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Rethinking Sex
- A Provocation
- Narrated by: Christine Emba
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
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Publisher's summary
Part searing examination, part call to arms—a bold case against modern sexual ethics, from young Washington Post columnist Christine Emba.
For years now, modern-day sexual ethics has held that “anything goes” when it comes to sex—as long as everyone says yes, and does so enthusiastically. So why, even when consent has been ascertained, are so many of our sexual experiences filled with frustration, and disappointment, even shame?
The truth is that the rules that make up today’s consent-only sexual code may actually be the cause of our sexual malaise—not the solution. In Rethinking Sex, reporter Christine Emba shows how consent is a good ethical floor but a terrible ceiling. She spells out the cultural, historical, and psychological forces that have warped our idea of sex, what is permitted, and what is considered “safe.” In visiting critical points in recent years—from #MeToo and the Aziz Ansari scandal, to the phenomenal response to “Cat Person”—she reveals how a consent-only view of sex has hijacked our ability to form authentic and long-lasting connections, exposing us further to chronic isolation and resentment.
Reaching back to the wisdom of thinkers like Thomas Aquinas and Andrea Dworkin, and drawing from sociological studies, interviews with college students, and poignant examples from her own life, Emba calls for a more humane philosophy, one that starts with consent but accounts for the very real emotional, mental, social, and political implications of sex—even, she argues, if it means saying no to certain sexual practices or challenging societal expectations altogether.
More than a bold reassessment of modern norms, Rethinking Sex invites us to imagine what it means to will the good of others, and in turn, attain greater affirmation, fulfillment, and satisfaction for ourselves.
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Critic reviews
“It’s rare that a book hits the cultural moment with the precision of Rethinking Sex. Exploring very new attitudes toward this very old act, Christine Emba finds an entirely changed landscape from even a few years ago. Casual sex no longer prevails, “catching feelings” isn't a cause for embarrassment, and even though the kids’ aren’t alright at the moment, there is much cause for optimism.” –Vanessa Grigoriadis, author of Blurred Lines
“Rethinking Sex is an overdue attempt at writing down the very real frustrations that many have with today’s mating market, warped as it has become by cheap sex, marital substitutes, and all the other reasons that drive us away from the formation of the permanent relationships so many crave. The market mentality is entrenched, but Emba points readers to toward the way out.” –Mark Regnerus, author of Cheap Sex
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- By: Matt Walsh
- Narrated by: Rand Archer
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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This highly anticipated debut from Matt Walsh of The Blaze demands that conservative voters make a last stand and fight for the moral center of America. The Trump presidency and Republican Congress provides an urgent opportunity to stop the Left's value-bending march to destroy the culture of our country. Republican control of the presidency, senate, and House of Representatives for the next two years is a precious - and fleeting - gift to conservatives.
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An excellent read
- By Don Huslage on 12-18-19
By: Matt Walsh
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Covering
- The Hidden Assault on Our Civil Rights
- By: Kenji Yoshino
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor
- Length: 7 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone covers. To cover is to downplay a disfavored trait so as to blend into the mainstream. Because all of us possess stigmatized attributes, we all encounter pressure to cover in our daily lives. Given its pervasiveness, we may experience this pressure to be a simple fact of social life. Against conventional understanding, Kenji Yoshino argues that the demand to cover can pose a hidden threat to our civil rights.
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Humane Advocacy in Law and Life
- By Patroclus Menoetius on 07-27-20
By: Kenji Yoshino
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Not Gay
- Sex Between Straight White Men
- By: Jane Ward
- Narrated by: Dara Rosenberg
- Length: 8 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Not Gay thrusts deep into a world where straight guy-on-guy action is not a myth but a reality: There's fraternity and military hazing rituals, where new recruits are made to grab each other's penises and stick fingers up their fellow members' anuses; online personal ads, where straight men seek other straight men to masturbate with; and, last but not least, the long and clandestine history of straight men frequenting public restrooms for sexual encounters with other men.
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Extreme Feminism and Liberalism
- By David McDougall on 01-17-18
By: Jane Ward
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All the Single Ladies
- Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation
- By: Rebecca Traister
- Narrated by: Candace Thaxton, Rebecca Traister - introduction
- Length: 11 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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In a provocative, groundbreaking work, National Magazine Award finalist Rebecca Traister, "the most brilliant voice on feminism in this country" (Anne Lamott), traces the history of unmarried women in America who, through social, political, and economic means, have radically shaped our nation.
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Excellent book, destroyed by narration
- By Theresa Holleran on 03-06-16
By: Rebecca Traister
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How to Love
- By: Gordon Livingston
- Narrated by: James Jenner
- Length: 5 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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The internationally best-selling author of Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, Dr. Gordon Livingston here helps readers discover fulfilling happiness. By recognizing and understanding particular character traits in ourselves and others, we can all learn who best to love - and who best to avoid.
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Honest and right to the point
- By Elisabeth on 02-10-10
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On Our Best Behavior
- The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good
- By: Elise Loehnen
- Narrated by: Elise Loehnen
- Length: 11 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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We congratulate ourselves when we resist the donut in the office breakroom. We celebrate our restraint when we hold back from sending an email in anger. We feel virtuous when we wake up at dawn to get a jump on the day. We put others’ needs ahead of our own and believe this makes us exemplary. In On Our Best Behavior, journalist Elise Loehnen explains that these impulses—often lauded as unselfish, distinctly feminine instincts—are actually ingrained in us by a culture that reaps the benefits, via an extraordinarily effective collection of mores known as the Seven Deadly Sins.
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Autobiography in Disguise
- By Lindsey on 06-11-23
By: Elise Loehnen
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Tied Up in Knots
- How Getting What They Wanted Has Made Women Miserable
- By: Andrea Tantaros
- Narrated by: Andrea Tantaros
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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In this shocking, funny, and bluntly honest tour of today's gender discontents, Andrea Tantaros, one of Fox News' most popular and outspoken stars, exposes how the rightful feminist pursuit of equality went too far, and how the unintended pitfalls of that power trade have made women (and men!) miserable.
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Not What I Thought It Would Be
- By Kevin on 05-06-16
By: Andrea Tantaros
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Love Understood
- The Science of Who, How and Why We Love
- By: Laura Mucha
- Narrated by: Laura Mucha
- Length: 10 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Poets, philosophers and artists have been trying to explain romantic love for centuries, but it remains one of the most complex and intimidating terrains to navigate. Most people are afraid to be open and honest about their relationships...until now. For Love Understood, Laura Mucha has interviewed hundreds of strangers, from the ages of 8 to 95 in more than 40 countries, asking them to share their most personal stories, feelings and insights about love.
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Insightful, informative, and thought provoking
- By James on 03-05-19
By: Laura Mucha
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Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives
- By: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Length: 2 hrs and 52 mins
- Abridged
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Following the tremendous success of her New York Times best sellers, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives and How Could You Do That?!, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses the stupid things men do that diminish their lives and happiness. With real-world examples from her radio show and strikingly honest letters from her male listeners, her book reveals that many men demonstrate a level of sensitivity and insight that will surprise most women.
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Loved it!
- By Ethan on 03-21-18
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The Conversation
- How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships
- By: Harper Hill
- Narrated by: Kevin Free
- Length: 7 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling, award-winning author, actor, and motivational speaker Hill Harper invites listeners to join the conversation about the breakdown of the African-American family. The black community of past generations found strength in families, but today’s black children have less than a one in three chance of being raised in a two-parent household. Harper’s search for answers to this phenomenon is an enlightening and empowering journey.
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~*AWESOME*~
- By Nevada on 08-13-10
By: Harper Hill
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Down Girl
- The Logic of Misogyny
- By: Kate Manne
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Misogyny is a hot topic, yet it's often misunderstood. What is misogyny, exactly? Who deserves to be called a misogynist? How does misogyny contrast with sexism, and why is it prone to persist - or increase - even when sexist gender roles are waning? This book is an exploration of misogyny in public life and politics by the moral philosopher Kate Manne. It argues that misogyny should not be understood primarily in terms of the hatred or hostility some men feel toward all or most women. Rather, it's primarily about controlling, policing, punishing, and exiling the "bad" women.
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Five Star Book w/bad Narration
- By Cherrybomb on 02-08-19
By: Kate Manne
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What listeners say about Rethinking Sex
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- M. Horne
- 03-27-22
Timely
I would prefer a more rigorous argument. But I think this is a much needed question about sexual mores.
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- Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus
- 07-21-22
Thought-provoking and much needed!
I really liked the author's narration. I've been thinking about and writing/speaking on these topics for a long time, but her ability to put them into a larger ever-evolving historical and cultural context was wonderful.
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- AJBartho
- 04-28-23
Thoughtful, honest, and compelling
As an ethicist, I agree with many of M. Emba's conclusions, though not all. Her arguments are thought-provoking, and I am incorporating some of them into my classes.
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- tina stevenson
- 06-28-22
I'm not sure if I learned anything but...
Read it for the insight alone. Long and fluffy in some places. I can't believe this is where we've arrived regarding sex.
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- Walter J. Caywood
- 04-23-22
Excellent compelling thoughful
Engaging and cogent assessment. Even handed and remarkable description of the state of modern Western culture; frankness much appreciated.
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- G-Man
- 12-11-22
Thoughtful, timely
like that sexual cultire, habit, and approach was gently and thoughtfullymoved between individual responsibility, shared (partners) and community responsibilities.
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- Luxor
- 04-11-22
Great points
Should have been 2 hrs shorter. I agree with most points, but it’s over the top too long. The essay becomes performative and whiny. I think there’s a lot to unpack, but the repetitive examples drone on and the meaning gets lost.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Nina Cornelsen
- 05-27-22
Great food for thought
Excellent, thoughtful reading. Thoroughly researched. Well constructed analysis. Sensitive handling. Graceful personal touches. A welcome and overdue perspective.
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- Unknown
- 07-10-22
A new much needed feminism is afoot
The best summary of the bubbling instincts most women feel in the unequal relational status we are telegraphed starting before we can walk. The sexual revolution has often felt like a trick to force women to be ok with and even warriors for their own objectification. Sexual autonomy for women in a masculine paradigm is only achieved by acknowledging the inequality and giving women a real voice for their experience, not forcing them to be judged if they aren’t amplifiers of male sexual goals and male sexual priority enablers. It’s like we all agreed to pretend. I love that this book is starting the conversation of truth for the female and sometimes male experience. Complete freedom coupled with ever presence of porn is destroying the male brain. A realignment of values around sexual connection cannot happen soon enough.
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- Joe
- 07-16-22
Steamy Monogamy
Reading this book reminded me of this line from some forgettable film I saw a few years back...
One smug dude looks at another smug dude and says: "The day pole-dancing became a form of exercise, we men won the sexual revolution."
This book has that vibe: the sex-filled and gender-fluid 21st century has benefited lusty, polyamorous men and left most women feeling emotionally void, if not fully traumatized. This book makes a case for why we should all demand more intimacy from our partners.
The book focuses on case studies (which provide the reader with engaging narratives) buttressed by a good deal of sociological and philosophical research. The book is a relatively easy read. The author's narration on audible is clear, albeit a bit slow.
The target audience for this book seems to be women in their 20s and 30s. But I'm a hetero man nearing 50 and I enjoyed the book. For me, it reiterated the idea that truly sexy sex is holistic when the relationship is monogamous, committed and caring--no matter what ridiculous fantasies my brain (and society) concoct for me, the best sex you can ever have is with a life partner who will love you fully in return. That's when the oxytocin flows and every touch feels fantastic.
This book is four-stars because the author dismisses the genuine political gains of women, such as Title IX, in improving the lives of females in this country. This made me angry and question the author's motives in writing the book. I get the sense that the author probably likes the current Supreme Court, which makes me cringe. If she doesn't then she needs to speak up more loudly in her books about how women deserve their freedoms and reproductive control.
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