
Punpkins for Cheap
A Grotesque Horror, Novelette
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed

Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $6.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Ronald Young
-
By:
-
Sea Caummisar
About this listen
Just in time for Halloween! Trick or treat?
The first story is the trick.
The second story is the treat.
Punpkins for Cheap
This book should never be listened to by anyone. It's gross and immature. It's almost as if a small child wrote it. If you enjoy poorly written dark humor, you might like this book. I mean, there's a chapter titled "Tampons Are Not Yummy". So use your imagination as to what kind of story this is.
This book will get bad reviews (if anyone ever listens to it). I expect that. If I had to review it, I would say it was the dumbest book I have ever heard/wrote. However, it does make me laugh. (Oh yeah, it's kinda gross too.) At least it's short.
Plus, it could be scary. What if maggots evolved and wanted to take over the world? A maggot has invaded Jimbo's brain. The maggot has plans to make baby maggots and sell them inside jack-o-lanterns.
Plus a bonus story titled "Them Bones".
"Them Bones" is the most disturbing story I have ever written. It is true body horror! Probably one of the most twisted and bloodiest stories I have ever written. No spoilers, but it's about a man who falls in love with a skeleton. The skeleton asks him to make her pretty.
Proceed with caution.
Mature audiences only two extreme short stories.
©2019 Sea Caummisar (P)2020 Sea CaummisarListeners also enjoyed...
-
Gambler's Appetite of Remorse (Games)
- By: Sea Caummisar
- Narrated by: Harry Roger Williams III
- Length: 2 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jon's gambling habit is out of control. Not only has he lost all of his money, he also lost his sanity. His wife is not happy with him, since they have no money for food. Jon finds a new way of life which enables him to find free food. (He gets very creative.) Every time he "finds" money, he takes it back to the casino, only to lose it again. Then he gets resourceful in finding a source of entertainment. Such as kidnapping people and making them gamble for blood.
-
-
Good gravy.
- By Becky on 01-16-24
By: Sea Caummisar
-
100% Match
- By: Patrick C. Harrison III
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 1 hr and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Bart is 30. He is bald. He is overweight. He wears glasses. He is a fry cook. He hates cats. And kids. Bart occasionally does very bad things. He is looking for his perfect match. He has done his research.
-
-
Not what I was expecting
- By Juan Angel on 02-05-24
-
Here Comes Santa Claus
- By: Edward Lee
- Narrated by: Sean Walpole
- Length: 1 hr and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Flying off course during a horrific storm, Santa and his reindeers find themselves within a grim situation.
-
-
Loved it!
- By Richard Jackson on 12-17-24
By: Edward Lee
-
The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires
- By: Grady Hendrix
- Narrated by: Bahni Turpin
- Length: 13 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Patricia Campbell's life has never felt smaller. Her ambitious husband is too busy to give her a goodbye kiss in the morning, her kids have their own lives, her senile mother-in-law needs constant care, and she's always a step behind on thank-you notes and her endless list of chores. The one thing she has to look forward to is her book club, a close-knit group of Charleston women united by their love of true crime and paperback fiction. At these meetings they're as likely to talk about the Manson family as they are marriage, motherhood, and neighborhood gossip.
-
-
Not my cup of tea
- By NorthernPerson on 04-21-20
By: Grady Hendrix
-
Tender Is the Flesh
- By: Agustina Bazterrica
- Narrated by: Joseph Balderrama
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Working at the local processing plant, Marcos is in the business of slaughtering humans - though no one calls them that anymore. His wife has left him, his father is sinking into dementia, and Marcos tries not to think too hard about how he makes a living. After all, it happened so quickly. First, it was reported that an infectious virus has made all animal meat poisonous to humans. Then governments initiated the "Transition". Now, eating human meat - "special meat" - is legal. Marcos tries to stick to numbers, consignments, processing.
-
-
Uhhhhhhh....
- By Josh E. on 12-05-20
-
The Last House on Needless Street
- By: Catriona Ward
- Narrated by: Christopher Ragland
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a boarded-up house on a dead-end street at the edge of the wild Washington woods lives a family of three. A teenage girl who isn’t allowed outside, not after last time. A man who drinks alone in front of his TV, trying to ignore the gaps in his memory. And a house cat who loves napping and reading the Bible. An unspeakable secret binds them together, but when a new neighbor moves in next door, what is buried out among the birch trees may come back to haunt them all.
-
-
I can only listen in 1-2 hour segments!
- By Brenda on 10-04-21
By: Catriona Ward
-
Gambler's Appetite of Remorse (Games)
- By: Sea Caummisar
- Narrated by: Harry Roger Williams III
- Length: 2 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jon's gambling habit is out of control. Not only has he lost all of his money, he also lost his sanity. His wife is not happy with him, since they have no money for food. Jon finds a new way of life which enables him to find free food. (He gets very creative.) Every time he "finds" money, he takes it back to the casino, only to lose it again. Then he gets resourceful in finding a source of entertainment. Such as kidnapping people and making them gamble for blood.
-
-
Good gravy.
- By Becky on 01-16-24
By: Sea Caummisar
-
100% Match
- By: Patrick C. Harrison III
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 1 hr and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Bart is 30. He is bald. He is overweight. He wears glasses. He is a fry cook. He hates cats. And kids. Bart occasionally does very bad things. He is looking for his perfect match. He has done his research.
-
-
Not what I was expecting
- By Juan Angel on 02-05-24
-
Here Comes Santa Claus
- By: Edward Lee
- Narrated by: Sean Walpole
- Length: 1 hr and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Flying off course during a horrific storm, Santa and his reindeers find themselves within a grim situation.
-
-
Loved it!
- By Richard Jackson on 12-17-24
By: Edward Lee
-
The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires
- By: Grady Hendrix
- Narrated by: Bahni Turpin
- Length: 13 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Patricia Campbell's life has never felt smaller. Her ambitious husband is too busy to give her a goodbye kiss in the morning, her kids have their own lives, her senile mother-in-law needs constant care, and she's always a step behind on thank-you notes and her endless list of chores. The one thing she has to look forward to is her book club, a close-knit group of Charleston women united by their love of true crime and paperback fiction. At these meetings they're as likely to talk about the Manson family as they are marriage, motherhood, and neighborhood gossip.
-
-
Not my cup of tea
- By NorthernPerson on 04-21-20
By: Grady Hendrix
-
Tender Is the Flesh
- By: Agustina Bazterrica
- Narrated by: Joseph Balderrama
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Working at the local processing plant, Marcos is in the business of slaughtering humans - though no one calls them that anymore. His wife has left him, his father is sinking into dementia, and Marcos tries not to think too hard about how he makes a living. After all, it happened so quickly. First, it was reported that an infectious virus has made all animal meat poisonous to humans. Then governments initiated the "Transition". Now, eating human meat - "special meat" - is legal. Marcos tries to stick to numbers, consignments, processing.
-
-
Uhhhhhhh....
- By Josh E. on 12-05-20
-
The Last House on Needless Street
- By: Catriona Ward
- Narrated by: Christopher Ragland
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a boarded-up house on a dead-end street at the edge of the wild Washington woods lives a family of three. A teenage girl who isn’t allowed outside, not after last time. A man who drinks alone in front of his TV, trying to ignore the gaps in his memory. And a house cat who loves napping and reading the Bible. An unspeakable secret binds them together, but when a new neighbor moves in next door, what is buried out among the birch trees may come back to haunt them all.
-
-
I can only listen in 1-2 hour segments!
- By Brenda on 10-04-21
By: Catriona Ward
-
Black River Orchard
- A Novel
- By: Chuck Wendig
- Narrated by: Xe Sands, Brittany Pressley, Sean Patrick Hopkins, and others
- Length: 22 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s autumn in the town of Harrow, but something besides the season is changing there. Because in that town there is an orchard, and in that orchard, seven most unusual trees. And from those trees grows a new sort of apple: strange, beautiful, with skin so red it’s nearly black. Take a bite of one of these apples, and you will desire only to devour another. And another. You will become stronger. More vital. More yourself, you will believe. But then your appetite for the apples and their peculiar gifts will keep growing—and become darker.
-
-
Points for originality but…
- By kisa on 11-09-23
By: Chuck Wendig
-
Roe V. Wade: An Extreme Horror
- By: Matt Shaw
- Narrated by: Matt Shaw
- Length: 1 hr and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The year is 2032, and five-year-old Jacob is opening the biggest gift, beneath the Christmas tree, which is labeled for him: his very first semi-automatic rifle—and he couldn't be prouder. He smiles to his parents who sit close by. They don't smile back. Their minds are stuck on earlier events of what should have been a magical day: the moment they found out Jacob was set to be a brother.
-
-
As intense & unsettling as it should be
- By Michelle Mendoza on 01-02-25
By: Matt Shaw
-
Skin Folk
- Stories
- By: Nalo Hopkinson
- Narrated by: Bahni Turpin
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Skin Folk, with works ranging from science fiction to Caribbean folklore, passionate love to chilling horror, Nalo Hopkinson is at her award-winning best spinning tales like "Precious", in which the narrator spews valuable coins and gems from her mouth whenever she attempts to talk or sing. In "A Habit of Waste", a self-conscious woman undergoes elective surgery to alter her appearance; days later she's shocked to see her former body climbing onto a public bus.
-
-
mindblowingly exquisite!!!
- By Amazon Customer on 12-23-20
By: Nalo Hopkinson
-
When Darkness Loves Us
- Paperbacks from Hell
- By: Elizabeth Engstrom
- Narrated by: Karly Hutchins
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sally Ann and Martha. Two women, searching for love. Finding terror. During a terrifying storm, a gentle childhood is destroyed by a twisted man who promises love but delivers nightmare. In the lightless depths of an underground labyrinth, unseen creatures lie in wait for an innocent traveler, cold skeletal hands stretched out in welcome. There is horror in darkness - horror made greater when darkness loves us.
-
-
Loved it
- By timj26 on 04-30-23
-
The Laws of Nature
- A Collection of Short Stories of Horror, Anxiety, Tragedy and Loss
- By: Ashley Franz Holzmann
- Narrated by: Mr. Creepy Pasta
- Length: 3 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
There is a dark side to human nature that can be neither wished away nor completely mitigated. Ashley Franz Holzmann details just several of these laws in his introduction to The Laws of Nature: A Collection of Short Stories of Horror, Anxiety, Tragedy and Loss before taking his readers on a journey through the bizarre, the terrifying, and, ultimately, the disturbingly real truths that underlie much of modern American life.
-
-
Mr. Creepy Pasta is an amazing voice for horror
- By Midwestbonsai on 04-04-16
-
Autobiography of a Fat Bride
- True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie Notaro tries painfully to make the transition from all-night partyer and bar-stool regular to mortgagee with plumbing problems and no air conditioning. Laurie finds grown-up life just as harrowing as her reckless youth, as she meets Mr. Right, moves in, settles down, and crosses the toe-stubbing threshold of matrimony.
-
-
Hilarious
- By MissSusie66 on 05-10-12
By: Laurie Notaro
-
How the One-Armed Sister Sweeps Her House
- A Novel
- By: Cherie Jones
- Narrated by: Danielle Vitalis
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Baxter’s Beach, Barbados, Lala’s grandmother Wilma tells the story of the one-armed sister. It’s a cautionary tale, about what happens to girls who disobey their mothers and go into the Baxter’s Tunnels. When she’s grown, Lala lives on the beach with her husband, Adan, a petty criminal with endless charisma whose thwarted burglary of one of the beach mansions sets off a chain of events with terrible consequences.
-
-
Depressing, Repetitive and Beautiful..
- By Wendi on 02-25-21
By: Cherie Jones
-
Ghost Summer
- Stories
- By: Tananarive Due
- Narrated by: Tananarive Due, Robin Miles, Janina Edwards
- Length: 13 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Whether weaving family life and history into dark fiction or writing speculative Afrofuturism, American Book Award winner and Essence best-selling author Tananarive Due’s work is both riveting and enlightening. In her debut collection of short fiction, Due takes us to Gracetown, a small Florida town that has both literal and figurative ghost; into future scenarios that seem all too real; and provides empathetic portraits of those whose lives are touched by otherness. Featuring an award-winning novella and 15 stories, Ghost Summer: Stories is sure to haunt and delight.
-
-
Tangled Earbuds 58
- By Mary A. Burrell on 01-21-21
By: Tananarive Due
-
Under the Water
- By: Paul Pen, Simon Bruni - translator
- Narrated by: James Daniels
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the outside, Frank and Grace seem to have the perfect family. He’s a loving husband, she’s a devoted wife, and together they have two happy children. But appearances can be deceiving. A strange series of misfortunes has left them reeling: an unexplained break-in, a catastrophic handgun accident, and a bizarre poisoning that’s left Grace feeling especially unnerved. Packing up their RV for a move across the country, they’re ready for a fresh start, expecting to leave all their problems safely behind.
-
-
Good syuff
- By Kindle V C on 10-12-19
By: Paul Pen, and others
-
Anoka
- A Collection of Indigenous Horror
- By: Shane Hawk
- Narrated by: Kyle Bullock
- Length: 2 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Welcome to Anoka, Minnesota, a small city just outside of the Twin Cities dubbed “The Halloween Capital of the World” since 1937. Here before you lie several tales involving bone collectors, pagan witches, werewolves, skeletal bison, and cloned children. It is up to you to decipher between fact and fiction as the author has woven historical facts into his narratives.
-
-
Intriguing Subgenre of Horror
- By T.F. Gibson on 01-10-21
By: Shane Hawk
-
Life of the Party
- Poems
- By: Olivia Gatwood
- Narrated by: Olivia Gatwood
- Length: 2 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lauded for the power of her writing and having attracted an online fan base of millions for her extraordinary spoken-word performances, Olivia Gatwood now weaves together her own coming-of-age with an investigation into our culture’s romanticization of violence against women. At times blistering and riotous, at times soulful and exuberant, Life of the Party explores the boundary between what is real and what is imagined in a life saturated with fear. Gatwood asks, How does a girl grow into a woman in a world racked by violence? Where is the line between perpetrator and victim?
-
-
I have no words
- By Nic on 08-30-19
By: Olivia Gatwood
-
A-Z of Horror: Complete Collection
- Fear from Beginning to End
- By: Iain Rob Wright
- Narrated by: Aubrey Parsons
- Length: 15 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
All 26 fiendish tales from the best-selling series, A-Z of Horror, by Iain Rob Wright. From neighbourhood yetis to military robots, this terrifying collection has it all and will leave you sleeping with the lights on!
-
-
This Guy is a Perve
- By Bob on 09-05-19
By: Iain Rob Wright
Listener received this title free
I listened to Audible version of this book. The narrator presented it very well.
It's funny. It's gross. It's disgusting. It's so entertaining. Thank goodness it's short.
Gross and Discusting
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.