The Alchemaster's Apprentice
A Culinary Tale from Zamonia by Optimus Yarnspinner
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Narrated by:
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Bronson Pinchot
About this listen
Malaisea, the unhealthiest town in the whole of Zamonia, is home to Echo the Crat, a multitalented creature resembling a cat in appearance but capable of speaking any language under the sun, human or animal. When his mistress dies, Echo finds himself out on the street. Dying of starvation, he is compelled to sign a contract with Ghoolion the Alchemaster, Malaisea’s evil alchemist-in-chief. This fateful document gives Ghoolion the right to kill Echo at the next full moon and render him down for his fat, with which he hopes to brew an alchemical concoction that will make him immortal. In return, he promises to regale the little Crat with the most exquisite gastronomic delicacies until his time is up.
But Ghoolion has reckoned without Echo’s talent for survival and his ability to make new friends. These include the Leathermice, the Cogitating Eggs, the Golden Squirrel, the Cooked Ghost, Theodore T. Theodore the one-eyed Tuwituwu, and above all, Izanuela Anazazi, the last Uggly in Malaisea.
Walter Moers’ magnificent translation of Optimus Yarnspinner’s novel introduces us to yet another of Zamonia’s hotbeds of adventure: Malaisea, a place where sick is healthy, up is down, right is wrong, and Ghoolion the Alchemaster reigns supreme—until Echo crosses his path.
©2007 Piper Verlag GmbH, Munich; Translation 2009 by John Brownjohn (P)2011 Blackstone Audio, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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- Length: 20 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Jen Williams, acclaimed author of The Copper Cat trilogy, featuring The Copper Promise, The Iron Ghost and The Silver Tide, returns with the first in a blistering new trilogy. The great city of Ebora once glittered with gold. Now its streets are stalked by wolves. Tormalin the Oathless has no taste for sitting around waiting to die while the realm of his storied ancestors falls to pieces - talk about a guilt trip. Better to be amongst the living, where there are taverns full of women and wine.
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Couldn’t put it down!
- By Renae on 09-09-22
By: Jen Williams
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Alice
- By: Christina Henry
- Narrated by: Jenny Sterlin
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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In a warren of crumbling buildings and desperate people called the Old City, there stands a hospital with cinderblock walls that echo the screams of the poor souls inside. In the hospital, there is a woman. Her hair, once blond, hangs in tangles down her back. She doesn't remember why she's in such a terrible place. Just a tea party long ago, and long ears, and blood.
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Superb writing and narration
- By Jennifer Wadsworth on 08-27-16
By: Christina Henry
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The Trees
- By: Ali Shaw
- Narrated by: Ben Onwukwe
- Length: 18 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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There came an elastic aftershock of creaks and groans and then, softly softly, a chinking shower of rubbled cement. Leaves calmed and trunks stood serene. Where, not a minute before, there had been a suburb, there was now only woodland standing amid ruins. There is no warning. No chance to prepare. They arrive in the night: thundering up through the ground, transforming streets and towns into shadowy forest. Buildings are destroyed.
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Post apocalypse with a little bit of magic
- By Tam on 09-20-16
By: Ali Shaw
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Too Many Curses
- By: A. Lee Martinez
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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The wizard Margle the Horrendous takes special pride in never killing his enemies. Instead, he transforms them into various accursed forms and locks them away in his castle. It's Nessy's duty to tend this castle. Its a lot of work, but she manages, taking pride in housekeeping talents that keep the castle from collapsing into chaos. But when Margle suddenly dies, everything begins to unravel.
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Enjoyable!
- By S. Friday on 06-07-11
By: A. Lee Martinez
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Kill the Farm Boy
- The Tales of Pell Series, Book 1
- By: Kevin Hearne, Delilah S. Dawson
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 12 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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A plucky farm boy will find more than he's bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there's the Dark Lord, who wishes for the boy's untimely death...and also very fine cheese. Then there's a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, and the Dread Necromancer Steve....
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Disappointing
- By Bruce D. Parker on 07-18-18
By: Kevin Hearne, and others
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The Door by the Staircase
- By: Katherine Marsh
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Twelve-year-old Mary Hayes can't stand her orphanage. But when an attempted escape doesn't go quite as well as she'd hoped, Mary fears she'll be stuck in the Buffalo Asylum for Young Ladies forever. The very next day, a mysterious woman named Madame Z appears at the orphanage requesting to adopt Mary. The matron's all too happy to get the girl off her hands. Soon Mary is fed a hearty meal, dressed in a clean, new nightgown, and shown to a soft bed with blankets piled high.
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Very creative tale
- By Audible Dad on 02-01-19
By: Katherine Marsh
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Angelique's Descent
- By: Lara Parker
- Narrated by: Lara Parker
- Length: 16 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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The dashing heir of a New England shipping magnate, Barnabas Collins captures the heart of the exquisite, young Angelique amidst the sensual beauty of Martinique, her island home. But Angelique's brief happiness is doomed when Barnabas deserts her and becomes engaged to another. With this one betrayal, Barnabas unleashes an evil that will torment him for all time.
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I loved this!
- By Alabama purchaser on 07-19-15
By: Lara Parker
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The Watchers
- By: A.M. Shine
- Narrated by: Jacqueline Milne
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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This forest isn't charted on any map. Every car breaks down at its treeline. Mina's is no different. Left stranded, she is forced into the dark woodland only to find a woman shouting, urging Mina to run to a concrete bunker. As the door slams behind her, the building is besieged by screams. Mina finds herself in a room with a wall of glass, and an electric light that activates at nightfall, when the watchers come above ground. These creatures emerge to observe their captive humans and terrible things happen to anyone who doesn't reach the bunker in time.
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Surprising and original
- By Leia Schoeck on 10-08-22
By: A.M. Shine
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The Familiars
- By: Adam Jay Epstein
- Narrated by: Lincoln Hoppe
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Running fast to save his life, Aldwyn ducks into an unusual pet store. Moments later Jack, a young wizard in training, comes in to choose a magical animal to be his familiar. Aldwyn's always been clever. But magical? Jack thinks so - and Aldwyn is happy to play along. He just has to convince the other familiars - the know-it-all blue jay Skylar and the friendly tree frog Gilbert - that he's the powerful cat he claims to be. Then the unthinkable happens. Jack and two other young wizards are captured by the evil queen of Vastia!
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Good kid's story
- By Ed on 04-18-13
By: Adam Jay Epstein
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The Book Jumper
- By: Mechthild Glaser
- Narrated by: Mary Sarah
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Amy's grandmother, Lady Mairead, insists that Amy must read while she resides at Lennox House - but not in the usual way. It turns out that Amy is a book jumper, able to leap into a story and interact with the world inside. As thrilling as Amy's new power is, it also brings danger: someone is stealing from the books she visits, and that person may be after her life. Teaming up with fellow book jumper, Will, Amy vows to get to the bottom of the thefts - at whatever cost.
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Beautiful 🥲
- By DOMINIQUE on 06-22-21
By: Mechthild Glaser
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My Family and Other Animals
- By: Gerald Durrell
- Narrated by: Hugh Bonneville
- Length: 4 hrs and 20 mins
- Abridged
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The book is an autobiographical account of five years in the childhood of naturalist Gerald Durrell. The book is divided into three sections, marking the three villas in which the family lived on the island. Apart from Gerald (the youngest) and Larry, the family comprised their widowed mother, the gun-mad Leslie, and diet-obsessed sister Margo together with Roger the dog.
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Love it, but please mark as Abridged!
- By Meredith Ramirez on 09-14-21
By: Gerald Durrell
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The Cabinet of Wonders
- The Kronos Chronicles: Book I
- By: Marie Rutkoski
- Narrated by: Lorelei King
- Length: 7 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Petra Kronos has a simple, happy life. But it's never been ordinary. She has a pet tin spider named Astrophil who likes to hide in her snarled hair and give her advice. Her best friend can trap lightning inside a glass sphere. Petra also has a father in faraway Prague who is able to move metal with his mind. Petra's life is forever changed when, one day, her father returns home - blind.
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It was okay
- By Robbin Sutherland on 05-29-12
By: Marie Rutkoski
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The Iron Dragon's Daughter
- By: Michael Swanwick
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 14 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Named a New York Times notable book of 1994, The Iron Dragon's Daughter tells the heartrending story of a changeling child who is kidnapped to a realm of malls and machines and enslaved in a vast, infernal factory. Ultimately, she escapes and attempts to educate herself about this alien world, while being tormented by visions of the life she was denied.
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Inconsistent story and makes for a poor experience
- By Martin Smith on 07-10-15
By: Michael Swanwick
What listeners say about The Alchemaster's Apprentice
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- amber
- 05-08-23
Incredible story told beautifully
The story is a fun and cerebral adventure with a host of characters that the narrator masters.
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- dogonafuton
- 11-06-21
Delightful!
After hearing Bronson Pinchot read another title I was sold and went searching for more. This is a delightful story written for teens and children at heart like me. If you like fantastical adventures, hold on to your hat! Definitely one of the most unusual universes I’ve ever encountered.
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- Amazon Customer
- 12-04-22
Loved it
I was first introduced to this book through the 13 1/2 lives of captain blue bear the first books in the Zamonia series and fell in love with Walter Moore's riding, it's always been fantastic and The Alchemaster’s Apprentice is no exception.
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- Darcy
- 01-11-23
Great story, reader is a little much
I love Walter Moers's stories. They're full of interesting characters and imaginative plots.
I do wish someone would just read the book rather than try to "perform" all the characters.
Still, I was able to enjoy the story (the characters voices were not as bad as Dandelion was in Rumo).
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- Amy C. Kalinowski
- 12-28-18
mwuah
amazing just like every book he writes. the descriptions are amazing as well as the story.
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- Anonymous User
- 04-28-21
A good listen
If you’re looking for a good lighthearted listen to break up all the dry non-fiction you’re reading, I can’t recommend a better book. The story is charming and the voice acting is exceptional; The performance really brought the characters to life. Overall, I give this audio book 4.8 uglies out of 5.
-Justin .A Thomas
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- James Coghlan
- 08-31-21
Dr. Suess for grownups.
Bronson Pinchot truly brings this tale to life, magically infusing each character with a rich vocal personality. New, fresh, fantastical, hilarious. A rare treat in a cookie cutter world.
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- Maysilea
- 06-12-18
Intruiging Story & Excellent Oral Performance
A great story that inspires culinary fantasy supported by a narrorater that breathes life into every already unique and lovable character.
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- Michelle pgrass
- 02-06-24
fun and light , wonderful narration
it's always fun to read a fantasy book from a non-english or american writer. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and the narrator was superb.
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- Theresa
- 01-11-21
Such an odd tale but I love it!
I wasn't sure where this story was going but man was it a ride. A lot of scheming on the cat's end but I would do the same if put in that position. The world-building was so different and painted wonderful things into my head. 9/10 because I wanted more.
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