it is political, You Can't Touch My Hair examines our cultural climate and skewers our biases with humor and heart, announcing Robinson as a writer on the rise.
One of Glamour's "Top 10 Books of 2016"
Featured on Refinery 29's list of "The Best Books of 2016 So Far"
Read by the author, and featuring additional narration by Jessica Williams and John Hodgson
©2016 Phoebe Robinson (P)2016 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
Featured in NPR Weekend Edition, New York Magazine, Refinery 29, and Cosmo
“A must-read.... Phoebe Robinson discusses race and feminism in such a funny, real, and specific way, it penetrates your brain and stays with you.” (Ilana Glazer, co-creator and costar of Broad City)
“Phoebe Robinson has a way of casually, candidly rough-housing with tough topics like race and sex and gender that makes you feel a little safer and a lot less alone. If something as wise and funny as You Can't Touch My Hair exists in the world, we can't all be doomed. Phoebe is my hero and this book is my wife.” (Lindy West, New York Times best-selling author of Shrill)
“You Can't Touch My Hair is the book we need right now. Robinson makes us think about race and feminism in new ways, thanks to her whip-smart comedy and expert use of a pop culture reference. The future is very bright because Robinson and her book are in it.” (Jill Soloway, creator of Transparent)
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Story
In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls.
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Shopping for Men at the Wrong Mall
- By Pamela Harvey on 01-02-13
By: Julie Klausner
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BRAVE
- By: Rose McGowan
- Narrated by: Rose McGowan
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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In a strange world where Rose McGowan was continually on display, stardom soon became a personal nightmare of constant exposure and sexualization. Rose escaped into the world of her mind, something she had done as a child, and into high-profile relationships. Every detail of her personal life became public, and the realities of an inherently sexist industry emerged with every script, role, public appearance, and magazine cover. The Hollywood machine packaged her as a sexualized bombshell, hijacking her image and identity and marketing them.
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I always wondered what it was like to be Rose
- By Bobbie J Daniel on 03-01-18
By: Rose McGowan
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Off with My Head
- The Definitive Basic B*tch Handbook to Surviving Rock Bottom
- By: Stassi Schroeder
- Narrated by: Stassi Schroeder
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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The year 2020 was going to be the best year of Stassi’s life. Besides getting engaged and feeling like she was on top of the world career-wise, she bought her first house and was planning her dream Italian wedding. The future showed so much freaking promise—until it all went to hell. Stassi may not be perfect—she may have made some (major) mistakes—but she does feel like she has some insight (and plenty of hilarious tales) about getting knocked up, called out, and learning from what went wrong.
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Really Wanted to Like This, But...
- By Cathie on 08-09-23
By: Stassi Schroeder
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Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
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Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
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The Wrong End of the Table
- A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In
- By: Ayser Salman, Reza Aslan - foreword
- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
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Not what I was looking for
- By Amazon Customer on 09-01-22
By: Ayser Salman, and others
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The Diva Rules
- Ditch the Drama, Find Your Strength, and Sparkle Your Way to the Top
- By: Michelle Visage
- Narrated by: Michelle Visage
- Length: 3 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Michelle Visage is not your average diva. Powerful, positive, and polished, this diva's not only glamorous, she's a savvy businesswoman with serious credentials who works her tail off. From her days vogueing in the downtown Manhattan clubs in the '90s to her successful career in radio and her ultimate cult status as a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race, Michelle has achieved her dreams and then some!
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A Whole Lot of Nothing
- By teal on 04-29-16
By: Michelle Visage
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Dirty Thirty
- By: Asa Akira
- Narrated by: Veronica Worthington
- Length: 5 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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As she contemplates turning 30 years old while still being in the adult film trade, Asa Akira, author of the best-seller Insatiable, delves into her past, present, and future, exploring the events that brought her to where she is now and the surprising and insightful plans she has for her future. Internationally known as a porn star, Akira's perceptive, funny, and straightforward writings on love, sex, death, marriage, and celebrity come together in a surprising book of essays.
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this was fun I'm going to buy her other book 2
- By Sir Lawrence on 01-09-19
By: Asa Akira
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Feminists Don't Wear Pink and Other Lies
- Amazing Women on What the F-Word Means to Them
- By: Scarlett Curtis - curator
- Narrated by: Rosie Akerman, Pippa Bennett-Warner, Grace Campbell, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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A diverse group of celebrities, activists, and artists open up about what feminism means to them, with the goal of helping listeners come to their own personal understanding of the word.
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4.5/5 Estrellas
- By Airy on 01-27-21
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Lose Well
- By: Chris Gethard
- Narrated by: Chris Gethard
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Let’s face it: we all want a seat at the cool table, a great job, and loads of money. But most of us won’t be able to achieve this widely accepted, black-or-white, definition of winning, which makes us feel like failures, that we’re destined to a life of loserdom. That’s the conventional wisdom. It’s also crap, according to comedian and cult hero Chris Gethard, who knows a thing of two about losing. Failing is an art form, he argues; in fact, it’s the only the way we’re ever going to discover who we are, what we really want, and how to live the kind of life we only dreamed about.
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WHAT A LOSER
- By Amazon Customer on 01-26-19
By: Chris Gethard
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Tied Up in Knots
- How Getting What They Wanted Has Made Women Miserable
- By: Andrea Tantaros
- Narrated by: Andrea Tantaros
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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In this shocking, funny, and bluntly honest tour of today's gender discontents, Andrea Tantaros, one of Fox News' most popular and outspoken stars, exposes how the rightful feminist pursuit of equality went too far, and how the unintended pitfalls of that power trade have made women (and men!) miserable.
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Not What I Thought It Would Be
- By Kevin on 05-06-16
By: Andrea Tantaros
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Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- By: Charles McDowell
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
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An Enjoyable Listen
- By Elle W on 11-05-13
By: Charles McDowell
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Challenge Accepted!
- 253 Steps to Becoming an Anti-It Girl
- By: Celeste Barber
- Narrated by: Celeste Barber
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Part memoir, part comedy routine, part advice manual, Challenge Accepted! is Celeste at her best, revealing her secrets to love, friendship, family, and marriage (oh hai, #hothusband), and how to deal with life’s many challenges - why she checks the bath for sharks, how Nutella quite literally shaped who she is as a woman, and why being famous on Instagram is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s real, like totally, really real.
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Prepare to crack up in the grocery store
- By Chicago_Mama on 05-30-19
By: Celeste Barber
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He's a Stud, She's a Slut, and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know
- By: Jessica Valenti
- Narrated by: Julie McKay
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Double standards are nothing new. Women deal with them every day. Take the common truism that women who sleep around are sluts while men are studs. Why is it that men grow distinguished and sexily gray as they age while women just get saggy and haggard? Have you ever wondered how a young woman is supposed to both virginal and provocatively enticing at the same time?
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A well acted intro to feminist consciousness
- By Amazon Customer on 02-28-24
By: Jessica Valenti
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What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker
- A Memoir in Essays
- By: Damon Young
- Narrated by: Damon Young
- Length: 8 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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For Damon Young, existing while Black is an extreme sport. The act of possessing Black skin while searching for space to breathe in America is enough to induce a ceaseless state of angst where questions such as “How should I react here, as a professional black person?” and “Will this white person’s potato salad kill me?” are forever relevant. What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker chronicles Young’s efforts to survive while battling and making sense of the various neuroses his country has given him.
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Reviewed by a B![c# @$$ White Boy
- By netusera on 04-13-19
By: Damon Young
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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As If!
- The Oral History of Clueless, as Told by Amy Heckerling, the Cast, and the Crew
- By: Jen Chaney
- Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie
- Length: 9 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Will we ever get tired of watching Cher navigate Beverly Hills High School and discover true love in the movie Clueless? As if! Written by Amy Heckerling and starring Alicia Silverstone, Clueless is an enduring comedy classic that remains one of the most streamed movies on Netflix, Amazon, and iTunes even 20 years after its release. In the first book of its kind, Jen Chaney has compiled an oral history of the making of this iconic film using recollections and insights collected from key cast and crew members.
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Awesome book, awful narrator.
- By Anonymous on 08-08-15
By: Jen Chaney
What listeners say about You Can't Touch My Hair
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- bargain lover
- 11-11-16
Thank you Phoebe!!
I really enjoyed this book. As I listened to it, I experienced a full range of emotions; everything from laughter to anger to pride. I want so many of my friends to listen/read this as well. I will be encouraging them to do so. I will definitely listen again. Thanks Phoebe for articulating things the way you do.
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- ls
- 12-15-16
Do you need relief?
This book came in to me at the right moment. Which is to say, my life was falling apart and this book made me laugh. Not that I expected less from Phoebe, if anything I knew this listen would be clutch in an crap situation. I recommend without reservation even if your life circumstances are far from sad. It's funny and crass, and also an education. So do it. Get this book. Do it now.
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- Anonymous User
- 02-10-18
Phoebe is the best
She is the best, I love her a lot and everyone should listen to the audiobook!!!!
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- PK1448
- 01-09-18
Great book she is quite funny!
I just wish authors that are reading the book would be coached to speak a little slower, it's hard to understand when audible.
I really liked that when she talked about black verses white that it wasn't the poor me syndrome like another book I just read. I grew up white and privileged and can still tell stories just as tragic. We all have our story and she told hers quite well!!
I am a little older and didn't know who she was but glad I chose it. I think it was the hair intro! LOL
I love all colors as long as they are good people.
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- CMM
- 12-04-18
Engaging
Phoebe Robinson is a fantastic story teller however not much stuck with me from this book. It has been about a month since I listened to this read and while I remember moments where I was laughing out loud, I can't quite recall at what or any specific stories from this book. I know I was highly entertained while on a road trip because of this book but it was not a stand out story even if it was a stand out performance.
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- TallulahTech
- 12-01-17
Amazing book for everyone
What made the experience of listening to You Can't Touch My Hair the most enjoyable?
Phoebe dives into tough topics with her unique voice and hilarious humor. This book is great for everyone. People who want to hear familiar stories or people who want to hear different perspectives on the world we share will enjoy this. You will walk away from from this book with more knowledge and perspective. Phoebe keeps a positive vibe, filled with humor, pop culture references, and Bono.
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- Ella
- 01-17-21
Relatable, Funny, and Deep!
Loved it! Phoebe expressed my feelings on issues to a tee. Like having my private comedy show.
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- Whitney Civitarese
- 07-08-20
I <3 Her!
Her style of comedy is exactly what I need in my life. Weird, Nerdy, Random, and Lovely.
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- Buki Ajayi
- 07-26-20
I loved listening to this book!
It had been on my to- read list for a long time and I'm glad I did!
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- DLR
- 08-19-18
Hilarious and Necessary...
As a smart and "articulate" black girl who also grew up in Ohio and now lives in NYC, I could relate to everything you wrote about what it means to be a black woman living in America. Thank you for sharing your experiences and for giving voice to so much of what we feel, but do not have the words nor platform to explain. Wishing you continued laughs and success!
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