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Real Vampires Don't Sparkle
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 17 hrs and 58 mins
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Publisher's summary
Matheus Taylor didn't ask to be murdered. To be fair, the percentage of people actually asking to be murdered is probably small enough to be safely ignored, but he felt it was worth stating regardless. His life might have been ordinary, but it was his life and he wasn't done with it yet.
Quin didn't care.
A 1,700-year-old Roman, Quintus Livius Saturnius had a different view of morality than most people. Killing Matheus and hijacking his undead existence seemed perfectly acceptable to him.
Now, Matheus spends his nights running for his life, questioning his sexual orientation, and defying a mysterious new threat to the vampires within his city. Not that he set out to do any defying; he just wanted to be left alone. Unfortunately, that was never going to happen.
Volume One of Real Vampires Don't Sparkle
Fans of Real Vampires Don't Sparkle should be sure to check out more titles from Curiosity Quills Press: Sweet Dreams Are Made of Teeth, by Richard Roberts: a fantasy coming-of-age story set in the world of our dreams, where a nightmare learns who he is - and who he loves.
The Devil You Know, by K. H.Koehler: an urban fantasy pulp/mystery series about demons, rogue angels, and a small group of people living in rural northeast Pennsylvania who are caught in the middle of an angelic war.
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Still
- Still Series, Book 1
- By: Camilla Monk
- Narrated by: Amy McFadden
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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It always started like this, a pulse inside me, like a warning before the tide surged, roared... and froze everything. Twenty-year old Emma just landed in Rome, to find the father who walked out of her life more than a decade ago and was too busy eating pizza to call. Traveling with her is a secret she's carried alone since childhood: sometimes, around her, time stops. People and cars freeze, rain hangs still in the air and there's only her left in the silence. To make things worse, instead of her dad, Em runs into a past she'd rather forget in the person of Lily, her stepsister.
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Camilla Monk & Amy McFadden - the dynamic duo!
- By Bethany on 07-03-18
By: Camilla Monk
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Dead Witch Walking
- Hollows, Book 1
- By: Kim Harrison
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 13 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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All the creatures of the night gather in "the Hollows" of Cincinnati, to hide, to prowl, to party...and to feed. Vampires rule the darkness in a predator-eat-predator world rife with dangers beyond imagining - and it’s Rachel Morgan’s job to keep that world civilized. A bounty hunter and a witch with serious sex appeal and an attitude, she’ll bring ’em back alive, dead...or undead.
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Good story but main character is annoying
- By Cory Bickett on 07-02-20
By: Kim Harrison
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Once Bitten
- A Novel of Haven
- By: Kalayna Price
- Narrated by: Piper Goodeve
- Length: 10 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Kita Nekai, on the run and the smallest of her shifter clan-a calico cat among lions and tigers-is being hunted. She was expected to accept her role as her father's successor whether or not her cat was up to the task of leading the clan. She disagreed. Now she's less than a step ahead of the hunters, bone-tired, cold, and living hand-to-mouth in the city of Haven.
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Good story
- By decembergrit on 08-14-11
By: Kalayna Price
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Grave Witch
- Alex Craft Series, Book 1
- By: Kalayna Price
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Not even death can save her now. As a grave witch, Alex Craft can speak to the dead---she's even on good terms with Death himself. As a consultant for the police, she's seen a lot of dark magic, but nothing has prepared her for her latest case.
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Excellent Story Narrator needs alot more practice
- By Persistant.SNAFU on 07-06-11
By: Kalayna Price
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White Hot Kiss
- Dark Elements, Book 1
- By: Jennifer L. Armentrout
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 12 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Seventeen-year-old Layla just wants to be normal. But with a kiss that kills anything with a soul, she's anything but normal. Half demon, half gargoyle, Layla has abilities no one else possesses. Raised among the Wardens - a race of gargoyles tasked with hunting demons and keeping humanity safe - Layla tries to fit in, but that means hiding her own dark side from those she loves the most.
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Very good story with inconsistant vocals
- By KarenM of My Bookbag on 07-06-16
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Insidious
- The Marked Mage Chronicles, Book 1
- By: Victoria Evers
- Narrated by: Jennifer O'Donnell
- Length: 14 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Since moving to Mystic Harbor, Maine, I've made it my life's mission to avoid Reese Blackburn at all costs. Sure, he has cheekbones that could cut glass, not to mention bedroom eyes that could melt any girl into a puddle on the floor. Too bad that doesn't change the fact he's completely stab-worthy. When a fun night out on the town turns deadly, I quickly discover the quaint little hamlet of Mystic Harbor houses more than sandy beaches and adorable B&Bs. Beneath the New England charm rests a world where shifters, demons, vampires, and angelic hunters all vie for power.
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Awesome series start!!
- By Leyla on 10-24-17
By: Victoria Evers
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Omega: An Urban Fantasy Novel
- War of the Alphas, Book 1
- By: S. M. Reine
- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Ten years ago, Deirdre Tombs died. When she was reborn the next day, Deirdre had become a shapeshifter who can't shift shapes. Nobody knows what animal she's supposed to be. She's definitely not a werewolf. The Alpha, Rylie Gresham, can't force her to transform like other members of her pack.
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Omega is another hit for SM Reine
- By Greyhound Mama on 04-30-15
By: S. M. Reine
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Dark Protector
- By: Celia Aaron
- Narrated by: Erin Mallon, Lance Greenfield
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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From the moment I saw her through the window of her flower shop, something other than darkness took root inside me. Charlie shone like a beacon in a world that had long since lost any light. But she was never meant for me, a man that killed without remorse and collected bounties drenched in blood. I thought staying away would keep her safe, would shield her from me. I was wrong. Danger followed in my wake like death at a slaughter house. I protected her from the threats that circled like black buzzards, kept her safe with kill after kill.
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Perfect start to the series!
- By PATRICIA on 08-28-19
By: Celia Aaron
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Carniepunk
- By: Rachel Caine, Rob Thurman, Kevin Hearne, and others
- Narrated by: Candace Thaxton, Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 14 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Come one, come all! The Carniepunk Midway promises you every thrill and chill a traveling carnival can provide. But fear not! Urban fantasy's biggest stars are here to guide you through this strange and dangerous world....
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Its A Separate 14 Short Stories
- By Hassan on 07-27-13
By: Rachel Caine, and others
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Bonded by Blood
- A Sweetblood Novel
- By: Laurie London
- Narrated by: Antonia Laury
- Length: 10 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Deep within the forests of the Pacific Northwest, two vampire coalitions battle for supremacy—Guardian enforcers who safeguard humanity and Darkblood rogues who kill like their ancient ancestors.
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So Freakin' Boring
- By Lucylu on 02-28-11
By: Laurie London
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Damoren
- Valducan, Book 1
- By: Seth Skorkowsky
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 10 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Matt Hollis is the current wielder of the holy weapon, DÄMOREN. With it, he stalks and destroys demons. A secret society called the VALDUCANS has taken an interest in Matt's activities. They see him as a reckless rogue - little more than a "cowboy" corrupted by a monster - and a potential threat to their ancient order. As knights and their sentient weapons begin dying, Matt teams up with other hunters of his kind such as LUIZA, a woman with a conquistador blade; ALLAN, an Englishman with an Egyptian khopesh; MALCOLM, a voodoo priest with a sanctified machete; and TAKAIRA, a naginata-swinging Samurai.
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The Expendables meets Monster Squad
- By Adam on 01-06-15
By: Seth Skorkowsky
What listeners say about Real Vampires Don't Sparkle
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- s.Shimkus
- 03-29-21
Who doesn’t like a sassy vampire
Who doesn’t like a story about a sassy vampire working to protect his mate. The audio matches the book perfectly, and the ending makes you want to jump right into the next story. Quinn is prefect, and he wants to protect us his mate from the world so much but it doesn’t work out that way at all.
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- casrock
- 04-20-21
Snarky Vampire Story
Well this was an unexpectedly funny read/listen. James did a great job with this narration and I cannot wait to see what is in store for Matheus and Quin. While their unlikely friendship and codependency starts off on poor terms for Matheus, I believe it is a good thing for him. I was not sure where this story was going, so it was a bit exciting when things just started happening kind of out of the blue and I really want to see where the story goes from here. I really like how Matheus approaches his heightened sexual feelings for Quin and what that may mean. I really like Bianca and Allistair and hope they are in the next books as well. Definitely an interesting read/listen.
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- Leo
- 12-02-19
Gorgeous Narration
4 Blue Flames
4 Blue Roses
Narrator James Patrick Cronin gorgeously delivered a paranormal romance consisting of all kinds of creatures and an unpredictable plot that will satisfy fans who are experts as a result of extensive reading or listening to books in this genre. In other words, for those sick humans like me, this series does qualify as a very good fix. (One that you can enjoy over and over again).
The third book was sexy as fuck and of course my favorite. My pavlovian responses kicked into overdrive every time Quin calls Matheus "Sunshine". This was the second round for me, and I think I laughed harder this time around.
Why the author don't continue the series eludes me.
I definitely recommend this series. I love that the books are longer, it makes the ride so much more worth it.
Happy Listening
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- N Florida
- 08-16-19
One of my favorite vampire stories
Funny, snarky and bloody. A newly turned vampire, a 1700 year old vampire, begin an adventure that includes hunters, a father who's trying to reverse the vampires back to human. A power trip of the elders. Mayhem,intrigue and lots of blood and guts. I've listen to this series twice and will listen again and again.
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- KK
- 05-12-20
Enjoyable Vampire story
It’s the first of three parts so the story does continue. Mattheus is turned by Quinn and gets a lesson on what it’s like to be a new vampire. Also learning about if he wants Quinn or not.
There is so much fun banter through this story. The narrator brings it all to life in an awesome way.
Recommended
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- Leezard_Love
- 05-27-22
good narration, too long
While I enjoyed the narration and a good bit of the story, it failed to keep my interest. If it would have been a lot shorter I might have enjoyed it more. Worth a try though! Could also be that I wanted more romance in it.
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- (Mimi) Johnson
- 02-23-19
Very long but oh so good.
This was such a good book. I usually skip through books when they are this long but I stayed the course. This narrator, James Patrick Cronin is awesome. At first, I felt like Quinn's voice was a little creepy but once I got into it, I loved it. All the different accents were spot on. I loved the story line. And that dry humor is right up my alley. I cannot wait to read the next book.
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- Wild Pig
- 01-21-16
I really loved this...it surprised me! Different!
Any additional comments?
I wasn't sure about it at first, but this has turned out to be a wonderfully unique take on them. And I am a major vamp lover. You have created some wonderful characters and they have come to life in away that I didn't expect at all. You've wound a good story too that personally, I didn't see coming. Matheus really gets on my nerves at times but he's supposed to and you've done a great job of it! James, you do make this story come alive and your narration is good. I'd butch up Quinn, but it's still very good. Listener, I personally think it's worth the listen...it takes a couple or three chapters to get "into it" but once you get hooked, well, let's just say I moved onto the second book, which I will review once finished, but I can tell you this...you'll have to get it too...start here, and then move to the next. Oh, and Amy, keep this series going as long as you can...I'll be there with you!
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- Kim Jordan
- 06-09-20
Highly enjoyable
Love it! The narrator did a great job; I can't wait to listen to book 2.
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- BuuBooKitti
- 02-11-19
A little slow, but worth the read.
I found this to be a funny, and exciting story. But it was really slow in some places. I also thought Matt was way under developed for his age and his backstory.
I loved the snarky-suave personas of Quin. I look forward to these two finally getting together.
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