Like millions of Americans, Dr. John VanDuyne is stunned to watch President Tom Winston announce his plans to legalize narcotics in a radical bid to destroy the power of the drug cartels. Especially since, as Winston’s personal physician and a government health spokesman, VanDuyne might have expected some prior warning. And now he’s going to be right in the firing line when the uproar begins. For President Winston, his daring plan could turn out to be political suicide. For VanDuvne, it’s going to be much worse than that.

It was a typical afternoon in Northfield, Minnesota, when a middle-aged, autistic artist named Dutton James revealed to the world his new series of otherworldly, enigmatic sculptures, leaving art critics and the public stunned and intrigued. Then the questions started. What are these bizarre objects? From what planet or nightmare were they hatched? In the weeks that follow, as the mysterious artist’s fame skyrockets, Emma, Dutton's millennial stalker fan, attempts to enter the artist’s dangerous, opaque world in order to uncover the answers.

By the tender age of five, Bernie Mac had found his calling: making others laugh. He has since become the star and cocreator of Fox’s hit sitcom The Bernie Mac Show; a stand-up legend; and a hit movie star in Head of State and Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle. Now, this amazing comedian delves deep down inside to retell the poignant and hilarious story of his childhood and the people who helped shape him into the comedian - and the strong and self-reliant man - he is today.

I found the journal at work. Well, I don't know if you'd call it work, but that's where I found it. It's the lost journal of Nikola Tesla, one of the greatest inventors and visionaries ever. Before he died in 1943, he kept a notebook filled with spectacular claims and outrageous plans.

After a near fatal attack, Veronica Kilter is taken under the wing of an underground cyber criminal who is known as The Master. He trains her to carry out his elaborate heists, which leaves Veronica living a dangerous double life as an artist by day but a highly trained criminal by night. She accepts the life she leads until she falls in love with a man who makes her question it all.

Grammy Winner for Best Spoken Comedy Album
Performed by George Carlin himself, and filled with thoughts, musings, questions, lists, beliefs, curiosities, monologues, assertions, assumptions, and other verbal ordeals, Brain Droppings is infectiously funny.

New! Don't miss our AudibleComedy combo, featuring original humor from standups Greg Proops and Steve Marmel.

Dr Disrespect is a 6-foot-8 freak of nature with a 37-inch vertical, the two-time, back-to-back 1993-94 Blockbuster Video Game Champion, and in his factual opinion, the most dominant international gaming superstar in the history of the world. It was just a matter of time before Western civilization came begging Doc to save literature by writing a memoir that reads like a vicious, muscular lion clawing his way through the rocks, roaring in anger and dominance. Here you will find his deepest, most intimate secrets.

Four chronically homeless people - Amelia One Sky, Timber, Double Dick and Digger - seek refuge in a warm movie theater when a severe Arctic front descends on the city. During what is supposed to be a one-time event, this temporary refuge transfixes them. They fall in love with this new world and, once the weather clears, continue their trips to the cinema. On one of these outings they meet Granite, a jaded and lonely journalist who has turned his back on writing “the same story over and over again” in favor of the escapist qualities of film, and an unlikely friendship is struck.

Ruth is a 74-year-old woman. Rowan is a 23-year-old man. They’re in love. And Ruth’s 43-year-old son is freaking the hell out.

Bob Odenkirk is a legend in the comedy-writing world, winning Emmys and acclaim for his work on Saturday Night Live, Mr. Show with Bob and David, and many other seminal television shows. This book, his first, is a spleen-bruisingly funny omnibus that ranges from absurdist monologues ("Martin Luther King Jr.'s Worst Speech Ever") to intentionally bad theater ("Hitler Dinner Party: A Play"), from avant-garde fiction ("Obit for the Creator of Mad Libs").

It’s been 120 years since the 50 or so worldships containing the few million survivors of the human species set off after the planet Earth was destroyed by a meteor. On the Worldship Humility, Sam, a 30-year-old Airlock Operative, is bored. Living in space should be exciting and full of adventure, except it isn’t, and he fills his time hacking 3-D movie posters and holographic adverts outside the stores in the retail zone. Petty thief Yasmine Emile Dufont is also from the WS Humility, but she is not bored....

Gordy LaSure's passionate about film. He eats film, he drinks film, and sometimes he'll even watch a film. But most of all, he loves talking about film, and how they'd be a shit-ton better if only people would pull their asses out of their ears and listen to Gordy LaSure. Why are some films bad and some films terrible? How come just a handful of films (Titanic, Porky's, Dirty Harry) are any good at all? Gordy'll tell you How and Why, and he'll give you a shot of Wherefore on the side. And he doesn't shoot from the hip; he shoots from the gut.

An exciting, joyous story of what happens when a new creature with a new mind, but as intelligent as us, comes into the world. Found in a dying jungle, six strange babies are spirited off to the United States where a fantastic discovery is made. Like us, they are hominids. This makes them incredibly valuable and the company that discovered them sees a fortune in the making by selling their offspring. But not if primate expert Beth Cooke, brought in to get them to breed, and her Army Ranger husband Charlie have anything to say about it.

For 17-year-old Denver, music is everything. Writing, performing, and her ultimate goal: escaping her very small, very White hometown. So, Denver is more than ready on the day she and her best friends Dali and Shak sing their way into the orbit of the biggest R&B star in the world, Sean "Mercury" Ellis. Merc gives them everything: parties, perks, wild nights - plus hours and hours in the recording studio.

Three strangers, Eshe, Milla, and Sun-Sole, meet under the worst circumstances possible - behind bars. Prison isn't at all what they expected, and from the onset of their arrival, these three savvy boss chicks find themselves surrounded by disloyal snitches, set-ups, and scandalous drama. Determined to survive the system that enslaved them, these courageous women unite and embark on a mission to level the scales of justice.

"You have two days to pass your audition. You better pass it, feller. You’re joining the circus. Ain’t that the best news you ever got?" Delivered by a trio of psychotic clowns, this ultimatum plunges Jamie into the horrific alternate universe that is the centuries-old Pilo Family Circus, a borderline world between Hell and Earth from which humankind’s greatest tragedies have been perpetrated. Yet in this place - peopled by the gruesome, grotesque, and monstrous - where violence and savagery are the norm, Jamie finds that his worst enemy is himself.

Recently retired due to a freak accident, NYPD officer Moe Prager is lost. In pain and without the job he loves, Moe relunctantly settles on the notion of going into the wine business with his brother. But when a suburban college student vanishes off the streets of Manhattan, Prager's universe is turned upside down and his life changed forever. Hired by the student's desperate family, Moe plunges deep into the world of New York's punk underground, sex clubs, and biker bars.

Joey Diamonds is on the verge of being a “made” man, with ice-cold blue eyes that pierce through the hearts of women...and men. After being disowned by his Mafia family, losing the love of his life, and realizing the world at large is his enemy, Joey throws extreme caution to the wind on his journey of self-debauchery in the name of fame and fortune. The Purple Don is the story of how self-destruction is never simply an internal state, and everyone around can be destroyed in the process.

After his wife’s death, retired cop Walter "Pops" Washington has made a home for his ex-felon son in his sprawling, rent-controlled, Riverside Drive apartment. Will a long-simmering feud with the NYPD cause him to lose his home and the family he’s built there?

Unlike other branches of the armed services, the Navy draws its police force from the ranks as temporary duty - Shore Patrol. In this funny, bawdy, moving audiobook set during the height of the Vietnam War, two career sailors in transit in Norfolk, Virginia - Billy "Bad-Ass" Buddusky and Mule Mulhall - are assigned to escort 18-year-old Larry Meadows from Norfolk to the brig in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, where he is to serve an eight-year sentence for petty theft. It's good duty, until the two old salts realize the injustice of the sentence and are oddly affected by the naive innocence of their young prisoner.

On January 21, 1998, the night before his 38th birthday, federal prosecutor Stanley Alpert was kidnapped by a car full of gun-toting thugs. Hoping to make a large withdrawal with his ATM card, they took him, blindfolded, to a Brooklyn apartment, and improvised. All night, his captors alternately held guns to his head, threatened his family, engaged him in discussions of "gangsta" philosophy, sought his legal advice, and even offered him sexual favors from their prostitute girlfriends as a "birthday present."

Marshall Karp is an acclaimed playwright known for his witty sense of humor and crackling dialogue. His debut novel The Rabbit Factory stars the irreverent LAPD detective duo of Mike Lomax and Terry Biggs. Dean Lamaar is the architect of an entertainment empire and the creator of iconic characters like Rambunctious Rabbit and McGreedy the Moose.

In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.

A bad best man’s speech can ruin a wedding. Why do we plan every detail of a perfect day and then give the groom’s idiot best friend five minutes of total power? Enter Nate (Glen Powell), a speechwriter-for-hire who helps people write incredible best man speeches. To keep the best man from embarrassing himself (and the newlyweds), Nate uses his list of don’ts: Don’t mention the exes, don’t be rated R, and don’t bum everyone out. Nate’s system never fails. That is, until he meets Dan (Nicholas Braun).

Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).