Real Vampires Don't Sparkle
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Real Vampires Don't Sparkle
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Narrated by:
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James Patrick Cronin
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By:
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Amy Fecteau
About this listen
Matheus Taylor didn't ask to be murdered. To be fair, the percentage of people actually asking to be murdered is probably small enough to be safely ignored, but he felt it was worth stating regardless. His life might have been ordinary, but it was his life and he wasn't done with it yet.
Quin didn't care.
A 1,700-year-old Roman, Quintus Livius Saturnius had a different view of morality than most people. Killing Matheus and hijacking his undead existence seemed perfectly acceptable to him.
Now, Matheus spends his nights running for his life, questioning his sexual orientation, and defying a mysterious new threat to the vampires within his city. Not that he set out to do any defying; he just wanted to be left alone. Unfortunately, that was never going to happen.
Volume One of Real Vampires Don't Sparkle
Fans of Real Vampires Don't Sparkle should be sure to check out more titles from Curiosity Quills Press: Sweet Dreams Are Made of Teeth, by Richard Roberts: a fantasy coming-of-age story set in the world of our dreams, where a nightmare learns who he is - and who he loves.
The Devil You Know, by K. H.Koehler: an urban fantasy pulp/mystery series about demons, rogue angels, and a small group of people living in rural northeast Pennsylvania who are caught in the middle of an angelic war.
©2013 Amy Fecteau (P)2013 Audible Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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![Elantris (1 of 3) [Dramatized Adaptation] Audiobook By Brandon Sanderson cover art](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/519CVGFbJWL._SL320_.jpg)
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15 minutes in ..
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What listeners say about Real Vampires Don't Sparkle
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Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- s.Shimkus
- 03-29-21
Who doesn’t like a sassy vampire
Who doesn’t like a story about a sassy vampire working to protect his mate. The audio matches the book perfectly, and the ending makes you want to jump right into the next story. Quinn is prefect, and he wants to protect us his mate from the world so much but it doesn’t work out that way at all.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- casrock
- 04-20-21
Snarky Vampire Story
Well this was an unexpectedly funny read/listen. James did a great job with this narration and I cannot wait to see what is in store for Matheus and Quin. While their unlikely friendship and codependency starts off on poor terms for Matheus, I believe it is a good thing for him. I was not sure where this story was going, so it was a bit exciting when things just started happening kind of out of the blue and I really want to see where the story goes from here. I really like how Matheus approaches his heightened sexual feelings for Quin and what that may mean. I really like Bianca and Allistair and hope they are in the next books as well. Definitely an interesting read/listen.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Leo
- 12-02-19
Gorgeous Narration
4 Blue Flames
4 Blue Roses
Narrator James Patrick Cronin gorgeously delivered a paranormal romance consisting of all kinds of creatures and an unpredictable plot that will satisfy fans who are experts as a result of extensive reading or listening to books in this genre. In other words, for those sick humans like me, this series does qualify as a very good fix. (One that you can enjoy over and over again).
The third book was sexy as fuck and of course my favorite. My pavlovian responses kicked into overdrive every time Quin calls Matheus "Sunshine". This was the second round for me, and I think I laughed harder this time around.
Why the author don't continue the series eludes me.
I definitely recommend this series. I love that the books are longer, it makes the ride so much more worth it.
Happy Listening
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
- N Florida
- 08-16-19
One of my favorite vampire stories
Funny, snarky and bloody. A newly turned vampire, a 1700 year old vampire, begin an adventure that includes hunters, a father who's trying to reverse the vampires back to human. A power trip of the elders. Mayhem,intrigue and lots of blood and guts. I've listen to this series twice and will listen again and again.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Amazon User
- 05-12-20
Enjoyable Vampire story
It’s the first of three parts so the story does continue. Mattheus is turned by Quinn and gets a lesson on what it’s like to be a new vampire. Also learning about if he wants Quinn or not.
There is so much fun banter through this story. The narrator brings it all to life in an awesome way.
Recommended
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Leezard_Love
- 05-27-22
good narration, too long
While I enjoyed the narration and a good bit of the story, it failed to keep my interest. If it would have been a lot shorter I might have enjoyed it more. Worth a try though! Could also be that I wanted more romance in it.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- (Mimi) Johnson
- 02-23-19
Very long but oh so good.
This was such a good book. I usually skip through books when they are this long but I stayed the course. This narrator, James Patrick Cronin is awesome. At first, I felt like Quinn's voice was a little creepy but once I got into it, I loved it. All the different accents were spot on. I loved the story line. And that dry humor is right up my alley. I cannot wait to read the next book.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Wild Pig
- 01-21-16
I really loved this...it surprised me! Different!
Any additional comments?
I wasn't sure about it at first, but this has turned out to be a wonderfully unique take on them. And I am a major vamp lover. You have created some wonderful characters and they have come to life in away that I didn't expect at all. You've wound a good story too that personally, I didn't see coming. Matheus really gets on my nerves at times but he's supposed to and you've done a great job of it! James, you do make this story come alive and your narration is good. I'd butch up Quinn, but it's still very good. Listener, I personally think it's worth the listen...it takes a couple or three chapters to get "into it" but once you get hooked, well, let's just say I moved onto the second book, which I will review once finished, but I can tell you this...you'll have to get it too...start here, and then move to the next. Oh, and Amy, keep this series going as long as you can...I'll be there with you!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- ALLIE
- 03-01-15
Surprisingly good!
Wasn't sure what to expect from this book as I don't often gravitate to the vampire genre., but i like sarcastic back and forth dialog so I decided to try it.
I'm glad I used the credit because I loved it so much I immediately got the 2nd audiobook.
The narrator was out of this world and made this book even better!
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7 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jessica
- 11-10-17
Finaly real vampires!
Any additional comments?
The titel kinda says it all, this is about real vampires that dont sparkle, they burn in the sun and dies at sunrise and sleep all day, they "dont fuck the food" as Quin puts it, its bloody and messy. I love the charachters in this book and the sarcasm is amazingly funny. What makes it better is that Matheus dont have a choise in being turned, Quin wants him and thats that!
One of the thing I really like with the story is that there isnt instant love between Matheus and Quin, it work itself slowly into there relationship and it feels more real and dosnt get in the way of the story.
James Patrick Cronin is perfect for this book, been looking for more m/m from him but so far only found this series. I wasnt sure about him at first, since this was my first go with him, but he pleasantly supprised me and now he got another fan!
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