Preview
  • Promises, Promises

  • A Romp with Plenty of Dykes, a Unicorn, an Ogre, an Oracle, a Quest, a Princess, and True Love with a Happily Ever After
  • By: L-J Baker
  • Narrated by: Kitty Hendrix
  • Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
  • 4.3 out of 5 stars (112 ratings)

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Promises, Promises

By: L-J Baker
Narrated by: Kitty Hendrix
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Publisher's summary

A talking pearl earring. A gleaming white unicorn. A flower from an ogre.

Sandy Blunt, a witch, has big dreams but C-average magic skills. Her only noteworthy talent is for paying extravagant compliments to women. Trouble is, when she uses that gift, she unwittingly foretells the future for a pretty princess. And, the punishment for prophesying about one of royal blood is death...

With the help of ill-assorted companions - including a self-proclaimed princess in disguise, a self-absorbed member of the royal guard, and the not-so-average girl next door - Sandy has a year and a day to travel to far-flung places, collecting the weird and magical items needed to turn her prophecies into promises and evade the executioner. Along the way, she encounters such dangerous creatures as a dragon who writes awful poetry, slovenly elves, and boarding house landladies.

©2011 LJ Baker (P)2013 LJ Baker
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Categories: LGBTQ+
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What listeners say about Promises, Promises

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    65
  • 4 Stars
    27
  • 3 Stars
    10
  • 2 Stars
    6
  • 1 Stars
    4
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
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    60
  • 4 Stars
    26
  • 3 Stars
    17
  • 2 Stars
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    3
Story
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    60
  • 4 Stars
    26
  • 3 Stars
    14
  • 2 Stars
    4
  • 1 Stars
    4

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Cute story, maybe a little too self-aware.

The premise was fun, the characters were amusing. The story veered at times into overly clever inversions of typical pulp fantasy tropes, often belaboring the point until it wasn't funny anymore.

The narrator brought life to the characters, but occasionally her pacing was strange, frequently blowing through what were probably sub-chapter boundaries (abrupt scene changes or spans of elapsed time) without a pause to allow the listener to make the mental recognition of the transition.

Overall, though, I enjoyed the book and would read more by this author.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Funny and enjoyable

I laughed often listening to this book. It’s a wild and unrealistic journey but worth every minute.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Better Without The Audio

Would you listen to Promises, Promises again? Why?

Yes. Even though I'm not a van of the performance, I thought that the story was very good with some pretty funny moments.

What did you like best about this story?

The comic timing was pretty good. I got a good laugh out of every chapter.

What aspect of Kitty Hendrix’s performance would you have changed?

Better voice variation.

If you could take any character from Promises, Promises out to dinner, who would it be and why?

Drusilla. She was the most entertaining.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

it was ok

its was funny and sarcastic and the characters charming but theres nothing deep in this book not that I expected there to be but it was enjoyable for a quick listen. I wouldn't spend money or credits on it tho thankfully it's free if u have Escape

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Utterly hilarious and fantastic!

If you're like me and have been leaving this book on the back of your shelf or wishlist thinking you'll get around to it...get around to it. It's everything promised, an all around feel good read that will have you chuckling throughout. I was literally smiling the entire time I listened to this. Very well written and brilliantly preformed. I'm actually going to gift this to several people this holiday season.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Pretty good

The story was pretty good. A fun fantasy romp. I would’ve enjoyed it even more and may have given it 5 stars if the narrator had different voices for each of the characters. It would’ve made it easier to listen to without constantly hearing blah blah said over and over again.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious and clever!

Highly amusing. I loved how the author, in a very blatant tongue-in-cheek manner, worked in the political diatribe and cameos. The romantic pairings were sweet and perfect. All together an excellent book I would enjoy reading more than once, which is my hugest compliment.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Best thing ever!

You must read or listen to this book! So amazing. I have listened to this book over and over again. So hilarious and inventive . Please L-J another installment? I do loved this!

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious, fluffy fun

Would you consider the audio edition of Promises, Promises to be better than the print version?

I haven't read the print version but I would probably find that the audio edition is more entertaining if I had.

What did you like best about this story?

The lighthearted way it makes fun of itself and the genre.

What about Kitty Hendrix’s performance did you like?

Every character has it's own voice and characteristics. Her voice fits the book.

Any additional comments?

I wish LJ Baker would write more books like this one. I have listened to it twice and enjoyed the book both times.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious!!!!!

I love this book. It’s super cheesy and fun. Hysterical and over the top. The characters break the fourth wall along the way. There is commentary on writing style as well. The narrator is perfect. Take the ⏰. It is well worth it.

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1 person found this helpful