100% Match
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Narrated by:
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Joe Hempel
About this listen
"What The One Minute Manager was to business, 100% Match is to relationships." (PC3 Books)
Bart is 30. He is bald. He is overweight. He wears glasses. He is a fry cook. He hates cats. And kids. Bart occasionally does very bad things. He is looking for his perfect match. He has done his research.
"Depraved, deranged, and blackly hilarious. PC3 does what he does best here, and doesn't hold back. I suspect 89.3% of you will love this story. The other 10.7% are humorless prudes." (Chris Miller, author of Dust and Dub-Town Blues)
"Vile, repulsive, and smart, with a kick-in-the-ass ending. You know, all the stuff we've come to love about PC3" (Rayne Havok, author of Necrosis)
"Get ready to squirm, cringe, and maybe even laugh! Patrick C. Harrison III's prose is as slick as it is sick, and 100% Match is one you won't want to miss. Especially if you're deranged and looking for love." (Judith Sonnet, author of No One Rides for Free)
"If you like your fiction sick and twisted, this one will be a 100% match for you. PC3 gives us a glimpse into the mind of the truly depraved, and despite the nature of spending time in such a nasty headspace, the story is entertaining as hell. Just don’t read it on a full stomach." (Robert Essig, author of The Circus Oasis and Tweaker Creatures)
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Freshly disengaged from her fiancé and feeling that life has not turned out quite the way she planned, 30-year-old Ruth quits her job, leaves town, and arrives at her parents' home to find that situation more complicated than she'd realized. Her father, a prominent history professor, is losing his memory and is only erratically lucid. Ruth's mother, meanwhile, is lucidly erratic.
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Hello Sweet Sweet Book
- By Syd Young on 08-06-17
By: Rachel Khong
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Autobiography of a Fat Bride
- True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie Notaro tries painfully to make the transition from all-night partyer and bar-stool regular to mortgagee with plumbing problems and no air conditioning. Laurie finds grown-up life just as harrowing as her reckless youth, as she meets Mr. Right, moves in, settles down, and crosses the toe-stubbing threshold of matrimony.
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Hilarious
- By MissSusie66 on 05-10-12
By: Laurie Notaro
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My Planet
- Finding Humor in the Oddest Places
- By: Mary Roach
- Narrated by: Angela Dawe
- Length: 4 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Follow New York Times best-selling author Mary Roach - but be careful not to trip - as she weaves through personal anecdotes and everyday musings riddled with her uncanny wit and amazingly analytical eye. These essays, which found a well-deserved home within the pages of Reader's Digest as the column "My Planet," detail the inner workings of hypochondriacs, hoarders, and compulsive cheapskates. (Did we mention neurotic interior designers and professional list makers?) For Roach, humor is hidden in the most unlikely places, which means that nothing is off limits.
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Narrator drove me crazy
- By Ann on 04-23-14
By: Mary Roach
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The Body in the Attic
- A Jazzi Zanders Mystery, Book 1
- By: Judi Lynn
- Narrated by: Devon Sorvari
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
House-flipper Jazzi Zanders and her cousin Jerod have found their latest project. The property, formerly owned by the late Cal Juniper, is filled with debris that must be cleared before the real renovation begins. But a trip to the attic reveals something more disturbing than forgotten garbage - a skeleton wearing a locket and rings that Jazzi recognizes. Tests confirm that the bones belong to Jazzi’s aunt Lynda, who everyone assumed moved to New York years ago after breaking up with Cal. Soon enough, the whole family is involved, sifting through memories and rumors....
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Entertaining
- By Beatrice on 07-04-19
By: Judi Lynn
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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*groan* spoilers below
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Kim White is a very popular cheerleader. She’s pretty, healthy, and comes from a well-off family. She has everything a girl of 16 is supposed to want. And she’s sick to death of it. In search of something to pull her out of her suicidal thoughts, she begrudgingly decides to lose her virginity, having heard it’s a life-changing event.
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Narrator On Fire!
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Disturbing but I couldn’t stop listening.
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If you have to read for Trigger Warnings slowly turn around and walk away!
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Red has tried to keep his nose clean but the sins of his past still haunt him. They’ve forced him back into the darkness—toward a life he’d hoped to leave behind. Now he has just four days to make things right.
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Enjoyed this!
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By no choice of his own, Harvey Sutton embarked on a life of crime. After spending years scrounging around in the gutter, he is seduced by a life-changing drug experience. A bad trip that pulls back the curtain of reality, leaving him with more questions than answers. The subsequent vision haunting his memory speaks to him, taking him on an odyssey of depravity, transgression, and violence.
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Highly recommend!!!
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Andy’s last day on Earth came sooner than he ever imagined. After becoming entangled in a random act of violence, what began as another mundane day in a cubicle, abruptly transitions into an otherworldly odyssey. This macabre and perverse journey shatters religious dogmas, answers impossible questions, and pulls back the curtain on man’s true and twisted purpose.
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Exactly what I expected, and I'm happy about that
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Modern Hysteria
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A mysterious internet figure, known only as Mr. Boy, is preying on depressed teenagers and brainwashing them into horrific acts of self-harm and suicide. The macabre message behind "The Dropout Challenge" is simple: Drop out of sight. Drop out of school. Drop out of society. Drop out of life altogether.
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Definitely a good story.
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By: Aron Beauregard
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Came with the Frame
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Art or atrocity? Francisco Booth is an infamous photographer known for pushing boundaries, yet it’s only the boundaries he pushes away from the public eye that satisfy his macabre appetite. But when he’s gifted an antique picture frame that contains a strange stock photo, Francisco’s life is suddenly turned upside down. Each time he looks at the picture, he sees something different. As the world around him grows more frightening and absurd, he finds himself questioning his sanity. Will the beautiful woman in the frame become his ultimate prize or the instrument of his undoing?
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Good disturbing listen
- By Destiny on 10-05-24
By: Aron Beauregard
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Ex-Boogeyman
- By: Kristopher Triana
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Story
As Nicky Hector—the unstoppable slasher from the Lunatic horror movie franchise—Jonathan Zain reached levels of fame once unimaginable to a young actor. On top of headlining fifteen films, he appeared on MTV, had his own 976 number, and became one of the most recognizable faces of the 1980s. But that was thirty years ago. Now it’s 2010, and Zain is a has-been celebrity making his living signing autographs at fan conventions, a relic of the bygone slasher movie boom.
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so 80s horror
- By Mdc on 11-06-24
What listeners say about 100% Match
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- AshleY
- 07-28-23
Why did I wait so long?!
I have had this sick little shorty on my list forever. I tend to go for audiobooks due to my schedule. So when I found out it was being released to Audible and I got the opportunity to listen, I jumped so fast! I am glad I did. I loved this little story. The statistics cracked me up. Bart’s got it all down, every stat you can imagine and where he stands. I would giggle every time “an incident” was mentioned. I felt the need to gag a few times, which is rare for me. It takes a lot to gross me out but Bart is just so gross and disgusting... I am thoroughly impressed and can’t wait to read more from Patrick. 100% Match is funny, vile and deranged. Joe’s narration is superb and I loved every second. The ending was great… did Bart find his match?? You know you want to know!!
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- draco malfoy
- 06-13-24
Lol that was wild!
I laughed,gagged and felt repulsed! It was a funny,weird and fulfilling short read! Warning..Don’t eat while listening
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- charie wyatt
- 07-26-24
👍🏽
i loved it. it was disturbing and had a twisted ending. very short so i listened to it twice for any missing parts i may have forgotten. definitely recommend listening to but its not for the weak
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- Amanda Hill
- 08-20-24
Sick and fun
I really enjoyed how short and gross and fun this was to listen to. I highly recommend it.
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- Juan Angel
- 02-05-24
Not what I was expecting
What a great modern horror story. Very disturbing (to say the least) with a bit of a predictable ending but totally gut-wrenching throughout.
It felt like a modern take on American Psycho's concept.
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- Robyn
- 04-05-24
strange and disturbing
as my title indicates this story is strange and disturbing as well as weird as hell
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- Amazon Customer
- 04-09-24
100% deliciously disturbing.
What the actual F did I just read? Beyond gross , incredibly disturbing, I can't count the number of times I almost threw up. It was phenomenal. I have never been so grossed out and completely captivated all at the same time. The voice actor is incredible. loved every second, the shock factor is perfect. Such a strange little story. I really enjoyed it.
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- Patrick R. McDonough
- 06-13-24
Gah!
Strongly suggest not eating while listening to this one!
Funny, off the wall, and well written.
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- Gary & Jay
- 06-11-24
Audible, I have ENJOYED this program!
SPOILER, MAYBE? I'm no Bart, but somehow I feel better about myself after listening...... And one of my favorite things is how he kept talking after he was dead.
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- Travis mocco
- 09-26-24
Vocal performance
Just not my bag. I can see where some people would dig it, the voice actor was great though. Could totally picture the main character throughout
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