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Surviving the White Gaze
- A Memoir
- Narrated by: Rebecca Carroll
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
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Publisher's summary
An Esquire Best Book of 2021
A “gorgeous and powerful” (The New York Times Book Review) memoir from cultural critic Rebecca Carroll recounting her painful struggle to overcome a completely White childhood to forge her identity as a Black woman in America.
Rebecca Carroll grew up the only Black person in her rural New Hampshire town. Adopted at birth by artistic parents who believed in peace, love, and zero population growth, her early childhood was loving and idyllic - and yet she couldn’t articulate the deep sense of isolation she increasingly felt as she grew older.
Everything changed when she met her birth mother, a young White woman, who consistently undermined Carroll’s sense of her blackness and self-esteem. Carroll’s childhood became harrowing, and her memoir explores the tension between the aching desire for her birth mother’s acceptance, the loyalty she feels toward her adoptive parents, and the search for her racial identity. As an adult, Carroll forged a path from city to city, struggling along the way with difficult boyfriends, depression, eating disorders, and excessive drinking. Ultimately, through the support of her chosen Black family, she was able to heal.
“Generous, intimate, searching, and formidable” (The Boston Globe), Surviving the White Gaze is a timely examination of racism and racial identity in America today.
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Reprieve
- A Novel
- By: James Han Mattson
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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On April 27, 1997, four contestants make it to the final cell of the Quigley House, a full-contact haunted escape room in Lincoln, Nebraska, made famous for its monstrosities, booby-traps, and ghoulishly costumed actors. If the group can endure these horrors without shouting the safe word, “reprieve,” they’ll win a substantial cash prize - a startling feat accomplished only by one other group in the house’s long history. But before they can complete the challenge, a man breaks into the cell and kills one of the contestants.
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creepy escape room story
- By Barbara S on 11-18-21
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Swear on This Life
- A Novel
- By: Renée Carlino
- Narrated by: Traci Odom
- Length: 7 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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A struggling writer must come to terms with her past, present, and future after she discovers that she's the inspiration for a pseudonymously published best-selling novel.
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Outstanding Story!
- By Jen Seagraves on 07-28-20
By: Renée Carlino
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Surfside Sisters
- A Novel
- By: Nancy Thayer
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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A Nantucket woman returns home to find that reunions aren’t always simple, in this heartwarming novel from the New York Times bestselling author. Keely Green always dreamed of leaving the beautiful shores of Nantucket to become a writer. Now she’s a bestselling novelist living in New York City, attending glamorous cocktail parties, mingling with the literary elite, and dating a charming pediatric surgeon. But a moment of clarity strikes when Keely’s boyfriend suddenly wants to settle down and her editor rejects her latest novel.
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Too fluffy!
- By LoRe Bolling on 07-10-19
By: Nancy Thayer
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Members Only
- By: Sameer Pandya
- Narrated by: Sunil Malhotra
- Length: 10 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Raj Bhatt is often unsure of where he belongs. Having moved to America from Bombay as a child, he knew few Indian kids. Now middle-aged, he lives mostly happily in California with a job at a university. Still, his white wife seems to fit in better than he does at times, especially at their tennis club, a place he's cautiously come to love. But it's there that, in one week, his life unravels. It begins at a meeting for potential new members: Raj thrills to find an African American couple on the list; he dreams of a more diverse club. But in an effort to connect, he makes a racist joke.
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Stick with it... so worth it!
- By Andrea R Martinez on 09-02-20
By: Sameer Pandya
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A Wild and Precious Life
- A Memoir
- By: Edie Windsor, Joshua Lyon
- Narrated by: Donna Postel, Joshua Lyon
- Length: 10 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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In this memoir, which she began before passing away in 2017 and completed by her co-writer, Edie recounts her childhood in Philadelphia, her realization that she was a lesbian, and her active social life in Greenwich Village's electrifying underground gay scene during the 1950s. Edie was also one of a select group of trailblazing women in computing, working her way up the ladder at IBM and achieving their highest technical ranking while developing software.
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🏳️🌈 Wow! 🏳️🌈
- By Natalia Zimnoch on 10-15-19
By: Edie Windsor, and others
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Pages for You
- The Pages for You Series, Book 1
- By: Sylvia Brownrigg
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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In a steam-filled diner in a college town, Flannery Jansen catches sight of something more beautiful than she's ever seen: a graduate student, reading. The 17-year-old, new to everything around her - college, the East Coast, bodies of literature, and the sexual flurries of student life - is shocked by her desire to follow this wherever it will take her.
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A gorgeous listen
- By MissLynn on 03-09-20
By: Sylvia Brownrigg
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Tell Me Everything
- A Novel
- By: Cambria Brockman
- Narrated by: Ariadne Meyers
- Length: 12 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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In her first weeks at Hawthorne College, Malin is swept up into a tight-knit circle that will stick together through all four years. There’s Gemma, an insecure theater major from London; John, a tall, handsome, wealthy New Englander; Max, John’s cousin, a shy pre-med major; Khaled, a wisecracking prince from Abu Dhabi; and Ruby, a beautiful art history major. But Malin isn’t like the rest of her friends. She’s an expert at hiding her troubled past - all while using her extraordinary insight to detect their deepest vulnerabilities and weaknesses.
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beware
- By keith y. on 10-03-19
By: Cambria Brockman
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Pregnant Girl
- A Story of Teen Motherhood, College, and Creating a Better Future for Young Families
- By: Nicole Lynn Lewis
- Narrated by: Nicky Sunshine
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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An activist calls for better support of young families so they can thrive and reflects on her experiences as a Black mother and college student fighting for opportunities for herself and her child. Pregnant Girl presents the possibility of a different future for young mothers - one of success and stability - in the midst of the dismal statistics that dominate the national conversation.
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Political
- By Amazon Customer on 01-16-23
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The Stuff that Never Happened
- A Novel
- By: Maddie Dawson
- Narrated by: Teri Clark Linden
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Annabelle McKay knows she shouldn’t have any complaints. She’s been in a stable marriage that’s lasted almost three decades and has provided her with two wonderful children and thousands of family dinners around a sturdy oak table. Other wives envy the fact that Grant is not the type of man who would ever cheat on her or leave her for a younger woman. The trouble is Annabelle isn’t sure she wants to be married to Grant anymore. The trouble is she’s still in love with someone else.
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Don’t pass this one up.
- By Lauren on 03-10-20
By: Maddie Dawson
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Fairyland
- A Memoir of My Father
- By: Alysia Abbott
- Narrated by: Alysia Abbott
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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A beautiful, vibrant memoir about growing up motherless in 1970s and 80s San Francisco with an openly gay father. After his wife dies in a car accident, bisexual writer and activist Steve Abbott moves with his two-year-old daughter to San Francisco. There they discover a city in the midst of revolution, bustling with gay men in search of liberation - few of whom are raising a child. Steve throws himself into San Francisco's vibrant cultural scene.
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Great representation of the time
- By AvidReader22 on 06-07-19
By: Alysia Abbott
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The Mother Next Door
- A Novel of Suspense
- By: Tara Laskowski
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt, Teri Schnaubelt, Emily Lawrence
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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The annual Halloween block party is the pinnacle of the year on idyllic suburban cul-de-sac Ivy Woods Drive. An influential group of neighborhood moms—known as the Ivy Five—plans the event for months. Except the Ivy Five has been four for a long time. When a new mother moves to town, eager to fit in, the moms see it as an opportunity to make the group whole again. This year's block party should be the best yet... until the women start receiving anonymous messages threatening to expose the quiet neighborhood's dark past—and the lengths they've gone to hide it.
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I Didn't Want It to End!
- By Sally on 10-16-21
By: Tara Laskowski
What listeners say about Surviving the White Gaze
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Rongina McClelland
- 11-04-21
Perfect!
Much of what Rebecca wrote about resonated with me. I am thankful for her words and for her openness.
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- Tanner Robison
- 06-10-21
Compelling, Real, Poignant.
Rebecca Carroll’s reading of her own memoir makes it that much more impactful. All I can say is Thank You to Rebecca Carroll for sharing her life, her struggles, and her joy with the world. I learned a great deal about myself in these pages.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Michelle
- 07-31-21
Great listen
When I first started the book I didn’t think I’d enjoy just the narration. But the story was so good and so much thought and discussion can come from it.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Deborah Rose
- 01-30-22
Thank you for writing this book!
I’m a single mom of a mixed child. She was born in 1975 and I was militant to support her being herself. This book explains so many things she might have felt that I would have had trouble understanding. Right now it is still an ugly time as racism rears it’s cancerous head. One day we will live in peace. Keep on writing and educating, Ms. Carroll.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kindle Customer
- 09-17-21
Revealing
I'm glad she narrated her story. No one could tell it like she did. I've often wondered what life is like being a biracial child. This story is so revealing. I experienced varied emotions listening to it. When is the world going to stop being like this for black & biracial people?
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1 person found this helpful
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- Nadinola
- 08-13-21
Moving Tale of Courage and Strength
This was such a jaw dropping, moving and inspirational read. Your courage and strength moved me to tears.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Gayle C. Butterfield
- 02-18-23
Excellent Story
I was riveted by her story and how she was able to see the importance of her blackness in spite of her upbringing and her bio mother’s toxicity! I relate so much to her.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-27-22
Great story
This book is not for the impatient. The author takes her time and skillfully situates the reader into her story. She challenges our perceptions of what being a black child raised by white people in a white world can feel like.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Paul
- 11-19-21
Honest
I appreciate Rebecca's commitment to speaking her truth, a US American truth about our white communities and families: how much comfort we take in being oblivious when reality is literally right in front of us.
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- Myrielle
- 01-15-22
From one adoptee to another, thank you for your bravery in telling your story
I loved this book!! I wish that it was longer and that I could dive more into her story. I am a transracial adoptee from Haiti and so many of her experiences mirror my experiences and resonates on such a deep and divine level.
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1 person found this helpful